Alanabananaxox - Blog Posts

I got the flu so I missed my creative writing class today. I got my project corrected on my e-mail, though!! I might post a snippet on here, the full thing will be over on substack.

I got new books! Gótico Botánico (a short story collection about plant related horror) for a bookclub and short stories by Samantha Schweblin.

I’m drawing a lot these days.

Have an awesome weekend,

Love you,

Anna.

literally the most beautiful man to ever exist

Al Pacino behind the scenes of The Godfather (1972)

made by me on picsart after I got my brother’s help to finish playing Arkham Knight

I hope your weekend was amazing, mine was pretty good.

I spent my weekend relaxing, I dyed my hair and got my nails done (if there’s typos here blame my acrylics).

I finished ‘La familia’ by Sara Mesa and I liked it less than I thought I would.

I got my creative writing workshop project corrected and i’m happy with the feedback I got.

I’m looking into reformer pilates because I got injured and can’t go running for a while, and that was all the exercise I did apart from hiking and walking everywhere I could.

I’m really into patterned tights, polka dots and pastel pink hair lately.

Ciao, Ciao. Til next time,

Anna.

I had my second creative writing workshop today. I didn’t write to you guys about the first because it was just an introduction, and not much happened. Today was good, though.

The class is from four to seven p.m. and pretty dense in terms of what we are taught, I enjoy it a lot. I submitted my first short story (I will publish it on Substack once my teacher corrects it).

I also went to uni today, although I’d dropped out, I went to meet with some friends and stayed for a class. I loved seeing everyone and catching up, I laughed a lot.

The air is not so chilly anymore and it starts to smell sweeter, like cherry blossoms. I like when I can feel spring clawing its way through. Anytime spring comes slowly I always think of Hades and Persephone bidding their goodbyes in the underworld.

Also, crazy thing happening lately on my tumblr!! I’ve been getting asks of people genuinely insulting my appearance, and others asking me if I had foetal abnormalities. First of all, I do not. I am not disabled and I’m very lucky. Second of all, I do not tolerate these kind of attitudes so I’ve blocked those accounts.

I know I’m not the prettiest girl in the wolrd, but that doesn’t make me worth any less. Plus, I am pretty, and happy, and loved. I’m good.

All yours,

Anna 🫶🏻

P.S. I’m dyeing my hair tomorrow! (only fixing the roots, might post a pic of it! ☺️)

This diva is such a good writer and such a cool girl 🫶🏻🤧

"The doctors said this was typical for my condition, my brain simply works differently. It might be a struggle but I can do other things better than most people, I have different abilities. "Differently abled", I hate that term. They make my brain sound like some kind of alien substance. A material from a different planet, a repulsing slime that disgusts and intrigues them at the same time. One that they cannot study because they don't know how and they cannot name because they wouldn't know where to start.

I named it, it's "no borax, no glue, no shaving cream, no contactlense fluid activated slime". In a way, they're right. It disgusts me too sometimes."

-An excerpt of the story I'm currently writing (haven't decided on the title yet)

Need this

WHAT THE FUCK IS HOOKUP CULTURE MARRY ME IN ITALY AND I’LL DIE IN A CAR EXPLOSION

Hey, lovelies! I’m back on Substack!

The tiny screenshotted fragment there is from the latest chapter of a story I post monthly, apart from my essays or short stories which I try to post weekly on fridays, but it’d been a while since I last posted.

Here’s the link to my latest piece, read the previous chapters before it (or don’t) and tell me what you think! I love hearing from you!!

I missed you all,

Anna

also where are you from xx

I’m from Spain!! :)

wait i didn't know you dropped out of college?? what happened

Nothing, really. I started a purely academic degree (literary studies) thinking that was my thing, thinking I wanted to dedicate my time to research and reading papers and it wasn’t for me. I’m to creative and active to sit around reading articles that i disagree with for the most part, I get angry and don’t study and my essays turn out hateful and uncalled for.

But I’m going back to uni this september, I’ll be a humanities major!

I’m on a weekend getaway with my family, life’s been different since I dropped out of college.

I’m talking to a guy and I really like him, which doesn’t usually happen, he lives three hours away from me. I hope he doesn’t see this🤧.

I’m reading Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis.

I recently went to the cinema to watch spellbound, a 1945 movie starring Ingrid Bergman and Gregory Peck; all the other people in the screening were over sixty and that was kind of funny. Spellbound is one of my favorite movies ever.

I’m working on a screenplay and really enjoying it, and for now just trying to get back on track with life.

Love always,

Anna.

this is what yearning girlbloggers smell like, btw

this is me for real

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?

A lot has happened since I last made a photodump/life update diary entry here, for instance, I dropped out of college.

I dropped out because I realized academics were not for me, I’m still getting a degree, just needed to clear my head, find something I wanted to do, something I saw myself in.

My substack is growing and I’m happy with it, it feels surreal when people enjoy my writing.

I’m reading lunar park by Bret Easton Ellis and I have so many thoughts about it but most of them are not nice, which sucks because he used to be (still is) my favorite author.

I’m painting and drawing again, I painted the pic in the middle.

I began writing a screenplay for a slasher film, something fun and dynamic and stupid and very campy 90s.

I’m confused about a lot of things, I don’t really know what they are.

Until next time,

Anna.

I just finished the second week of uni. It went by really quickly, it's been good. I don't have much work yet so I've been getting back into substack lately.

I made an instagram account specifically for my writing, it's @thatswhytheycallmeanitaa, i hope you follow it. I also hope you follow my substack, you won't regret it.

I'm currently reading Antigone, for uni; it always makes me tear up. I'm writing a lot, in fact I will post an essay on substack tomorrow (hopefully).

Substack is a strange place, just as tumblr or letterboxd are, it's hard to find a community there, plus nobody I know in real life ever uses any of these apps. Most of my Substack followers and subscribers are people I know irl who decided to subscribe to do me a favor, but they never read, like or comment on my posts; it's discouraging.

For all my life I've thought the only possible job I could ever have was to be a writer or artist, now, already in university, I fear people might not want to consume my art; I fear being invisible.

Maybe this is weird, but I'm scared. I've only ever wanted to write, and to have people consume my writing.

Anyways, I'm going crazy but I still love all of you,

Xx, lots of love,

Anna

Hey angels. How was your weekend? I hope It was amazing. I didn't do much apart from homework and uni stuff. Anyway, I wrote on my substack; I did a weekly r.e.p.o.r.t, that's where you say the things you're into that week, I put some pictures of the fashion I was into, I think it turned out great. Here's the link if you guys wanna check it out.

https://annagutierrez.substack.com/p/weekly-report

Gratefully,

Anna.

I've been getting more views on tumblr lately, and I thought why not do a bit of self promotion? So here I am. If you follow me you know my name is Anna, I'm a literature student in uni, I'm seventeen and I dream of being a writer. A long time ago I began using substack, but due to unforeseen circumstances I had to leave it extremely unkempt. I am fixing it up now, separating my english writing from my spanish stuff, editing things, all that jazz.

I hope to write there more, and I'd like to have more people read my musings, so: if you like my posts here I believe you'll enjoy my substack posts a lot more, and it would make me unbelievably happy to have your support.

I write short stories or personal essays to process what I feel, I pour my heart out on the page for the whole world to see.

here's the link

(and on the topic of social media links, here are the rest of my socials: Insta, pinterest, letterboxd and goodreads)

Anyway, I hope you had an amazing weekend, lots of love,

Anna.

It's my third day in uni, I thought I'd give my tumblr angels a bit of an update. Things are going well, I'm extremely nervous, still, but I'm doing better, I now know more people which makes me feel a slight sense of calm, of belonging. I've got three classes today and basically no breaks in between them, which sucks but its alright.

I think I'm going to a party tomorrow, which is great since I love partying and going out (I know, I don't look like i do).

I've been obsessed with Here comes your man by the Pixies, can't stop listening. Also, listening to a lot of Nancy Sinatra. I haven't written anything substantial but I believe this experience will give me material.

My eyes twitch nervously and I sweat even though it's pretty cold. That annoys me. I went to buy some books for class yesterday, that was fun.

Nervously, and maybe a bit perversely,

Anna.

Starting uni today, I've been trying to hold my tears in since I woke up. I couldn't get much sleep because of how nervous I was, I woke up at three in the morning, and finally got up to get ready at five; It's almost seven now.

How strange this is, I feel as if my youth withered away. I miss my childhood, and especially my teenage years, which weren't too cheerful as I was a strange child, and even stranger teenage girl. I guess nostalgia is a bitch, but I just want to be fourteen again. Time goes by so quickly I'm getting whiplash.

I'm scared about meeting people, scared to not make friends, scared to be that weird teenage girl forever. I can't eat, my stomach's all closed up, and I've got a migraine. God, this is weird.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted, lots of love,

Anna.

Starting university tomorrow. Can't believe it, I'm going crazy. I had lunch with my family yesterday, they're strange people and I've never felt much of a kinship towards them, as a little girl I used to think I was an alien.

Anyway, having lunch with them only stressed me more about uni, like: will I make friends? Will people like me? Will it be too hard, will I be too lonely, will I fit in? God, I am terrified. But I can't stop time so I'll just have to deal with it.

I'm re-reading (probably for the seventh time...) Donna Tartt's The Secret History, it always makes me feel better, I get lost in the pages and feel at home.

It still hasn't hit me, the realization that I'm going to university tomorrow. I guess when it hits it'll be much more emotional than this.

Anyway, love you always,

Anna.

the fact this won't ever be finished will haunt me for decades.

promotional image for a never finalized Frankenstein adaptation directed by David Cronenberg (via A24’s ‘Never Coming to a Theater Near You’ zine)

I will always be a 1940s introspective female author wannabe.

Hola chicas! Sé que esto es un poco diferente a lo que suelo publicar, pero acabo de subir un ensayo en Substack y me gustaría que lo leyeran. El ensayo es un trabajo que hice para clase de historia de la filosofía el año pasado, es sobre la relación entre el marxismo y el feminismo y habla de que pese a sus similitudes las dos doctrinas nunca se han unido, y de el porqué de todo eso. aquí está el link:

enlamadrigueradelconejo.substack.com

Marxismo y feminismo un matrimonio infeliz

La tensa relación entre el marxismo y el feminismo

Espero que os guste, como siempre,

Xx,

Anna.

I am starting uni on September 16th. I am scared, as I don't know anybody (all of my friends are going to other colleges, and studying things far more useful than literary studies and classics).

A couple months back I went on a tour of the humanities faculty building and it is absolutely beautiful, it looks like it could belong in a Donna Tartt novel, or a Shirley Jackson story: creepy, kind of unsettling, old, reminiscent of gothic architecture, beautiful.

I am excited, but also extremely confused, when I was building my timetable I realized none of my classes were on Fridays, and upon further research I found out there is no class on Fridays. I am confused about that.

Anyway, as I do every year before school starts, or, As I've done for the past three years, I will be re-reading The Secret History by Donna Tartt. I have had to buy a new copy because the one I've had since 2021 is so used the pages fall off. I am currently reading The Goldfinch, also by Donna Tartt.

Have a good academic year, lots of love,

Anna.

this and a pack of cigs

Ok, I know I've been kind of quiet on here for the past few months, but what can I say, I have been on holiday. In July I spent some time with friends in Barcelona, basically just going clubbing and having brunches, and in August I left with my family on a road trip from Milan to the south of France, stopping in Monte Carlo. It was so incredibly hot I don't think I have ever sweated this much! I wrote a lot in my journals and I practically didn't read at all.

I am currently in France, in a small chateau my family owns, I am reading a lot and eating healthy. I kind of neglected my health throughout my vacation.

I am starting uni in September, I'll be a Literature Studies major. I am a little bit scared. The secret history is keeping me motivated for some strange reason.

Much love,

Anna

p.s. most of these pics are mine, except for the ones with girls in them!!

I am currently recovering from a hungover because I went out last night, I usually don't really party but I graduated highschool yesterday and went to a bar to celebrate with friends. I had so much fun!!

I am also studying for my Uni Access Exams which are in about a week (I am so anxious).

I don't have much time to read lately, but I'm currently reading The sun also rises by Ernest Hemingway and Magnolia Parks by Jessa Hastings.

Xoxo,

Anna.