Okay It Got Better For Sureeee!!

specifically wanda maximoff please

so i spent a day admitted, the went home after having some relief. then it all came back full force 12 hours later so im back in emergency. lol

on day 5 of a migraine get me out of here

oh fuck yes.

kind of deeply obsessed with the idea of everyone thinking helia is kind of a dick. like not riven-levels of asshole but most people find him off-putting and hard to get along with by virtue of him being such an intense person. and he’s the kind of person who does things to the beat of his own drum. he’s very one track minded in that way and it makes it hard for others to collaborate with him and find him agreeable on a surface-level capacity. even still people find him likable but in a more distant, unattainable way. but anyone who spends time with him one-on-one and has a conversation with him realizes that he’s actually super non-judgmental and easy to talk to. and he really does like connecting with people, he just doesn’t go out of his way to spend his time on things that don’t catch his attention. and he’s honestly just super sweet.

in contrast, flora is affable and beloved and on average treats people so kindly and sweetly. so everyone’s impression of flora is that she’s a gentle and sweet person who rarely has a bad thing to say about anyone. and while this is partially true, she oftentimes has her private reservations about people that she only truly feels comfortable voicing with her close friends (ie the winx) but won't ever hide from anyone if directly confronted. her natural sociability makes it so that she's very easy to get along with and collaborate with, but people often underestimate her sharp judgment of character and tend to reduce her to her gentleness when she's much more strong-willed than she comes across.

& when helia and flora get together, it's the coupling of two people who are more understated on the surface but actually quite intense to their core. they match each other's freaks <3

i really want to reapproach the way i see success.

i think ive slowly been doing it for a few years now, but theres definitely more i can do.

i always think of it in the grand life goal kind of way.

but it doesnt need to be that..

and for me, i really wanna see if i can find things in my day-to-day life that are, a success.

did i put myself out of my comfort zone that day trying something new?

did i take a deep breath and calm my thoughts before getting frustrated at somebody?

did i show care to myself even when i felt unworthy of life?

did i do anything where if i was reading a book about me. would i be proud of the bee on that page?

because the answer is probably yes most days. but im not treating myself as if thats the case.

im so harsh to myself and i know this. i give grace to others where i would never for myself.

i just want to treat myself gently.

so cheers to small successes, the steps forward even when theres also steps backward..

and to not just treating others the way we want to be treated, but treating ourselves that way too.

Hello! I'm going to be running some lessons on queer stuff in my highschools Queer Student Union, and I plan on doing one or two days dedicated to us intersex people. What core concepts do you think i should I teach someone who has never even heard of intersex people before?

Oh excellent! I have a lot of recommendations, so this is going to be a long one.

What is intersex, and what it isn't - We are people whose natural sex characteristics fall outside of what is typically male or female. Here is a list of intersex conditions/variations you can use as examples.

Being intersex is not the same as being transgender or nonbinary, and is a separate category from gender identity; you do not transition into being intersex. Intersex is not a third sex, but rather an 'other' category, for those whose natural development does not fit typical ideas of male or female bodies.

Not all intersex people identify as LGBTQIA+, which should be respected, just as it should be respected that intersexuality is a valid and included reason someone can consider themselves part of the community. Intersex people are included in pride.

We are not disordered for our intersex traits, intersexuality is a natural occurrence in any population with males and females. Some intersex variations do come with associated health conditions, but it is not the intersex part of the variation that is the health condition, and not everyone with intersex traits has health complications. I would recommend this page We are More Than a Disorder, and this statement on DSD terminology from InterACT, one of the most prominent intersex advocacy groups.

It is not in our best interest to forcefully sort us into the male & female sex binary. Intersex people can be any gender and may consider their sex to be male or female (this may or may not be in addition to being intersex. Many of us consider ourselves to be intersex males or intersex females, and some of us consider ourselves to just be intersex) It is wrong to say phrases such as 'all intersex people are male or female', or 'intersex variations are sex specific'. Sorting us into this binary comes with the caveat that we are 'wrong' males or 'wrong' females, rather than normal, fully formed, intersex human beings. This is the basis of the oppression we face.

Be sure to note that no intersex people, including those with genital variations, have both reproductive organs, we are not H-words (good time to add that this word is outdated/derogatory and I considered a slur). A hermaphrodite can only come from a hermaphroditic species, such as snails and worms. The use of the term hermaphrodite itself should be discouraged, even in context of animals. A term like monoecious is much better. The term hermaphrodite and pseudohermaphrodite used to be medical terms for us, and was commonly used in the early days of intersex activism, such as here. An intersex person may reclaim this word, but it is inappropriate and wrong to refer to an intersex person this way.

Intersex variations are not rare. We make up over 2% of the population (there is no accurate statistic because of a number of factors, intersex variations are extremely underreported, or erased from medical records). We are a widely invisible group who has been purposely erased with medical violence for decades. We are considered "rare" because of 'corrective' and 'normalizing' treatments. Intersex healthcare as it currently stands is more concerned with making us 'look normal' rather than making sure we are healthy. I would recommend reading @dabwax's paper Medicalizing Sex: The Erasure of Sexual Diversity, and this TED Talk by Georgiann Davis. include what you will from that in your lesson. Don't skimp out on the medical erasure part, it is very very very important for anyone learning about intersex people to be aware of just how far behind our movement for bodily autonomy is.

These medical interventions are not a thing of the past, and happen in all of the grey shaded countries on this map. Not only do they happen, they are often considered proper medical protocol.

I hope this is helpful! Good luck!

If any others want to add on, please feel free!

I wish health professionals understood that because I am disabled and in pain so much it takes a toll on my mental health...

that doesn't mean I have somatic symptom disorder

thanks for coming to my Ted talk

Classical Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, pancreatic insufficienty, hemiplegic migraines

thanks for the suggestions ill add them to the research list!!

chronic illness sucks like i just wanna do my silly little hobbies

im being referred to multiple new specialists and being put on multiple new medications im so exhausted and im sick of not getting any answers and only short term relief

its really confusing when youve had a traumatic childhood, but your adult life has been really traumatic too.

because on the one hand i have so much nostalgia for my childhood and i long for it, but on the other hand it really wasnt that great.. i just had less responsibility for my health.

i feel like im constantly searching for when i felt safe, but im not even sure if there was really a time where i truely felt safe.

i think thats why i love engaging with media from my childhood so much, its what helped me escape as a kid and im still running after that feeling.