It Annoys Me Unreasonably When You Want To Ask People "what Bird And What Mammal Would Make The Worst

It annoys me unreasonably when you want to ask people "what bird and what mammal would make the worst gryphon" as a fun thought exercise, and people with no joy and no imagination always interpret it as "a gryphon that sucks, is physically impossible, and would hate being alive", and - being predictable and lacking in imagination - always, always answer with "a hummingbird and a blue whale lol".

Like come on. Why do you have to suck the fun out of everything. Why not use a fraction of imagination and delightful whimsy. Imagine the combination of a mouse and a sparrow. That creature would be merciless, burtal, absolutely determined to get into your trash and has the power of both wings and hands to do its will. Or a crow and a cat - that thing is smart enough to fuck with people and not afraid to do it. Imagine the ungodly shriek of the noble fox-seagull, also determined to get into your trash.

A gryphon that is a combination of a kangaroo and a cassowary. The only proof we have of a loving god is the fact that those things do not exist. If hell is real, it's full of them. That thing can't fly, but it will run you down, it will kill you, and you will look stupid the whole entire time you're dying.

Why would the first thing that pops into your mind at the words "the worst gryphon" automatically be "a gryphon that hates being alive". Can you not picture a gryphon that fucking loves being alive, and has both the power and the will to make it everyone else's problem.

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zookiefyre

1 year ago

99 legal sites to download literature

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111K notes View Post

zookiefyre

6 years ago

I literally cannot fathom that I’m seeing HTTYD 3 TODAY. It feels surreal. Actual years of waiting and theorizing and f e e l s culminating into today. I keep alternating between laughing and crying what am I supposed to do 😭

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httyd no spoilers httyd 3 this is it im so excited boutta binge the movies before i see it

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zookiefyre

6 months ago

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

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warm beverages my beloved

172K notes View Post

zookiefyre

6 years ago