The Side Eye People Give You When You’re A Young Person With An Invisible Disability Who Uses Mobility

I think they should have kept the skill checks going in the sex scenes in BG3. Half way through, you critically fail charisma, say the least sexy thing imaginable in baby voice, and your lover is so overwhelmed by irredeemable cringe they ask you to leave.

No one really tells you that when you're disabled, visibly or not, you'll have to get over feeling the need to apologize for everything.

You'll apologize for

Not being able to move quickly through small doors and walkways

Not being able to eat foods your friends like, make, or want you to try.

Having to ask for help.

Asking for space and to not be touched.

Needing accommodations

Being passionate about something

Being tired

Being tired when you weren't an hour ago

Being in pain

Being in pain when you weren't an hour ago

Going outside

Not going outside

Being on disability

Having brain fog

Needing medication

Not being "nice"

Using mobility aides

Asking people to simply do their jobs

Wanting to be treated like a human

And so much more

I know I shouldn't apologize for these things. It's not my fault. But, when you've been raised in a world where your very presence is an inconvenience and worth apology, it's hard to not break out of that cycle.

Don't even get me started on the underlying feeling that your partner, family, and friends are saints for "putting up with you."

I know it's a thing I have to work though myself. It's internalized ableism that I need to fix. But it sucks that it was instilled in me and now I have to deal with it.

The kids on TikTok think that just because he was a classic country singer, Johnny Cash was conservative??? My babies he covered a Nine Inch Nails song in his seventies.

Classic country singers (the majority of which came from poor roots) were always talking about how much The Man sucked because they were taking money from poor rural folk. You’re gonna tell me that’s conservative?? Get outta here.

Heres a reminder for you that being dissociated isn't limited to the common misconception where you are frozen in place, incapable of doing anything or even thinking, or experiencing a significant time gap,, those things. (This is a very important post, read till bottom so im happy!)

And while its hard to spot the milder signs when you're dissociating, don't worry i got you covered by bringing awareness, im showing what those signs could look like:

Dazing/blanking out several times

Hands looking weird (depersonalization)

Surroundings also looking weird (derealization)

Feeling detached emotionally, physically, or both

Light-headedness

Less reactive in responding

Forget things more often

Unable to focus or keep concentration straight

And many more..!

When you have multiple of those signs at once, then chances are you are dissociating (extra note that it can also co-occur with derealization/depersonalization). While it can be caused by various factors, i would like to add that it may or may not get worse as time passes and no one wants that thing to snowball until it got too bad (remember, preventing now is better than dealing later) so having a few tips would help:

Grounding (sensory): listening to music, feeling different textures, paying attention to things in your surroundings, trying different fragrant or scents, have some snacks to occupy your senses

Grounding (physically): feel your chest as you breathe, get your body moving to redirect focus, splash some cold water, hold something you can squeeze (such as a stress ball)

Practice being mindful. As it can help you re-anchor back to reality faster, regulate better, building more resilience, increasing awareness of oneself's state

Sometimes we go do our day without giving a thought that were detached from reality, usually by going autopilot and scrolling through social medias without being aware (well, atleast for me) and forget lots of things while being dysregulated at the end. So by being aware of the mild signs and incorporating grounding skills im sure memory gaps and those funny aftermath stuffs won't be a problem anymore, have a good day peeps.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that another sign is your hearing feels muffled, that you can hear sounds feel more distant despite close, i thought it could be grouped with the “less reactive” before.

EDIT 2: It is true that sometimes these techniques will not work,, so it's recommended to create a peaceful environment in hopes of going away sooner when waiting it out. grab some videos to watch, put some of your favorite musics or cuddle your soft pillows (if any, pets) and stay comfy! Do not stress about it because it'll be counterproductive. Full explanation at here.

- j

HOW AUTISM CAN INTERACT WITH A COMPLEX DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER

higher rates of introjection - this is something commonly spoken about in the online CDD community, meaning it is a shared experience even if there is little proper medical research on the topic. however, it has been observed that some autistic pwCDDs have more introject alters (specifically fictional introjects - sometimes called 'fictives') than their allistic counterparts. this may be due to hyperfixation on fictional media, or splitting alters sourced from special interests.

splitting due to overwhelm - meltdowns, shutdowns and other reactions to overstimulation in autistic people can lead to splitting new parts, as these situations can be highly stressful.

autistic traits differing per alter - since autism is a neurodevelopmental disability that affects the entire brain, every alter will have some variation of ASD. however, different alters may struggle with/experience different autistic traits! where one alter may struggle more with, say, language and communication skills, another alter may be more proficient in that area. however, the second alter may then struggle instead with a compulsive need for strict, unbroken routines. this is how the spectrum can present differently in different alters.

unpredictable social situations and the stress of social interaction can cause more switching - as social situations can be more stressful for autistics than our allistic counterparts, it should be noted that these can be triggers for rapid switching! we may rapid switch in order to find a part that is best suited to handle the situation, which can end in switching multiple times as a lot of autistic people struggle to cope in uncomfortable social situations, such as at school/work, during conflicts, or at events. (written with input from @kityenok; thank you!)

semi-verbality, verbal shutdown and abilities to communicate varying per alter - in autistics with variable ability to communicate, the proficiency at communication can vary between alters! in semi-verbal/semi-speaking pwCDDs, some alters may have a few more words than others, while others struggle more than the rest of the system. in autistics with frequent verbal shutdowns, there may be alters who rarely if ever experience speech loss, while there are others who are permanently in a state of verbal shutdown. the ability to communicate non-verbally (using body language, signing, or even using assistive technology and speech-to-text) can fluctuate, with certain alters being less effective at using these methods than others. (note: from what i have heard from non-verbal/non-speaking pwCDDs, all alters tend to lack mouth words. if this is inaccurate to your experience, feel free to share!)

of course, there are more ways that autism can influence and interact with alters in CDDs! if you would like to add to this list, feel free to do so. ^^

"4 day pause" perfectly positioned right around the weekend when most massive pro-Palestine rallies and protests are organised

They're banking on us quieting down.

But as a reminder to all, a few days of pausing the violence is NOT what we advocate for; we demand to cease all forms of violence, cease the genocide, cease the occupation, cease the apartheid system and most importantly seek justice.

A 4 day pause and then what?

A 4th century CE statue of Aphroditos. Her cock wards off evil spirits. Reblog to rid your blog of evil spirits.

a “horror” movie where the main character had DID/OSDD and they’re possessed by a demon but didn’t realize because the system just thinks there’s a new alter

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.

"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity