"if You're Asexual Then Why Do You Keep Making Sex Jokes?" Oh I Don't Know... Maybe Because Sex Is A

Bless you 🙌🏽

site that you can type in the definition of a word and get the word

site for when you can only remember part of a word/its definition 

site that gives you words that rhyme with a word

site that gives you synonyms and antonyms

y'know, one thing i don't see get talked about much in regards to asexuality is how it feels to never be 'sexually motivated' by anything

and not just when it comes to advertisements using 'sexy' models to try and sell you stuff, but like. in general

sex as a favor, sex as a bribe, sex in exchange for whatever

casual sex, 'friends with benefits' situations, even simple flirting

it all looks a whole lot different from the perspective of someone who's immune to manipulation via sex appeal, who has virtually no understanding as to why sex would motivate someone to cheat on their partner, etc. etc.

sex is worthless to me

i mean, it's useful as a story element in fiction, but it genuinely perplexes me that sex is such a driving force behind so many aspects of irl society & of people's individual lives, for better or for worse

and that it's so deeply ingrained into how the average person views the world & various situations, because the average person feels sexual attraction, whereas i do not

i think the barrier between aces & allos is actually even deeper than it seems on the surface at times, because it's more than just the grating expectation that everyone must want to 'settle down' and have kids, it's also the fact that the majority of the world is sort of 'in' on a joke that aces will never truly be a part of

BRETT TALBOT DESERVED BETTER REBLOG IF YOU AGREE

An Unexpected Visit

You meet by chance an stranger man in red and black when he breaks in your house through your window.

The previous situation isn’t worth telling. It really doesn’t matter who Deadpool was fighting, nor how he ended up being catapulted against an apartment block. The important thing is that he fell on your living room, after a harsh landing where he broke your window.

Not that you cared anyways.

Wade Wilson was slightly confused to hear a faint giggle. He looked up. There was crystal scattered around him; he was thankful he only had a few cuts, for they would heal quickly. Wade was inside someone’s house, painted in cream colours, which seemingly was in dismantling process. It was your own apartment.

Another giggle. He stood up and turned around to the source of the sound. And there you were, now laughing way louder.

He wasn’t a man easily impressed. Yet the last thing he expected was a person in a torn wedding dress with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a piece of cake in the other. Your eyes were fixed on him and his ridiculous attire, and he just did the same.

“Wow, man. You’re like a Spiderman on steroids.” You managed to say between hysteric laughs. In a normal occasion you would have freaked out at the stranger… however the whiskey had made it too hilarous for you to take it seriously.

Wade took a liking to you and decided that he could hide a while there.

“May I take a seat?” He said and laid his arse on the couch, right next to you.

You took a gulp from the bottle and handed it to him. Wade doubted, but at last he moved away the mask from his jaw and let the liquid wet his lips. It pleased him that you seemed to ignore his skin full of scars.

Shifting on your seat, you faced him.

“Why are you here?” You asked your visitor, with a goofy- and, why not, lovely- grin upon your face. Wade left the whiskey on the table and smirked.

“You see, I was fighting this really fucking annoying guy…”

“What are you? A superhero?” The cake you stuffed in your mouth muffled your voice.

“Oh, no. Shit. I’m just a really cool dick who kicks other dick’s asses.” You nodded. “Then that bastard threw me to the sky… from several streets away. I don’t think he’d know where I am at the moment.”

“That’s nice. You can stay and eat cake then!” Your words were spoken with happiness. But Deadpool was curious.

At first he thought you were plainly drunk. Later he discovered a sad sparkle in your eyes; despite your intoxication he was sure you knew what was happening. And it was very abnormal that his presence didn’t agitated you at all. Unless something had happened and you took in the absurdity of the situation to forget it.

One way or another, nuts or not, he wanted to know more about you.

“What about you? Were you waiting for our wedding night too much?” You could swear you could see his eyebrows wiggling through the mask.

“The dress.” You stated, not knowing what to answer next. Sincerity was what you found. “An asshole left me standing at the altar. He was fucking a bridesmaid in the bathroom meanwhile.” You drank again.

“What the fuck!”

“That’s what I said this morning.”

“Is that your wedding cake then?”

“Yes. I took it all. It’s one of the bright sides, like not being married to a cheater impotent.”

He laughed and so did you.

“You know, thank you.” You continued. “You are the only one who has stuck around me for more than five minutes today. I would offer you something to eat, but I was in the middle of a move… Obviously cancelled.”

“The cake is great.” You kept on eating and drinking.

At some point he told you he was a mercenary and some aspects of his life you didn’t expect. He told you about a certain woman called Vanessa, a heartbreaking story. You didn’t know if he did to make you feel better or more comfortable around him, but you welcomed the newfound confidence. Your conversation soon dyed of love.

“Damn, girl. At least you’ll get to meet another guy. A soulmate or something worse.”

“My love records has always been really deficient. I’m not very hopeful. But who cares, love is not everything… eh… Wait, what’s your name?”

“Deadpool.”

“I heard that name on TV. You were right about being a dick.” Your smile as sweet as sugar.

“I told you. Call me Wade, though. Unless you want to hire my services to scare the shit out of that fucker of ex you have.”

“No, no. I punched him, but I didn’t feel better. It’s not worth it. My name is [Y/N], by the way.”

“You punched him! [Y/N], I like you more and more by the minute.” He touched his face and realised his mask was still up. He felt self conscious. Even though you didn’t give him any signal of repugnance, Wade thought you were just being polite. The truth was you didn’t care how he looked like; he was an insane and pleasant visitor, one who drew you to him.

“Wade. Haven’t you moved from Vanessa?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said that I’d meet somebody else. You will too.” The liquor was finished, and you felt bold. This stranger caused you fascination and once you found something out, you seeked more knowledge.

“Oh, my dear [Y/N]. I won’t.”

You tilted your head to a side, confused.

“Why? I like you and I just met you.”

“You are drunk and you just met me, that’s why.”

You laughed, and made an offended expression. His smirk was now permanent, sometimes wider, sometimes smaller, as if pastered on him. Nevertheless, melancholy and harm were shown in some of his gestures.

“I’m not that drunk.” You placed your gaze on his mouth. When you spotted some cream on the side of his face, you tried to reach it.

Wade suddenly took your wrist, but let it go. You slide your finger across his coarse skin. Then, you put your finger against your tongue and licked the rests of the sugary mix.

His heart skipped a beat.

“Besides, there’s always someone who would not care about your attitude.” You ended your sentence.

“It’s not about my attitude. I’m fucking awesome. It’s about my face.” He lowered the tissue over his mouth once again. “I look like a rotten avocado.”

“You’re saying you are ugly?”

“Worse.”

“Well, your mouth was nice.” It was a lighthearted comment, but it stired Wade’s deepest feelings.

“What? Did you see the skin around it?”

“Do you think I’m ugly?” You simply asked, hoping to prove a point.

“No. Of course not.”

“I have skin too, you know.”

“It’s not the same.”

Silence. And eventually he took his mask off.

You were surprised. You didn’t think he’d have the guts to do so, regarding how low his self-esteem was. Therefore, acting on impulse you pecked his lips. Then you froze and opened your eyes. Your drunkenness evaporated instantly.

“Sorry.” You spoke. He didn’t say anything. “I-I didn’t want to… I  mean, I wanted to but maybe you didn’t… I should have asked…”  

“Shut up.” Was all he could say.

Wade was utterly unprepared for your actions. Yet he found himself leaning in for another kiss. You didn’t move, and welcomed his mouth on yours. It was slow and chaste, just a kiss between two broken souls. He caressed your cheek, and you smiled into the kiss.

You parted from him, and he whispered.

“Are you a dream?”

“No, are you?” You teased.

“You are too good for me…”

“Says the one who fell from the sky like an angel and made me forget I got dumped on an altar.”

“You’re unfucking my life.”

“That’s not even a word.”

“You’re intelligent too?”

“Wade…”

“How about a second date? I promise I won’t try to get on your pants yet.”

“Yes.” You wanted to see him again. Definitely.

You weren’t aware of the insanity that had just entered your life. However, just like the broken window, you didn’t care. Everytime you saw Wade Wilson you felt happy and alive. So, even though it was a challenge, you couldn’t enjoy more the adventures he always brought. He, on the other hand, just loved how he could sleep in your arms without any worries.

Fate sometimes is a kind bitch, as Wade once said.

Ok so i have this book called “The world according to the Joker” its a little and quirky book.

And in it the joker tells us how he was writing a novel.

And its a love story about him and batman and how they first met. Thought i would share it as it legit reads like someone wrote some fan fiction about them.

Bonus: A little note next to it.

💀 Cerebus from my brush pen tutorial 💀

😂😂"shineoff"

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