I Cant Think Of The Fact That Humans Send Messages Saying ’where Are You? Who Are You?’ From Earth

comic about someone’s strange dream (and daydreams)

Another point for why it’s important to own your own copies of music and media, and not use streaming services, is because the copy you own can’t be taken back.

(This is also a good time to remind people that yout*be to mp3 converters still exist).

what I read

Here’s what I’ve been reading (and also thinking about) these past couple weeks

Friendship is not a pale imitation of sexual romance. It is a romance unto itself: The art of loving and losing female friends

“Empathy isn’t just something that happens to us—a meteor shower of synapses firing across the brain—it’s also a choice we make: to pay attention, to extend ourselves,” from Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison– this made me immediately want to read her similarly titled essay collection because holy !!! shit !! 

Ever read a book you’re indifferent to and then read a review of that book and it’s everything? Everything that appeals to you, makes sense to you, draws you in? This one talking about Normal People, drawing a parallel to (my favourite) Jane Austen and the ordinary, intimacies of romance is it.

“Once you reduce all living beings to the equivalent of market actors, rational calculating machines trying to propagate their genetic code, you accept that not only the cells that make up our bodies, but whatever beings are our immediate ancestors, lacked anything even remotely like self-consciousness, freedom, or moral life—which makes it hard to understand how or why consciousness (a mind, a soul) could ever have evolved in the first place,” from David Graeber’s what’s the point if we can’t have fun? 

The rise of therapy-speak: how a language got off the couch and into the world

I tried watching Pretend It’s a City (mostly out of my love for Scorsese) but reader, I couldn’t do it. I left it mid series and I don’t plan on going back to it. So here’s a review of Pretend It’s a City that doesn’t entirely get my feelings on it but one I can definitely get behind

“The lasting effects on suicide rates, depression and anxiety are still being measured, but in interviews, a dozen mental health experts in Europe painted a grim picture of a crisis that they say should be treated as seriously as containing the virus.” Young people’s despair deepens as covid-19 crisis drags on

tender love

thomas merton // “eurydice” sarah ruhl // ernest hemingway // anis mojgani “in the pockets of small gods” // lemony snicket // franz kafka “the castle” // @fridayiminlovemp3 (mitski “strawberry blonde”) // mitski “pink in the night” // khalil gibran // gustave flaubert from a letter to george sand, 1876 // danez smith “acknowledgments” // “love freely” E.C. @desultory-suggestions

dc literally has better villains than marvel because marvel antagonists are always like “i wear ALL BLACK and THREE PIECE SUITS and i kill people because i’m SAD inside” meanwhile everyone in gotham just be off the shits and have an actual aesthetic and presentation  

you think you’re over it but then you hear the two songs you played on repeat all throughout that one detached-from-reality-summer where u saw him day and night, and everything becomes a little blurry. you’re over it until you pass the bench by the sidewalk, the two people in love only a few feet away from you but in a world completely of their own, and you remember how you sobbed under the streetlights, pretending your pain was just brought about by something or the other. 

you’re fine until you pass by that one corner in the library. you remember how you woke up from a nap that felt like death, the table leaving imprints on your tired face. you remember seeing someone else in a haze, and feeling exhausted and alone, away from home. you remember doing a double take, seeing his face, his voice low the way he’d talk to someone in need of tender care and affection. “did you think we’d just leave you alone like that? im right here, yeah?”

 you tell yourself you’re over him and that you’re fine. you honestly are, really. until you’re playing with your mother’s hair, and you catch a scene from her soap drama. its a girl on the phone with her friend, her closest, with pain laced so deeply in her voice its a miracle no one hears it. “hey, its alright. he was yours to begin with. all that? just one-sided delusions. wishful thinking. i give you my blessing, so make sure you’re happy enough for the both of us. its no one’s fault, is it? love can’t be earned if you’re pitiful enough, if you wish for someone enough. it just happens.” you don’t notice what you’re remembering, which hazy memory, but you know your eyes burn and your throat is holding back a tight, lead-like lump. you know there are burning, red-hot tears streaming down your face on an uneventful summer afternoon.

 you know you’re never going to find someone like that again. you know that even if you do, by some twisted curse of fate, they won’t be yours. you know because you knew this before, before he happened, before you met him. you knew what your person would be like, and you knew it wouldn’t happen for you.

 you’re sitting in a crowded campus bus, golden light spilling in. you’re next to your best friend, and you tell her “you know? i know for sure i won’t find someone like him. i’ll get married, i’ll settle, but it’ll never be like that.” 

she tells you she knows, in the depths of her heart and soul, that you’ll find love. you’ll find someone who fits with you even better than him. you let her have it. you let yourself pretend for a few minutes, but you know, in the depths of your heart.

 you know you have such good luck with everything else, you know you can get out of the worst situations unscathed, you know the corner store always has a stock of your favorites, you know you’re blessed with a little mundane magic because the universe knows you’re never going to get the form of love you’ve always wondered about, always craved.

you’re fine until you remember, and then you force yourself to be fine once again.

042420

As most people are working and studying from home right now, I wanted to share some concrete, implementable ways you can help yourself feel better. Though I believe productivity and quantity of work done (or lack thereof) doesn’t/shouldn’t translate into your self-worth and how you view yourself, when you get work done, you actually do feel better in your own body. 

By the way, it’s the first time I’m formatting a tips/guide post like this, so I apologize that I couldn’t be more concise.

I’ve spoken to a licensed professional counsellor as well as to some professionals who have been working from home for a long time, and some of the advice above is from them. I’m also sharing from my own experience as someone who used to be very productive and an (ex-)overachiever, and still attach a lot of my self-worth to grades and other tangible accomplishments. I hope these slides can help you. In case it’s hard to read, I’ve included it (reworded) in text form if you’d like to read more. 

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