I Hate The Idea Of A True Self That You Never Show To Anyone Like The Me By Myself Isn’t Me Partly

im not built for this 9-5 life im built for living in a gothic castle as a vampire

I hate applying for jobs. “desired salary for this role” one billion dollars next question

All I want is this life with you.

help me legally change my name so my m*rderer birth father can stop finding me

hey folks uhhhh so my birth father has figured out where I go to school and I've been putting this off for years but I need to finally change my name!!!! I don't need a literal murderer popping into my life every few years and scaring the shit out of me. if anyone else has any ideas outside of changing my name legally on how to make it harder for him to find me, PLEASE message me. otherwise, I'd love the financial help—I make the measliest fucking paycheck on planet earth and the filing fees plus publishing it in a local paper (state law) will come out to $429. don't feel bad at ALL if you can't donate, but PLEASE consider reblogging. this is really scary lol and I'd like to take at least the first step to helping myself. even outside of the safety aspect, it's his last name and I'd like to free myself of that

venmo: pcassandra

paypal

hey i made a quiz for which hq school you’d attend. u can take it if u want!! 

this isnt even in a like. ‘doomed by the narrative, im always miserable’ kind of thing. like im happy and all, things are fine. but i think if i caused my own demise it’d be because i held onto things so tightly that i folded in on myself. or i’d feel more and more like a dense mass of lead and one day it would just crack. its like looking at myself in my head and being “hey. we’re never gonna be able to let anything go, are we”

anyways i wanted 2 write this down bc this is a sad attempt at journaling but before i could a friend called. and i was nervous before picking up but im So glad i did because she wanted help with something and i was the first person to come to mind. she ended the call with “hey. you know you’re very dependable right? i needed help with this and the first person to come to mind was you. i love you” i love u too hunz.

you will be called selfish and unfeeling and careless, but you will also be called dependable and sweet. all sorts of words from all sorts of people

i hold onto everything so much and so close with such a vice fucking grip i think im going to die of it one day. even though i talk a lot and say what i want to, sometimes there are such vile, or on the other hand such important things, that i wish could be said but they just cant. and they rattle around my head like a chant until it hurts and then i forget. for a while.

i remember everything bad thats ever happened to me and ive become So good at holding grudges without being angry at people. so its like. i remember what you did. yes i love you. this moment is lovely. until something delicate slips and all that has ever been wrong becomes glaringly apparent.

do u have a bf

it’s a dream of mine to have a beautiful farm

I love when dogs and cats just let you pat the shit out of them and they enjoy it so much. Like yeah dude real quick I just need to play you like a bongo and they’re like god yes I’ve been waiting for someone to play me like a bongo

OP turned off reblogs (and I understand why) but I wanted this on my dash