Xyaphrin - Hey Look, It's Me!

bro choose every possible cheat code 🐈😺

Me: "I really love how my health anxiety has gone away these past several months, I hope I never have to deal wi-"

Completely innocuous rash on foot:

Bonjour.

Me:

Me:

Me: fuck.

So in this case, what are wireless chargers supposed to be, then?

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

“You made it,Captain.”

A robber held up a well-dressed man, pointing his gun and yelling, “Give me all your money!”

The man replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m a U.S. congressman!” 

The robber retorted, “In that case, give me all my money!”

How are my sweetie pees

I shall force you to unironically declare that you're 'not like other girls'

“We’re so divided as a nation, we’re so divided as a world, but the one thing that brings us together always is love and smiles and comedy and an outside family that makes you feel a part of it.”

— Andy Greene (The Office: The Untold Story of The Greatest Sitcoms of the 2000s)

Ares: BEST CHRISTMAS EVER