Refseek.com

So, when I started writing up a book, I decided, "Hey, I should make up a language for these little aliens, it won't take that long, right?"

"Oh."

"Oh no."

"Oh God, what have i gotten myself into?"

May all your favorite movies get absolutely horrible sequels

11:38 - Arrived at crime scene.

11:38 - Examined body. Signs of a struggle.

11:38 - Found murder weapon in drain.

11:38 - Realised watch was broken.

A robber held up a well-dressed man, pointing his gun and yelling, “Give me all your money!”

The man replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m a U.S. congressman!” 

The robber retorted, “In that case, give me all my money!”

I'm unpowerhousing your mitochondria

Circe sketch from gigi's design just cause

this should not have gagged me as hard as it did

“We’re so divided as a nation, we’re so divided as a world, but the one thing that brings us together always is love and smiles and comedy and an outside family that makes you feel a part of it.”

— Andy Greene (The Office: The Untold Story of The Greatest Sitcoms of the 2000s)