Elements Of Desire
Elements of Desire
Chapter 6: On the Mend
single mom!sevika x reader
word count: 6.3k
contains: angst-ish, tension, language, food mention, vi (iykyk), some fluff!
description: school is back in session and after learning of some good news, you and sevika must learn to chart unfamiliar waters.
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Monday morning, your eyes spring open before your alarm can even do its job, and you waste no time getting ready. Putting more effort than usual into your look today, you try at least four different outfits before deciding on one that’s a perfect balance between eye catching and comfortable.
Loading your things into your car, you put on your feel good playlist for your drive to work, determined to have a great day. Once there, your nerves start to creep in, but you do your best to settle them and remember that there’s no stakes involved with your announcement later. Sort of.
As usual, Ekko is the first one to arrive to class and he walks right up to your desk sporting a huge grin.
“Who has two thumbs and is going to the next round of the science fair?”
Pointing to himself, you match his smile and round your desk, hugging the boy.
“So proud of you dude, you have no idea how happy I was when I read your name in the email.”
Ekko had submitted this same project the previous two years but failed to make it past the first round each time. You had suggested doing something different this year but he stuck to his gut and it paid off.
“Thanks Teach, I couldn't have done it without your support, though.”
Letting him go, you place your hand on his shoulders and shake your head.
“That’s all you kid, from the idea to the execution. I was just a sounding board.”
Smiling, you walk up to the whiteboard and start writing the topic for today’s lesson, conversing with Ekko about what he did over his break. A few minutes later, the conversation ends when students start filing in and he turns around to walk to his desk, you doing the same. Pausing when you remember something, you spin around and call out to the boy.
“Hey! Um, Powder doesn’t know that she got in yet, so if she asks you about it, just say I haven’t said anything, cool?”
“Wait, she passed too?”
Nodding, you see his eyes light up as he fights back a smile and you quirk a brow. Interesting.
“Yeah, I forgot to email her mom when I told your parents,” you lied.
“Cool. I won’t say anything then.”
Schooling his face back into a neutral expression, Ekko continues his journey to his workstation and you face the whiteboard once again. You thought he would have been annoyed at best that Powder was also accepted, his lab partner being his competition for such a prestigious prize seems like it would be a nightmare.
Starting to think about it, the two have had tension between them since they met, but you honestly thought it was because they just didn’t get along. Smiling to yourself, you think, could there be a little crush there?
A couple more kids arriving brings your attention back to what you were doing, and you quickly finish writing what you had to on the board. Eventually, most of the class is in their seats, and when you glance up from your computer, you see Powder walking up to you.
“Hi Teach,” she says, unusually shy.
Smiling at the girl, you realize that you know nothing about what her last couple weeks have been like and it tugs at your heart.
“Hi Powder, how was your break?”
Beaming, Powder starts relaying everything she did, the girl’s animated storytelling making you laugh several times. She sees how your expression slightly changes every time Sevika is mentioned, and it almost makes her frown.
“So, I brought you a little something back. Or a couple somethings, actually.”
Reaching into her bag, she pulls out three keychains and raises them in your direction. You instantly pout, not expecting the gesture at all.
“Powder, you didn’t have to get me anything.”
Taking them in your hands, you look at each one in detail, loving them instantly.
“I wanted to though, these last few months would’ve been a lot harder without you.”
Looking up, you see the vulnerable look on the girl’s face and it almost brings a tear to your eye.
“Plus they were too cute to pass up, look at the dolphin one.”
To prove her point, she flicks one of the keychains, causing it to spin in circles. Setting them all down on your desk, you walk to stand in front of her, engulfing her in an embrace.
“This was so nice of you Powder, thank you. It means more than you know.”
She returns the hug, giving you a quick squeeze. No matter what her sister said, she believed you were a good person, and conversations like this only proved that.
“You’re my favorite teacher, I had to.”
Pulling apart, you thank her again and Powder begins heading to her seat. You catch Ekko’s eye, nodding your head to remind him of what you said earlier. Once everyone else arrives and the bell rings, you get their attention and begin the day’s lesson.
Soon enough, the end of the day rolls around and Sevika will be arriving shortly for your impromptu meeting. You’ve somehow managed to not think about it since the morning but as the clock ticks by, your nerves return. Busying yourself with organizing your classroom as if it’s something she’ll care about, you flit about from corner to corner, tidying up.
You hear footsteps in the hallway and almost sprint to the front of the room, cleaning off the board in an attempt to look casual when your visitors walk in. Hearing a knock from the doorway, you slowly turn around, instantly making eye contact with the woman who’s been plaguing your thoughts.
Neither of you say anything for a moment as you observe each other, and your stomach does a little flip when you see Sevika look you up and down. All that time picking out my outfit was worth it, then. You notice that her skin is a bit darker than the last time you saw her, and you mentally thank the beach Powder was telling you about this morning. She’s wearing a boxy work jacket you’ve never seen before over her signature plain white tee and dark jeans and though it’s simple, it brings a tingle to the back of your neck. She looks good.
“Hey Teach.”
Powder is absolutely beaming when you look over at her, recognizing her presence as well. Knowing you’ve been caught, you clear your throat and straighten up your posture, welcoming them in.
“Hi Powder. Sevika. Please, come sit down.”
The two of them move into the room and you allow yourself to stare at Sevika’s profile while you can, taking in every detail. It gives you deja vu, but there couldn’t be a bigger difference in your situation from then to now. Once they take their seats, you walk over to them, leaving a healthy distance between you.
“So, I received an email from the science fair committee last night regarding their decision. And I know I said that I would let you know as soon as I heard anything, but this felt important enough that I had to give you the results in person.”
A sharp inhale catches your attention and your gaze shifts to Powder, looking like she’s about to faint.
“Oh jeez.”
Sevika glances from Powder to you, an expectant look on her face. She didn’t show it, but she was actually nervous, and your tone wasn’t helping.
“What did they say?”
Taking a deep breath, a smile spreads onto your face as you tell them the news.
“Congratulations Powder, you made it to the next round.”
Jumping up, the girl immediately runs over to you, shoving her face into your chest as she wraps her arms around you, eyes welling with tears.
“Really?!”
At the same time, Sevika leans back in her chair as she brings both hands to her face, letting out the breath she was holding. Once you and Powder separate, she stands up, speed walks over to the two of you, and picks her daughter up, spinning her around.
Before you can blink, Sevika puts her down and embraces you next, catching you off guard. Immediately melting into her, you hug her back, feeling the muscles rippling underneath your fingertips while her cologne fills your nose. You vaguely hear a sigh, and you’re unsure of who it comes from.
Once Sevika realizes what she’s done, she straightens up and lets her arms fall away. Clearing her throat as she takes a step back and runs a hand through her hair, the tension hangs between you.
“Um, wow, this is amazing news.”
Nodding, you take a breath to try and clear your head of the Sevika induced brain fog. Itching to reach back out for her, you settle your hands on your hips in an attempt to keep them occupied.
“Absolutely, it’s well deserved too, her presentation was amazing.”
You then begin discussing what will likely come next, hearing from other teacher friends of yours who have been through the process before. The entire time, Powder’s eyes are bouncing back and forth between the two of you, a smirk plastered on her face. She knew Sevika still had a thing for you, and you clearly returned the feeling.
“And I’ll email all of this to you too, it’s best to have it in writing.”
Looking at Sevika, you try your best to keep a neutral expression as you talk, but a smile is fighting its way out the entire time.
“Like before, Powder will have to start staying after school again to work on this, and even though she’s up against less kids than before, attention to detail is going to be incredibly important and what’ll make her stand out from the rest.”
Nodding along, Sevika is absorbing everything you’re saying and reality starts settling in. The two of you will be back in constant communication, and as much as she thought she’d be upset about it, she actually feels a bit…happy. Yes, she had sprouted a little crush on you, but more importantly, you had begun a friendship, and she missed that more than anything. She decides that that’s a problem for later, and by the time you wrap up the meeting, her discomfort has subsided and she actually smiles.
You end your spiel with a nod and a smile, confident that Powder has what it takes to get to the next level.
“Take tonight, celebrate, and tomorrow, we’ll talk about when to start up again.”
“Sounds good.”
Sevika moves to give you a handshake, debating if she should say what else is on her mind. Not seeing any reason not to, she continues.
“And thank you for everything you’ve done for Powder, it means more than you know.”
Shaking your head, you tell her it’s not a big deal and Powder gives you another quick hug, waving as the two of them begin making their way toward the exit. Sevika then turns around, giving you a quick smile before she disappears through the doorway. You can tell it’s genuine, and a feeling of joy bubbles up in your chest.
Arriving home, Powder sprints out of the car to tell her sisters the news, leaving Sevika alone to take a breather. It was so nice seeing you in person again, even if she wouldn’t admit it to anyone.
She missed the way you brightened up a room with your positivity, always making her feel comfortable. It was so easy to talk to you, she never felt like she had to force anything, and though she had other friendships, it was different with you. Shaking her head, she gets out and walks in the house, thinking about what to cook for dinner.
By this time, Powder is already relaying what happened to the other girls, bouncing with excitement. They immediately congratulate her, Vi giving her a noogie, causing Powder to chase her around the house until Sevika walks in and Vi takes refuge behind her.
“Mom, Vi keeps messing with me!” Powder whines as Vi sticks her tongue out from behind the woman.
Taking no time to assess the situation, Sevika groans and pushes the two girls apart.
“Come on guys, we just got home.”
The two teenagers start bickering when Sevika claps her hands once, the noise silencing the room.
“Enough. We just got some great news, you guys should be happy.”
Caitlyn and Isha only look at each other, containing their laughs as the two get scolded.
“Anyways, I was thinking, you guys feel like going out to dinner tonight? We should celebrate.”
All the girls cheer at that, eating somewhere outside their home was a rare treat. Not that they had many meals that could top Sevika’s cooking, but it was always a fun experience. Looking towards Powder, Sevika asks her if she had any place in mind and her eyes light up immediately.
“Hibachi! I wanna see if I can catch more shrimp than last time.”
Of course, Sevika thinks. Leave it to her middle child to choose somewhere they play with your food and light it on fire.
“Okay then, give me a bit to shower and change and we’ll leave.”
Heading to her room, Sevika hears Powder and Isha grabbing snacks to practice for the restaurant, making sure to tell them not to fill up before dinner.
Once they arrive at the restaurant, Powder chooses the middle seat directly in front of where the chef will be, leaving everyone else to fill in around her. Sevika chooses to sit two seats down from her, putting Isha in the middle of them, and Vi and Caitlyn take their seats on the other side of Powder.
A little while later, almost all of the seats around the grill are filled and Powder can't wait for dinner to start. Her and Isha are going over strategy when she sees someone stop in their tracks behind Sevika and looks up, eyes widening.
“Teach!”
As soon as your meeting with Sevika and Powder ended, you were in a happier mood and it took you no time to pack up and grab your things.
You didn’t feel like staying home, though the weather outside was miserable, and texted your roommates if they were free to go to dinner with you. Two of them said yes, the other was at work and wouldn’t be home until later so she declined. Hearting all of the responses, you drove home and thought about where to go.
Once there, your roommates were almost ready to leave, and when you saw their outfits, you decided to upgrade your look into something a bit nicer than what you had on.
When you all finished, you piled into your car and put on a relaxing playlist for the drive. The three of you started talking about your days, and eventually the conversation landed on Sevika and the meeting. You confided in them how seeing her in person made you feel, and after they exchanged glances, they asked you what you planned to do moving forward.
At that question, you paused and thought of your answer carefully.
“I’m not sure, there was a little bit of a moment when she hugged me, but that could’ve just been excitement, and because she doesn’t want it to be awkward. The next deadline is in a month, so we’re gonna be around each other until then.”
You swear you could’ve heard a record scratch at the casual confession.
“Wait, back up. She hugged you? Like a full on ‘arms wrapped around you’ kind of hug?”
Sheepishly glancing at your friends, you nodded.
“Yeah, she was happy about the news, it’s understandable.”
“Right, I’m sure she goes around doing that to all her kids’ teachers.”
Exhaling harshly, you attempted to gather your thoughts.
“Honestly, I’m trying not to think about it too much cause I don’t wanna get excited over something that isn’t concrete.”
Your roommates nodded in understanding and one spoke up next.
“Well, we’re always here for you, no matter what happens.”
You looked at her through the rearview mirror and smiled in gratitude, they really did always have your back.
When you walked into the restaurant, your two roommates continued their conversation behind you as the host led you all to your table. As you made your way over, you saw a familiar silhouette sitting towards the corner of it and your stomach sank as your fear was confirmed.
So now here you are, standing in front of the woman you were just thinking about, eyes locked with a tension so palpable you can’t tear your gaze away. Her eyes look you up and down, even more intensely than earlier, and heat begins crawling up your back before spreading throughout your body.
Remembering you still haven’t responded to Powder, you snap out of it and say hello, looking at everyone else sitting with her. When Vi catches your eye, you see the scowl etched on her face and she looks away, ignoring you.
Isha leaps out of her seat to give you a hug, arms wrapping around your waist. You return the gesture and let her go as she signs that she’s happy to see you. Meanwhile, your roommates are behind you, watching this entire interaction with curiosity.
Standing back up, you glance around the table and see that the only empty seats are next to Sevika.
Just your luck that it would be fully packed on a Monday.
“Do you mind if we take these?”
Looking back at the woman, she quickly shakes her head as she extends her hand out towards them.
“No, of course not, go ahead.”
You, being the closest to her, take the seat right next to Sevika as your roommates sidle in beside you. Your heartbeat is thrumming by now, hyper aware of your movements and how close the two of you are.
Turning away from her, you see the looks on your roommates faces, slight frowns as they glance over at Sevika. Mouthing stop it, one of them rolls her eyes as the other looks at the menu in front of her. A waitress then comes by and quickly takes your orders before leaving you alone with your thoughts again.
Now you’re stuck. You’re not sure if it’s rude to ignore Sevika, while also feeling like you’re obligated to talk to her because you’re sitting next to each other. Rubbing your temples, you hope the chef comes out soon so you can have some sort of a distraction.
Your prayers are shortly answered when she arrives a minute later, immediately throwing food on the grill, causing Powder to cheer. You watch as her and Isha are enraptured by the flames, bringing a smile to your face. Those two may usually be shy kids, but seeing their personalities surface like this warms your heart.
Hearing your name, you turn around and see your roommates engrossed in a conversation, one of them catching your eye and leaning in towards you, whispering.
“That’s the oldest daughter? The one at the end?”
You try to recall the seating order from memory, not wanting to turn around and have someone catch you looking.
“The girl with the red hair, yeah, next to her is her girlfriend.”
Seeing her glance over, she looks up and down, assessing Vi, you assume.
“Hm. Okay.”
“Stop looking, I don’t need to give her another reason not to like me.”
Looking towards the chef, you watch her for a few seconds before your attention is brought back to your roommate.
“Hey, why don’t you just tell her what really happened? Clear the air and let her know that’s not the person you are.”
At her comment, you slowly shake your head, knowing Sevika wouldn’t go for that. Why would she believe you over her own daughter?
“I think it’s too late for that. She didn’t reach out the whole two week break, that says enough.”
Looking at Sevika from the corner of your eye, you see her staring at the fire with a blank expression, seemingly lost in her own thoughts.
“Wait, didn’t you say you had copies of all the texts between Gert and the side bitch?”
Suddenly, old memories come flooding back. You had emailed yourself screenshots of Gert’s cheating when you were still deciding whether you should leave her. That was only meant for your eyes though, showing them to someone else who wasn’t involved didn’t seem right.
“I don’t know, that feels…wrong.”
Sighing, they look at you with exasperated looks on their faces before one of them speaks up.
“Look, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but if you like this lady, you have a way to clear your name, that’s all I’m saying. Don’t keep letting your old shit get in the way of something new.”
Leaning back in her chair, she turns to watch the chef tossing shrimp to people at the table, ending the conversation. Sighing, you know she’s right, and you needed the tough love, it was just the idea of exposing how badly someone treated you that made you apprehensive.
You hear Powder’s voice next to you, turning your head and seeing her almost stand up from her chair to get the cook’s attention. Everyone cheers when she catches a piece, and you clap for her, setting your hands on the table when you brush something. Looking down, you see that Sevika also has her hand laid on the table and you freeze.
How had you not noticed it was so close to yours until now?
You were suddenly extremely aware of her, realizing the woman was sitting closer than you thought. Sevika must have noticed too, because her hand twitched and pulled away, moving to lay on her thigh instead.
Before you could react, the chef calls out and you look back toward her to see what she’s talking about. Holding a piece of shrimp on her spatula, she gestures towards Sevika, who sternly shakes her head, much to the disappointment of her daughters. Powder and Isha start jeering before she quiets them with a raise of an eyebrow, reminding them of where they’re at.
The chef then turns to you, and your eyes widen. Opening your mouth to tell her no, you hear a “Yeah, Teach!” to your left and see Powder smiling at you. Isha gives you two thumbs up and even your roommates start quietly cheering you on. With so much attention directed your way, you feel obligated to say yes so you look back towards the chef and nod.
Watching the shrimp fly through the air, you can tell you won’t catch it unless you move, so you lean back just a bit further in your seat, or so you think. It feels like everything is moving in slow motion as your feet leave the ground and your chair starts tipping back, the feeling of falling settling in your stomach. Hearing gasps from around the table, you brace yourself for impact, praying your ego will recover from what’s about to happen.
Suddenly, your chair stops moving and you fly forward, all feet planted back on the ground. Glancing around, you then see Sevika’s arm wrapped around the back of your seat and a worried look on her face. Clearing your throat, you scratch the back of your neck and tear your gaze away from her, knowing your entire table, and maybe the whole restaurant, just witnessed you almost falling on your ass. Powder and Isha look shocked, and behind them, Vi has a smirk plastered on her face, clearly enjoying your misstep. You hear your friends asking if you’re okay, and after slightly nodding, you face Sevika to give her your gratitude, fighting through your embarrassment.
“Um, thanks. That could've been really bad.”
She only nods, looking at you with an understanding gleam in her eye.
“Don’t mention it, I’ve seen my fair share of falls with those three.”
She points her head in the girls’ direction, and you know she has stories. Holding back a smile, a vision of a tired Sevika protecting her rowdy girls springs to mind, and it’s adorable.
“Yeah, I bet they keep you on your toes.”
You look over at the girls, who are talking amongst themselves, no doubt about what just happened, and let out a small chuckle. It’s not hard to imagine them as little runts, constantly running Sevika ragged. Thinking about what an amazing parent she is, your gaze returns to the woman to see her already staring at you.
Her gaze catches you off guard, and she breaks eye contact right away, turning back towards the flame. Looking down towards your hands in your lap, you smile to yourself, starting to watch the chef again before hearing her voice cut through the noise of the restaurant.
“The girls missed you.”
Whipping your head towards her, you see that Sevika isn’t looking at you but straight ahead. You weren’t expecting her to strike up a conversation at this point in the night but you take advantage of the opening.
“I…missed them too.”
A sad smile adorns her face at that, and you get the urge to kiss it away. Thankfully, she speaks before you can embarrass yourself further.
“They didn’t stop talking about you our entire trip. Did Powder give you the keychains she bought?”
Slowly nodding, she turns her head towards you and lets her eyes flicker between yours, giving you the chance to do the same.
God, she’s beautiful.
“Good. She was really excited about them.”
The two of you make small talk from there, talking about the restaurant and the weather. After a few minutes, the conversation naturally ends and you no longer feel the awkward tension from earlier. You pick up your glass to take a sip when your attention is grabbed once again.
“So…when should Powder bring her project back to school? I get off early tomorrow so I can bring it with me when I pick her up.” She clears her throat, “If that’s okay with you.”
Looking over at her, you see the apprehension on her face and let yourself smile this time.
“Yeah, that works. You know where to park.”
The two of you get pulled into other conversations but the thought of seeing each other the next day carries you through the rest of the evening.
Eventually, dinner comes to an end and it’s time to go your separate ways, all of you standing up to leave.
Powder and Isha are the first ones to say goodbye, hugging you and telling you they missed you. Hearing them echo Sevika’s words from earlier warms your heart and has you squeezing them a little tighter. Sevika follows behind them, bidding you and your roommates good night with a tight lipped smile, and you return the gesture, albeit with a genuine one. Vi brings up the rear, dragging Caitlyn past you, but not before Caitlyn can sneakily wave at you behind her girlfriend’s back.
Not until they leave and you start your own journey to the exit do you realize that you failed to introduce everyone. Thinking about it, it probably wouldn’t have gone well so you decide it was for the best. Your roommates then pipe up behind you as you all reach the car.
“The girls were so cute saying bye to you, they seem really sweet.”
You beam as if they were your own, getting in and buckling up, checking all your mirrors.
“Yeah, they’re really good kids. Sevika’s doing a great job with them.”
The two of them exchange a knowing glance but say nothing. The drive home is filled with jokes and banter, and once you arrive, you see that your third roommate is in the living room on her laptop. Skipping hellos, your other two friends immediately start telling her about how the night went, not leaving out a single detail. When they get to the part where you almost fell and Sevika caught you, her mouth is agape and she starts laughing.
“Listen, I’m not her biggest fan but that was smooth, I’ll admit.”
They then tell her about how you two started talking later on, and they ask you what the conversation was about.
“Literally just the weather and how dinner was. And that she could bring Powder’s project back to school tomorrow.”
“So…that means you guys have to talk again?”
Biting your lip, you think thankfully.
“Well yeah, it’s the same schedule as before. Except now we have less time before the next deadline.”
Your roommate only nods at that, hearing the slight nerves in your voice, and you change the subject, afraid of getting your hopes up.
An hour later, you all decide to head to bed, tired from the day. Gliding through your bedtime routine as if on autopilot, you climb under the covers and wrap them tightly around yourself. That night, you dream of grey eyes and steady hands.
The next day passes by uneventfully, and after the final bell rings, Powder walks in, holding onto her backpack straps with a smile.
“Hey, Teach.”
You turn around and wave her in, clearing off your desk. Sevika had texted you a few minutes ago that she was on her way with Powder’s project so now the two of you are waiting for her, talking about a new movie that’s coming out soon. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and when you check the screen, you see a text simply saying “Here”.
You both walk out to the parking lot, propping open the main door as you make your way over to the truck parked nearby. Sevika’s already grabbed the two biggest boxes, hauling them with no effort and the sight never fails to make you swoon.
“The smaller two are in the backseat, you guys can grab those.”
Breezing past you, you’re able to stop yourself from looking directly at her, but the little bit you catch in your peripheral has you smiling. Snapping out of it, you remind yourself that you’re only trying to be cordial with her, nothing else.
Picking up the remaining boxes, you and Powder quickly follow Sevika inside to your classroom, setting them down in the corner. Looking around, you try to decide between asking if Powder can start working on it now or letting her go home for the day.
Sevika watches you walk in with an indiscernible look on her face, arms crossed over her chest as she waits for your direction. As the boxes are set down, she takes her phone out of her pocket, looking at something and making the decision for you.
“I’ve gotta head back to the shop real quick, but I can leave Powder here if you guys want to get started.”
Shifting her gaze towards you then Powder, you tell her it’s fine and she puts her phone back into her pocket, kissing her daughter on the head as she heads towards the door. Turning around, she calls out to you.
“Be back in a bit!”
As soon as she’s out the door, Powder starts to work, taking out the supplies she needs before placing them on the table. Watching her for a moment, you decide to start some grading at your desk, turning on your computer and pulling up the stack of papers.
Time seems to blur as you’re distracted by the numbers and comments you’re putting on the tests. Glancing back up, you see that Powder is still working diligently. You’ve come to appreciate how good she is at staying focused.
A rough knock at the door breaks you out of your thoughts, your head whipping towards the sound. You call out to let the person come in, assuming it’s Sevika.
When the door opens, you’re surprised to see Vi standing in the doorway. Her eyes flick around the room, a curious expression on her face when she sees Powder working, but a scowl replacing it as her gaze lands on you.
“Sev got caught up with something else, so she sent me to pick up Powder.”
You murmur out a stern okay, watching Vi stroll over to her sister as she looks over her shoulder at the project.
“What is it?”
Powder looks up, eyeing the girl.
“If I explain, will you understand what I’m talking about?”
“No.”
“Then why would I?”
The interaction causes you to hold in a smile, careful not to let them see you. Powder is feisty when she wants to be.
After a couple minutes, Powder grabs her things and walks over to your desk, Vi a few steps behind her. She lets you know what she worked on today and you smile, telling her you’ll look it over and give her your notes tomorrow. Telling you goodbye as she walks out, Vi follows, giving you a once over but not saying anything.
A few minutes later, you’ve written down your notations for the project, sliding them into your desk. Letting out a sigh, you gather your belongings, shoving your laptop inside, deciding you’re also done for the day. You’re ready to go home, eat your leftovers, and numb your brain with as much reality television as it will let you.
That week, you and Powder get into the swing of things with no problem, back to how they were before break. The only thing that was missing was Sevika’s homemade cooking waiting for you when she picked Powder up, and you missed it more than you realized.
On the bright side, you and Sevika were back to talking on a regular basis, which you were ecstatic about, even if it was only about Powder’s schoolwork. Two weeks of no contact didn’t sound like much, but you had grown accustomed to hearing from her daily and you missed your conversations more than anything. It was hard to find real connections as an adult, and if friendship was all that was in the cards, then that was good enough for you.
The comment from your roommate about showing Sevika the texts replays in your head the next few days, and you decide to go along with her idea. More than once, you almost had a chance to bring it up to Sevika, but something always interrupted the moment. A couple times, it was a work call she had to take, but most of it was by way of Vi hanging in the background, always watching you.
She had decided to start accompanying Sevika to pick Powder up after school, surprising all of you. You learn that she doesn’t have to be back at school for another month, and with nothing else to busy herself with, she decides to become Sevika’s personal chaperone. Knowing the reason why, you can’t blame her but you still wished she’d leave the two of you alone long enough to let you rectify the situation.
Another week passes, and your frustration starts to build. Sevika is still keeping your discussions very surface level, and you feel less and less confident about explaining your side. Even Powder has started to notice that something is wrong. She’s a very perceptive kid and sees the way that your shoulders have slumped, interactions with Sevika more reserved from your side.
As she works on her project, you sit at your desk, pretending to look over some papers so you can watch the door. Today, your eyes are glued to the clock, the seconds ticking by like hours.
As if you summoned her, a familiar figure steps into the room. Sevika, dressed in her work coveralls, glances over at Powder before her eyes catch yours. Giving you a small nod, she smiles faintly but her eyes still hold that weary look you’ve grown used to.
As usual, Vi is right on her heels, walking over to lean against one of the desks, propping her hands on top and crossing one leg over the other. They both watch Powder start to pack up her things, the three of you waiting for her to finish.
“How’s she doing?”
Sevika glances over at you, expectant.
“Really good. We’ve tweaked a couple things so she’s in the process of testing the new model but I have high hopes.”
You smile softly at the woman, sincerity laced in your voice. She grins back and her gap makes an appearance, causing you to look down at her lips. Luckily, Powder starts walking over that very moment and grabs everyone’s attention, causing Sevika to speak up.
“Ready, kid?”
“Almost. There was something I wanted to show Vi in the gym.”
The teenager in question looks up from where she was texting on her phone with a puzzled look.
“What?”
Sevika’s gaze flicks between Powder and Vi, looking as if she’s about to protest. Her hand even reaches out, just a fraction, but Vi is already putting her phone away and standing up as she groans.
“Fine, make it quick though, I got things to do.”
“What, like your girlfriend?”
Powder whispers that part, but in the quiet room, it reaches everyone’s ears. Seeing the angry look on Vi’s face, she sprints out of the room and down the hallway, her sister following close behind. Sevika can only sigh, closing her eyes as she rubs her forehead.
“Those girls are going to be the death of me, I swear.”
You stifle a snicker, taking the opportunity to fully stare at Sevika. Her uniform is old, covered in stains and the occasional frayed tear. It’s slightly unbuttoned at the top, leaving her throat and the middle of her collarbones exposed. The hand on her face is smeared with oil, and you think this might be your new favorite look of hers.
She shifts to stand up, and you realize the two of you are alone for the first time in weeks. A weight settles in your chest as you register that this is the chance you’ve been waiting for.
“Hey, can we talk?”
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Kiss the barrel of my gun softly: chapter one
Sevika x reader
Warnings for this chapter: violence, gun and knife usage, drinking, gambling mentions, womaniser Sevika, a little bit ooc sevika but I tried I swear, mentions of sex, mentions of prostitution
The streets surrounding the Last Drop were as busy as usual as Sevika and her men walked calmly along on their way for yet another meeting revolving around how to clean up Jinx’s new mess up. All of them dragging their feet in the process of doing so.
The markets were alive and thriving with various different creatures running around to steal, sample or buy. The one thing the crowd did do in unison however, was separating and dispersing to make a clear path for the terrifying group. All their eyes trained on the leader of the group with fearful yet respectful expressions, knowing that treating Silco’s second in command with anything but was nothing short of a death sentence.
Sevika enjoyed this, she liked it even. The respect she was given wherever she went was nothing short of thrilling, knowing she had earned it alongside their fear gave her a feeling that working with Vander never could. So she walks with pride along the newly opened path and tries to ignore the way her men slobber and gloat behind her.
All's going well until she spots it, until she spots you.
You were rarely spotted in public these days, keeping yourself locked away from undercity society seemed to appeal to you nowadays. You stood there in that familiar black dress and cloak, the one that showed enough of your tempting flesh without exposing your weak points. The dress that showed enough of your figure with your cloak to hide any weapons, the dress that once represented your grief but now represents your power.
You stood there looking beautiful under the lighting of the marketplace, you stood there looking calmly at the woman you were currently attempting to purchase some kind of liquid in a glass bottle from. You stood….
You stood directly in the way of Sevika and her group.
You seemed chillingly calm as you turned your head to notice them, having to be made aware by the muscular red headed woman by the side of you that you had brought along with you for protection reasons presumably.
Your eyes narrowed as your head turned and you made eye contact with sevika, your serenely calm expression changing almost noticeably to one of contempt. The twitch of your eye and the slight snarl of your lips are only noticeable to sevika, having learned all your microexpressions from your past encounters.
You simply quirked a brow at the sight of the group and the situation you had found yourself in, but still choosing to not move out of their way. You stand there still a few feet in front of sevika and her group without a spec of fear or respect in your gaze. The onlookers looked at you with looks of anxiety, knowing that anyone else in your position would usually be shot down or beaten without a second thought, especially given the bad blood that ran between you and Silco.
Sevika could feel her men getting antsy at the sight of your clear disrespect towards them, looking at you with faces of anger and disbelief. Still, your eyes remained trained on Sevika and hers kept on yours.
Sevika battled internally with how to respond to your disrespect, you seemingly doing the same as you both stood still as statues with gazes locked in a heated battle of wills.
Sevika’s men make the first move, one of the skinner ones darted forward with the clear intent to slay you down as his hand grips the handle of his knife. The muscular red headed woman next to you acted in kind as she also moved forward with her hand grabbing the gun that had been strapped to her thigh.
You both stopped the attacks in action. Sevika gripped the collar of the skinny man's shirt and threw him back into her small group huddled behind her while you simply raised your fist and the woman beside you halted and lowered her gun. The skinny man rubbed his bumped head and glared at Sevika while the muscular woman nodded and slotted the gun back into the holdster on her thigh.
Sevika stared at you while you stared at her before suddenly you were walking towards her, until with a blink of an eye you and the red headed woman had passed the group with barely an inch between you, you exchanged one more cold look to sevika before you had passed her fully. The onlookers let out sighs of relief, knowing that they had missed what could have been a bloodbath.
“What the hell boss?!” the skinny man exclaims as the group continues to walk, trying to figure out their bosses intent “why’d you stop me?”
Sevika turns and gives the man a deadly glare, towering over the skinny man with a snarl on her scarred lips
“You never attack without my command!” Sevika barks out fiercely “understand me?”
“But she was disrespecting us” The skinny man grunted out, although with much less conviction than before when his intimidating boss wasn't burning holes into his head with her glare “we could have taken her out!”
Sevika’s glare harshens at his words and her body seems to become more tense as her mechanical hand reaches out and digs into the front of his shirt and drags him close enough so that he was looking directly into her angered.
“I don’t care if she was spitting directly into your fucking face, you never attack unless i give the command” Sevika snarls out, droplets of her sit landing on the skinny mans face because of her harsh volume and tone “we ain’t here to start fights over petty shit like that, especially with someone with that amount of influence around here, you understand me?”
The skinny man quickly nods his head, knowing he'd severely overstepped his station by questioning her and sorely regretting it. Sevika only grumbled as she threw him back into the group behind her before turning back around and continuing to walk.
“I just don’t understand why she gets a free pass” The man mumbles out with a sulking expression despite the warning looks from the other members of the group gave him “what makes her so special?”
Sevika simply lets out a sigh and continues walking the route to the last drop, not even sparing the man a look over her shoulder.
“Madame obsidian and Silco already have bad blood between them, we can’t afford to make it worse over something petty” Sevika explains stoically as she aggressively rams her shoulder against any onlookers who got in her way, desperate to cover up her previous weakness that they had witnessed “The Madame has too much influence for us to do that currently”
“How much influence can a brothel owner have?” The man scoffs out in disbelief.
“You’d be surprised” sevika grumbles out with a grim expression.
Sevika tunes out the rest of the group's rants and conversations for the rest of the journey. Her mind wandered back to you, the cold look you gave her as you passed. Your eyes, god how they’d changed so radically. What they once held of warmth and curiosity had now disappeared and left nothing but a hollow calmness and cold contempt.
It's true, Sevika enjoyed the respect she received, although sometimes she regrets what she had to give up in order to maintain it.
Your eyes looked so different from the night you had first met.
——————————-past———————————
It had been a great night for sevika.
She’d successfully overseen a large amount of shimmer making its way into Piltover, meaning Silco had a hefty bag of gold coins waiting for her on his desk when she returned. She’d decided to spend it on her usual vices as she made her way to one of the rundown bars near to her apartment, somewhere she could wind down away from the drama of The Last Drop.
She’d drunk whiskey neat and gambled the night away, cheating her way into winning most of her games. This, mixed with her sore winner attitude, made it so her opponents left in a huff as they’d slam their cards down and refuse to play with her anymore.
This made her consider packing the cards up, settling her tab at the bar and going to babbettes to pick some sweet looking girl to release her excessive energy onto. But something stopped her as she approached the bar to pay her tab.
She spotted you sitting at the bar, sipping some kind of sickly sweet looking concoction. Your dark clothing was dirty and ripped but that did nothing to distract from your lustrous figure and obvious beauty beneath the messed up hair and exhaustion.
“Don’t you think it's a little dangerous for someone like you to be out here alone?” sevika asks stoically as she sits on the bar stool beside you “especially at night”
You don’t even look at her as you sip your drink before opening your mouth to respond.
“That a threat or an offer?” you ask calmly with a raised brow as you turn to face her
“Your choice” sevika offers stoically as she leans back in her seat to observe you, locking eyes with you
She eyes you with barely concealed lust, eyes obviously trailing from your muddy boots all the way up to your eyes. She notices a considerable amount of curiosity within them that lingers as you watch her trail your body.
“I’ll take offer” you say as your head tilts slightly in curiosity, similar to a puppy dogs, Sevika remarks to herself internally “I’ve had enough threats for one night”
Sevika’s face becomes slightly smug at your acceptance before signaling to the bartender for two of the same drinks.
“What are you doing drinking alone?” Sevika asks as she turns her attention back to you before eyeing your dirty torn clothing “on the run or something?”
“It's the undercity” you point out calmly as you sip your fresh drink “everyone’s running from something down here”
“That's vague” Sevika states somewhat suspiciously “trying to keep yourself a mystery or something?”
“It's not exactly smart to make yourself known to Silco’s right hand woman, now is it?” you point out with a raised brow and narrowed eyes
Sevika is slightly surprised at your correct observation, having it not exactly been public information where Sevika’s place was within Silco’s scheme at the moment. So having you guess it so quickly was certainly intriguing and almost suspicious.
“Clocked it when I heard your voice, you and your boss have had a few meetings at Madame Emerald’s brothel” you explain calmly when noticing her surprised look “you talk loudly in meetings”
“You're one of Emeralds girls?” Sevika asks, slightly confused on why she hadn't seen you working the floor on one of her various visits.
“I’m the Madame’s assistant” you answer calmly as you sip your sweet drink.
Sevika eyes your messy and dishevelled appearance before huffing out a slightly mocking laugh.
“You must be one of the madame’s favourites” Sevika assumes as she sips her whiskey, the implication thick in the air between the two of you.
“It isn't what your thinking” you clarify with a slight scoff “I don’t do brothel work”
“That so?” sevika says with a mocking tone “Then what do you do?”
“I told you” you point out calmly “i’m an assistant”
“Assistants a bit vague, don’t you think?” Sevika asks with a scoff
“So ask so i can clarify” you say in a challenging manner, a manner that would usually have sevika choking out anyone else who used it.
“Go ahead” Sevika says with a scoff and a challenging tone that rivalled your own “what do you do as her assistant”
You smirk at this as you place your empty glass on the bar and you lean forward slightly
“I assist Madame Emerald with day to day tasks as well as meetings, business ventures, money handling” you list off calmly as you eye her curiously
“So basically you're her second in command?” sevika asks with a raised brow and an almost condescending tone “might as well be running the damn empire”
“Isn’t that what you do for Silco?” you fire back in a way that has Sevika questioning if your flirting back or if you're genuinely trying to pick a fight with her.
“Suppose so” Sevika states as her eyes narrow slightly and her tone becomes mocking “don’t think Silco would like that comparison though, considering old emerald isn’t particularly good at anything besides playing with the hearts of desperate men”
“Madame Emerald is smarter than this place gives her credit for” you shoot back defensively with a firm tone, your brows furrowing in a way that sevika finds just delightful
The bartender comes over to collect the empty glasses and you reach into your pocket to pull out a few coins for payment, only to have sevika slap your hand away before instructing the bartender to put it on her tab. This causes you to raise your brow at her.
“What exactly are you aiming for out of this conversation?” you ask bluntly as you put your coins away, becoming all too aware of the situation.
“What makes you think I'm aiming for something?” Sevika replies with an amused tone
“Because you don't even know my name, yet your sat here talking to me and buying me drinks” you point out with a suspicious tone and narrowed eyes “no one does that in the undercity without wanting something”
Sevika lets out a breathy chuckle at your accusation before grabbing one of her cigarettes from her pocket and lighting it up.
“I think you know exactly what I want from you” Sevika states with a smug tone, blowing smoke gently in your face
“You seem pretty confident in how you think the nights gonna end” you scoff out
“sweetheart , i don't think” Sevika says smugly “i know how tonights gonna end”
This elicits an irritated reaction from you as you let out a scoff before rolling your eyes and crossing your arms.
“I’m not gonna sleep with you” you state bluntly with a firm tone as you lean away from her, temporarily breaking the intense eye contact the two of you had been sharing
“What makes you so sure?” Sevika asks smugly
“Madame Emerald and Silco are business rivals and have a very intense hatred of each other” you point out with an obvious tone “sleeping with her assistant doesn't make you look particularly loyal”
Sevika bristles slightly at your words, always finding it extremely uncomfortable whenever her loyalty was called into question, especially after the Vander incident. She brushes those feelings away quickly with a mocking chuckle.
“Not gonna say that hasn't crossed my mind, but Silco doesnt tell me who i can and can’t fuck” sevika states smugly as she leans in slightly “so your free game in my mind, sweetheart”
“____” you state your name as you stand from the bar stool, correcting her on her pet name “my name, not sweetheart”
“Leaving so soon?” Sevika almost sounds disappointed as you get ready to leave, tipping the rest of her drink down her throat
“You’ll see me around” you state in a way that almost sounds like a promise as you make your way out of the bar, the interaction forcing a small, bashful smile onto your lips.
Sevika sports her own grin at your words as she lets out an amused huff before slamming some coins down on the bar to pay her tab and getting up to leave.
——————————-present—————————-
Sevika shakes her head to rid her thoughts of you with a grumble and clenched fists as she approaches the Last Drop with the intention to get the work done and go home to drown her sorrows in some kind of bottle, hoping slightly that silco wouldn’t hear of your clear sign of disrespect. She can’t keep protecting you from his and his men’s wraith if you didn’t try and at least act civil with them.
Then again, after all they’d done, she’s not sure she’d act civil either.
Her mind thinks of the girl she had met in that bar, the one she’d determinedly pursued and the one who shut her attempts down but in a way that only made her want you more.
She thinks of the woman who you were now, cold and calculating with anger and sorrow behind every action.
How times had changed for the two or you.
Chapter two here
omg hiiii so i just thought of this and i js AUGH🥀🥀 so its a sevika x reader where they become friends and the more they hang out and spend time together the more the fall for each other but reader is very insecure and truly believes she’s unloved so everytime sevika try’s to ask her out or flirt reader just turns her down or mentions hooking sevika up with her “hotter” “skinnier” friends and honestly the rest is up to you🤭🤭🤭
PRETTY GIRL
warning: slight angst, body conscious!reader, fluff. Wanted this to be smut, but I don't wanna ruin the moment with Sevika fucking a vulnerable reader infront of the mirror, slight angst, part 2 pure smut is up dw
"Hey, can I get a whiskey? Neat." you smiled at the bartender as you sat down on the stool, your eyes looking around the overcrowded bar.
It had been a while since you'd gotten out and had fun. Work has been stressful and your mind was begging for a break. Even if it's just for a short while.
The bartender came back and slid a glass of whiskey infront of you, a smile flashing on your face as a thanks. You brought the glass up to your lips, your eyes closing for a moment when you felt the burn slide down your throat. "Fuck." you cursed under your breath, savouring the moment you have for yourself.
You looked down, your bottom lip getting caught in your teeth when you saw the belly fat slightly peeking out of the slit on your waist. "Are you fucking kidding me?" you whispered to yourself.
You began to wonder when that fat started getting bigger. You've always been conscious about how your body looked. You've been through a lot of diet pills, workouts, and food that you forced down your throat just to keep the "perfect body" that you had.
But considering the stress you've been in because of work—you stopped taking care of yourself. You began stress eating, munching on a bag of chips and smothering your face with ice cream every chance you get. You didn't even notice your weight going up because of the baggy clothes you've been wearing.
You felt tears well up in your eyes, your grip on the glass tightening. "So fucking stupid." you huffed and wiped away the tears that threatened to spill.
You faced forward on the bar counter and began nursing the whiskey, your mind drifting off to anything that doesn't include your body.
"Hey, get me the usual." you heard a gruff voice beside you and you turned to look out of curiosity. Your jaw dropped, seeing the giant, attractive woman sitting on the stool beside you—her face stoic and posture intimidating.
She felt your eyes studying her and turned to meet your gaze, her left eyebrow quirking when she saw how mesmerised you looked.
"You liking the view, pretty girl?" she teased, lips quirking into a smile. You immediately looked forward to avoid her piercing eyes, your face heating up at being caught ogling at the woman.
She chuckled at your reddened face and leaned forward with a teasing grin. "Oh, come on. Don't be shy. I like it when pretty girls stare at me, you know?"
"I-.. I wasn't even looking." you denied and frowned at her. She chuckled at your defiance, her eyes drifting to the glass of whiskey in your hand.
"I guess the universe wants us to get to know each other. Is that neat?" she pointed at your drink, making you nod shyly. "What's your name?"
You looked up at her in surprise, your eyes widening. She's asking for your name? An attractive woman asking a loner's name.
She noticed your silence and rolled her eyes. "Cat got your tongue?" she muttered. You quickly shook your head and told her your name despite stammering.
A smile crept up to her face. "Pretty name." she nodded, your name repeatedly rolling off her tongue. You could feel the red tint spread across your face and you couldn't help but squirm in your seat.
Sevika chuckled and took a sip of her whiskey. "You're cute, pretty girl." you rolled your eyes, but your lips quirked into a subtle grin. "You already called me that a hundred times this night."
That's when your friendship with Sevika bloomed. She started asking you out often to get drinks. Sometimes, you don't just go out to get wasted—you go on tiny strolls around the park, too. Or she would invite you over to her house to eat dinner.
Like tonight.
You were seated on the couch, eyes fixed on the movie that was playing on Sevika's TV whilst she cooked dinner. You could smell the hearty aroma of the food that she was cooking, your eyes closing subconsciously.
"Someone's liking my food." you heard a voice behind you, making you yelp. "What the fuck, Sevika?" you huffed and slammed a pillow in her face.
"Ow! Hey, that hurt!" she pouted, her hand coming up to caress her face dramatically. You rolled your eyes, but there was still that smile on your face. "Idiot."
Sevika froze, her mouth ajar as she looked deep into your eyes. You frowned upon seeing her pupils dilate, an unsettling feeling churning in your stomach at the expression plastered on her face. "What?" you muttered, fingers fidgeting with each other.
"You're pretty, you know that?" she smiled, and in that moment—you felt your heart dropped. Sure, she's called you pretty plenty of times before. But this one.. this one is different. This one sounds sincere, so sincere. Like it came from the core of her heart.
It made you feel uneasy. A woman like Sevika thinking a woman like you is pretty? Impossible. You're not even close to pretty. Not with your weight. Not with your belly fat poking out of your shirt.
"W-what are you talking about.. stop this shit." you huffed and pushed your hair back with your hand. Sevika frowned, sensing the atmosphere in the air. "What? I'm telling the truth. You're pretty. You're gorgeous even."
You turned and glared at her, tears forming in your eyes. You shook your head, fast and firm, refusing to believe the words that came out of her mouth.
"I'm not. Stop lying. Have you seen this?" you pointed at your stomach, Sevika's frown only deepening. "Yeah? It's your stomach. What's wrong with it?"
You scoffed, tears now threatening to spill out of your eyes. You rubbed your face with your hands in frustration. "I'm ugly, Sevika. Stop telling me that I'm pretty all the time when we both know that that's not true."
Sevika's jaw dropped, her chest tightening when those words came out of your mouth. She dropped to the floor infront of you, her eyes looking up at you with hurt. "Why are you telling yourself that?" she whispered, her voice wavering.
You were silent for a while, until Sevika's hand found yours. She traced circles on your skin with her thumb, as if reassuring you. "I don't know. You always flirt with me when you could just hit on your.. I-.. your s-skinnier friends." you choked out, your voice cracking when you managed to finish your sentence.
Sevika let out a soft gasp, her hand tightening around yours. "Baby.." she cooed. "I told you the first night we met, didn't I? You're beautiful. I don't lie, Y/N. I never fucking lie. And when I tell you that you're beautiful, believe it. Never doubt my words."
You slowly looked up, your eyes meeting hers. You could feel your heart swell at the sincerity in her voice. And for the first time in a while—you actually felt beautiful.
Sevika saw how the doubt in your eyes fade away, a smile forming on her face. She slowly got up, leaned down, and pressed her lips against yours softly.
Your eyes widened, a gasp escaping your mouth. You could feel your heart beat out of your chest, so hard that it could jump out of your chest.
You looked up to see Sevika's eyes closed, her mouth moving against yours gently. Softly. As if she's afraid of breaking you.
You slowly closed your eyes and reciprocated the kiss. But yours was hungry. Yours was desperate. As if you've been yearning for her for so long. As if you've been waiting for this to happen.
Sevika smiled into the kiss, savouring the way you pull her closer and press your lips hard against hers. She slowly broke off the kiss, your mouth chasing her. "Hold on, baby. Calm down." she chuckled. You looked away in embarrassment, afraid that you might've scared her off at your eagerness.
But Sevika turned your face back to look at her. "It's okay." she smiled. "Do you believe me now?" she asked, voice hopeful and desperate.
You smiled back at her, your face beaming brighter than before. "Yeah."
Sevika let out a smile and tackled you on the couch, her lips peppering your face with kisses. "Fuck, yeah! You're fucking beautiful."
You giggled and held Sevika's face with your hands to stop her from moving. You looked deep into each other's eyes. Both orbs screaming adoration and want for each other.
"I love you."
Ambessa Blurb
Somewhat Arranged Marriage AU ︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ CONTENT WARNINGS ︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ Before Cut: References to death, Lightly arranged marriage, Relatively light threats
After Cut: Eating Out (r! Receiving), Orgasm Denial, Gentle Intimacy
- Your arranged marriage to her was an unexpected one. Neither of you had been fond of the male population within your respected kingdoms.
- This distaste caused a large rift within your family while hers was too intimidated to test her. After all, she killed many of her own blood to obtain the throne. And she wouldn't hesitate to do it again to maintain it.
- The talk of marriage had once again arrived. You always dreaded these conversations but never once faltered in your decision to not be with a man of all things. You'd rather one of the tracking dogs. At least they're loyal.
- You haphazardly look through the stack of proposals, letters, and scrolls. Each one varying in cost, quality, and color. A multitude of too similar looking crests decorating the wax seals.
- It was almost impressive how each province and family is so determined to have a special crest yet they all look undeniably similar to one another. Bird wings, swords, helmets, blah blah blah. The same dramatic spiel as always.
- As you flutter through the pages, one falls out with a heavy thud. The sound of the paper thicker and more luxurious than the others.
- You pluck it off the rug covered hardwood of your office and use your sharp pointed nails as a letter opener.
- The seal is undeniably distinct, a soft scoff leaving you. Amused that this is the only distinct letter within a massive stack.
- You falter for a split second when you see the sigil of the Medarda's. A massively powerful family with a brand new head of house. Quite the intimidating figure.
- The letter itself isn't too lengthy but is definitely detailed as needed. It starts proper and undeniably formal before breaking off. A clear indication that the sender grew bored of the usual customs and expectations.
- The letter branches off into discussion of the marriage months and how the individual is interested in your hand to aid in getting the councils' attention off your backs. They wish to rule their land as you wish to rule yours.
- The letter is very well pieced together, even with the sudden shift in tone. As you near the end, a distinct sentence stands out. "Noxians are loyal to their wedded forever. I expect nothing in return besides your hand within it and equal loyalty."
- You take a deep breath, squinting a bit before reading to see which sad sack decided to be desperate and reach out to your incredibly independent kingdom for a marriage proposal.
- What a sad guy-
-... Ah shit. It's Ambessa Medarda.
- Well... could be worse! Right? Yeah. Could be a man. And this may be your only shot at actually getting a wife like you've always dreamed of.
- Though, it is a wonder about how she'd be as a wife. She won't cheat as she stated, and you didn't imagine to ever do the same to her.
- But she's an incredibly intelligent woman. One that is so unbelievably thorough in everything she does that there's never a mistake on her part. And if there is? She won't allow word to escape.
- The quill rests heavy in your hand as you look over the letter you have written in return. Your request for an audience with her is what starts it off. Followed by your interest in discussion of what the two of you are truly looking for within this... arrangement.
- The marriage won't be a usual one. It's expected and demanded upon, but you two at least have the choice of who you can select. And luckily for you too... you both want a woman to rule beside.
- You dip the quill into the ink before signing the letter off. Using your custom sigil upon a dark pink wax. It was a color rarely ever used within formal arrangements due to many seeing it as "girly" or "improper".
- But you do doubt Ambessa would care much for that. After all, you are to be married. She'll be seeing quite a lot ot you and who you are. May as well give her a warning of your preference for more... improper styles and colors.
- When she receives the letter, her brow quirks. A huff of amusement leaving her as she tilts the letter received from you. The dark pink wax glittering faintly in the flames of the fire across from her.
- She appreciates the small bit of audacity before popping it open. An appreciative hum leaving her as she sees your request for an audience. How intriguing. Such an attentive one you are. How... wife like.
- She calls for her messenger to bring her some paper and her pen. Writing out a letter in return, agreeing to the request. Pressing her ring into the wax to seal it.
- When the two of you meet, she walks in in all her glory. Tall, imposing, and a steady look within her eyes. As if she knows what she wants before the two of you even speak.
- Her eyes take in your attire. The leather detailing on the top of your dress gives is a more masculine appeal. The heavy boots and weighted skirt allow for easy movement along with keeping the fabric down from the harsh winds that are common this far up in the mountains.
- You rise from the table and bow in greeting to her. The faintest hint of surprise in your eyes as she raises her hand, not wishing for you to bow and offer such formalities.
- When you straighten, she takes your hand and places a kiss to the back of it. A deep sign of respect within your people's culture. Most commonly preserved for married couples due to the hands being seen as a sacred thing. Their usage for safety and not harm. Her calloused ones speaking of a language your people rarely partake in.
- The sacred history tying back to when your people first became healers. Their hands bringing people back from the brink of death. You are not a society of war, but you are known for being steady and not taking kindly to threats. A steady, strong, but peaceful kingdom.
- You watch as she maintains eye contact as her lips connect to the back of your hand. The contact gently lighting up your senses as she silently pledges herself to you through the language of your people.
- The action cementing your marriage before a ceremony could even take place. She's offered herself to you before any discussion of the arrangement. She knows what she wants. And you are it.
- She holds your gaze and keeps her lips against your hand. The softness of her breathing contrasting with her sharp eyes. She's waiting to see your acceptance or denial of her pledge. The new warlord placing the decision within your hands.
- You hold her gaze for a long while, processing the determination within her alongside her decision. Her clear display of a Noxian's distaste for wasted time shown in her choice. She has no doubts that you are meant for her.
- When your hand cups her cheek, the proposal is accepted. Your palm warm against her skin. The two of you holding eye contact as she remains on one knee before you.
- This is not weakness, nor is it submission on her part. This is clear unfiltered communication from her. She kisses your palm in return. You are her equal now. Her wife. Hers.
- The decor is grand, as expected from two separate rulers coming together. The marriage of a war nation and a healing society is unheard of. Though it would mean a unified front against all of the surrounding nations.
- Such a strong connection, albeit shocking, would mean such an influx of power that any noble with a backbone would feel threatened by. But that's exactly what you both want. Though you are more of the silent appreciator of the increase, your people have never been the overly prideful type. You'll let Ambessa handle that.
- The ceremony is a combination of both of your cultures. The rare furs, expensive fabrics, and Noxian gemstones are but few of the gifts she brought you while courting. In return you gifted silks, wine only available within your kingdom, and an array of polished daggers you picked for her specially.
- The final gifts are extraordinary on both parts. She approaches you in the masuline attire of her people, the gold detailing and hand sewn patterns showing her power, wealth, and authority.
- The silver and fur detailing of your own dress contrasts with hers. It offers a delicacy that is needle sharp.
- In her hand is a box containing a necklace for you to wear. The design special for the two of you, these will be your symbols of marriage. Rings for hers, chokers for yours. She even went the extra mile to forbid anyone else from wearing it or crafting a replica.
- "This is not your only gift. I have brought two to complete our courting." She speaks calmly, taking her time to appreciate you in the sharp metals and delicate designs of your wedding dress. The silver and white contrasting with the gold and black upon her. A beautiful, balanced, difference. The sun and moon.
- 'How rude. I only came with one. You should have warned me.' You tease back as she holds the box between the two of you. The velvet box soft on your fingers as you open it to see a silver and diamond choker. A large glittering faint blue diamond dangling in the center while hundreds of identical white diamonds fill the rest of the choker.
- She lifts the necklace from its confines, allowing you to turn your back to her before she clasps it around you. Her fingers trailing over the design and across your shoulders. Your back to her signifying the trust you have placed within her to always have yours.
- She places a kiss to the back of your neck, right above the choker. She lets it linger before gently spinning you back around. The large faint blue teardrop diamond sat perfectly within the notch of your collarbone. The light catching it and casting sparkles of white on your skin.
- She hums in appreciation before allowing you to retrieve the necklace you had made for her. The box you present made of a thick leather, a custom design on top with a wolf on it. Its eyes shining as she opens the box.
- Within it sits a gold choker, near identical to yours but not quite. A deep red marguise cut garnet sits right in the center of the necklace, a sharp cut compared to the soothing droplet that your diamond is crafted in.
- Hundreds of smaller garnets decorate the rest of the choker, all distinct within their shape and identical to one another. She turns her back to you, kneeling so you are able to reach her neck.
- She closes her eyes as your delicate fingers clasp the choker into place. Her back to you now completing the final courting ritual. The turn from one another showing the trust you two have gained and loyalty that is now forming. You will have each other's back. No matter what.
- Once the clasp is placed, you lean forward and kiss the back of her neck in return. Silently showing your appreciation for her affections and signaling that you will offer the same.
- The action brings a low rumble from her chest. Almost a purr. She waits for you to back up before rising again. Her hands placed on your hips, the feeling both grounding and almost burning.
- "Let us legalize our marriage. My wife." She murmurs before placing a kiss upon your lips. Offering her arm for you to link with. Leading the way to the ceremony hall where your vows will be spoken. Or at least the public ones. You two will share your true ones in private. The public doesn't need to know the depth of what they are not apart of.
- "Your second gift will be presented in private. I wish for you to see it beside mine." She states mysteriously as you both walk towards the bustling sound of the large hall.
- 'I look forward to anything you offer, my love.' You reply back, a feeling of strength and unfiltered acceptance whirling within you. She will be your wife. It will be completed today. It will be you two against the world from here on out.
- That purr returns again, an unfiltered and content sound that comes from deep within her. One that's special for you. All of her hidden pieces are presented for you.
- The two of you enter the large hall and roars of approval come from her people. A smile gracing your lips at the excitement. Ambessa seems to puff up with pride as she guides you beside her. Clearly proud to have you by her side as you both walk to the alter.
- After the festivities are finished, the two of you stumble out of the main hall together. The dark hallways giving you privacy as she cups your face and chases your lips.
- The two of you kissing in a flurry of movements as your wedding rings glint and your chokers glitter. Two ways of showing your connection.
- Your back bumps against the wall as her large hand threads into your hair, her other gripping your hip as she devours you in a kiss. Needing to show her growing love for you.
- When the two of you enter her large chambers, she guides you to a room connected to it. The room filled with a large table and multiple maps displayed on it. A private room for her to think over any plans or expansions.
- She holds your hips and guides you backwards to the back of the room. Two large pieces of fabric hiding something from your sight.
- "This is your second gift..." She murmurs against your ear before spinning you to face the display. Pulling the two covers off to reveal the gift.
- A gasp leaves you as you see two identical sets of armor. Custom designed and for the two of you. Hers is solid black with a gold sheen while yours has a silver one. Her way of connecting the two of you while respecting your families designated colors.
- You can clearly see the care and time it took to make these. Her drive for perfection clearly visible within them.
- "I want you to spar with me regularly... I want my wife able to protect herself incase of any emergency... in case I'm not there" She whispers into your ear as your hand travels over the suits.
- 'Do I need to hire a trainer?' You ask softly, her body holding yours from behind as you bask in the newlywed glow. The soft light making the suits glint.
- Her grip on your tightens a bit. "No. I will train you. No need for another." She rumbles out, pressing kisses to the side of your face and and jaw. Making your head tilt to the side a bit and your eyes to close. Her lips making sure you feel the force behind the kisses.
- 'Then I will be trained by my wife.' You whisper back, leaning against her. A growl leaving her at your agreement and the idea of training you. Her large hands running over your hips and sides, keeping you close.
- "You'll be trained in more ways than one." She murmurs before nipping your neck, her tongue soothing the skin afterwards. And she upheld her promise. She always will.
- She was a very balanced teacher. Training you to keep yourself safe. She didn't care for the extra razzle dazzle or going the extra mile to make sure you were perfect. No. Her first goal is to make you deadly.
- Your magics will get you far, but a knife in someone's throat can get you farther. And you'll learn how to do so. Her wife will be deadly.
- Your image will be passive, observant, and balanced as your people naturally are. She would never make you change your nature to suit her, but she will make it razar sharp.
- The sparring sessions become a favorite part of the evening for the two of you. You get a definite task to focus on alongside quality time with your wife.
- Your marriage grows stronger each and every day. No matter the issues behind closed doors, your loyalties never falter. She's undeniably there for you as you are for her. She'd burn the world to the ground for you while you'd move mountains if it pleased her.
- The respect she has for you never leaves. When whispers from her aunts slowly swirl around your head, Ambessa is quick to silence them. A distasteful feeling in her mouth at how her so called blood is attempting to dissuade you right before your honeymoon.
- Ambessa's words slice through her family "If none of you can speak properly about my wife... then you don't deserve to speak." Its not a threat. It's a promise. And one she'll fulfill right there in her throneroom. Their blood would make your dress look gorgeous. She always loved you in red.
- Before she acts, her head turns to you. Taking in your regal form next to her, watching as you take in the situation with an ice cold demeanor. You tilt your head towards her and say calmly, too calmly, 'It would be a shame if they lost the ability to speak freely. After all, their opinions are against the crown.' You point out. Ambessa's eyes glinting lovingly as you agree with her sentiments. Your words giving her silent permission to act as she deems fit, though you'd prefer to watch her family squirm.
- You've always been the more mental kind of warfare. Enjoying and naturally reveling in the games... it is the way your land has maintained its peace for so long. A war cannot be made if the opponent suddenly grows paranoid of its declared enemy.
- Ghosts... plague... disappearances... all are easy to control and create, to mimic, when one has access to the knowledge needed. Would be a shame if Ambessa's less than favorable neices went missing. Would most definitely break the hearts of their mothers right?... right.
- But those are thoughts for another day. No need to worry your pretty little head about it. They'll learn not to speak when it's uncalled for. Or they won't. Some dogs can't be taught new tricks. Ruff. Ruff.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ MATURE CONTENT ︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
- Tensions have been high along the borders of your newly assigned lands. Causing her to remain in her office or map room more frequently.
- After a day of your own tasks and requirements as a ruler, you had decided to soothe yourself in a bath to calm your nerves.
- When the stars continue to twinkle across the sky, the world keeps spinning, and the owls hoot far into the evening, you decide to go in search for her.
- Your hair dampened and loose comfortable fabrics drape your body. Your footsteps quiet as you cross through the various halls of your shared manor.
- The marble and carpet is a grounding mix of sensations as you near her office, gently pushing the door open and stepping inside.
- Her dark eyes drift up from the litter of papers to take you in. A deep breath leaving her as she takes in your relaxed presence.
- She gives a slow blink and leans back in her office chair, creaking the wood and leather. It's the only sound that fills the space as you pad closer.
- Her legs spread to make room for you, hands bracing your hips and guiding you to straddle her. A low content sound leaving her as your arms wrap around her neck.
- She holds you close to her, making sure your bodies are flushed as she inhales your scent. Eyes closing as you hold one another. She needed this. She had needed her wife.
- The two of you holding one another until her hands start to wander. Running over your back and hips, massaging and pawing at you. A comforting action for both.
- Her eyes remain closed as full kisses are placed against the side of your face and neck. There's no rush in the movements anymore. Your presence bringing a level of comfort and relaxation to her.
- She'll lazily rock your hips against her, kissing your temple and shushing you gently when you try to put work in. "Still... let me.." She hums out, her actions a way to appreciate you and apologize for her more frequent absences due to other annoyances.
- The grievances of others have kept her from her wife's embrace, that alone is enough to start a dispute in her opinion.
- When your soft breaths pick up, she murmurs comforting words to you. One large hand cupping the back of your head. Keeping you safely tucked into her neck. Shielding you from anything else but her.
- Her free hand slips into the loose fabrics of your nightwear, brushing against your wet folds and kissing your neck as a reward for being so good for her. Being so wet for her. Such a good girl.
- She'll bounce your pretty little self right on her fingers, taking the effort and energy to pull you like a rag doll. Your lovely little sounds right against the skin of her neck and shoulder. Drool all over her glistening skin as you lick at her like a love drunk puppy.
- The slick sounds of your cunt taking her in fill the office, her thigh bouncing you as her thumb swirls your puffy clit.
- When your whines get higher, your breathing whispier, she curls her fingers. Your arousal drooling into her palm.
- "Such a messy girl..." She groans against your cheek as she presses another kiss to it. Eyes closing as she focuses on the feeling of your greedy hole sucking her up.
- She can instantly feel you squeezing her as your thighs start to shake. She grabs your waist and pulls her fingers out.
- As she manhandles you, she sucks her fingers off. Draping your body on her desk and peeling your nightwear off. Your legs still shaking from the denied release.
- Her hands wrap around your ankles and yank you to the edge of the desk. Her knees hitting the table before instantly putting her mouth on you.
- There's no time for formalities or more play than needed. Her tongue diving into you and making your legs crush her head.
- When blood rushes in her ears and you're all she can hear, she starts lapping at you like a succulent peach. The slick sounds of her mouth and your cunt fill the air. She eats like a starved woman.
- She takes everything you could possibly give, taking to it like a dog after running in the sun.
- You holds you down as your spine arches, her eyes watching your tongue loll out and body spasm. A deep growl leaving her as she doesn't miss a drop of your release.
- When you make a quiet sound, body melting into the dark wood of her desk, she rises up. Wiping her lips and sucking her fingers off of your taste. Sucking it all up.
- She leans down and captures your lips with hers, slowly and deeply kissing you as she guides your body up.
- She guides your sleepwear back up your body, kissing you on the forehead before lifting you up into her arms.
- Clicking the lamp off and carrying you down the familiar halls to your shared chambers. The routine of tossing your robe at the foot of the bed, stripping her clothes off, and cradling you in the clean linens, is ahead of you two.
- You're calm, relaxed, and sleepy. She's calm, relaxed, and clear headed. Perfect for bedtime. Exactly what was needed for both of you.
- What a way to relieve the tension after a rough day. Sometimes you just need your wife.
Do you have hc for farmhand! Sevika that are nsfw… cause I’m a whore
only writing this because I feel so unbearably needy and sub and touch-starved I'm crying. we got the full length yoga pants, hoodie, blankets 1 and 2, and all four stuffies on deck. chubby reader as usual. @pinknightsinmymind I have another contribution baby <3
she's absolutely a pleasure/service dom, most of the time. I imagine she does like to be the sub (emi has convinced of Sub Sevika), but that takes a lot of working up to. remember, she comes to the farm pretty closed off after a terrible stint in the city. at the beginning of y'all's sexual relationship, which is her first relationship where she's really, truly cared about her partner, she just needs to be able to take care of you.
fucking insatiable when it comes to giving head. I'm talking making out with your cunt, absolutely fucking soaked and sloppy, there is slick in her hair at this point. the first time she went down on you she came untouched in her boxers. honestly didn't even know she could do that, but finally getting to taste you and have you completely at her mercy after a fucking Year of pining? yeah she didn't stand a fucking chance.
after that, takes literally any opportunity to eat you out. doesn't care if your sweaty from fieldwork, it drives her fucking crazy. also doesn't care if you're hairy, baby loves hairy pussy. I said it and I stand by it. first time she sees your pussy, she goes a little bit insane because god you've been hiding this from her? y'all wanted each other for so long and she could've been shoving her face in between your thighs for how long? she's gotta make up for lost time.
doesn't let up until you've cum at least – at the absolute minimum – three times. anything less is a damn shame. needs to have you shaking and fucked out before she even considers letting you go. same thing applies to any other sexual act.
speaking of other sexual acts. her strap. holy shit her fucking strap.
dark purple. 7 inches. girth as all hell. veiny. can be a breeding strap. attached to an expensive leather harness that Sevika takes such good care of. even got special leather cleaner for it. also must add. she didn't have this one before she got with you. specifically picked this one out with you on one of your semi-regular trips to the city, alongside a few other toys. this one's her favorite though <3 next to the black strap that also has a side that goes in her <3
when it comes to fucking you with her strap, she always has to prep you. extensively. im talking at least an hour with her mouth and fingers, getting you all ready and worked up to take her. does she know you could probably take it sooner than that? yes. does she love the ritual of getting you so unbearably worked up that you cry and scramble to hold onto her when she finally pushes in? abso-fucking-lutely.
loves literally any position to fuck you in, but has a soft spot for missionary and having you ride her. for different but similar reasons.
missionary because she loves how you look beneath her, dependent on her, how she knows she can take care of you in this position. plus being able to watch your tummy squish when she manhandles you into similar positions like a mating press is just so fucking good for her.
riding her, whether she be laying down or sitting up, because she adores seeing you use her for your pleasure. it took a second for you to feel entirely comfortable being more commanding during sex, so whenever you want to ride her, she's so incredibly proud and horny. there's just something about having you astride her, taking your pleasure with no shame, no reservations. it's fucking beautiful, and she thinks you look like a goddess every single time.
loves scissoring with you, btw. always with her on top bc that requires some strength and why does she have it if she ain't gonna use it to make her pretty girl feel good. honestly didn't really consider scissoring when she was in the city, contrary to popular belief. mainly relied on oral and strap. meeting you was a fucking Revelation.
I mean it. she almost came the Second she pressed her pussy against your sloppy, warm, wet cunt, clit still throbbing from your orgasm. she doesn't know if any sensation will ever compare. fucking loves feeling you cum right against her, leaking all over her.
as hot and dirty sex can be between you two, it's also incredibly fucking intimate. this goes back to you being the first partner Sevika ever really got with that she truly, 100% was in love with, down to her fucking bone marrow. she needs to let you know that she loves you more than anything, and sex helps her do that. there's so much hand-holding, eye contact, hushed 'I love you's, kisses pressed against necks, etc. etc. everything she does, she does for you, and she needs you to know that. will even light candles for you, fucking you And making love to you in a pink-tinted room. nothing but the best for the love of her life.
that being said. baby fucking loves to take you around the farm. doesn't care how exposed it is. behind the greenhouse? check. behind the farmhouse? check. on the porch of the farmhouse? triple check. on the grassy patch above the pond? quadruple check. she does not care where it is, she just need her woman at all times, however you'll let her have you.
sometime she'll intentionally show off while she's working the farm, knowing just how needy it gets you. can't even begin to count how many times you bringing her lemonade on a hot day turned into you on your knees, dressed rucked up enough to stuff a hand down your panties as you ate her out, her big strong hands gently holding you against her cunt.
also loves your pretty lil dresses, you only started wearing them more when y'all got married and Sevika insisted on taking over the bulk of the farm work. Lets you play the pretty lil housewife, even though you still insist on helping around the farm. Anyway the dresses: yeah she fuckign adores them. loves it when you wear the off the shoulder ones with no bra, bc then she can just yank and expose your gorgeous tits, ready and waiting for her mouth.
also just. housewife kink. I will not elaborate at this time but im 100% certain of it.
farmer sevika smut! I will warn y'all now and by warn I mean but my foot down: this au is gonna have a lot of fluff. there will be smut, sure, but im a fluff girl to my core. this is basically my stardew valley fantasy. I hope y'all will love the fluff just as much as the smut.
Hello🤗❤️
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what about a navy! sevika x farmer! reader where the both of them are on the edge of their relationship because sevika won't prioritize her wife because reader wants to start a family before reader eventually goes out to her garden in the middle of the night.
sevika then follows her wife to the garden to she apologies and beg for forgiveness before they eventually got really really breeding kink, praise kink intimate on the grass in the garden in the middle of the night
Little You's, Little Me's, but Janna, Little You's...
Navy!Sevika x Farmer!Reader
Contains smut, angst, breeding, praise kink, lovey sex, impregnation, possible depressed!reader, modern au, Sevika G!P
Beyond frustration.
With the basic supply and demand of fruits and vegetables during spring, you're always on your feet running errands and supplying food. It gets tiring after a while especially when after a particularly heavy night even when you come back there is no loving wife of yours to greet you, hold you, sleep with you or even have sex with at this point.
And you knew perfectly well this was because Sevika didn't want kids and you did, so whenever you guys would talk now it'd get awkward because of that. When you both met you both had planned out your entire future together but now it all seemed in shambles. The woman you had married, who once said she loved children, didn't anymore. Your marriage was at an all time low, Sevika was so busy with her work and missions that she was barely even available anymore and it made you so sad.
At the beginning you had thought she was cheating but then you both had a huge fight about it, it's been distant since that one fight. Today was your anniversary and this was the first anniversary you spent without Sevika, sitting by the staircase in front of the front door, praying to Janna she comes back tonight because you have so much to ask. Does she even love you anymore?
"You don't sound sorry," You retorted angrily, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
The door clicks at 3 AM and Sevika slips in. She sees you at the staircase and sighed. "I know I'm sorry." She said her voice nonchalant which made you further mad.
"What do you want me to say?!" Sevika yelled back, her voice booming, making yours seem like a puppy's bark, "I'm not bending backwards and apologising for no shit, you know very well what my job expects of me, and if you can't handle that maybe you should buy yourself some maturity!—"
You could hear the faint snoring, Sevika was probably sleeping on the couch. You stayed there curled up in bed, leaning against the bedframe with tears pricking your eyes. You could feel the warmth of the tears falling down your cheek, it's been a while since you've felt any sort of warm anyway.
"All this just because I wanna settle down? I'm not getting any younger, Sev..." Tears appear at your eyes and you say nothing as you stormed upstairs and into your shared bedroom, curling up in bed. You felt miserable now. You waited for her to come in the bedroom and comfort you but you didn't hear her walking in so after you got up and looked around, the bedroom was still empty. It made you feel even more hopeless than before.
2 days pass, it's been the same except now you don't even get up to water your garden, nurture the plants. You just stay in your room, eat in your room, sleep in your room and sulk in your room. You wanted to cry, scream and just disappear but you also loved Sevika so immensely that it was eating away at your whole being at this point.
It was late at night and you couldn't hear Sevika snoring from down the hall, usually it was the white noise that helped you sleep but today you didn't even know if she was home. Body too tired to move from mental exhaustion but you forced yourself out of bed, almost stumbling into the wall as you walked down the hall. Your eyes squinted in the darkness and finally found the doorknob, you opened it and a small gust of wind greeted you. You sighed again, heart heavy, you just wanted Sevika.
Whichever it was, you didn't really care. Still staring into nothingness. You felt the figure kneel down behind you, "Baby," came Sevika's soft voice, "I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said all that."
You walked outside and sat down on the grass, curling up there. A while later, you hear the crunching sounds of the grass signalling Sevika either stepped out of the house too and into your garden or some mindless killer had broken into the fencing and would kill you.
You turned to look at her, eyes tired, face sunken.
"Love," Sevika gently held the side of your face, "Baby, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean what I said. I'm just scared. I'm being a little bitch but I'm so fucking scared that I won't be able to give my little ones enough time. I already don't give you time and—"
"Mm, it's okay," you said, looking away at the ground.
"No, it's not okay, I'm ready now. I'm sorry for being so cowardly, I couldn't even tell you, I thought you'd assume I'm weak."
"It's okay," you said now cracking a small smile as Sevika leaned in and kissed you, "Mm..." The kiss deepened, your body pressing into hers as you both kissed.
"I'd love to see little you's, little me's running around. Oh but Janna, little you's," Sevika said, her voice a little dreamy before she continued kissing you making you moan a little in her mouth, that gets her immediately hard.
"Doing so well, my baby," Sevika muttered as she tugged her sweat pants down just enough for her massive erect cock to slap up against her stomach, oozing precum.
Her hard cock pressing against your clothed sex through her sweatpants but she doesn't stop kissing you. Sevika nips at your jaw, and your neck as she moved lower. Her hands slipping beneath your blouse as she palmed your breasts. She was being soft and slow. Something you've rarely seen during sex. You tilt your head back giving her better access to continue her ministrations.
"Stuff me with your cum," You cooed in her ear which was probably tearing away at any forming hesitations in Sevika's head. She didn't need telling twice when she pushed your panties to the side and penetrated you. Her cock slipping in your slick wet folds with ease, buried snuggly within you.
"You look so beautiful like this, taking my cock so well," Sevika mumbled, she would always go pussy drunk whenever she was inside you mainly because you were so lewdly wet and your pussy was so tight.
Sevika pistoned her hips, pushing deeper into your cunt with each thrust, hands coming down to roll and twist your nipples between thick fingers that didn't hesitate going down your throat too, making you choke and drool.
"S-Sevika..." You whispered and then moaned loudly as she got a little faster.
"That good, yeah, baby? You like it? Want more?" Sevika cooed and you nodded, barely able to make sense out of her words as she thrusted in and out. Your juices coated her shaft completely, you needed more of her.
"Sevika, Sevika," you continued babbling her name and moaning softly with every kiss of her cock to your cervix, it felt far too good.
"Gonna cum in this pretty pussy," Sevika panted out, kissing you deeply. As she gave one ast thrust, you could feel your pussy filling up with her warm semen. Your eyes rolled back at the feeling, she didn't pull out though, she stayed inside for a bit before she slowly pulled out, letting your panties back on your vagina.
"They'll get soaked," you whined.
Sevika picked you up bridal style and took you to the bedroom, letting you lay down as she cleaned herself off and then you too, running you a warm bubble bath.
"I don't care, keep it inside," Sevika kissed you again.
"I'm so sorry for fucking up our anniversary," Sevika leaned in, kissing your forehead and stroking your hair gently as she helped washed your sore body.
"It's okay," you said with a tired smile, "I'm just really sleepy..."
"I know," Sevika gave you a half smile before picking you up, drying you off and putting you in bed, tucking you in. She got in bed too beside you and held you close.
"Soon... We'll have a little human all to ourselves," Sevika thought out loud to herself, looking at your already asleep face, "Sleep well, love."
✞︎ ︎YOUR OWN PERSONAL JESUS.
SOMEONE TO HEAR YOUR PRAYERS. SOMEONE WHO CARES.
cw: religious!reader x sevika, inspo from personal jesus by depeche mode, dark themes [drinking addiction, religious crisis, trauma/ptsd, etc.], a mention of isha because i’m evil, as well as religious themes, nasty sloppy dirty sinful dyke sex [body worship + tribbing] 18+ 🧛🏿
word count: 14.1k
i. FEELING UNKNOWN AND YOU’RE ALL ALONE
sad, dull, gray, gloomy, what else could she use to describe it? constant rain, a chronic form of seasonal depression that lingered in the air no matter where she went. her therapist prescribed her some fresh air, but the air is never fresh here. it’s thick with fog, the humidity weighs down on your shoulders and makes it unbearable to trudge through. sure, the sun shines, but it never peeks out from behind the clouds, leaving the town in a dark, unsaturated gleam.
she crosses the threshold into her apartment, hair clinging to the back of her neck and the sides of her face due to a mix of humidity and sweat. her apartment might be more vapid than the outside world, it’s a small box that overlooks the parking lot and a few 24 hour diners across the street. the walls are all white, along with the ceiling and cabinets, and the carpet is scratchy and gray. she hardly has any furniture, a small couch with a tv propped up on a cardboard box facing it. no coffee table, chairs, or shelves, but she doesn’t spend much time out here anyways.
her ribs start to ache, and the growing hunger in her stomach only makes it worse. she scours her cupboards for a snack, and settles for half a bar of dark chocolate and a glass of whiskey. the couch is small and hard and it barely offers any comfort to her tired body. on the tv, the meteorologist blabbers away about the predicted weather for the week. she feels bad for him, the poor guy probably wanted a bigger and better job than this. foreseeing the same weather for 365 days straight. cold, cloudy, wet, maybe snow if we get lucky.
the dark chocolate she’s nibbling on is cheap and tastes identical to the plastic wrapper it came in, and the burn of the whiskey is only adding to the bitter taste. but at least it soothes her mind. she sighs, flicks off the television, and heads for the shower. the last thing she wants to be right now is even more wet, but the promising warmth of the water will at least soothe some of the pain in her shoulders.
a bone-chilling squeak rings out through the bathroom as she twists the faucet on, and the light flickers as if in response to the noise. sevika peels her clothes off, her sweatpants dropping to the floor and her shirt still trying to hang on to her body. her ribs are more prominent than they’ve ever been, and she can see her muscles slowly starting to wither away with how frequently she skips the gym.
steam fills the room, the foggy clouds of it wisp around her as she studies herself until she can’t see her reflection anymore. it’s all blurry— her reflection, the walls, her own hands in front of her face. her left arm has the deepest and darkest scars she’s ever seen, most of them are jagged from the way her stitches were inserted. she can hardly stand to look at herself anymore, so maybe it’s a good thing the mirror is fogged up.
in the shower she only washes herself for a quick second, rubbing a thin layer of soap all over her body and scrubbing her scalp with shampoo. she debates on adding conditioner, but she feels as if she’ll faint if she’s in the shower for another second. the hot water quickly runs out, and sevika only notices how scorching her water was when it switches over to room temperature.
as soon as she steps out of the shower, she wraps herself up in her towel, although there’s not really a point in that due to the holes and strings coming off of it. she makes a mental note to buy more towels, and just as she’s about to mope about another purchase to make, her phone blares an alarm warning her not to be late to her physical therapy appointment.
stumbling out of the bathroom, she trudges half nude to her liquor cabinet, aimlessly grabbing around for something strong. she pours herself a shot, and then another, and fuck, why not a third one? she doesn’t notice the burn as it goes down, her mind instead focusing on the ache in her left shoulder.
she pulls a shirt over her head and shoves her shoes on, finalizing her outfit with her black raincoat. she wears it nearly every day, partially because it’s always cold and rainy, and partially because it’s a good excuse to hide the thick scars that travel all the way up her body. her spine starts to ache as she walks to the clinic, but she doesn’t have money for a car, and she doesn’t know anybody in this town well enough to ask them for a ride.
the receptionist at the clinic doesn’t look up one single time as sevika checks in, and sevika wishes so badly that she could get paid to sit down and look at a computer all day. she takes a seat in the waiting room, slumping back and relaxing her muscles as she waits for her PT to invite her in. the clock on the wall ticks extremely loudly, she notices, but she decides to close her eyes and count the ticks until it’s finally her turn.
ii. FLESH AND BONE BY THE TELEPHONE
static muffles through her radio. she flicks the ashes of her cigarette out onto the pavement, watching as a pigeon across the street skitters around. another few crackles through her walkie talkie go ignored. it’s her break for fucks sake, and she’s only just starting to enjoy it.
“sevika?” her radio booms. she sighs, rolling her eyes and waiting for someone else to respond.
“sevika, we need you inside. your break is over.”
“my break is what? over.” she responds, giggling at her own smartass response.
“your break is over, god damn it. over.”
“roger.” she says, a hint of a smile still in her voice. “i’ll be inside in a second. over.”
she pulls her phone out of her pocket, double checking the new code for the security door. after punching it in, she swings the door open until it bolts shut behind her, and then makes her way to the lobby. the museum is huge, the lobby has floors that sparkle and shine no matter how many muddy shoes cross over them, and the rest of the stories are complete with floor to ceiling windows that are taller than she ever could’ve imagined.
as she crosses through a giant stone archway, her boss nods and waves her over. one of her coworkers is there too, both of them looking stern and serious. she steps into the small circle they’ve formed, lifting her eyebrows quizzically at the two of them. “well?” she asks. “what do you need?”
“what do i need? what i fuckin’ need from both of you is for you to do your fuckin’ jobs.” he spits, literally. droplets of his saliva collect in his beard as he digs into sevika and her coworker about ‘not doing their jobs.’
“what do you mean by that, sir?” her coworker asks.
“do you know how many people i’ve seen walk out of here with souvenirs stuffed into their pockets? that gift shop is gonna be desecrated by the end of the day.”
“respectfully, sir, we aren’t in charge of the gift shop. we only monitor the grounds of the museum, and you’re the one who hired us both to do that.” she says back.
“then go do ya fuckin’ job.” he growls, his thick boston accent shining through his attempt at a serious lecture.
she raises her eyebrows and turns around with her tongue in her cheek, heading up the large marble stairs. sevika can’t argue with that, and she loves her job. it’s easy— all she has to do is puff her chest to intimidate her guests, hand out lollipops to the little ones who are brave enough to wave at her, and occasionally answer a question about directions around the place. all of her coworkers love her, and she’s never felt more secure in her life before.
ascending the stairs, she eyes a beautiful young woman with blazing orange hair wandering into the gift shop and a smile on her face. that’s not the type of person who’d steal, she thinks, and she’s probably right. concealing her eyes are a pair of black sunglasses, and she’s finally thankful they’re part of her uniform now that she’s got direct sunlight hitting every corner of the second floor.
she inserts her earpiece into the side of her head, prepared although not excited to listen to her coworkers chat and complain for the rest of the day. she flicks around until she connects to the private channel, and then continues to stroll around the second floor.
people of all ages wander through the halls. kids being scolded by their parents, awkward adults grasping clammy hands on their first date, seniors leaning on their walkers and canes as they reminisce about famous painters. the community is so beautiful, so important to her, she’d do anything to protect it. this place is like her second home, and she’s made some of the best friends of her life here. not to mention the fact that it’s taken her years to memorize her way around the place, so now it’s even more special to her.
she steps toward the large windows, feeling the warm sun prickle her skin as it sparkles through the leaves of the trees. the muffled sound of laughing families combined with the sight of her people paints a smile on her face, and she closes her eyes and loses herself in this divine moment until she feels something tug on the bottom of her vest.
“yes?” she asks, turning around and smiling down at the kid. her bottom lip quivers and her eyes fill with tears, she makes a mental note that she can’t be any older than six years of age.
“i—” she starts, attempting to blink back tears and inevitably failing. “mmmph!!”
sevika crouches down and wipes the girl’s tears away with her thumbs, ruffling the kid’s fluffy blue hair. “don’t worry, kiddo.” she assures her, “what’s wrong? oh, lemme guess— lost your parents?” the kid nods and sobs some more, attempting to hide her face in her hands.
she scoops her up in her arms, letting her sob into her shoulder. “ughffff!!!!” she pouts, squirming in sevika’s hold. she takes a guess that the kid is either really shy or just mute.
“it’s okay,” she coos. “would you like a lollipop?” the kid sniffles at this, but lifts her head up and nods at her. sevika digs into the small bag on her waist, pulling out a bright blue sucker for the little one that matches her hair. she takes it in her small hands and unwraps it, eyes sparkling at the sight of the blue raspberry favored sugar. sevika just hopes her parents don’t kill her.
with the kid in her arms— who is now joyfully sucking on the lollipop instead of soaking her in tears and snot— she makes her way downstairs. sevika’s no stranger to lost children, and she’s fond of their company. it’s refreshing to hear them describe colors and patterns in the paintings instead of overanalyzing it and telling stupid facts about the artist. and she loves that she can finally give back to the world, bringing the kiddos comfort like she never received from her own parents.
“radio check.” her earpiece says, slightly catching her off guard.
“go ahead.” her teammates all say, mutually praying their boss isn’t about to go on another two hour long rant in their private channel.
“keep your eyes peeled for a little kid with a full head of bright blue hair,” her boss says into her earpiece. “apparently her names isha and she’s five. parents lost her on the second floor and they’re worried.”
sevika looks down at the kid, unnecessarily double checking that her head is painted with blue hair dye. “i’ve got her.” she says. “we’re making our way to the lobby. 10-20?”
“lobby, meet you there soon. over and out.”
“isha!!” her mother shrieks as soon as sevika lands on the bottom step. “oh my sweet ishabear! i thought we’d lost you forever.”
isha’s dad shoots sevika a look that seems to say ‘sorry about her’, but she smiles and hands the kid over. “what’s your name?” her mom asks frantically. just as she’s about to respond, her boss speaks up and whacks her on the back with a proud slap.
“this is sevika. best security in the whole building, ain’t she?” he says, reaching out to pinch her cheek. sevika tries her absolute best to hold back, but she can’t stop a harsh glare from forming on her face as her boss pokes and prods at her like she’s a doll. she clears her throat and shoves him off, but resumes a smile for the parents staring at her.
“that she is!” the mother cheers. “god bless you, sevika, seriously. i’ll never be able to repay you.”
she smiles proudly, not necessarily because she believes in a god, but she’s just glad to get the kid back and hopefully end the conversation soon. “thank you ma’am. it’s no problem, really. it’s my job.”
“it is your job!” her boss exclaims. “and she’s gonna get right back to it.”
before turning away, she gives isha a smile and an explosive fist bump, smiling at the adorable little cub and then parting. her boss is probably the only downside of her job. words can’t explain how much she hates that guy— even hate isn’t a strong enough word. but she ignores it, pushing her hatred to the back of her mind and attempting to continue with her good day.
until an ear piercing scream is let out at the front of the building, and she’s knocked out before she can turn around to investigate.
——
“shit, how many are still in the building?”
“i dunno, man! there are people fuckin’ everywhere.”
“sevika? can you hear me? … sevika, you need to get out of there now.”
groggily, she peels her heavy eyes open and looks around. the scent of pennies fills her nose, a metallic smell so strong it nearly knocks her out again. before she feels like she can hit the floor, her body jerks forward and she sucks in a gasp before she realizes she’s already laying on the marbled ground.
“sevika…?”
“leave it alone, for gods sake, we need to get people out of here!”
her left arm was laying oddly and uncomfortably behind her, and her whole body was absolutely aching. she leans forward and chokes out some blood before looking at the scene before her. windows shattered and glass glistening on the floor, reflecting the light that shines off of the mini fires lit all around. there are people everywhere— or at least the remains of them. shoes and purses and walkers left behind, the suffocating scent of blood and charred flesh, and the sound of sirens blaring all around her.
she tries to breathe, but it seems impossible. her lungs won’t fill with air no matter how many times she gasps, and that number is burgeoning with the way she’s hyperventilating. hot, salty tears prickle her eyes involuntarily, but she blinks them away, too shocked to feel any emotions yet. she groans into the floor as a sharp pain shoots through her body, and the thrashing caused by that pain only makes her feel worse.
deep red and sticky, her blood pools around her. it leaks out of her left arm, which takes her a while to recognize as hers because of the way her elbow is inverted. she recognizes cries of children and shrieks of pain, which is a harsh contrast of the peaceful atmosphere earlier. how much earlier? how long has she been knocked out? and why is she on the floor?
after an eternity, two men in heavy jackets lift her onto a stretcher. she’s facing up this time, and now she can get a good look at the walls around her. they’re crumbling and splattered with blood, world famous paintings that were once hanging from them are now completely destroyed. either torn up or burnt to a crisp.
as they approach the bottom of the stairs, she makes the tough decision to peek over the stretcher, eyes frantically searching around the spot she was only just standing in. and there she is. that little girl with her bright blue hair, now drenched in red. her lips are still blue from the lollipop, but she’s grown pale and cold. and gone. and sevika couldn’t protect her.
before she closes her eyes, she takes in the scene one more time. piles of hair tangled together and skin melted into the floor. she’s seen some pretty outrageous things as a security guard, but never this. tears pour out of her eyes, the pain in her body making her wish she would’ve been taken out too. by what, she doesn’t know. she isn’t aware of where she is or what’s going on, all she knows is the pain in the left side of her body, and it’s all she’ll feel for the rest of her life.
iii. LIFT UP THE RECEIVER, I’LL MAKE YOU A BELIEVER
“sevika…?”
she blinks awake with a gasp, eyes wide as she takes in her surroundings. children’s toys litter the floor, flyers and posters on the wall, bright white lights beaming down on her— and her physical therapist standing about 2 feet away from her. sevika grumbles in embarrassment, trying to shake off her sleepiness as quickly as possible.
her therapist offers a sympathetic smile before waving her back. sevika curses those waiting room chairs for being so comfortable, or maybe it’s just because she doesn’t get much shut eye at home. her back is so weak and achy that she feels as if she’ll snap under the weight of gravity, but she tries to play it cool in front of her poor doctor. she’s already embarrassed herself enough today, she won’t let herself collapse in pain on the floor of the office.
“nice to see you again, sevika.” her PT smiles, “how’ve you been?”
how has she been? what a long list she could go down. first of all, she’s in so much physical pain she can barely sit upright without passing out. next, she hasn’t been sleeping well due to her night terrors, and she’s waken up soaked in sweat and shivering more often than not. finally, if this list has to end anywhere, she feels jealous. of the happy families she sees every day, of the kids with friends, of the adults with well paying jobs.
“i’ve been… surviving.” she says, purposefully ignoring the plethora of problems she has. this is physical therapy, she reminds herself. not the damn loony bin. get ahold of yourself.
“well, surviving is a great start.” her therapist says with a faux smile. “how has the pain in your shoulders felt since i last saw you? better? worse?” and with that, her voice trails off into the distance with sevika zoning out.
her poor arm gets bent in every single direction you can think of, even ones it’s not supposed to. she bites back her screams of agony and replaces them with little pained growls and whimpers. every time her arm gets bent slightly behind her, a shock of pure pain shoots through her spine and leaves her a shivering mess. the pain within her feels electric, like she’s about to burst into flames or something. it’s the worst thing she’s ever felt.
the tears in her eyes threaten to spill more than ever, but by some miracle she manages to hold them back. until she gets back to her apartment, at least.
as soon as she steps through the front door, she makes a beeline for her bedroom. burying her face in her pillow, she lets it all out. her pained scream is barely muffled by the pillow, but she continues to scream until her throat feels like sandpaper and she realizes that she can’t breathe.
gasping for air, she flops over. her vision is spotted and blurry from a mix of tears, pain, and exhaustion. she stares at her ceiling and cries while she chokes on her own staggered breaths, and she barely registers that someone’s knocking on her door until she hears her name called through it.
“sevika? are you alright, hon?” is followed by another few pounds on her door. she doesn’t want her anyone to call the cops, so she slowly and reluctantly rises from bed, grabbing onto her door frame to steady herself.
it’s her neighbor. curse these walls for being too thin.
sevika groans and rolls her eyes before opening the door, trying her best to plant an indifferent look on her face although it looks more like a pout. the old woman smiles up at her, glad to see that she’s alive after that screaming, but sevika can’t return the smile.
“what’s wrong? did something happen?” her neighbor asks.
“nothing’s wrong.” sevika grumbles, lying through her teeth.
“i know that’s not true honeybun, your eyes are bright red and your cheeks are wet with tears.” her neighbor coos. sevika thinks it’s annoying. she doesn’t want anyone’s sympathy.
“i’m alright, thank you.” she says sternly, although her neighbor keeps pushing.
“may i come in?”
sevika doesn’t answer, instead watching as the old lady walks past her and plants herself on sevika’s couch. “come chat with me.” she invites with a warm, grandmotherly smile.
“i’m not in the mood for chatting.” sevika glares.
“oh, dear,” her neighbor chuckles to herself. “i’m afraid i’m too mature to have you groan at me like a teenager. come sit.”
sevika comes up with another response, but it’s not a very friendly one. the angel on her shoulder tells her not to say it, that the poor woman is just trying to help, that sevika’s already been so much of a bother that she should just shut her mouth. but the devil on her shoulder is fed up right now, and sevika always favors the devil.
“i’m afraid you’re not an ounce as mature as i am. you haven’t been through what i have, and you have no place to tell me what to do in my own fucking apartment.” but sevika does listen to the lady, because she takes a seat right next to her on the couch.
her neighbor ignores her emotional outburst and instead asks “are you hungry?”
“no.” sevika scowls.
“tired?”
“exhausted.”
“sad? lonely? you’d do good with a pet around here. or a few plants. i can grow you a—”
“no thanks. i don’t need a… plant. or an animal.” sevika spits.
“hmm. you live a sad life, don’t you. i wonder what you were like before you came here.” her neighbor sighed.
“i don’t owe you an explanation. that’s private.”
“sevika, you can talk to me if you need to. i’m only one door down the hall, retired, it’s just me and my cats. i’ll always be available if you need something.”
“i don’t need anything.” sevika rolls her eyes. “much less your pity.”
“okay, fine then. if you won’t let me help you, i’ll make someone else help you.”
she reaches into her pocket and digs through her wallet, pulling out a thin paper card and handing it over to sevika. “come with me tomorrow. it’d do you wonders.”
“to… church? no thanks, i’ll pa—”
“okay, great. i’ll see you tomorrow morning then.” her neighbor says, rising and making her way to the door.
“i didn’t say i’d come.”
“i’ll pick you up at eight. better set an alarm.”
“i didn’t agree to co—” and sevika gets cut off by the slam of her own door before she can finish her sentence. whatever, when tomorrow rolls around she’ll just ignore her neighbor, pretending to be asleep or something.
she leans back on her couch, staring at the ceiling and wishing she had a pillow to grip onto, to scream into. another thing to add to the list. she stares at the ceiling instead, balling her hands up into fists as rage turns into sadness and sadness turns back into exhaustion.
it takes everything in her not to crawl to bed, but she stands and walks herself eventually. her shoulders sag and her torso slumps forward as she takes one step at a time, her posture making her about 4 inches shorter than she really is. her bed cradles her weight though, and she sighs into her cold, wet pillow once the tension in her body is released. it’s the best feeling ever. and before she knows it, her eyes are shutting, mind going back to that deep, dark memory.
——
7:30am rolls around, and sevika curses herself for waking up this early. now she’ll have to pretend to be asleep in front of her neighbor, and she’s not a good actress. she rolls out of bed, dragging herself to the bathroom to get her day started. she tries to avoid the mirror, but it’s impossible.
she stares at herself for a while, the uncomfortable feeling of someone else looking back at her creeps up on her. she doesn’t look like herself, she doesn’t look like sevika. she looks sick, tired, hurt, starving. the thought of food makes her stomach twist, she hasn’t eaten anything real in over a full day. maybe she should go easy on her neighbor and ask for a home-cooked meal. maybe.
her hair is fluffy and frayed at the ends, and her roots feel eternally greasy. her depression is so bad, she either showers daily in an attempt to scrub the hallucinated blood off, or she won’t shower for weeks. it’s like she can never win the battle.
a knock at the door disrupts her thoughts. “sevika?”
a groan involuntarily escapes her as she silently opens the bathroom door and creeps out into the living room. “sevika, wake up, it’s almost eight.”
she freezes, praying that her movements on top of her creaky floorboards go unobserved.
“sevika, dear, i can hear you on the other side of the door. you’re not fooling anyone.”
fuck. she’s not getting out of this, is she.
with another groan, she opens the door and sighs. the old lady smiles up at her, dressed in some sort of church attire. “grab a coat,” she says. “it’s chilly out.”
what else does sevika have to do, other than follow the orders? she’s trapped now. following this sweet old woman to church on a sunday. something she never thought she’d do. but she yanks a jacket over her shoulders and shoves her shoes on, not bothering to lock the door behind her. she claims she has nothing to lose in there, but that’s just because she lost her own apartment key a while ago.
she almost smiles when her neighbor shoves her into her car. almost. but she’s not exactly capable of that anymore. it’s so luxurious. she has a heater and a radio and a seat. it’s almost like she’s in a spaceship, marveling at all of these features that would make her life so much easier.
her excitement reaches it’s end as they pull into the parking lot of the building, and that pit in her stomach returns as she climbs out of the small car. if her legs worked a fraction of how well they used to, she’d run so far away from this place.
everything about it is repelling her. the building is huge, bright, colorful, everything she’s seen in her recurring nightmares. it smells like dust and coffee, children’s art line the walls, along with some more formal paintings and portraits. the ceiling seems to be made of glass— the kind that shatters easily and can slice your hands up.
the windows are colored with stained glass that portray different scenes. people made of bright colors dance and pose and feast all around them, their dazzling figures being illuminated by the white sunlight shining through the windows. it’s the kind of beauty she was attracted to years ago, the kind that nearly got her killed.
“sevika, come sit with me.” her neighbor says, derailing her train of thought. she practically has to drag sevika over to the pews as she stares at the buildings interior, feelings of fear and comfort flooding through her veins and stunning her.
she’s too busy taking in her surroundings to realize that the service has started, and she’s quickly reminded of how much she hates places like this. a large, beautiful room full of people. a community. something bad could happen at any moment, and she’d be in no shape to help any of them.
small droplets of blood fill her mouth one at a time as she anxiously chews on her bottom lip. she knows it’s a bad habit, but it’s oddly comforting. the metallic taste is just a reminder that she’s still alive, that the blood is still inside of her body instead of splattered across the floor. gross, ugh, don’t think of that.
in an attempt to tune out the preacher’s sermon, she decides to study the people around her. it’s a harsh reminder of past events, she swears she can almost recognize the faces of the dead bodies in them. all ages, young and old. parents cradling their newborn babies, seniors admiring their lover’s white hair, kids swinging their feet out in front of them in an attempt to stay occupied.
she tries to push these morbid thoughts away from her brain, but it’s not easy. it’s her minds default, it’s why she hasn’t stepped foot in any sort of large building in years. by some miracle, she’s survived a bombing once, how on earth could she do it again?
but to her luck, the ceremony is over before she knows it, and she’s about to escape before her neighbor yanks her back by the collar of her jacket. she pouts, rolls her eyes, and turns around to face her.
“meet my neighbor, sevika. this is her first time joining us.”
“nice to meet you, sevika.” and the man sticks his arm out to sevika, awaiting a returned hand shake. she doesn’t return it though, and she doesn’t even look at him. instead she just stares at the floor and says “yeah… thanks…”
her neighbor nudges her shoulder for being rude, but she doesn’t owe anyone anything. she doesn’t know if the man who tried to shake her hand is same guy who’s been blabbering on this whole time, but if it is, she doesn’t want anything to do with him.
“sevika, what the hell was that? i didn’t bring you here to be rude, i brought you here to learn something.”
sevika scoffs with a fake laugh, “i don’t need you to parent me.”
“then stop acting like a kid, let’s go meet more people.”
how was she gonna get out of this? oh well, in only a few hours she’ll be home again, resting and recharging in bed under the covers. she follows behind her neighbor like a lost puppy, not even looking in front of her, just staring down and making sure that she’s following the correct pair of shoes.
you greet sevika’s neighbor warmly, she’s a familiar face you’re always glad to see. sevika’s figure almost startles you when you peek up, almost. but you get yourself under control, asking the sweet older woman “who’s this?”
“this is sevika, my neighbor. it’s her first time joining us today.”
“oh! nice to meet you, sevika.” you smile, keeping your hands to yourself. sevika doesn’t know what to think of you, you’re so… different from everyone else here. you’re not dressed like everyone else, you look more like sevika than you do the others. but she wouldn’t expect someone like you to work at a church, would she? god, how the world has changed.
“nice to meet you.” she says, not bothering to attempt a weak smile, but giving a cordial nod in your direction anyways.
“we hope to see you around here soon. if you need anything, you know where to find me. although, you look like you’re in good hands.” you offer, giving sevika’s neighbor a friendly pat on the shoulder. sevika watches you walk off, wishing she could dissect you a little more. but she doesn’t hesitate to exit the building when her neighbor declares that it’s time to leave.
“are you hungry?” her neighbor asks once they’re in the car.
sevika’s mouth speaks before she can stop herself, “yes. starving.”
“good, you’ll come over for brunch. that wasn’t a question, by the way.” she smiles.
sevika rolls her eyes and almost smiles back. almost. but the ache in her lower back is making it hard to be happy in this moment.
her neighbor’s apartment is quite grandmotherly, to put it nicely. she has two cats— a black ball of fluff named “fluffy” and a skinny, all white cat named “snowy”, both of which were named by her grandchildren. there are plants and paintings and handmade quilts littering her place, every one of them having a story behind it. it’s cute, sure, but a little bit too maximalist for sevika’s enjoyment. at least she has furniture. good quality furniture.
a steaming teacup is placed in front of her seat at the counter, and both of the cats jump up to check it out. in all honesty, sevika thinks it’s kinda gross to live with animals. she doesn’t know where the hell those cats paws have been, and if it were up to her they wouldn’t be on the kitchen counter.
the cats waddle over to sevika, getting too close to comfort in an attempt to investigate the strange woman sitting at their counter. once she’s deemed safe, they raise their backs and point their tails up as if to ask for pets, but sevika scowls and awkwardly scoots away from the strange animals.
“not a cat person?” her neighbor laughs.
“no… not an animal person in general, really.”
“they’re sweet. give ‘em a pet.”
“no thanks…”
“fine. but you better eat up before they eat it for you.” her neighbor says, shoving a tall stack of pancakes in front of sevika. it’s a heavenly sight, and she almost feels bad for eating it instead of staring at the masterpiece for a while longer.
but that hungry pit in her stomach only grows and shoves itself against her stomach, so she has no choice to dig in. not that she’s complaining, and they taste absolutely divine. she grows uncomfortable again, last time she felt divine was the worst day of her life. it’s almost like a curse— one that never lets her feel true enjoyment.
fluffy and snowy meow loudly at her neighbor for food too, so she grabs a small dish and starts plopping some wet food onto it. again, sevika can’t fathom why someone would do that. on the counter? where she’s eating? but it’s not her apartment, so she keeps her mouth full of pancakes to stop the complaints.
she can’t wait to get home. checking the time, she realizes that it’s now afternoon. this has been the most eventful day she’s lived through in a while, and that triggers her anxiety to tone everything down. she needs a drink and a nap, so she thanks her neighbor and heads one door up the hall to her own apartment.
her door is unlocked, just how she left it, and she realizes that the only valuable thing in her apartment might be her liquor cabinet. maybe she should get a lock after all. add that to the list.
she guzzles down some whiskey directly from the bottle before stopping to take a breath. with how much she’s been drinking lately, she barely gets drunk anymore. it’s not fair, she might just have to find something stronger. jesus christ, i’m gonna drink myself to death. before she has a chance to bury herself back in bed, her phone rings. how strange, she hasn’t gotten a call in years. but what choice does she have, other than to lift up the receiver?
“yes?” she groans.
“hello,” you greet, a bit disturbed that someone would answer the phone with just ‘yes?’ “is this sevika?”
“who are you?”
“i’m from the church, we met earlier.”
“oh… okay… so…?”
“so, i wanted to tell you that i meant it when i said i hope you join us again. it was nice to see you, we rarely get any newcomers in this small town but… i can tell that you’re different.”
“okay…” sevika says. there is no way she’s stepping foot in that building again. jesus christ himself could not drag her in there.
“so… you’ll come?”
“i still need to be convinced.”
“easy. but i’ll need you to show up for that.”
“maybe.” she says, and you feel like you can hear a hint of promise in her voice.
“okay, well, have a good rest of your day. i’ll see you soon. maybe.” you say, about to hang up.
“how did you get my number?” she questions.
“helen gave it to me.”
“…who?”
“your neighbor? helen?”
“oh… right.” how could she not know her own neighbor’s name?
“sevika, don’t worry.” you assure her. “i’ll help you believe.” and the line goes quiet.
iv. I WILL DELIVER, YOU KNOW I’M A FORGIVER
that day was the first time you saw sevika, and you wish you could live in that moment forever. she was so soft and so sharp at the same time, and it was surprisingly harmonious. her physical features were striking, she looked almost… scary. but that scariness was easily cancelled out by her gentleness.
her cheeks were thin and sunken, but her chin effortlessly faded into the smooth skin of her neck. her nose stuck straight out of her head, but there was a slight curve to it that made you wanna run a gentle fingertip over it. her eyes were bright and silver, but they were so big and so round. she was tall, sticking up higher than anyone else in the room, but her hips and thighs were so plush and thick, she took up just the right amount of space.
she was just plain gorgeous. usually you’d scold yourself for thinking about another woman this way, but you’d been slowly coming to terms with your sexuality. as long as you don’t act on it.
from the moment you laid eyes on her, you knew you had to guide her. it was like some sort of fate or destiny. here’s this immaculate woman showing up in front of you in desperate need of help, your help specifically. it was a perfect mission, you’d do anything in her power to earn her trust and to help her feel that faith.
by some miracle, she answered the phone when you rang. judging by her previous attitude, you almost expected her to storm back down to the church and smack you across the face. your conversation was unproductive, sure, but it was a good start. well, if she decides to show up, that is. you don’t doubt her, if anything you can just ask her neighbor to force her to tag along again.
the mental image of her floats around in your head all day. what are you gonna do when she does show up? give her some sort of speech? she’ll probably just tune you out like she does to the rest of the world. you wonder why she acts the way she does, there’s no way anybody with a normal life could act this guarded. you just hope she opens up eventually, you’d kill to get to know her.
sevika’s not amused. she doesn’t want anyone’s help, or to pretend to have faith in something that’s all just make believe. really, the only thing she wants is some peace and quiet, and for the pain in her shoulders to lessen. before returning to her den, she sluggishly trudges to the kitchen cupboards, yanking them open in search of some painkillers. to her luck, there are two small pills left, which she quickly downs. she chooses water over whiskey this time, shockingly, because she’s a little bit frightened by drinking herself to death. which is strange, and she wonders why she values her life so much.
no matter what you do, you can’t get this woman off of your mind. something about her makes you feel different than how other people make you feel, but you can’t tell what it is or why. you need a plan. you need to talk to her again. or at least some confidence would be handy. but instead of dwelling on it, you decide to go for a walk.
the walk doesn’t really work though, it actually does the opposite of clearing your mind. you have nothing to focus on, no work to do, so you just think. your mind runs wild the whole time. you’re so intrigued, so excited yet nervous, you feel like it’s almost a craving. almost, because you’re not really sure what a craving is. not until you meet her, at least.
after swallowing her pain meds, sevika crawls back into bed, the heavy feeling of anxiety that settled over her chest slowly but surely fades, and she’s eased into a light afternoon nap. the plain white walls of her room offer some familiar comfort, but the more she looks at them, the more she’s reminded of the hospital. fuck, maybe she should try to decorate the place. and she really does need to go shopping later.
——
she wakes up nearly three hours later feeling more exhausted than before she slept. at least she feels a bit more calm, but the looming feeling of her responsibilities made her groan. another reason why she doesn’t want pets: it’s another mouth to feed, to walk, clean up after, bathe, spend time with. she can barely do those things for herself, how on earth could she do it for something else?
rather than pouting about her responsibilities, she makes the tough decision to get out of bed and get started with her day. get started meaning that it’s almost 6:00pm and she’s only just now attempting to complete her to-do list. and so what? she lives on her own terms. she doesn’t bother brushing her messy hair after her nap, even less to keep it out of her face with a little half ponytail. it never works anyways, the wind whips it all around you until it sticks to the sides of your face with humidity.
so, that’s it then, and she shoves her shoes and her coat on and leaves. the door stays unlocked, of course, and she makes her way down the stairwell and out of the building. there’s a small grocery store on her block which is conveniently located next to a liquor store. if she has the funds after buying her necessities, she’ll stop in there for a treat. actually, she’ll probably stop in there anyways, but she likes to think that she still has some self control left when it comes to drinking.
does she remember what she needed to buy? no. and did she bother to write down her mental shopping list as it came to her? nope! but it’ll come to her. hopefully. she spends the whole walk there trying to focus on what she needs to spend her money on and what she wants to spend her money on. she needs more painkillers, more snacks, some sort of decoration for her place, and… was there something else?
she crosses into the store and she’s immediately greeted by the sound of loud pop music buzzing through the speakers. great, so she’s overstimulated already. she’ll make it quick, she decides, it’s not like she wanted to be here in the first place.
sauntering down the aisles, she picks up everything she needs. at least, everything she remembers that she needs. she grabs a large bottle of extra strength ibuprofen, more bread and butter, microwave meals, milk and eggs, and what else? before she can think of another thing to add, she decides to just leave. if she thinks of anything else, she can always just come back later.
her shoulders sag under the weight of her basket, full of stuff that’ll probably just rot in her fridge. as she approaches the register, she sighs as the man behind it attempts to strike up a conversation with her. she’s not interested, she never has been, and she has no clue why he insists on chatting with her every time she’s there.
she doesn’t respond to the man the entire time she’s there, just staring daggers past him. she doesn’t even muster out a “good evening” or “goodnight”. i mean jesus, even a “fuck you” might’ve been polite. it’s not like she cares.
but she does stop by the liquor store on the way home, as we knew she would. she decides to treat herself, picking up not only one, but two bottles off of the shelf. whiskey and vodka, not cheap but it does the job. the money will come back around anyways. the man behind the counter, this time stoned out of his mind, asks her what she’s gonna do with the alcohol.
“what am i gonna do with it?” she repeats, obviously annoyed and confused. “what the fuck do you think?”
“mannnn, i bet you could make a hundred bottles of homemade mouthwash with this stuff. fucking awesome.”
sevika rolls her eyes and collects the large glass bottles, shoving them into her bag as gently as she can. she has no idea why everyone’s so interested in talking with her tonight, it’s like she’s wearing a glowing neon sign above her head that says “TALK TO ME!”
does she look approachable? happy? friendly? welcoming? no, obviously not. she must not be part of this inside joke the world is playing on her tonight.
so you’re surprised to see sevika when you’re out for your second walk of the night. pacing around in your own house wasn’t working, and all you wanted was some fresh air. well, maybe not fresh, but the temperature definitely did shock you. you almost walked right past her until you recognized her statuesque figure. she was across the parking lot, rolling her eyes and shoving the door to the liquor shop open as she stepped back outside.
huh. sevika at a liquor shop. not necessarily unusual for a person, but forbidden for you. you wonder if this is a ritual for her, if she’s gonna go home and get drunk or something, or maybe if she’s gonna split the bottle with some friends. does she even have friends?
you turn around and head in the same direction she does, hoping your paths cross before her quick, long strides can leave you behind. and you eventually catch up to her, pretending you had no idea you’d run into her, you greet her with a “oh, sevika! hey, i didn’t expect to see you here.” except, you did expect to see her here. you already spied her storming out of the liquor store. ugh, you’re such a bad liar.
“oh… hi.” she mumbles, a little disturbed by your sudden appearance, and already burnt out from the two people who’ve made small talk with her in the past hour. while you stand in front of her, she raises her eyebrow slightly as if to signal that she’s waiting for you to say something before she walks away.
“i’ll see you next week, yeah?” you remind her, not really sure of what to say. partly because the meeting is so sudden, and partly because this woman is breathtaking.
“yeah, maybe.” she agrees halfheartedly.
“i don’t want your ‘maybe’s sevika. i want you to say yes to me.” you challenge, huffing at her indecisiveness. “if you want me to help you, i need a yes.”
“help me with what?” she asks, pretending to be shocked and offended at your words. you stutter, staring up at her with a sorry look in your eyes.
“oh, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean—”
“i’m just fucking with you.” she says, chuckling to herself and offering a small smile. and as if her face couldn’t get any more perfect, you notice a small gap between two of her top teeth. she’s so beautiful you feel like you’re gonna melt, even in this chilly autumn weather.
before you think about what you’re saying next, you blurt out a “tomorrow? can i see you tomorrow?”
she raises her eyebrows at your bluntness, the suggestion seems to come out of nowhere. but what else does she have to do? and she already feels bad for fucking with you all of the time, shouldn’t she just give in and attend whatever stupid meeting you have planned for her?
“i— i guess, yeah.”
“you guess?” you tease. “or you will show up?”
“i will. i’ll see you tomorrow.” she admits with a huff.
“good, i’ll see you tomorrow too then.” you say, and you offer her a small wave before walking past her and continuing with your walk. after seeing her, your mind automatically feels so much clearer considering the fact that she was the one occupying all of your thoughts.
sevika stands frozen in place as you walk away, holding her bag in her hand as she reflects on what she just agreed to. why the fuck would she say yes to that? she doesn’t believe in any of your religious bullshit, and she doesn’t care to try. but it’s too late, she’ll just have to let you down easy when tomorrow comes.
but when tomorrow does come, she decides to go a little bit easier on herself. it’s not like you’re trying to annoy her with all of your beliefs and jargon and whatnot, and she can tell that this actually does mean a lot to you. plus, she’s in a good mood after remembering that she bought two new bottles of alcohol. she even ate a little bit last night and managed to keep it all down, which is a rare occurrence for her. so yeah, it might be a good day.
the sun peeks out just a tiny bit from behind the clouds as she walks herself back to the church, which offers a nice, although minuscule, bit of warmth. you’re already there by the time she arrives, and you greet her with a warm smile and invite her down the long hallway to your ‘office’. it’s not technically a real office since you don’t do too much work other than filing papers and planning events, you just begged them to give you a room that you could sit alone in sometimes.
you don’t have any sort of plan on how you’re gonna convert sevika, or how to at least help her fix up her life a little bit, but you do wanna get to know her. so you start with that. you ask her where she’s from and if she’s lived here her whole life, and you’re surprised to learn that she used to work in new york. all the way across the country.
she hesitates to tell you why she left though, saying she’d rather save it for a later session when she gets more comfortable. which she regrets almost instantly, because she just solidified herself another few meetings like these. she tells you more, like how she was always close with her mother until she passed when sevika was only ten. and how she definitelty inherited some anger from her dad, even though she never liked him.
her childhood was interesting. to you at least. she was just stable enough to keep herself afloat, but unstable enough for her to be left with some sort of trauma. she moved out as soon as she reached eighteen and never looked back. she scoured for jobs that would be good for someone like her, someone broken but strong. resilient, you call it.
the two of you chat for nearly three hours, you asking questions after question and her answering nearly all of them. but the one question that you’re too scared to ask is this: what happened that turned her into… this? she said it had something to do with her job, something that just completely broke her and left her unable to snap back. but what was it? how bad could it have been? what job did she have? was it her fault? but you did agree to letting her tell you on her own terms, so you’ll just have to wait until she’s ready.
eventually your time is up, and you walk sevika back out of the double doors of the small building. she flashes you a small smile, one that you’re already obsessed with, and she turns to leave.
“wait.” you call after her, although she’s only about six feet away from you. “you don’t have a car?”
“no.”
“how did you get here?”
“i… walked…” she says, waiting for you to get to your point.
“all this way?”
“it’s only about a block and a half.”
“but— well…” now you feel bad. you didn’t know that you were forcing her to exercise her exhausted joints and muscles in this weather. sure, maybe she doesn’t mind, but if you were her you’d probably throw a tantrum. “do you want me to drive you?” you ask.
“sure, if you really want to.”
“of course i want to.” you say, and you practically drag her off of the sidewalk and shove her into the passenger side of your car. the drive is short, her building really is just about a block and a half away.
“i’ll see you next week.” you say.
“yeah, see you then.” she responds, and for once it doesn’t feel forced or awkward.
“and tell helen i say hi if you see her. assuming you know who she is?” you giggle.
“yes, i know my own neighbor.” she says, rolling her eyes and chuckling.
“just making sure…” you tease.
sevika just laughs and waves you goodbye through your front window, disappearing into the building and up the stairs. you don’t even register it— to busy with staring at her back— but eventually it hits you that she laughed. this mysterious, guarded woman laughed at something you said. and she spent the last three hours opening up to you about her life. and for the first time in quite a while, you feel like you’re finally good at your job.
——
sevika’s been following through on her promise, meeting you for exactly four weeks now. twenty eight days. you started out with just seeing her twice a week, then every other day, and now you see each other daily. she opened up to you about how much she hates the church setting, how it activates her fight or flight response and brings up old memories, so you switched to taking her to a small local cafe instead.
it’s great. you get to have real coffee, not the burnt stuff from the coffee pot in the church’s kitchen. you’ve also been forcing sevika to eat after learning that it’s been a struggle for her. nothing big, but you make sure she always has at least a muffin or a croissant in her stomach. you pick her up and driving her there too, which is good for her because she can finally relax instead of being worn out from walking everywhere.
she’s taken a liking to you, every morning she’s glad she wakes up because she knows she can see you again. it’s such a strange feeling, but she enjoys it. opening up to you wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be either. you listen so attentively, and you’re always careful to ask appropriate questions and give her a break without her even having to ask for one.
it’s never been easy for her to talk about what happened in her past, and she wishes she had the ability to forget about it completely. but it’s easier with you. every time her eyes grow wide and teary as she pictures the bodies, you change the topic and point at a cute dog outside of the window. or when she gets choked up, stumbling over her words because the brutality of the situation is just too much for her, you let her take her time.
the most memorable moment for her was when she told you about that kid with the blue hair. everything else, sevika managed to stay under control about. sure, the mangled body parts and the melted flesh was bad, but that fucking kid. her lips were still blue. she’d been so alive only moments earlier, smiling as sevika gave her a fist bump and held her in her arms, and she was gone just like that.
when she told you, she couldn’t help but break down in heavy sobs. you could feel your heart shatter at this— the story and sevika’s reaction to it. you scrambled from your side of the booth to hers, scooting in next to her and wrapping her up in a hug as she cried. to your surprise, she hugged you back. she hooked her chin over your shoulder, grabbed you tightly in her strong arms, and just let herself go.
it’s the most tranquility she’s ever felt, and it put all of her past therapists to shame. immediately after that day, the two of you were bonded. you’d do anything for her. be a shoulder to cry on, drive her to and from her various doctors appointments, and make sure she’s eating.
she’s started to trust you, and she agreed to going back to the church with you a few times a week. instead of taking your usual spot with the rest of the staff and speakers, you sit with her every time. sevika on your left, her neighbor on your right.
today you’re feeling particularly bold for some reason, you suspect it might be because of your friendship with sevika, but this feels different. well, you know how it feels, but you’re scared to admit it. although you’ll probably be fine, you’re hesitant to say it to yourself out of the fear that you’ll be thrown out of the church. yes, you like sevika, and sure, she is a beautiful woman. but you just can’t bring yourself to say it. to say that you have a real crush on her. to admit that you want her.
so instead of saying anything, you use your actions instead. glancing over both of your shoulders, you make sure that nobody important is looking in your direction before you snake your hand forward and wrap your hand around sevika’s. this action is the farthest you’ve ever gone with anyone, and your cheeks are practically on fire with how hard you’re blushing. you wouldn’t be surprised if the whole building could hear your heartbeat right now.
sevika adjusts her fingers so that she’s gripping your hand firmly, and you feel so… dirty, almost. you know that this is nothing, but you’re scared and ashamed of what other people might think. but although it initially feels wrong, you settle down when you realize that nobody’s looking— even more that nobody cares— and it feels so right. her hands are surprisingly warm and soft, they feel so welcoming and familiar against yours.
maybe, just maybe, you’ll hold her hand more often. but for now, this is just a one-time occurrence.
she notices the panicked look in your eyes as you stare straight ahead. she tries to nudge you gently, but you’re in such a deep stupor that you don’t notice it.
“hey.” she whispers, elbowing you a bit harder than last time. “you okay?”
you realize now that she’s trying to talk to you, so you just squeeze her hand and give her a small nod, blinking your eyes a few times and trying to snap back into reality. once the ceremony is over, you stand and walk sevika and her neighbor to the door quickly.
“are you sure you’re alright?” she asks again.
“yeah, it’s nothing.”
“you know that… this works both ways, right?” she says, gesturing between both of your bodies. “if you need someone to talk to, i can listen.”
“i know, thank you.” you start. “but it’s not like that. it’s nothing… bad. i think? but i’m fine. or— i will be fine.” you say, stumbling over your words incredibly hard.
“you don’t seem fine to me.” she retorts.
“i am, thank you though. get home safely.” you choke out, missing a crucial part to your signature goodbye’s.
“…see you tomorrow?” she asks.
“oh, yes! see you tomorrow, i knew i was forgetting something.”
sevika flicks you on the forehead, before turning to leave. “get some rest, then.”
“i will.” you laugh, although it’s forced.
as soon as her and her neighbor are out of sight, you turn around and make a beeline for your office at the end of the hall. your eyes are glued to the floor, purposefully ignoring anyone’s gaze in case they try to chat with you.
the door clicks locked behind you, and you slump down in our office chair. with your head in your hands, you start to cry. the anxiety in your chest is just too much to handle, and you’re so upset with yourself. you’re upset because it felt so good to be that close to her, and you let yourself indulge in something you know you’ll never get to have. you allowed yourself to catch feelings, but you know you can’t go any further. you’ll have to stick with just thinking she’s pretty and sweet and yours, and watch her fall in love with another woman.
worst of all, she’ll probably fall in love with a woman who’s the total opposite of you. someone who’s experienced and not awkward and cool. and not you. and this really hurts to realize.
what are you supposed to do now? now that you’ve admitted how you feel to yourself, what else is there to do? you can’t ask her out on a date, that would be against everything your community believes in. but are you really supposed to just sit here and play along? it’s not fair. your adrenaline is so high right now that all you really want to do is run.
and that's just what you do. you don't even bother to use the exit door down the hallway, you just peel your window open and hop out of it. tears prickle your eyes and the frosty air nips at your skin, but it helps even out your overheating temperature. you’ve walked this route a millions times already, it’s nothing different but the gentle scenery offers a nice place to think.
you think about all of the sweet moments you’ve shared together, specifically about how much it means to you. you’ve never really had a friend like this before. sure, you’re convivial, but having someone like this was so different. she was yours. and you’d gladly be hers if she asked you to, but would she ask you to? would she ever ask someone like you to be hers?
but you also think about how much your religion means to you. you’ve been part of this for so long, working harder to have a strong sense of faith every single day. if you get with sevika, they could cut you off in an instant, and it would’ve all been for nothing. your reputation would be ruined, and if you’d ever wanna start over with another church, you’d have to leave this small town. leave your home.
it’s just not fair. why did god make you this way? for everyone else, falling in love with a man is no problem. they were made the right way, or at least know how to ignore their true feeling really well. was there some sort of secret lesson that you missed? that everyone is in on besides you?
once you get dizzy and out of breath, you find a stump to sit on and reflect. your shoes kick at the dirt underneath you, brain fuzzy as you try to decide on what to do. little bugs crawl around on the ground beneath you, each one of them having a family and a home. i wish i could have a family, you think. you can hear rain pattering on the leaves of the trees above you, but you stay dry. well, as dry as you possibly can be living this close to the ocean.
you don’t even realize how long you’ve been sitting here lost in your thoughts before the sky turns a lovely light shade of orange, and you realize you’d better leave now if you wanna get back before dark. the only thing on your mind as always is sevika.
sevika has been thinking about you all night too, wondering if you’re okay after the way you acted. she won’t push, she wants to give you time to open up to her the same way you did, but she just worries. and she misses the warmth of your hand in hers, although she could tell you were nervous. in her opinion, it was cute. she admires how gentle you are, how you always make sure others are alright before making sure you are alright. but whatever it is, she doesn’t doubt that you’ll be fine.
leaving your window open was a stupid idea, now your entire office is cold and there’s a puddle of rainwater leaking down the bottom of the window and onto the floor. but you’ve made up your mind. you need to call her. you know that she’s infinitely more experienced with these feelings than you are, so she’ll be able to help you, even if those feelings are about her.
she’s about to go to bed early when her phone rings again. she knows it’s you before she even picks up— you’re the only one with her number.
“yes?”
“…sevika.” you sob out, the small whimper of her name followed by sniffles and cries.
“holy shit, are you okay?” she asks frantically, scared that maybe you’re hurt or something.
“well… physically yes. but i just… miss you. i need to talk to you in person.”
“okay, yeah. i’m on my way.” she says, and she practically flies out of her building and down the street to get to you. it’s not late, but the sky is already pitch black due to how early the sun sets. you meet her at the door again when she arrives, and the sight of her instantly calms your nerves. she looks so worried, it makes your heart twist. you’re so in love and it’s all her fault.
she doesn’t hesitate to wrap you up in her arms as you sob into her shoulder, and this gesture only makes you sob harder. because you’re so in love and you think you know which side you’re choosing. and it breaks your heart.
“what’s going on?” she asks, and you realize you’re still standing in the doorway.
“come inside, i’ll explain.”
“okay…” she whispers. “did something happen?”
“i have a question.”
“of course. ask me anything.”
“do you ever…” you trail off, trying to find the right words. “feel like… like you can’t live without someone? and you’d give up anything to be with them?”
“yeah, i guess i’ve felt that way before.” she admits quizzically.
“what’s it called?” you ask, although you already know the answer.
“love?” she guesses.
“sevika, can i tell you something?”
“yeah, go ahead.” she says, worried that maybe you’re about to admit to killing someone.
“i think…” you start, but you get interrupted by tears dripping past your eyes and down your cheeks.
“spit it out,” she prompts. “you can trust me.”
“i think i’m in love with you.” you blurt out, biting the bullet.
“oh…” she says, and she almost steps away from you before she realizes that you’re crying again. so she wraps you in another hug and rubs your back. you grip onto her so hard you can barely breathe, and you cry in her arms for so long that you’re brought to your knees. sevika holds you even after you fall the the floor, keeling before you as your knees give out.
she’s in love with you too, but she didn’t wanna say anything in case it made you uncomfortable. plus, she’s not really into corruption or anything, so she decided to just respect your boundaries. but eventually her joints grew sore of sitting on the floor, so she rose, holding your face in her hands and wiping up all of your tears as they fall.
v. REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
every little thing about her attracted you. sevika was a lost soul, mysterious above all. a woman who needed help and direction but was so strong, you swore she could hold the whole world on her shoulders, no matter how much she’d whine about the pain. she complains about people— how there are too many of them and how they’re all stupid— but she’d give her life in a heartbeat to save them.
you couldn’t crack her, no matter how hard you tried.
she looked down at you with her silver eyes sparkling in the candlelight, her hair falling over her face in a silky curtain. you gasped as her thick hands took their place on either side of your head, each one cupping your cheeks so tenderly although they have a rough exterior. you always knew she was capable of being gentle.
you looked up at her from your position on your knees, her torso looking impossibly longer than usual. something comes over you, something that warms up your stomach until you feel so dizzy you feel the need to reach for something to steady yourself. unaware of just how much trouble this would get you in, you end up grabbing for her upper thighs. they’re so thick that your hands are almost completely flat, but they’re sturdy. perfect for grabbing onto.
she chuckles at your flushed state, huffing out an amused “it’s alright, you can touch me if you want. you won’t burst into flames.”
those two sentences make your cheeks heat up involuntarily. you know what she’s implying, and it makes you feel strangely electric. if you don’t burst into flames by this act of sinning, you’ll burst into flames due to how flustered you are. she does something to you that feels so enchanting, like some sort of spell she’s casted. you’ve been frozen in place for so long that you hardly register the soft caress of her thumbs against the apples of your cheeks. if she were medusa, you’d get turned to stone in an instant.
“sevika, what are you— we should—”
“what are you thinking about right now?” she asks, tauntingly putting an end to your stuttering mess of a sentence.
“uh— medusa. and you. you remind me of her.” you choke out, reaching up and gripping onto her biceps before hauling yourself up.
“how so?”
“i always feel like you put me under some kind of spell. like when i’m with you i’m frozen in place. in a good way.” you respond, your breath tickling her face as you gaze up at her from a closer distance this time.
most of your dizziness has relented, and now you sense something softer in the way sevika gazes at you. like she’s pleading for something she doesn’t know how to ask for. she stammers back, almost hitting the wall, and you grow concerned. the roles have shifted. little do you know, you’re in power now. she feels… weak. and needy. something tingly settles in her stomach, she can’t decipher whether it’s anxiety or horniness.
“sevika?” you ask with concern, slowly walking over to where she’s pressed against the wall. her chest heaves as she breathes deeply, and she shivers when you reach out to grab her hand. “are you feeling alright?”
“i don’t think i can do this anymore.” she confesses, her big, silver eyes growing glossy with tears. “i’m— i can’t do this to you.”
“what are you talking about?” you attempt to soothe, worried that maybe she’s suddenly gotten possessed or something.
“you belong here, sevika. you’re not doing anything wrong. if anything, it’s me who should back off right now.”
“it’s not about that.” she sighs, unable to meet your gaze, her eyes instead settling for your lips. a sight she’s seen many times before in her most erotic fantasies.
“what are you feeling right now?” you ask, your therapist persona settling over you in case she’s about to reveal more of her past trauma.
“i… i can’t say it.” she whispers, now solely focused on the curve of your lips and how they’re still shining from the last time your tongue trailed over them.
“you can trust me.” you whisper back. “always.”
sevika studies your words in her mind, hoping that you’d still mean them if you could see the thoughts running wild in her mind right now. she inches closer to you and her nose almost brushes yours. the tension in the room makes her squirm, thighs pressing together in an attempt to soothe the ache between them. somehow, in some strange way, this feels better than sex. better than anything she’s ever smoked, any liquid she could get drunk on.
you are her intoxicant. her stronger substance. her higher power. her breath of fresh air in this humid town. you are what she’s been searching for.
before she makes another move, she pauses. you’re looking at her with such concern, such love, her heart feels like it’s gonna burst. she theorizes that you’re aware of exactly what she’s thinking, but she has no way to know. sevika wonders how you’d react if she leaned forward and kissed you right now.
you have a sneaking suspicion that she’s thinking of something… lustful right now. it shows in her eyes. wide with pupils big and blown out, and the silver in them is practically glittering. she looks pretty, you think, and soft. and although it’s against almost everything you believe in, you probably wouldn’t mind if she leaned in right now and just—
her lips come crashing against yours, a beautiful harmony of carnal aggression and tender care. gravity suddenly feels about twenty times stronger, and you near collapse in sevika’s strong arms. instead of that, you regain your balance after stumbling and back her against the wall. her back hits it with a thud, and she whimpers into your mouth. she whimpers.
it’s as if everything you’ve ever believed in suddenly floods out of your mind. you don’t care which god sees you kissing another woman with such animal desire. somehow it doesn’t matter to you anymore. all that matters is sevika. her safety, her trust, her pleasure.
for once, you allow yourself to feel this way. although it feels wrong, it’s so freeing. you’re an adult for god’s sake, and you’ve missed out on so much due to the strict rules of the church. you want this, you deserve this. after all, it is technically your job to guide sevika, to make her feel good. how is this any different?
as her lips part, you take the chance to slide your tongue over hers. just a gentle brush, but the warm heat of her mouth drives you crazy. her hands claw at your hips, pulling you closer until there’s no gap between the pair of you. this level of closeness isn’t something you’re used to, but fuck, it feels so right.
you can feel the way her thighs tighten when she squirms and clenches them together, feel her own tits rub against yours through your clothes. the intimacy of the moment almost feels awkward, especially because it’s completely silent other than the sounds of your lips smacking together. but before you can dwell on the embarrassment crashing over you, sevika grounds you by moaning your name into your mouth.
as if you weren’t already turned on, this flips a switch and activates something in you that’s a hundred times stronger. both of you pant when you pull back, staring into the silver pools of sevika’s irises. you need her. now. in every way possible.
“take your clothes off.” you demand. sevika nods momentarily, but she hesitates.
“are you sure? we don’t need to— if you’re not comfortable with it that’s fi—”
“now, sevika.” you huff at her attempt to be gentlemanly, but you know she’s craving this as much as you are.
without another word, she strips herself of her shirt, leaving her in just a black sports bra and jeans. you halt your own undressing to stare at her. and god. she’s fucking perfect. her abdomen carries the remnants of what you assume used to be a thick six pack of abs. and although you can’t exactly see them yet, her tits are wide and heavy looking, her ribs poking out slightly under them.
something that you didn’t expect to turn you on is her happy trail. she’s got a thick line of dark, coarse hair running from her belly button all the way down to—
her pants drop to the floor as you continue to stare at her, and your eyes trail lower and lower until they reach the ground. her thighs look impossibly thicker, and you’re surprised about how much she complains about her body. she looks so strong, like nothing could ever hurt her. and as for being insecure? impossible for someone who looks as good as she does. you’d do anything to make her aware of just how beautiful she is.
as she stands almost naked before you, she peeps out a timid “your turn.”
before you think twice, you tackle her to the floor, crushing her lips under yours and shoving your tongue back into her mouth. she whimpers when she hits the ground, albeit mostly out of pain instead of pleasure. you slightly pull away with a gasp, concerned about potentially hurting her— the opposite of your intentions.
“fuck, sorry.” you groan against her lips. “did i hurt you?”
“it’s alright.” she responds. “worth it to have a pretty thing like you on top of me.”
with that, you’re kissing her even deeper, grabbing onto the back of her head to get a better angle with your tongue. she shuffles slightly under you, bucking her hips up as she unbuttons your own pants. shit, you think to yourself, i’ve never done this before.
your bottoms are quickly discarded, sevika throws them somewhere behind you the second they’re off. you’re dying to get your hands on her tits, but you don’t know how to ask. it’s a good think she can always tell what you’re thinking, because she reaches up to hook her thumbs under her bra and yank it off. and god, you were right. her tits are wide and heavy, they’re so smooth and round with the most perfect brown nipples sitting proudly in the center of each one.
you lean forward to give each one a kiss, just a gentle brush, but it doesn’t really satisfy your craving for her. you pout, you’re so horny that it hurts. no matter what article of clothing she removes, it’s not enough. you just wanna crawl inside of her and live there.
“what’s wrong?” she asks.
“i need you.”
“have you ever had sex before?”
“no. i have no idea what i’m doing.”
“guess it’s my turn to guide you.” she laughs, and although the joke was stupid, you giggle too. you didn’t know it could be this fun.
she shuffles under you as she slides her boxers off, and you almost drool at the sight of her bush. it’s just so… beautiful. and intimate. she pats your hips as a signal to scoot off of her, and she spreads her legs before manhandling you to sit your cunt on top of hers. as soon as you connect your cunt with hers, you swear you black out.
it all feels so good. she keeps spreading her legs wider to help you get a better angle against her clit, and you can feel it throbbing against yours. you thought holding her hand was intimate, but this is so much more than you could’ve imagined.
“fuck, sevika.” you moan, tears crashing over you again and dripping onto her cheeks now. “you’re so beautiful.”
she groans at this, tears washing over her too. she hasn’t felt beautiful in so long, and here you are completely undoing her insecurities. all of the scars on her face, cheeks, neck, arms, and torso get kissed. you trail your fingers along some, your tongue along others. you want her to feel loved. you want her to feel the exact same way that she makes you feel.
“you’re beautiful too.” she admits sheepishly. “i can’t believe i haven’t fucked you sooner.”
this flusters you. it’s hard for you to believe that anyone can just be this confident saying things like that, especially because you’re not used to it. but it feels so good to be desired. to have the woman of your dreams using you to get off.
you’re both so sensitive that it doesn’t take long for either of you to cum. sevika’s catches her first after you tell her how beautiful her scars are, even though she used to believe they were the ugliest things known to mankind. she gasps as she cums, her thick cream leaking out of her cunt and down her ass.
you eventually follow after her when she readjusts, moving one of her hands down from your neck onto your hip. she grinds up into you, and your clit meets hers at such an angle that you cum with a scream. it’s dizzying. you gasp and moan and writhe as your orgasm crashes down over you. considering that it’s your first, you weren’t expecting it to be so enveloping. you were taught that sex was unholy, gross, sinful, and a plethora of other negative adjectives.
but it’s not.
you imagine that this is what heaven feels like, a shock of pleasure that runs through your body and leaves you panting and reeling. and it’s fun. as soon as you come down, sevika’s congratulating you on a good job and holding you close. you cry again, but this time not out of fear, out of certainty. you have it all figured out. you’ve just felt the best sensation of your life and here’s the love of your life smiling up from under you.
and so sevika holds you for another few minutes. yeah, you’re both naked in the middle of church, and yeah you’d be burned at the stake if anyone ever found out. but you wouldn’t mind that, as long as you have sevika with you.
“sevika?” you ask after a long while of silent kisses and tickling breaths.
“yeah?”
“i think we need to get out of here.”
“alright. where to?”
“i dunno. let’s leave the country.”
sevika laughs at this, and it’s a sound prettier than anything you’ve ever heard. something you’ll never get sick of. “fuck, i love you so much.”
but before convincing her to leave the country with you, you drive her to a small 24 hour diner down the street and have dinner together. it’s a real date, although all of those coffee shop meeting have gotta count for something too. you hold her hand across the table, this time not afraid, and share a milkshake just like they do in the movies.
so yeah, maybe things didn’t work out for you with this certain group of people, and maybe it does still take a while for you to get over your fear of societal rejection, but sevika is there for you every step of the way. as your girlfriend. officially.
OK HAIII if you made it all the way through my the treacherous jungle of my yap and you’re reading this, thank you so much!!!! i poured my entire heart and soul (and pussy) into this so i hope u enjoyed hehehe :P special thanks to pluto, rayray, eren, and lyss for allowing me to yap about this fic to them, i couldn’t have done it without you guys 🥹 my favorite people in the world right here, MWAH here’s a kiss from ennabear <3 and another thanks to the rest of my mutuals for putting up with the empty promises of “coming soon” at least it’s actually finished now!! i love all of you, let me know what you thought of this one!!! comments and reblogs are very highly appreciated 🤎🤎
farm au! sevika masterlist
the cutest exchange I’ve ever had about Farmer Abby and Farmer Sevika
how it all starts - farmhand! sevika
cooking dinner for farmhand! sevika
farmer! sevika being really cold + farmer! abby being really warm
Farmer! Sevika and your’s farmhouse
farmer! sevika coming home from a trip to town
nsfw farmer! sevika hcs
worrisome - tribbing with farmer! sevika - nsfw
giggling so bad imagining R shaving her bush and sevika being like oh my god do u hate me?!?! what did I do?!?! how can I make it up to u I'm sorry pleeeeeease never do this again we can talk it out next time please 😭😭
LMAOOO
men and minors dni
last month, your period crept up on you, and you woke up half convinced you'd been stabbed in your sleep.
you and sevika didn't even try to salvage the sheets, just throwing them in the trash before re-making the bed. your pajamas were ruined, and, grossest of all, your crotch was a sticky, bloody mess.
so, this month to avoid any more incidents, you've been sleeping on a towel in anticipation, wearing a pad to bed just in case, and... you've shaved.
you haven't shaved in years. you and sevika are both bush enjoyers, and neither of you have ever felt the need to take a razor to your pits or legs since you started dating. finding a razor to use is almost impossible, but you manage to find one buried in the far back of your bathroom closet.
you feel so... cold. and smooth. you're hyper-aware of the feeling of your underwear rubbing on your skin. it's strange. not unpleasant, but strange. with one last look down your pants at your hair-less pussy, you shrug and crawl into bed.
you think that's the end of it.
you go to sleep easily, waking up about an hour later when sevika crawls in bed behind you. she kisses you gently and you hum, wrapping your arms around her before you both fall asleep.
in the morning, though, you wake up to a horrified gasp.
"what!? what is it, is someone breaking in?" you ask, sitting up in bed and rubbing your eyes. as you pull your hands away, though, you don't find sevika sitting beside you where she should be. she's hovering on top of you on all fours, a horrified look on her face. "sevika, what?!" you ask, your heart pounding in your chest.
"you shaved?!" sevika cries. you blink, your mind still half asleep, before finally looking down at your crotch.
you burst into laughter as you do. sevika's pulled your pants down your thighs in your sleep, clearly trying to give you a nice wake up call, and she's just now seeing your bare cunt. "sevika, for fuck's sake, i thought something horrible happened!" you laugh.
"something horrible has happened! why the fuck did you shave!?" sevika asks, her eyes wide and heartbroken. "d-did i piss you off, or something? whatever it is, baby, i promise i'll make it up to yo--"
"sevika!" you cackle. sevika pouts as she looks up from your pussy to your face. "baby, i shaved because my period's on the way and i didn't wanna deal with the mess again."
sevika's looking at you like you've lost your mind. "wha-- fuck that!" she whines. you chuckle. "what the fuck am i supposed to do when i'm goin' down on you now? my nose is gonna get all cold, i won't have anything to run my fingers through..." sevika looks seriously upset. you giggle just a little at the absurdity of the situation, then reach up to cup her face.
"it'll grow back, baby." you promise. sevika frowns.
"but then you'll just shave it off again!"
"no, i won't babe." you say. "not if you feel this strongly about it. plus, it's a lotta work-- i was scared to death i was gonna cut one of my lips off or something."
sevika chuckles. "thank you." she sighs, kissing your lips. you grin.
"thank you. y'know, most people have to deal with the opposite-- their partners forcin' them to shave before any intimacy at all... i'm glad you prefer the option that requires the least amount of work possible for me."
sevika giggles and kisses you. "i am pretty amazing, aren't i?" she asks. you nod.
"the fuckin' best." you agree.
taglist!
@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner
@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther
@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart
@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette
@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp
@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner
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@lavandasz @strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed
Swept Away - Sevika
Part 2
Warnings : Hints at infedilty, married!r, surfer!Sevika
At the dinner table
Coco is sitting in a high chair, playing with her buttered spaghetti and talking with a mouthful.
“Mama today…Today I saw the shells, real shells on the sand, and they were pink and white and the ... .the dark white like Ariel!!” she exclaims proudly about her discovery. “Oh yeah? You were like Ariel, hm? The princess?” you ask with a fond smile on your face.
“No, like the mermaid!” she corrects you., “Oh yes, mermaid, my mistake, honey,” you chuckle and return to your food. Your husband doesn't participate but focuses only on the dinner, a seafood boil with some rice and wine. The food is delicious, and you're looking forward to being done with dinner, taking a shower, and getting in bed. It's been an exhausting day and the longest you've spent with your husband. He's chewing loudly and making the most obnoxious slurps and giving you smirks as if you're supposed to like it. You don't. It's disgusting.
After you finish eating, you clean up Coco, and good thing she was exhausted too that she immediately fell asleep as soon as she was tucked in the bed. You lock the door so your husband doesn't enter, and you go to the attached bathroom and take a quick super and come out. Between your shower, you could hear your husband's voice calling out for you to open the door, but he gave up and went to another room to sleep. Thank god. The night breeze is nothing short of serenity. The salty air, cool breeze, and gentle sound of waves crashing. It couldn't get better than this. You get in the cool sheets and drift off to sleep in a peaceful state.
Your morning, although it couldn't be more chaotic. You hear Coco screaming and your husband calling out your name and another two voices chattering about and clanging. You quickly jump out of bed, throw a robe on, and go outside. Coco is on the couch screaming with the iPad in her hand, your husband is yelling at someone on the phone and shoots you a glare and mouths “Handle her!” referring to Coco. You go to pick up Coco and see your nanny, chatting with……sevika?
“Maria, hello? Could I have some help here?” you ask exasperated by how your morning has started.
“Oh I'm sorry missus but my shift doesn't start till half an hour” she replies with that sickly sweet smile.
“Then why are you even here?!”
“Oh, I like to be early.” If only you could punch her-
You pick up Coco and try to talk to her
“Coco, baby, what's the matter, hmm? Tell me, c'mon tell mama.” You rub her cheek with your thumb while she just throws that pout at you.
“Dada won't give iPad.” She crosses her arms and looks away.
You huff and take the iPad in your hands, but see it's switched off because of the battery.
The charger…….
“Nate!! Where's the iPad charger?” you yell out.
“Well, I didn't pack it. Why would I have it?” Of course, why would HE lift a finger?
Now, you didn't pack a charger, he didn't pack a charger
“Coco, the iPad is asleep. You know, iPads need nap times too.” You come up with a white lie
“Really?” she asks with wide eyes.
“Yes! You know, like little coco was exhausted and slept at night iPads sleep during the day because….um……-”
“The sun makes them sleepy, kiddo.” Sevika’s voice cuts through; she leans with her forearms on the back of the couch, her head next to you. You almost forgot Sevika was in the house, too. You turn to look at her, and of course, her signature smirk is still intact.
“And may I ask, why are you here?” you inquire
“What? You thought teaching surfing makes enough money?” she grins and looks at you as if shes-
“Well then, what do you do?”
“I live here and take care of this house all year round,” she says
“Wait, what?! Why didn't I see you yesterday at the wait….you're lying?”
“No doll, I prefer to take the staircase that's connected from the backyard so I don't…..barge in with you or your husband's activities” she whispers into your ear.
“You–....you aren't barging in to anything. take the stairs from inside the house, it's fine” you say as your gaze returns to your daughter who's now fidgeting with your hair. You don't even realize you just told Sevika something so revealing about the true nature of your marriage.
“Is that so?” she asks with that smirk that's just never-ending.
“I don't have time for this, MARIA, has your shift started yet?” you ask, replicating her sweet smile.
“Yes missus, hand her to-”
You cut her off
“No just make her breakfast, she doesn't eat any fruits except berries, no spices not even salt, she eats butter, no pancakes only waffles but keep them a bit tender and raw so they're soft” you give her hard instructions to piss her off.
“You love giving everyone a hard time, eh?”Sevika asks, her eyes never leaving your body.
“Pfft, whatever.” You set Coco down on the couch and see Sevika play peek-a-boo with her as if she's a 3-year-old child. Coco is literally a big girl; she's 4 years old.
You get a few of Coco's colouring notebooks and her crayons, some toys even and set them on her coffee table.
“So when are you coming down to the beach?” Sevika asks
“Not now, I'm busy with my daughter,” you reply. Sevika doesn't miss the possessiveness you have for your daughter. She was getting a kick out of seeing you all motherly and demanding.
“What's the point of a nanny, huh?” she asks, knowing she's treading on your nerves.
You shoot her a glare, and Sevika raises her arms defensively.
“I'm just askin’ mama, you look tired.”
You realise she's right. You jumped out of bed and had to handle everything yourself. Where is Nate?-
“Nate?! Where the fuck are you??” you call out
No response
“Nate?!” you yell out again
You're about to yell again when Sevika’s hands come up to your shoulder and massages gently.
“Shh…dont stress, you and lil’ coco are here on a vacation,” she whispers in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. You relax and huff and sit back down on the couch.
“Yes, mama! We are on the beach!”
Your daughter exclaims while she's colouring on her little book.
“I’ll come down after breakfast, Sevika…”
“Aight’ see you then” she gets up to leave and you almost want to grab her arm and pull her back.
“Um….okay, bye…” You wave at her. You again mull over how bipolar you were acting earlier with her. You really want Sevika to know you like her, but not like her too much because, after all, you're married. It's endless.
After breakfast, while you're cleaning up, your husband appears out of nowhere.
“Where were you?!” you ask him in a frustrated tone. You've been running around feeling like a headless chicken with no help.
“Just an important call,” he mumbles, grabbing a plate and piling up some toast and fruit on it.
“Oh, I see you need to disappear from the house to answer a call.” You cross your arms, lean against the counter, and glare at him
“What's your implication?” he asks
“Nothing”
“No, no, I get what you mean. What about Sevika, huh? You two are getting real cozy here.”
The audacity
“What the fuck do you mean by that?” you ask him.
“Nothing, you seem very happy with her rather than me” he says in an accusatory tone.
“I met her yesterday, Nate?! She literally did nothing, WE literally did nothing.”
“Yet she was massaging your shoulders and acting like Cora’s father” he says, his voice getting whiny and defensive.
“Oh, so reassuring her and massaging my shoulders is all it takes for your fragile, pissy masculinity to get hurt? You're accusing ME of cheating?! Wow, Nate, I could've done this years ago.”
“Natalie was just a friend!!” You didn't even have to name which girl, he's setting himself up at this point.
“Just leave. We came here to enjoy a vacation, not deal with your little boy tantrums.” You dismissively walk past
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE? WHO’S WE?”
“Coco and me” you say without turning to look at him
“Fine, I’ll leave. I bet you'd love being here without me, huh. I paid for ev-” you cut him off
“Are you leaving or not, or should I leave?”
“Fine!! Jesus.” he runs off to the room he slept in. You grab the picnic basket and Coco and pack some beach stuff for the both of you. You instruct Maria to carry the luggage and set up a nice spot. Meanwhile, you put Coco in her sundress and put on SPF; you do the same and match the dresses with Coco. You see Nate use the back door to leave. You both don't exchange goodbyes. With his departure, the house feels………….peaceful. Like the beach house you wanted to stay in.
You walk to the beach and find Maria chatting with Sevika again. You set Coco down on the beach towel and turn to Sevika.
“Could I get a floatie or something for her?” you ask her.
“Of course, meri jaan~” she says, making you blush just a bit. Whatever she said sounded hot.
“W-what does that mean?” you ask, flustered
“Noothing, just a lil’ word in Hindi,” she replies, turning away and walking to a shed you can see in the distance to grab a folate for the child.
“Oh c'mon!! Tell me please” you yell out, hoping for an answer, but sevika ignores you and walks away. You could've looked it up on your phone but you left it back at the house.
Sevika comes out with a small flamingo floatie. She hands it to Maria, and as you get up to go help her. You're pulled back down next toSevika.
“Where you goin’ ?” she asks, her face being a bit too close for your liking.
“To help Maria”
“Nah, Maria’s okay, aren't you, Maria?” You both look over to Maria, who gives a thumbs up and takes Coco to the water
“Fine…...help me with my spf” you hand the bottle to her and turn you back to her.
She squirts a good amount onto her palms and slowly applies it onto your back. She leans close and whispers into your ear.
“I saw that your hubby left, huh….”
“Yeah……he had a meeting or whatever,” you quickly cover up with a lie
“Meeting with Natalie?” she asks.
Shoot
She heard the argument
But how?
“How-”
“Told ya’ I live on the second floor. You guys weren't exactly hush-hush either.”
"Of course.”
“Aight, gotta get back to work. Watch me without wetting yourself, hm,” she says with a smirk as she puts her glasses on
“Excuse me?!” You let out a gasp and quite literally clutch the pearl necklace you're wearing
“The waves meri jaan~.... you're sitting far too close,” she says as she's walking away.
“No! That's not what you- Sevika come back here…Sevikaaaa” you whine and call out to her but she doesnt turn back and look at you.
Little fucker.
AN: second part is out!! the smut could possibly be included in the next chapter ;)
divider by @dollywons
comment to be added to the taglist
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20, llocal lesbian, Sevika, Ran, ambessa and Valeria Garza enjoyer 🤑
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