I Can’t Fix Him But I Could Fuck Him.

006 - get laid

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ex!suna rintarō x singer! reader

hello im sorry u haven’t uploaded, i just started senior year and i have to keep my average to be able to achieve a scholarship

i made an edit bc for some reason the first two ss didn’t appear, idk if i didn’t upload them bc i was falling asleep??

suna hasn’t slept with anyone since his last time with y/n which was a year and months ago, but he felt that if he did it he would betray her

he also genuinely cannot bring himself to find any other girl attractive, he hasn’t tried but even if he did, he will fail

i read a fanfic abt tsukishima once where he could only get it up (if ykwim) with the reader, when he tried to sleep w a girl it wouldn’t get up, and i love that idea so it will probably be the same for suna(that fanfic is also the reason why i love exes to lovers)

suna also never tried to get laid bc in his mind hes still y/n’s, and he always had his hopes of getting back tg, he had never thought about the fact that she probably would get over him

thats bc suna knows he will never get over her, so he didn’t think she would

guess who suna wants to get laid by

atsumu and osamu are not being rude, they genuinely think y/n got over suna already (even though thats not the case)

osamu used to really hate the idea of his best friend dating his sister and they both forgetting abt him, but after seeing how in love they were, he became their biggest supporter

the count of days is how many days have passed since their breakup

@lvc-lv @renardiererin @3lectraheart @nyxlai @beckxisxinxlovexwithxjin @wooasecret @sonicsolos @dazqa @mfcherry @iluvhellokity @eclipticnikki @unhinged-atrocities @platimoonie @sp1ng @just-coreee @piopioo @sellomaybe @grassbutneo @toges-cough-syrup @peteunderoos @mfcherry @jaynawayna

@myromanempiree @jellysupremacy 

aren’t promises meant to be broken?

at 17 sirius promised to always be there for you whenever you need him. now 3 years after your break up, sirius has yet to break this promise.

tags: sirius black x f!reader,, magical nuisances,, exes to friends to lovers,, hurt and comfort,, fluff,, angst,, slytherins + pandora,, no voldy

a/n: took me an embarrassing amount of time to finish but i’m kinda soft for this fic ngl

people never stay friends with their exes. even with the promises of being one when breaking up. most find it, understandably, too awkward to continue any sort of relationship with them.

you would have been one of those people, at least you think so. but certain circumstances have deemed this preference a futile thought.

“i can’t believe you got me here to clean your bathroom.” sirius glared, peeling off the rubber gloves off his hands and slumping down on the breakfast nook.

“someone had to do it.” you shrugged, “it wouldn’t be the first time,” you smiled, vanishing the gloves and cleaning the table too. before placing a plate in front of him filled with sausages, toast and beans.

“that’s the fucked up part! it isn’t even my first time doing this.” he groans, grabbing a fork that you immediately slapped away.

“wash your hands first, you animal.”

he whines a protest but gets up anyway, rubbing his slapped hands as he does so—pouting because he’s dramatic like that.

“aren’t you going to eat with me?” he asks, his back turned to you as he washes his hands.

you were almost going to say yes, out of habit, having done so numerous times before. but remembered belatedly, the date set up by regulus with one of his work colleagues. a proper fit to you, he said. “no, i’m meeting somebody for dinner later.”

he closes the tap, turning to you again. “dinner? with who?”

you clicked your tongue at the dripping mess he’s making on the floor. grabbing paper towels and tossing it to him to wipe it himself. “some bloke from regulus’ work.”

“regulus? another date then?”

you nodded, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the idea of talking about dates your ex’s brother set you up with.

he frowned. going back to the table and grabbing the fork to start eating the warm food. “i see,”

and that was, thankfully, the end of that.

you didn’t really want to delve into your dating life with anyone, much less your ex-boyfriend of all people—no matter how many times he cleans your bathroom. it was already morbidly pathetic, how your friends seem to think you needed help finding someone new and to move on with.

but in your defence, it is rather difficult finding someone who would be okay with your, er, arrangement with your ex.

it is all sirius’ fault, really, but what isn’t? accidentally making a magically-binding promise to you, seems just like the type of thing he would do. and he has.

ever since he made that promise at 17 when you’ve just started dating, sirius has been showing up in your life, ready to help you with anything you need. you thought of this is in a more figurative sense, but no. that was too simple.

instead, whenever you need something. maybe something as simple as scratching your back, to partaking in a monthly bathroom cleaning, sirius would just appear out of thin air into your house, or wherever you need him, and he would be required to do it else he wouldn’t be able to leave.

when you were dating, this was something you both enjoyed, sometimes even looked forward to. using it as an excuse to latch unto each other the whole day. but now, having been spilt for how many years now (3 but who’s counting?) you can imagine how this magic promise has become a nuisance in your everyday life.

you tried resisting it, of course. though the power of will and mental fortitude can only do so much when you can’t reach the top shelves of your kitchen. forget about avoiding your ex, when he can just pop in whenever, wherever, when you get so much as a paper cut. you can see how the novelty of the situation can run its course. so much so, you sort of just learn how to deal with it instead of fighting it.

you’ve learned to use this to your advantage, of course, making him do chores around the house, makes him a great house elf without the moral issues of owning one.

he was also quite reluctant, when you both broke up, but that was to be expected. he had tried moving away to france, thinking the distance might prevent him from showing up. but that only made it difficult to explain to the travel officers how he can exit the country without violating travel wizarding laws.

regardless of the reluctant acceptance of such peculiar arrangement, you still have that hope you can somehow reverse it.

this particular hope always trampled by your friends’ insistence to utilize your situation to your extreme satisfaction.

“i don’t understand why you would want to remove it, to be honest.” dorcas frowned flipping through the pages of magical vows and contracts, vol.2. “i mean if i had someone doing things for me all day long, i certainly wouldn’t complain.”

“are you joking? why would anyone want to stay bound to their ex?”

she looked over to you, tone playfully mocking, but mocking regardless. “you mean an ex who does everything you need him to?”

“well, how would you feel if lily was always around you doing stuff for you?”

“oh please, if lily was bound to me, cleaning my bathroom wouldn’t be the only thing she would be doing.”

you grimace, “spare me the details, i beg of you.”

“so you wouldn’t like it if you and sirius partook… in certain late night activities?” she hummed.

you sputter out scandalized gasps, face feeling gruesomely warm, “don’t be disgusting! i have no intentions of ever doing anything with him and i assume he share the sentiments, a-and it is appalling that you think so—!” you breathed in deep, willing your face to relax and to settle your wild heart. “i don’t need him to be anything other than a reluctant acquaintance.”

pandora laughs from the floor, “not even considering him as a friend? poor sirius.”

you huff, embarrassed and frankly a bit betrayed.

you friends have convinced themselves of sirius’ intentions to be more than what is required of him. pushing you of all people to act upon seducing him using your gods given womanly assets, as pandora had once labelled.

you abruptly stood up from the table, going over to the stove to reheat the water to make more tea. “besides, i am perfectly capable of handling things by myself, thank you very much.”

it’s dorcas who laughs this time, “what do you mean? just last week, he had to bandage your finger for you because you bit your cuticle to blood. you are entirely dependent on him at this point.”

you huff, “i am not. i am a woman capable of attending to my own needs. that was the bind’s requirements of it all, i have to let him do these things or the bond won’t ever let him leave, you know this already.” you groan, rolling your eyes. “my point still stands. i don’t need him, nor will i ever need him. i just want all of this out of my life and in the past, like it should have been.”

“doesn’t he have his own room in this house by now?”

“it’s not his room, it’s a guest room— that he frequently uses. there’s a difference.”

it was pandora munching on peanuts, wholly amused that responded next, “right,” she drawled, “and that’s why he has his clothes folded and tucked away in the closet.”

“oh piss off, the nuisance sometimes happens in the middle of the night. how could i let him go home so late? what kind of host would i be?”

“couldn’t he just go home straight after?” dorcas asks.

“is it a nuisance, still?” pandora asks.

you cross your arms, petulant, “he can, but he chooses not to. and yes, still.” you scoff, “i know you think something filthy is happening but i particularly don’t enjoy his impromptu trespasses, believe me.”

“i don’t know, you two seem to be getting along quite well.”

“me and that useless oaf? are you joking?”

pandora smiled sweetly, “hardly useless now, i hear.”

“and what did you hear?”

“takes care of you quite well, what with dinner invites with the potters and even travelling?”

you turned around, fiddling with the tea cups, hoping to hide your darkening flush. but you know it did nothing, judging by their giggles.

“travelling?” dorcas inquired, interest piqued.

you don’t see her but you can sense her teasing smile.

you have yet to share that tidbit of embarrassing info to her. mainly because you don’t know how to squeeze it in and you don’t know how to even begin.

you did go to the potters for one random dinner. the invite came after sirius had come and helped you arrange your home library. it was just a simple dinner. filled with other people, hardly anything scandalous.

the travelling together was accidental. you were off to travel with bloke #4, as graciously dubbed by sirius (someone regulus had set you up with at the time) off to a romantic getaway for the weekend to a hot spring up the mountains. only to get thirsty halfway through your trip and have sirius show up in your train compartment only in his boxers and fluffy bunny slippers.

there were no other stops in the train. anti apparition wards set up and the floo connection was severed in the hotel to promote exclusivity, sirius had to join in on the activities through his relentless insistence. he had ate and laughed obnoxiously loud - sitting dangerously close to you the entire trip. he had constantly went on a tangent, reminiscing about your past relationship ranging from random dates to the make out spots you’ve frequented together in hogwarts. safe to say that was the last time you’ve heard from bloke #4.

but you could hardly think to be upset about that. you quite… enjoyed yourself.

but you’ll be damned before you admit that to these two vultures.

taking a deep breath, “there was no dinner invites nor travelling. it was—“

“magical nuisance, yes, yes.” pandora waves off.

you roll your eyes again, grabbing the hot kettle to steep the tea. “stop trying to make things—ah! fuck, ow.” you hiss, holding your painfully warm, stinging fingers. you see the tiny boils already appearing on your skin, the piercing pain shooting through your fingers. you squeezed your hand, hoping to elevate some of the pain.

sirius made a quick move to grab your wrists to pull you to the sink. you didn’t even hear him arrive.

“what happened?” he asks, silver eyes looking at you in intense worry. softly holding your hand under the cold running water gliding down your hand. he was standing so close to you you could smell a tiny hint of his soap. you slowly start to relax.

that is before you catch dorcas’ glinting gaze and pandora’s knowing smile. both of which you vehemently ignore, as you stare at your red fingers and his much larger hand on yours.

“i burned my fingers on the kettle.”

“goodness love, you have to be more careful.”

“sorry.” you mumbled, but having no idea why you would even apologize in the first place. still, you feel the heat of your hand spread to your body.

dorcas, having stood up to help you sat back down again, “hello, sirius. right on time as always.” she called, a cetain lilt in her voice you nervously recognized.

“sirius black, what a coincidence.” pandora sing songs, no subtlety whatsoever.

oh, they are just the worst.

he regarded them both in an overly familiar smile (an ex shouldn’t give to his ex’s friends) and in a light teasing tone as he says “good evening, ladies. why do i get the feeling like you’ve been gossiping about me?”

“you might have been mentioned once or twice.” pandora shrugged.

sirius softly laughs, the sound barely heard over the sink, before he stares at your fingers again, rubbing his thumb over the sensitive skin. before looking at you with a teasing smirk to which you only roll your eyes at.

you see shuffling in your peripheral, meeting your friend’s eyes, you see them gesture to you and sirius. trying to wordlessly communicate to you with wide smiles. you imagine something akin to, see? what did we tell you? not useless right? nuisance my ass. look at you guys holding hands under the water.

as if just realizing it now, you pull your hand away from his grip in an embarrassed haste, as he slowly lets go with a small frown etched on his face.

drying his hands on the towel, as he leans down to unnecessarily whisper to you. “i’m going to get a burn salve, i’ll be quick.”

“it’s in the—“

“bathroom, yes, angel, i know. just wait for me.” he drawled, giving you a wry smile.

you stare at his retreating figure. you almost want to laugh at his serious reaction to a simple burn from a kettle. hardly calls for any salve. but you kept the comments in, for whatever reason. a fluffy, dangerous feeling erupting in your chest.

you hear dorcas whistle to get your attention, a smirk on her face, “angel?”

when the promise first happened, it was during graduation from hogwarts. absolutely gutted by the fact that your parents didn’t show. they’ve been vocal about their disappointment that you weren’t able to finish at the top of your class. but you had hoped they would still show. you were, after all, still their kid.

but there was noticeably empty seats in an area reserved for your family. so, naturally as any teenager, the next best thing you could do in the situation is cry alone in a bathroom.

though the lack of company didn’t last too long, because then your boyfriend appeared, looking to be in a middle of taking pictures if his big and goofy face is anything to go by.

he heard you, before he saw you. hearing your soft sniffles and the tiny hiccups from your mouth. at the time, you both didn’t question what had happen. why he was inside the girl’s bathroom, why is there a strange pull to follow your every whims. but he was suddenly there to comfort you, and make you smile again—who were you deny his services?

you both only managed to understand what was happening by the third time it happened. sirius suddenly appearing by your bedside, wet and covered in suds. he was in the middle of showering and you promptly freaked out, seeing large bits you weren’t ready to see yet.

but understanding why it was happening didn’t mean both of you would be prepared anytime it actually happened.

the bind didn’t pick and choose when, where, and why he would appear. there was an embarrassing moment when he showed up in the bathroom when you’ve ran out of tissue paper. also at your house during dinner when you needed salt, to which your parents justifiably freaked out at the sight of a boy, claiming to be your boyfriend.

this hasn’t changed years later.

now as you lie in your bed, feeling the scratchy feeling in your throat. you knew by the tingles in your arms. the thrumming static of your magic within you— letting you know of his arrival before you could even sit up.

there he was, your ex-boyfriend, like the days before. it was terribly late, and he was struggling to even stand straight as he yawns in the middle of your room, wearing a set of well-loved teddy bear pajamas.

“somethin’ wrong baby?” his voice deep, hoarse and low. something exciting spiking through your veins, making you more awake.

you knew, if he was more alert he wouldn’t have called you that.

you try not to think why you feel miffed by that fact.

“jus’ some water please.” you call softly from your bed.

he yawns again, rubbing his flat belly, “okay.” he breathes, walking in the darkness of your room with practiced ease.

you hear the small sounds of clanks in the kitchen, and the fridge being pulled open.

he knew you liked you water cold. he knew where your drinking glasses were. he knew where you keep the salves. he knew your apartment in the dark.

in the beginning, especially after your relationship ended, you associated this binding promise as an act of forceful requirement. at best, you see it as a favour you give to a stranger. but lately, especially in the quiet of your house, the pet names that keeps slipping out of his mouth as of late—you start to dangerously think of this as something else. as something more. as something painfully familiar.

he comes back quiet, siting on the bed near your thighs, as he hands you the cool, moist glass. his hair was tousled more than usual. there were sleeping marks on his face. he was probably already asleep before you needed him here.

you feel a little bit guilty, but you see his flushed cheeks through the soft glow of the moon outside your window, and the hooded gaze he desperately tries to keep open. you fight back a smile instead.

“is that all, baby?” his hand softly smoothing your hair at the back of your head. your room felt ridiculously warm.

“thank you.” you murmured before setting the glass on the bedside table.

he gives you one last sleepy smile, eyes closed and his hair toppling over his eyes. “okay, if that’s all—“

“are you going back?” you cut in, holding his wrist, your finger on his pulse. keeping him seated before he could even stand. before his warmth leaves your bed.

“i don’t have to..” he offers. like always, giving you the choice to draw the line.

you hesitate before you answer, letting go of his wrist, “it’s late..” and that’s all you say, and apparently that’s all he needs.

“is it alright then, if i stay the night? then i can leave in the morning?” he whispers back. his warm hand, touching your thigh over the covers. he felt so far away.

you don’t do this, not usually. but in the dark space of your room you feel more confident. more assured. braver.

you move slightly to the side, giving him space, “if you want.” conveniently forgetting the existence of the spare room. choosing to blame it on the lack of sleep.

he smiles, moving the covers. the short moment of exposure making you shiver in the cold. he notices, quickly sliding into bed with you. arms stiffly on his sides and yours crossed across your chest.

still not brave enough.

you feel him shuffle, laying on his side and facing you. his fingers just barely grazing your sides in a soft touch.

you fell asleep faster than any other night, hearing him breath near your ear.

you dream of a teary conversation from a time not so long ago, of desperate pleas not to leave you. and when you feel his arm curl around your waist. you dreaming of nothing for the rest of night.

the next morning, you woke up later than you would have, and see the too empty space next to you. the pang in your chest, grossly familiar.

it had been a month since the night he’s stayed with you. not a breath has been acknowledged about that night. choosing to ignore the lingering tension, the long stares and the awkward dispositions.

you don’t know whether to feel relieved or frustrated.

of course, your friends had noticed this - because hadn’t they been analyzing each of your move when it comes to sirius black?

dorcas eventually had to force it out of you. to which pandora squealed and teased you in delight. insistent of the blooming change in your relationship.

“blooming change?” you repeated.

“what? it’s poetic!” she argues.

“it’s dumb,” regulus calls out. “y/n isn’t the kind to return to an ex, especially not to my dumb brother, right y/n?” he looks so earnestly confident. so much so that you couldn’t even lie to agree with him. truth be told, you have no idea if you were even the type to go back, regardless if it was reggie’s dumb brother or not.

because sirius has been your first boyfriend and if this bind continues on, he might be your last. you don’t know if that’s a good thing, all things considered.

everyone has turned to you now, in varying degrees of smugness, amusement, pride and playful pity.

dorcas laughs, saving you from answering. “i don’t know reggie, seems like y/n’s getting a little swayed.”

reggie reacts for you, as if offended. “she is not! she is actively going on dates and meeting new people.”

“oh?” dorcas smirked.

barty, sitting up straighter, “doesn’t he have a room here or something?”

you say, “no,“ “yes.” pandora quips, at the same time.

you rolled your eyes, “it’s a guest room—“

“one that conveniently went unused in one random night.” evan hummed, smirking, as he blew his smoke out the window.

pandora and dorcas ooh’ed.

“it was late! he was practically dragging himself from the floor, i couldn’t let him hurt himself after i interrupted his sleep, a-and he was already there, it’d be rude not to—i don’t even know why i’m explaining myself to you!— i don’t have to explain myself, because i did nothing wrong.” your met with four amused looks and one gut wrenchingly, disappointed one.

dorcas clicked her tongue, “i don’t know why you’re even fighting it at this point.”

“what do you mean by that?”

“i mean, you clearly want to be with him still.”

you sputter, sitting straighter, indignant as you say, “what gave you that idea?”

“the longing gaze.”

“acting all shy.” barty adds.

“the late night rendezvous,” evan hums.

“giving him his own room.” pandora pointedly looked at you.

“the inability to pursue any other relationship after him.” regulus tutted.

you gasp, betrayed. “even you reggie?”

regulus rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and legs, “i am running out of eligible acquaintances to set you up with, you know.”

you don’t even know how to respond to that.

frankly you can’t. because you know they were right, and dammit if that didn’t hurt your pride just a little.

still, ridiculously hung up on an ex that didn’t even love you. a joke, really.

but you relish in the idea of sirius being near you. it sends a certain tingle down your spine just knowing he’ll arrive anytime, and be there for you. you like how he always stands so close to you even if he doesn’t have to. you like how you don’t have to tell him what he has to do before he does it. you like the pet names naturally slipping past his pretty mouth. how he’s always touching you in some way. how familiar it feels. the habits, the conversations, the feelings—how easy it all seems.

but it isn’t. you know it isn’t.

because you’ve tried and failed.

you fell for him, loved him the way you know how. leaving nothing for yourself as you give everything for him. loving him with no expectations for him to do the same. and so, he doesn’t.

he couldn’t love you back. at least not in the way you entirely feel for him.

he couldn’t look past his life and the experiences he’d endured just to reach that moment in the past. it wrecked you. you didn’t expect anything, but it still hurt when you got nothing for everything you had.

you don’t like the reminder, but you know you need it. you know how destroying it is to forget. you’ve tried being with him already and it didn’t work. you say this to them, whispered, as if ashamed.

you don’t even feel the tears sliding down your check as you say this.

dorcas’ smile dropped and pandora immediately sat down beside you.

“hey, you know it won’t be like that again.” pandora rubbing your shoulders.

“do i?” you rasped. “what’s so different about now than before? what’s to stop us from breaking up again?”

“it’s going to be different because you are different, and so is he.” dorcas said. “you were just teenagers, you barely knew yourselves back then. you weren’t ready for each other yet. he had issues to work out, and you had to grow up a little to understand that.”

you sniffled, “and you think we’re ready.”

“yes,” they all said.

dorcas reaching over and squeezing your hand, “i know you’re both ready.”

you shake your head, you don’t know if that’s true, “our forced proximity lasted longer than our actually relationship. and it’s only lasted this long because it’s just that—forced.”

pandora shook her head, dangling earrings clinking together. “that’s not true. it’s lasted this long because you wanted it to. you both wanted it to.”

evan nodded, smothering his cigarette butt and throwing it outside, “i, personally, wouldn’t want to spend any second with any of my exes, but you both didn’t even try finding any sort of solution to break the promise.”

barty gives you an awkward smile, as evan continues “if you had wanted to call it quits you would’ve found a way to end all of this the moment he had broken up with you. but you didn’t—“

“that’s because i couldn’t—“

“don’t lie,” regulus cut in, pouting, looking a bit like a petulant child. “we all know you could have found something in this ridiculously large library of yours.”

“why are you suddenly advocating for sirius and i to get back together again?”

regulus clicked his tongue, looking away. a slight flush on his cheeks. “i’m not advocating anything.” he huffs. “he’s an idiot who doesn’t deserve you. but if it’s sirius that ultimately makes you happy. then so be it.”

you swallow a lump, breathing a staggering breath, “i don’t know if he even—“

“he does.” regulus looking at you, eyes clear and sure. “he wouldn’t be so cross with me for setting you up with dates if he doesn’t.”

that same night, sirius, for once, was not summoned by you but of a call from regulus.

he already feels the natural flare of irritation, bracing himself for another round of teasing hums and provoking stories about how you’re on a date in an exclusive restaurant, with a bloke who’s ready to give you everything you need.

standing up from james’ couch, going to the kitchen to block the noise from the muggle telley, as remus called it. then accepting the call,

“i swear if you’re calling just to gloat about another conquest you’ve put her through then—“

“she needs you.” regulus slurred.

feeling an immediate spike in his heartbeat. already grabbing his jacket and hurrying to the front door to leave.

“we’re in a pub, bring your motorbike or something, she can’t apparate right now, too drunk.”

“i’ll be there in 10.” grabbing remus’ keys off a bowl in the entrance.

“oi, where the hell are you taking my car?” remus shrieked from the couch.

without looking back, “she needs me.”

peter whines from the living room, “but the game-!”

and he only slams the door close as a response.

“we’re in the east village, near a fountain.” regulus sluggishly explained before hanging up.

sirius wasn’t the best driver. in hindsight, he probably should have asked remus to drive him to you. but this was about you. he could hardly think about anything else when it comes to you. he would do anything for you, binding promise or not.

he found it particularly odd and extremely worrying, why you’re drinking on a thursday night. he knew you couldn’t handle your alcohol well, always ending up drinking too much and passing out.

considering regulus had to call him to come get you didn’t help his nerves as he drove faster than the limit allowed.

when he arrived expecting the worse, he found himself smiling at the sight of you.

you were laying your head on regulus lap as you both sat on the bench. he can hear barty and pandora trying to lift each other. dorcas and evan cheering them on.

but all he can see is you laying there. eyes closed and cheeks darkly flushed, dress splaying over your thighs. regulus smoothing your hair, lulling you to sleep. when he met his brother’s eyes. the younger black rolled his eyes and beckoned him over.

“took you long enough.” regulus grumbled, now sounding sober than when he called.

“is she okay?” sirius asks, crouching down and staring at your sleeping face for any signs of discomfort or pain.

regulus sighs, “just got a bit carried away, this one. she was… upset tonight so we let her have her fun an—“

“upset?” sirius cuts, couldn’t help the finger tracing your cheek and jaw. your nose twitching at his action. “why was she upset?”

regulus waves his hand, making vague gestures but offering no explanation. sirius frowns.

“i can take her home,” standing up, now as he calls out to the others. “does anybody else need a ride?”

all four heads, shook their heads and offered varying words of thanks. “you reggie?”

“don’t bother, i’m perfectly capable.” he tuts. “be careful of that metal beast.”

with slow movements, sirius slides his arms under your neck and the back of your thighs. making sure your dress stay tucked and you comfortably napping before lifting you up.

once lifted, your head turns to the crevice of his neck, burying your nose and breathing in deep. wrapping your own arms around his neck with practiced ease and familiarity.

his heart thrumming and slowing all the same. he likes you like this, so close to him and looking so content as you do now.

nodding his goodbyes to the others, as he walks to the car again. opening the car door proved to be a challenge what with an armful of you. but he managed to do so without jostling you too much. he didn’t want to wake you, but such actions proved to be futile as the moment you were placed in the passenger seat, you froze awake.

he tries to appease you with a gentle smile, brushing your hair behind your ear. “hi love, i’m getting you home today, is that alright?”

“siri?” you rasp, looking at him like he wasn’t real. his chest pounding as he sees your eyes glossing and shining with unshed tears. he immediately crouch down in front of you, grabbing of your hands, and peppering soft kisses on your knuckles.

“what is it, my love, why are you crying?”

“you’re here?”

he nodded, kissing your knuckles again. “i’m here.”

you said nothing, just staring at him. looking so lost and tearful. he feels a little guilty thinking you to be heart-clenchingly adorable, right now. looking so soft and precious, the urge to stay the night in the parking lot and just stare at you was strong but he knows he has to take you home, else you get sick.

he thought you were to say nothing else. so, he stood to close the door and head to the driver’s seat but you whined. tugging at his hand still in your clasp and pull him to you. tucking his head into your neck and burying your hand in his hair.

this is entering dangerous territories now, he thinks. one he very much like to continue venturing but he knows you weren’t sound of mind right now. so he refrains from touching you anymore than he has. his hands desperately clutching to the cold, hard car, substituting for your soft, pretty skin.

you whine, “don’t go.”

“‘m not going anywhere, baby. i’m just going to the seat next to you.” he mumbled, his lips agonizingly grazing your skin, he ignores the way your body shivers and the filthy thoughts that come with it. his hands gripping the car tighter.

“next to me?”

“yes, next to you.”

you eventually let him go, but not without constant coaxing.

he drives, slow and steady. avoiding potholes and uneven roads. you fell asleep again, from the slow, quiet drive and the soft, mellow music coming from the radio.

then sooner than he had liked, he parks in front of your house. he kills the engine and he whispers his calls to you. not sure whether he wants you awake to be feeling okay enough to walk or asleep so he can touch you again.

he moves when you stay quiet, doing everything he can to keep you from waking up. letting out a soft hiss each time a creak or a thump echoes in your quiet house.

when he finally, finally reaches your bedroom and lays you there, he’s quick to take off your shoes. then the realization of his next move taunts him. although, you looked very pretty with your dress, he doesn’t know if he should change your clothes into something more comfortable for you.

he knew an intense hungover when he sees one. getting up to change clothes isn’t pleasant with a raging headache. he stares at your laying figure. the thin strap of your dress slipped down, and your legs looking longer than he remembers.

he looks away before he sees anymore. it didn’t feel right, looking at you that way. especially whilst unconscious.

he open your dresser, knowing the drawer you keep your pajamas.

he sees a familiar, more faded than he remembers, shirt he always wore. the thought of you wearing his clothes makes him too happy and giddy for an adult man.

he fights his heart from beating too loudly. afraid you’ll hear. bites his lips to stop his giddy grin, and forces his eyes to focus on his search. but eventually did land on his old shirt and some long bottoms so you’d be warm.

he slid the bottoms first. careful not to touch your skin but very much feeling the heat of your thigh. he held his breath as he reached the curve of your bum. stopping and not knowing what to do next. with one arm he lifts you slightly off the bed. and with his eyes clenched tight, fast and frantic hands—holding his breath as he went to pull it up.

next was his your shirt. he had you sit up, head laying heavy on his shoulders. softly pulling back from you to slip the shirt over your head before letting you lean into him again. guiding your arms and pulling the soft tee down.

with a bated breath, he feels for the zipper at the back of your dress.

fingers touching and sliding over your back. the touch leaving a lingering static in his fingers. when he clutched the thin tiny thing, he slide it down. slowly, careful not to pinch your skin.

he hears you sigh from relief, letting himself smile, knowing he did a good job.

he lets you lay back down, properly this time, slip off your dress, cleans your face with a warm wet face towel.

he knows he should go. he knows to let you get your rest and sleep. knows he should return remus’ car. knows the lads are probably waiting for him. but there is no urge to leave. instead he stares at your clean bare face, the soft lines and pretty marks on your face just adds more to your allure.

he didn’t know how long he stared at you. it could’ve been a minute to a full hour, too busy studying your face, seeing all the new marks and the familiar ones, committing them to memory.

he was about to leave, lest he bothers you and wake you up. but you stirred.

stretching as you did so. and blearily stared at him. expectant and quiet.

your voice hoarse but genuine all the same. “it’s late..” he knew what you mean. the unspoken invitation, just like last time.

and he wants to—god he wants to.

“i can’t baby,” you were drunk, he wasn’t. it wouldn’t be fair.

“you’re leaving again?”

that did him in, slumping down on the bed. rubbing your outer thigh through your covers. “i’ll stay then, just rest.”

“but you’ll just leave me like last time.” you mumbled.

he gives you a lopsided smile, apologetic and painfully endeared all the same, “i had to, my love, i had work.”

“no,” you breathed, softly shaking your head, letting out a staggering breath like you were going to cry. “i meant the first time.” you whispered.

it was shameful the way he slowly realized what you had meant. you didn’t sound angry or bitter. or even resentful even if you had all the rights to.

he didn’t respond. letting your words stew in his mind. the quiet in the entire house emphasized by the ringing in his ears. he didn’t know what to say.

what words you were waiting for him to say. what words he can say to make it all better.

he didn’t even know you still think about that. still thinking about your relationship, and what had happened, and why it ended the way it did.

still thinking about it like him, who sometimes find it difficult to sleep thinking about you and the pain he caused you. the regret heavy in his veins like lead.

he should apologize, probably beg or grovel about the way it ended.

he was about to.

but he hears your soft breathing again. the stillness in your body, only sleep can make that he realizes he’s lost his chance.

again.

he rubbed your thighs, still. hoping to lull you into a deeper sleep. he grabbed a glass of cold water and put a statis charm so it would stay cool. he petted your hair, and caressed your cheek. it was painful, and he struggled. but he eventually left. feeling the same amount of fulfilled and disappointment altogether.

it was the next morning where sirius was beckoned again, this time not by a call from his baby brother but by the usual pull of your magic. he had expected as much, even fixed up his hair and wore fresh clean clothes and even put on perfume.

he did it whenever he could. in case you were to need him.

he even has a couple of hungover potion in his pocket just in case.

when he got summoned, popping into your familiar bedroom like the nights and mornings before. he was greeted with you still buried under the covers, eyebrows scrunched and eyes already open. you looked like you’ve been awake for some time now, but still refused to move.

you looked so tired and groggy and so soft and warm and homely and pretty.

someone with a hungover shouldn’t look as good as you did. but you are. he ignores the flutters in his stomach, tightening into a coil and puts on an easy smile.

“good morning dizzy girl.” he sing songs. plopping down on your bed, making sure to bounce you a little as he did.

you groan some more, turning away from him, holding your head.

he softly laughs. reaching over to smooth out your hair, “did you drink water?”

“hn.”

he took that as a no.

“up you go, c’mon. drink, you’ll feel better.” he grabs the glass. still filled full and cool like last night.

sliding his rough hands under your neck and the other to your back. slowly sitting you up so you can drink. you give little to no protest at all at his touch and considers this a win. his lips feeling a little wobbly as he fights a smile.

you took a small sip and then a larger gulp, sighing after finishing the whole glass.

“i also have a hangover potion and a headache one that lily made, so you know it’s good—“

“you left again.” you rasped, a small frown on your pretty face, still turned away from him.

he stops.

it suddenly dawns on him how you’ve yet to look at him, or greet him like you do when he always appears. he chalked it up to you being hungover or the highly probable headache you must have. not sulking, or possible moping over the fact that he hadn’t waited for you until morning.

he feels his heart take up larger room than normal in his chest. the loud thrumming under his veins as his magic comes to life, the burning desire of it all, the ringing in his ears, his pulse loud and the heat coming to his face.

you weren’t playing fair.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers, scooting near you. reaching out to wrap his arms around your shoulders, then lightly tugging you to him, to lean on him like you did the night before. it was through his absolute delight that you let him.

giving him the courage to continue his ministrations.

“you said you’d stay.” you softly whined, voice muffled by his neck. your hands gripping his shirt.

so unfair.

he’s fully hugging you now. he tries to fight the sigh that threatens to come out of his mouth from having you in his arms again.

he hadn’t expected for you to remember last night, what with constantly falling asleep. he should’ve prepared for it though.

“i’m sorry.” he repeats. this more graver than the last. this apology carrying more weight and more reason, when he remembers your last question.

“you always leave.” he feels something wet touch his neck. his hearts clench, the image of your tears too clear for him. “always leaving me.”

he tries to lean back to get a good look on you but once you felt him move away, you tightened your grip. now wrapping your own arms around his waist. sirius doesn’t know how to feel. suddenly wrapped in your warmness and the familiar feeling and the guilt that you’re crying over him.

again.

causing you pain, again.

“i know, i’m sorry.” he hates that it’s all he can say. hates he can’t say anything else.

so you ask, “why?”

why?

he knows what you’re asking isn’t about why he’s sorry for leaving. he knows you’re asking something else. one withheld from you from the very beginning.

why do keep calling me nicknames?

why do keep touching me?

why do i feel this way?

why can’t you stay?

why did you leave?

why didn’t you love me back?

there’s a lot of answers he’s withheld from you but he starts from the one heavy on his mind.

he suddenly wonders if you’ve been left wondering too.

if it keeps you up at night, and having no one to answer it. if it eats you up and if you regret being with him, the same way he regrets ever leaving you.

“i didn’t think that— you would want me to stay, after what i did. i didn’t dare myself to even think you could still want me— or even be around my presence at all.” he says this quiet and so close to your ear.

you let him go now, leaning against the bed post instead.

sirius instantly wishing for you to come back into his arms again, but he refrains.

“you thought i didn’t want you?”

“who would?” he laughs, albeit a bit self-deprecating but hoping you’ll take it as a joke. you only frown. “sirius, of course i would still want you. you’re the best thing that happened to me.” your eyes looked so clear then, so sure.

so sure it burns him.

“but i hurt you. i caused you pain, i’ve disappointed you again and again—“

“you didn’t disappoint me.” you grab his hands, your touch still so soft like he remembers it. “i was hurt, yes, but that wasn’t your fault. it was my own fault for giving you more than what you were comfortable with.”

he shook his head, frowning hard. “don’t do that.”

“what?”

“be understanding,” he laughs, incredulous. “taking responsibility for me being a shitty boyfriend to you for being a complete arse to you.”

“you did what you could. what with everything you went through?”

he turns away, but you grab his face with your other hand, and tilts his chin up.

“all the things you’ve had to endure? i know you try to hide your struggles with it all. but i see you. i see all the things, all the extra steps you have to take to become better than what your parents set you out for. and now look at you, making it out on your own. making new friends, no trace of the anger and bitterness they tried so hard to embed in you. i loved you for it all, and i understood why you couldn’t, even if it hurt. because that’s how people love. you love someone even if they have all the capabilities to hurt you more than anything in the world— and i have loved you for so long. and i might’ve not understood this when we were younger, but i do now. i wasn’t asking for apologies because i’ve long forgiven you for everything in the past. but i wanted to know what it is you felt. why you felt the need to hide the reasons from me.”

he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

you let his face go. but he grabs it. incasing your hand in his.

mind sticking to one thing he feared.

loved?

has he lost his chance again?

have you deemed him unnecessary?

“you don’t—?” he sighs, stopping himself, that wasn’t important right now. especially not if you were looking at him, looking so patient.

he started slow, contemplative if he can articulate it well enough for you to understand. “i didn’t think i could ever be capable of love, or be anyone you could ever want and need. because you’re amazing. when you said you loved me for the first time, i thought i was dooming you. my family. my circumstances. i thought i was going to ruin you and i couldn’t live with the thought of doing that to you. so i thought that leaving would be for the best. i tried to leave. tried and convinced myself it was for you. that i had to let you go for you. but i couldn’t do it. selfish as it is, i couldn’t let you go.

“i even found a way to stop the bind, but thinking that my last connection with you would be gone, and you would forget about me—have a life without me there, i couldn’t. because, because i love you. i have loved you from the moment you smiled at me. it terrified me, how much i love you and how much i was willing to do anything for you. i love you more than i could ever understand and i’m sorry if i couldn’t say it that time, i’m sorry if this is a bit late, but i love being needed by you. i love being around you. i-i need you, more than you could ever need me.”

he didn’t notice the tears spilling to his cheeks before you wiped it away for him.

your eyes looking so soft.

“you love me?” you breathed.

as if it was unbelievable.

as if it wasn’t possible.

sirius hates himself a little more at the thought he might have caused some insecurity for you.

because it was ridiculous.

“i love you.” and like a broken record, he repeats it. again and again and again. much firmer than the last.

and you smile, so big and beautiful. and your eyes shining and so pretty. it was like the sun was shining so much brighter that day. like the clouds were opening up in the sky and bathing you in a golden glow.

he repeats it again, because he’s spent so many years holding himself back. and if your reaction is the same every time he says it then he’ll say it everyday. with every sentence, with every greeting, with every meal you cook for him. with every night he picks you up from a pub absolutely sloshed. with every irritating conversation he has with his baby brother. with every teasing quips from the lads. with every secret smile you give him. every time he touches you, every time he looks at you. because gods, don’t you look absolutely magnificent and unbelievable right now.

“i love you,” he repeats.

“i love you too.” you laugh. like your smile was getting too wide and too happy that you had to laugh.

and his heart soars. couldn’t stop himself even if he tried, as he leans in and captures your lips like he’s done so many times before.

thinking himself a proper idiot if he ever thought he could ever live without touching your lips ever again.

he touches your face like he did the night before. he grabs your waist like he always does. and he tilts your heads like a time before. he tastes a salty thing as your tears slides near his lips and he relishes in its taste.

he feels the warmth spreading to his entire face and body. feels the humming of his magic intertwining with yours. your soft mouth moving against him. and the stretch of your lips, smiling into the kiss.

he pulls away even if he didn’t want to.

“i love you,” he says again, and you smile at him so sweetly.

he repeats it because of your pretty smile.

and again. because he can.

Alexithymia

PRONOUNCED - alex·​i·​thy·​mia | /əˌleksəˈTHīmēə/ DEFINITION - the inability to identify and express or describe one's feelings.

PAIRING - Tsukishima Kei x Reader WC - 7.5K (oops) GENRE - Smut, Angst, Fluff CW - oral (m!receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, multiple rounds, multiple orgasms, im insane?

PREV PART | MASTERLIST

The three days that you had to wait until the party felt like they took forever.

It was three days of avoiding telling Aiko and your other friends where the hickeys and the bruises came from. Three days of trying not to give a snarky reply whenever Tsukishima spoke - and missing the drop in his features whenever you neglected it.

Three days of leaving your shared classes just before the bell rang so that he didn't have the chance to catch you in the halls.

Now, however, you were both trapped in Aiko's house with the rest of the team and selected other close friends. You knew this house like the back of your hand and if you really tried, you could completely avoid him and every other person in this house all night.

But then, if you were going to do that, you might as well have not come. Aiko would have had your head for that. So instead, you chose to do something that you knew would piss Tsukishima off. You latched yourself onto someone that he hated.

Kageyama Tobio.

You had spent all night flirting with Tobio and it honestly, had you feeling mentally drained. He was cute, you wouldn't deny how absolutely adorable he was and how easily he flustered made you laugh. But he was also so so oblivious.

Oblivious to the batting of your eyelashes as you looked up at him. Oblivious to the soft touches on his arm while you over-exaggerated laughs.

You'd been at it for nearly an hour now, overdoing your flirting with Kageyama without so much as a glance towards Tsukishima. You really didn't have to look to know he was watching.

You could feel it. His eyes, drilling into your back, golden as the sun and burning just as hot. All it would take was a bump to send him over the edge you'd brought him to. You just couldn't seem to press the right button yet. A bump. A bump was all you needed.

A bump was what you got. Straight to the back from someone you didn't see as they passed behind you.

You lost your balance easily, the alcohol aiding in your unsteady legs as you felt yourself start to fall. Tobio was just as quick in catching you. His arm wrapped around your waist at lightning speed, pulling your body into his.

At that moment, you'd forgotten all about what you had been trying to do to Tsukishima. Your hand, the one not holding on to your drink, braced itself on Tobio's chest.

"Are you okay?" His voice came in a whisper, compared to the half-shouting you'd been communicating at to be heard over the music previously. It made you realize just how close you two were.

You swallowed hard as you felt his chest vibrate under your hand while he spoke, his defined muscles pressing into your skin. You looked up at him in awe, your cheeks heating up as you nodded lightly.

You froze for a second, he really was pretty and it was a shame that he was taken. That and that you weren't actually into him. It was a shame that even though your face heated up at the proximity, your usual snarky demeanor dropping, there were no feelings that flooded you except for the wish that you could swap him with Kei.

You shook the thought from your head as quickly as it entered and quickly detangled yourself from his hold. You glanced off to the side, willing your face to cool down. "Sorry, I'm so clumsy." You laughed lightly.

Just as Tobio's hold released you, a colder grip wrapped itself around your wrist harshly. "Excuse us." Tsukishima's voice came out clenched and before you could register his face or even turn back to catch Tobio's reaction, you were dragged away through the crowd.

"What the hell!" You tried to shout, to yank your arm back. You were only met with silence, his grip tightening as he continued to drag you along.

You caught a glimpse of his face as he expertly weaved through friends and strangers alike, no one paying either of you mind as you passed them. His eyes were fixed forward, eyes trained on something you couldn't quite see yet. His jaw was clenched so tight that you swore you could see every muscle of it outlined through his skin.

Your back met the door of a closet, only a split second after you'd seen it, as he shoved you inside. You watched him glance over his shoulder briefly, making sure no one noticed as he slipped in after you.

You waited for the door to close and the second it did, soft light from the bulb hanging above you filling the room, you shoved him as hard as you could. Pride filled you as he stumbled slightly from the force but you couldn't take the time to revel in it right now.

"What is your problem?" You hissed the words at him, shoving again. He had to take a step to steady himself. "Where the fuck do you get off dragging me around like that!?" You snarled at him, going to shove him again. He easily stopped you this time, prepared for it; he snatched your wrists out of the air and pulled your body flush to his.

You froze against him. Heat filled your face again, similar to how it just had with Tobio, the proximity getting to you. You hated that your fight faded from your body as his hand came up to cup your jaw, his thumb tracing along your lower lip.

You let him part your lips gently as you stared up at him, caught under his gaze and the soft touch of his rough fingers. His eyes softened as they trained on your lips, but only for a moment. They hardened again as he made eye contact, grip on your jaw tightening. You grimaced at the feeling, eyes beginning to water.

"Don't fucking look at him like that again." A possessive growl came from his chest, vibrating against your body. It took every ounce of your willpower to jerk your jaw from his grasp.

"What are you talking about?" You felt the fire flare up behind your temper. You matched his glare, stubbornly looking up at him in a challenge.

"Kageyama!" He nearly shouted the name and quickly lowered his volume as he realized it. "Kageyama and you giving him that fucking look."

The words fell out through clenched teeth as he pressed you into the wall. His hand wrapped around your throat, not roughly, just lightly to pin you in place. You swallowed down the fire of your temper, letting it leave your eyes and flow into your cheeks. You hated how easily he could reduce you to what you were now - staring up into his eyes, drinking in the golden sunlight of them and knowing that you would regret it the second you looked away.

"This look." Tsukishima's fingers tilted your head towards him more, tracing the column of your throat, his face came closer to yours, eyes soaking in every curve of your face. "The look you're only supposed to give me. The one you get when I hold you like this-"

The look you got when you were drinking in every feature you could and thinking how beautiful he was up close. Thinking about how much you were going to hate when he let go.

"The one that tells me you're mine." He growled in frustration again and the softness that had started to creep into his eyes left again. "Don't fucking look at him like that again." He pressed you harder against the wall, lips falling to your neck. "Promise me."

Your eyes fluttered shut as you held on to the last shreds of your resistance. "What am I supposed to promise?" You refused to let yourself fully give in to him yet.

"That you're only going to look at me like that." His words were as rough as his hands were as he grabbed at your clothes, attempting to push them off your body. "Only fucking me." You whimpered as his hands dragged you impossibly closer to him.

The sound of something crashing from the other side of the door made reality crash down on you with it. What were you doing?

Your hands found purchase on his chest again, and again you roughly shoved at him. "Don't tell me what I can and can't fucking do." You growled as he stumbled back, his touch leaving a searing pain in its absence. "I'm not fucking you in this closet at a party full of our friends."

He quickly moved in front of the door as you reached for it and you groaned in exasperation. "Fucking move, you stupid lamppost."

"Please." Your eyes snapped up to meet his as the word fell from his lips. Your anger seemed to falter as you took in the pleading look in his eyes. "Let's leave here then." You couldn't reply, your eyes only widened as his hands came up to cup your face, thumbs softly stroking across your cheeks as he kept your face tilted up at him. "Just come home with me."

His voice was soft and it seeped through every crack in your already feeble resistance, filling you up as your heart squeezed in your chest, willing you to walk away from this back and forth you had.

"Please, y/n, come home with me." The nail in the coffin of your heart. You nodded without thinking and then you were being pulled out of the closet and back through the crowd.

His grip on you was softer this time, an arm wrapped around your waist rather than fingers gripped around your wrist. Guiding instead of dragging. You couldn't take your eyes off him, everything else was merely a blur as you wove towards the front door and then to his car.

You finally came to as you stopped at a red light two streets away from Aiko's house. The leather of the seat stuck to your bare thighs as you stared out the window. Neither of you dared to speak, tension so thick in the air as you almost didn't even acknowledge each other's presence. Almost. His palm lay heavy on your thigh, fingers sprawled across it, burning through your skin.

You let him drag you out of his car when it was stopped and up the path to his dark house. Every step you took, you ignored the same part of your brain begging you to run from what was stirring inside of you. To leave before the last of your will to hate Tsukishima broke away.

The second that the door locked behind you both, his lips were on your again. It was bruising movements as he nipped at your lips, invaded your mouth with his tongue. He lifted you easily into his arms and carried you down the hall. Every one of your senses were flooded with him.

You inhaled his cologne with every breath you took, the scent dizzying to you as he swallowed the soft moans you let slip out. Your back hit the door of his room and he supported you with one arm under your ass as his other reached blindly for the handle.

He ground his hips desperately into yours as he opened the door, the heat in your core slowly flooding your whole body, craving more of his touch. Your doubts were suffocating you but all you could do was kiss him more as he slammed the door shut and pushed you back against it.

He dropped you back to the ground and pushed you to your knees without a word. Your legs didn't give much of a fight as you fell easily, his hand coming to cup your jaw roughly to keep your head against the wall and at eye-level with the bulge in his pants.

His thumb pressed between your lips, dragging and hooking onto your lower teeth to pull your mouth open. Your tongue brushed across the top of his nail and he groaned in response.

His eyes hungrily watched your lips as you ignored every protest your brain was making about letting him get away with this. His free hand gripped the neck of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head in a fluid motion.

You trailed with the him of his shirt, your eyes traveling up his torso, drinking in every ripple in his muscles as they flexed under his movements. When he was free of his shirt, as much as you could stare at his body all day, you made sure to bring your eyes back to his face - where you truly couldn't help yourself from always looking.

Your fingers fumbled with the button on his pants, undoing them as quickly as you could without letting your eyes leave his face. You pushed them down with one hand as the other immediately wrapped around the length of him, easily pumping up and down. He stepped out of his pants as you did, kicking them to the side as his hips involuntarily bucked towards you.

You felt his thumb leave your mouth and you licked out, tongue wetting your lips along with his tip. He responded with a hiss at the sudden sensation and his hands quickly wound themselves into your hair.

Impatience flooded both of you and you quickly wrapped your lips around him, sucking him in the way that you'd grown accustomed to. Your tongue stroked along the familiar veins running down the bottom of his cock as he pressed further into your mouth. His head fell back as a soft moan left his lips, his fingers tightening their grip.

You whined around him as he pulled lightly on your hair and bucked into your mouth again. "Fu-fuck." He moaned, looking back down at you and hardening his gaze, any softness he wanted to treat you with leaving his features. "Do that again."

It was a command you followed, moaning around him again, sending vibrations up his length as he held your head against the wall, thrusting against your gag reflex. Tears sprung to your eyes as the entrance of your throat clenched around his tip. Tsukishima moaned again and pulled your hair.

"Come on, I know you can do better than that." A smirk pulled onto his lips as he ushered in the challenge, pulling back from your mouth a little bit, so his cock rested comfortably on your tongue. "Do better."

One of his hands left your hair and tapped on your cheek lightly as you hollowed it out, sucking gently on him. His eyes were locked onto your own watery ones, refusing to leave them.

"Fuck you look so pretty like this." You whimpered at the roughness of his voice compared to the words that it formed and your jaw went slack for him. Open for him to use.

He thrust back in quickly, reveling in the way some of the tears in your eyes started to fall as you hit the back of your throat again. Your chest heaved as you tried to relax your throat, to ease the ache, and he pushed further in.

Your eyes squeezed shut and your throat involuntarily tried to push him back out. Your head tried to jerk backwards but the wall behind you and his grip on your hair refused to let you move even an inch.

He thrust hard a few times, spit collecting around the corner of your lips, mixing with the tears the dripped down your cheeks as you gagged around him. "Yeah, fuck, like that." He groaned but pulled back lightly, leaving his tip in your mouth.

You coughed and sputtered, gasping in air from the small space he left you. But the panting coming from him above you sent heat pooling between your legs despite trying to catch your breath. You willed yourself to look back up at him.

His face was flushed a pretty pink as his eyes watched the drool fall from your lips, down the length of his cock, and onto your chest. The look of him there, so enraptured by you, made you stick your tongue out more, trying to open wider for him.

He thrust in again, picking up a fast pace. Gags and obscene noises were pulled from your throat. Your tears ran hot down your cheeks, your body contracting as you gagged, more of your saliva soaking his cock.

His tongue poked out of his mouth as he held onto your hair tighter with one hand, the other running through his own hair, mussing it while he moaned loudly. His head was dropped forward, eyes locked onto your face as he fucked your mouth.

"Look so fucking hot on your knees for me." You let out a strangled whimper and he growled out as he felt the sound travel up his length. "Fuck, only ever look at me like this." You made a pathetic attempt at nodding up at him and he breathed out a laugh, picking up his pace. Your lungs burned as he narrowed his eyes and got rougher with his thrusts, like he remembered why he was mad in the first place. "Never going to fucking look at him like this."

He let out another loud moan while he abused your throat, losing a bit of control to his thrusts. You lifted your hand, prepared to tap out of the assault. He stopped on his own accord before you got the chance.

He pulled away from you quickly and you realized how much his grip had held you in your place. Your hands braced on your knees as your body fell forward. You gasped around the saliva falling out of your mouth and down your chin, mixing with your tears.

His hand wrapped around your elbow and hauled you to your feet before you could clear your head. The ache in your knees caused them to buckle when your weight was set on them and you knew that you would fall if he wasn't supporting you. You only had to deal with being on your feet for a few seconds before they left the ground again as he tossed you onto the bed.

His hands were back on you before your body could stop bouncing onto the mattress from the force. Roughly gripping your hips and easily tearing your clothing from your body.

"So fucking gorgeous like this." He praised softly as his hands trailed from your hips to your thighs. His hands changed again, from their soft grazes to a rough grip on the backs of your thighs as he spread them, hooking your knees over his elbows.

You squealed in surprise, head feeling dizzy from his treatment as he yanked you towards him with hands on your waist. Your eyes fluttered, moaning as you heard him spit onto your exposed cunt.

You had barely registered the feeling before you felt him slam his entire length into you with a single thrust. Your eyes flew back open and a loud, squealing gasp left your lips, your nails finding home digging into his forearms.

"Fu-fuck. K-Kei." You stuttered as his head fell forward with an elongated curse of his own.

"Feel so fucking good around me." He didn't even give you a second to catch your breath before he was pulling out and slamming his hips back into yours again. The angle was just right and your vision got blurry as you immediately started to feel your orgasm building.

He offered you no mercy as he battered against your g-spot, his pace fast and rough, unforgiving as unfiltered moans fell from your lips.

"Kei!" You cried out, your grip tightening as you felt your back arch, pressing your chest closer to him. "Kei fuck- I'm gon-" You were cut off by the form of your own half moan, half scream that tore from your throat as he fucked into you even harder at your declaration.

"Fucking already?" Condescending as he let out a scoff, the bit of it was taken away by the moan that left his lips immediately after it. "Fucking cum on my cock then baby," he permitted, "cum the way that only I can make you."

His grip on your waist dragged you down, across the bedsheets to meet every thrust he gave and you whined at the possession he had over you.

A slew of curses rolled off your lips, slurred by your own saliva and your tongue that couldn't quite cooperate with you, as you felt your entire body tense up. You clamped down around him and his eyes squeezed shut, determined to keep his pace and angle.

You could barely feel it as your back arched off the bed, your head falling backwards as your orgasm crashed into you like a freight train. One of his arms moved to keep your back arched like that, giving him a deeper angle as his pace, his roughness refused to let up, fucking you through your orgasm.

The sound in your ears felt muffled, but you could still hear the wet slap every time his hips met yours again. The sounds got progressively louder, sloppier as you gushed around him. Your orgasm didn't even make him pause. The tip of his dick brushed against your g-spot with every thrust into you.

It felt like he was trying to get even deeper inside of you as you clawed at his arms and choked on moans and cries of pleasure. You weren't sure if that goal was possible, but damn did he try.

"You take me so fucking well." Your body clenched up again at the praise he pushed out through his teeth. "Yeah," he responded to your body, "you like being told that?"

His eyes held yours and you could almost pinpoint an emotion behind them that you couldn't read. Almost but not quite, not having the time to focus on it as he gave you another particularly hard thrust. Your head fell to the side again and you waited for his next comment. Waited for the degradation that came from him every time you fucked.

"Prettiest fucking thing I've ever seen." He growled out and a gasp ripped from your lips. You swore you must have misheard him.

As if he could read your mind, he leaned forward, his chest pressing against yours. One of his hands came up to grip your jaw, bringing your face back to his, forcing you to hold his eye contact.

"Cum again pretty girl, give me another one." And with the way he was looking at you, the words falling from his lips against yours as he continued his rough pace... your body had no choice but to comply.

You tumbled over another edge that you hadn't even registered being close to. Your vision of him blurred out around the edges, white spots decorating the image. He swallowed every moan you gave with breathtaking kisses and reciprocated with moaned praises into your mouth.

"Just like that baby." He cursed as he fucked you through your orgasm, trying to draw it out. "So fucking beautiful for me." He let out a broken moan and his thrusts started to get sloppy. "All mine." He possessively gripped onto you, his voice begging for you to comply, to corroborate.

"All yours." You whimpered back through a moan.

You kissed him again as you registered his own muscles tightening up, his length twitching inside of you. The moan that he let flow into your mouth was high-pitched and broken. Pulling your body impossibly tighter to his, you felt him paint your insides with his own orgasm.

He collapsed onto you for a second before rolling off, disconnecting your bodies as he did so. You both laid there in almost silence, your legs dangling off the bed and chests heaving as you were surrounded by the sound of both of you trying to catch your breath.

As your vision cleared up, the tingly feeling in your body had begun to be replaced with something else. The tightening in your chest as you thought about the words that had fallen rom your lips. Words you desperately wanted to be said with love. But you knew better.

You knew that tomorrow you would see your friends and he would pretend that he didn't know where the bruises that littered your skin were from. You would lie for him. Tomorrow, he wouldn't even look your way as you watched his every movement and hung onto every sarcastic comment that left his tongue.

You couldn't do this anymore. Let yourself be confused by this. By him. You needed to stop thi-

"I don't need anyone else seeing you like this."

Your eyes snapped open and your head turned to look at him, so quickly that you were sure you heard it crack. That was the least of your concerns. You didn't even remember your eyes having fallen closed or hearing his body shift so that he was looking at you.

9 simple words.

That was all it took to reignite the hate in your veins for the man next to you. You pushed yourself up, ignoring the scream from every fiber in your body at the movements.

"Yeah, I get it Tsukki." You whispered it, shaking your head as you searched for your underwear first. You spotted the fabric and made for it. "Don't want anyone else to see me under them and looking like at them like that and-"

You cut yourself off as you slipped back on your underwear, furrowing your eyebrows at why your vision was blurry again. You could hear him shift behind you but your focus was on your hand as it came away from your cheeks, wet. Tears. Great. You clenched your teeth and brushed away all the wetness you could and worked on finding your bra next.

"That's not-" Tsukishima groaned and you heard his feet hit the floor as he got off the bed, "y/n would you wait a second." He voice was softer than usual but you refused to look up at him, spotting your bra by the door.

"Listen, Tsukishima." You clipped your bra into place and grabbed the shirt laying only a few feet away. "This has been fun, really." You sniffled and quickly his it with a clearing of your throat. "Great stress relief and you're a great fuck."

You forced the words out, letting the words freeze over as you pulled the shirt down over your torso and turned to find your shorts. Tsukishima stepped into your path. He'd pulled his boxers back on but you were too busy to care.

Busy with holding back all your emotions. You chose one to zero in on and you let it out. "Get out of my fucking way." You growled out, fixing your eyes onto his chest with a glare, refusing to look up at his face, knowing that you would break if you did.

"Stop fucking walking around." He grabbed your upper arms to hold you in place as you tried to push past him again. "Just, would you listen to me!"

"I don't know where you get off!" You shouted then, trying to rid yourself of his grasp, struggling unsuccessfully. "We're not together." You seethed and his grip loosened. "I'm not your fucking girlfriend." The words burned as you spit them out and you barely registered his arms dropping away from you.

"What makes you think that you can tell me what to do!?" You shoved at his chest and he took a step back. You spun on your heel and tried to locate the shorts you'd been wearing. "You can't fucking play with me like this." It was quieter than your shouts, but you knew he heard.

He was in front of you again in a second. This time, his hands cupped your face and forced you to look up at him. "Just give me five minutes. The quietness of his voice made you freeze, your eyes locking with his.

Worry was written all over his face, pouring from his furrowed eyebrows to his glazed over eyes. It drifted past his lightly parted lips, to the tensed up muscles of his body as he stood rigidly in front of you. It seeped from his hands holding your face softly and contaminated you too.

His worry kept your eyes locked on his and your body frozen in place. Stopped the words in your throat and the breath in your lungs. A sudden heaviness that neither of you were used to.

"Please, don't go." He whispered, begging you. "Please just stay. For one more night."

You can't help but think your ears were faulty because you could have sworn his voice cracked the slightest before he continued.

"I know you hate me. God you have every right to. But just let me have you for one more night. I need you for one more night." Your chest tightened as you looked up at him, a rush of emotions overloading you and you couldn't figure out which one to feel most. "I don't want anyone else to have you this way. To see you this way."

You chose to feel the hurt the most and opened your mouth to yell at him. He only cut you off again.

"Just shut up for a second!" He clenched his eyes shut as he raised his voice. You stopped and he sighed, opening his eyes again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" he swallowed and slowly re-established the eye contact he'd broken.

"I'm trying to tell you, but I don't know how." He let out a frustrated huff of air and you could swear that there were tears starting to form in his golden eyes. "You have to understand," he begged, and this time you knew his voice definitely cracked, "I've never done this before." He looked down at you with such a softness that you could feel every ounce of hatred starting to leave.

"Stop looking at me like that." You whispered, pleading with him as you tried to grasp onto the feeling of hating Tsukishima Kei. The feeling that was slipping through your fingers. The one feeling that had been protecting you from him.

"I can't." He sighed and started again.

"Y/n, I don't want anyone else to see you the way that I see you. to see how you nibble on your bottom lip when you're trying to keep up with taking notes in class. To see how you look when your fingers subconsciously change your hairstyle at least three times a day. And every time I look back at you it's like something about you has changed because of it.

"I don't want anyone else to look at you the way that I do, to see you in every state and still be filled with the same feelings. To live off of your need to reply to every sarcastic word I give you with one of your own. I don't want anyone to struggle to gather their thoughts around you the way that I do. I don't want anyone to steal glances at you when you're not paying attention."

He groaned in frustration as you looked up at him with wide eyes, trying to process what he was saying to you. "Dammit!" He shouted and turned his head to break the eye contact again. But his hands never left your face. "It pisses me the hell off that I can't stop fucking looking at you." He turned his head back to look at you again.

"Please don't leave yet." He whispered the plea, leaning down to bring his forehead to yours. "I don't fucking hate you." His eyes searched yours for confirmation, for resistance as he went to close the gap between your lips. You didn't offer any. You let your eyes fall shut as his lips brushed against yours softly. "I fucking wish I did."

You gasped into his kiss as his hands cupped your face softly. He didn't make you lean up far to kiss him like he usually did, instead bending to your height, meeting you where you were, molding his body to yours instead of the other way around. His body trying to beg you to stay. He didn't have to. You weren't leaving.

The warmth that was filling your body was different than the usual heat that came when he touched you. His hands that usually seared their brands into your skin now smoothed over your body and left a softer warmth in their wake. A feeling that spread across your skin like wildfire without any pain, consuming you from the outside before filling up your insides.

His hands fell from your face and traced softly down your sides until they rested on your hips, drawing you closer. "Please." He mumbled against your lips as his fingers found the hem of your shirt. You stepped back and pulled the shirt from your body before finding your way to his lips again.

"Wanna show you." He whispered the words into your lips before moving to your neck, kissing the skin softly. The feelings that were gracing your skin left you gasping for air, completely foreign coming from him. Foreign but completely welcome.

His fingers unclipped your bra clumsily, none of his usual smoothness present as his fingers trembled against your bare skin. Like it was the first time he was touching you. His grip came to your ribs, his fingers splaying out, covering as much space as they could as if trying to touch every inch of your skin.

"Kei." You moaned his name softly as he kissed across your collarbone. He brought his face back to meet your eyes and you could see his adam's apple bob as he gulped nervously. "Please." You whispered. It was the permission he needed. He connected your lips again, desperately parting yours with his tongue as he deepened your kiss.

He guided you easily back to his bed with a tenderness he'd never shown you before, easing you onto the mattress before climbing over you.

He hovered for a moment, eyes following as his fingers traced down your side to your hips to hook around your panties. His eyes burned into your skin as he looked at you silently, and you had to force yourself to stay put, to ignore the need to curl away from the intensity of it.

"You're so beautiful." Your eyes glassed over again and you were glad he didn't see it as he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder. His fingers passed over your skin lightly, his lips following, pressing soft wet kisses to your torso that had you letting out quiet breathy moans.

"I swear I was made just for you." He whispered as he pressed a final kiss into the divot of your hip. Your hips bucked lightly towards him, a gasp leaving your lips at the mix of his words and the attention to the sensitive spot. He pulled down your panties and his boxers quickly, moving to hover over you again.

His lips connected to yours again and you wound your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer to you as he lined himself up with your entrance. "I love you, y/n." He whispered the confession against your lips, letting you breath it in as he pushed into you slowly.

The feeling of him filling you up again left both of you moaning into each other's mouths, unable to tell which sound was elicited from you. It had only been minutes since he was last inside of you, but this time, it felt so much different.

You let the last sliver of hatred for Tsukishima Kei slip out of your system as he moved slowly against you. Drawing out as he pushed his tongue inside of your mouth and drinking in your moans as he pushed back in, slowly.

"Could never feel as good as I do with you." He whispered, one of his hands lifting your hips slightly, changing the angle he pushed into you at.

"Fuck Kei." You gasped out at the sensation, head falling back against the pillows as he head of his cock brushed against your g-spot.

"Nothing sounds as sweet as when you say my name." He whispered into your neck as he repeated his motion, pulling another soft moan of his name from your lips.

"You're so fucking beautiful." He groaned, head falling into the crook of your neck as he panted against your skin. You could feel his weight shift, he tried to keep it mostly off of you while trying to ensure as much of your skin touched as possible. "You're an angel sent to me." You felt yourself tighten around him as you gasped and he let out a soft moan.

"Kei." You whined as you felt his fingers find their way to your clit, dipping to collect some of your combined arousal before rubbing tight circles around it. "Please."

You whimpered as you felt your orgasm start to build from the way his cock brushed perfectly against your insides in a steady rhythm. Soft curses and moans fell from your lips as he continued the languid pace, no rush between you this time, just letting your bodies fit together on their own terms.

"I'm all yours." He mumbled into your ear. You turned your head and caught his lips with yours again, open-mouthed kisses mixing the sounds of your moans. "Please, let me be all yours." He begged into your mouth and you nodded mindlessly. He pulled away a fraction, "just say the words," his voice cracked as you felt his thrusts stutter.

"Mine." You whispered back, kissing him again. You gasped as you tightened your arms around him. "You're mine." You whimpered and his fingers picked up their pace between your bodies. Your back arched up into him and you whined into the kiss, feeling yourself start to tip over the edge.

"Cum with me, please." He begged, voice whining into your mouth as he sent you both tumbling over. Your body tensed up, tightening around him as his hips lost their rhythm and he spilled into you.

He held himself inside of you with a grip on your hips as he continued to kiss you. He kissed you as you settled from your dizzying release, all of your emotions crashing over you both.

When he finally pulled out and rolled off of you, you were still panting for air. Trying, still, to get a grasp on what had just happened as emotion after emotion tidal waved over you.

"Please," he whispered, and looked over at him - really looked at him.

His blond hair was damp and messy, sticking up in a way that you were sure only you were allowed to see. His golden eyes were watching you carefully through the frames of his glasses, slightly glazed over but analyzing your movements like they always did.

His face was softer than it usually was, like it was when he was listening to music and thought no one else was around. There was no glare that furrowed his eyebrows together, not even the smirk that you loved so much was painted on his lips. The lips that were panting just like yours.

The ones that had spilled the words 'I love you' just minutes ago.

His fingers finding yours brought you back to reality again. "Please stay with me." He begged, you realized that he still thought you were going to leave as his fingers wove into yours, gently squeezing.

"I know that I'm hard to love," he whispered, water gathering in the corners of his eyes, "but please, please stick it out." He refused to break eye contact as you let him pull your body closer gently. "I swear that I'll be better."

You sighed and moved closer to him, settling your head under his chin. You could feel his body tense for a second before his arms wrapped around your frame.

"For someone so intelligent," you whispered, letting your fingers trace along his collarbone, watching the goosebumps that appeared under them, "you really can be such a dummy." You sighed and kissed his skin softly, pressing one to every small freckle on his skin that you could see.

"I never hated you." You mumbled out and lifted your head to look him in the eyes again, so he could see the sincerity in them as you said your next words.

"I've always loved you Tsukishima Kei." You pressed your lips to his and you both let out the breaths that you'd been holding, your emotions flooding into the kiss. "Only you."

Bonus: 

You sat on the bench in the mall quietly, your knees pulled up to your chest and your face resting in your hands as you watched an excited Shoyo pull his girlfriend up to an ice cream cart as she wore a faux-annoyed look on her face, only smiling at him when she thought no one except he was looking. You smiled and tugged on the sleeves of the oversized jacket you were currently sporting, the one that was sizes too big for you and smelled of your favorite scent.

You sighed and stood up slowly, letting your limbs untangle themselves and your jacket fall down over your leggings. You'd gotten here earlier than you'd meant to which meant that you were stuck third-wheeling with Shoyo and Amaya while you waited for the rest of your ragtag group to appear.

You didn't have to wait long before Aiko was slinging an arm around your shoulder and pinching at the loose fabric of the jacket with two fingers.

"Whose is this?" She questioned, tilting her head as she inspected it. "It looks really familiar." You laughed a little and went to answer, only to be cut off by another voice.

"Yeah, I feel like I've seen it before." Tobio was now standing on the other side of you with a thoughtful look on his face as he joined Aiko in the inspection of the item of clothing.

"It's mine." Kei's emotionless statement send all four of your present friends into what you're sure was a short circuit. It only heightened the effect when he pulled you back from the two by your sides and wrapped his arm around your waist, lightly pinning you against him.

"Why are you touching her?" He glared at Tobio from over your head but you laughed and lightly hit Kei's chest, calming him down as you made contact with him.

He looked down at you, a soft smile gracing his lips before he cleared his throat and his lips turned back into a straight line. The only thing still giving him away was the slightly pink tips of his ears as he pulled you further from Tobio and closer to where Tadashi was now standing with Aiko.

"When did this happen!" Aiko shrieked and you were suddenly aware that all of your friends were finally appearing just in time to gawk at Kei's arm wrapped around your waist.

You opened your mouth to try and explain but were cut off by Amaya's voice this time. "Yeah, well, we knew you were fucking, but no one thought you'd actually go public with it." Your jaw dropped and Kei awkwardly cleared his throat.

You felt your face heat up as your grip on Kei tightened. "I think I kinda want some food now." You awkwardly tried to change the subject and create a getaway from the impending questions.

"I could grab some if you'd like." Tobio offered and you quickly shut it down as Kei turned to him with a glare.

"No," you laughed as you began pushing Kei lightly towards the food court, "no it's okay. We'll be back." You walked quickly away from the protesting of Tadashi and Aiko who were demanding explanations of you and let out a loud sigh as you got out of earshot. "I don't want to go back."

You looked up at Kei who was glaring over you towards Tobio still.

"Do you forget he had a girlfriend and is just being nice to me?" He froze and his glare slowly softened as his eyes trailed back to yours. You smiled as his cheeks flushed a little and he grumbled under his breath. "Still just a dumb lamppost," you teased with a smile.

He rolled his eyes as he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you in easily. The smirk that you loved so much making its way onto his lips as he towered over you. "Keep talking, you little shrimp."

TAGLIST - CLOSED

@tetsuskei @universal-s1ut @cl-0-vr @kei-tsuki21 @ezraslights @integers

Lighthouse (Jason Todd x GN!Reader)

Word Count: 2.6k

Rating: PG-13 (Swearing and a bit of spice.)

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you enjoy this one-shot! Special thanks again to my cousin and @problem-bat for beta reading for me! I wouldn't be able to do these works so well without you guys!

Jason Todd was, to put it simply, an elaborate mystery that you've been itching to solve all school year. You've been sitting right beside him, partnered together for a few assignments, and even gotten so far as to consider him a friend. But as of late, every time you try to talk to him, he darts away or cuts the conversations short with half-assed excuses.

Since then, you've been trying to give him space, no matter how difficult it is. Occasionally you can feel eyes on you in class, your brain jumps at the thought that it could be his eyes. But, when you look in his direction, he's focused on his work, shoulders tense and the tips of his ears flushed pink.

The kid that lives next door overheard you talking with your roommate about this debacle the other day and she popped her head in, spouting about how that's how boys in her school act when they like someone. But you're college students, for goodness sakes. You aren't in middle school, so surely that isn't the case.

A lot of people had been afraid of him, with his massive, brick shithouse build, scars littering his face and massive arms, and brooding demeanor. But, you took one look at him and saw a big ol' teddy bear hiding beneath that grizzly bear shell. You think back to the casual conversations you’d had with him.

One day, about two months into your hesitant friendship, he’d come into class, bruised up and looking absolutely exhausted. His dark hair looked as though he’d been tugging at it from stress, the shock of white falling into a loose curl over his dark, furrowed brows. As soon as the professor had released you, you’d taken him by the hand, dragging him to the on-campus cafe. 

You hadn’t even noticed you’d been holding his hand until you were at the door. His big hand had dwarfed yours, fingers haphazardly intertwined. Upon realization, you’d felt your face heating, yet the rest of your body felt cold the second you slipped your hand away. 

When you’d looked up at him and your eyes met, you found that you could no longer hold his gaze like you once had. For this time, you feared drowning in his turquoise eyes, a willing victim to their depth. 

That had been two months ago, just before the winter break. Your feelings were far from fading, and you’d spent the whole break thinking about him, even beyond the few texts you had exchanged. When the winter break ended, the strange behavior on his end began.

Maybe… Maybe he figured out that you were starting to fall for him. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk because he doesn’t feel the same way and he doesn’t know how to let you down gently. The thought alone made your heart clench. The last thing you want is to lose a friend because you caught feelings.

Now, you find yourself feeling like a stranger to a boy who still floods your thoughts. You stare out the window, watching the snow fall, but your concentration on the fluffy white flakes is broken as you hear Jason sigh. You glance over at him and watch as he crumples the page he’s been writing on and starts writing again. 

Despite the distance you’ve been struggling to give him, you can feel the curiosity poking at you. But the way that he’s got his huge arm curled around the notebook makes it impossible to make out what he’s writing or drawing. 

When the professor dismisses the class, Jason bolts from his seat, but the crumpled piece of paper falls from his bag. You grab it to return it to him, but he was already long gone. Considering that this is the last class of the day, he’s likely headed home.

As you stare at the paper, that curiosity pokes at your brain again. You carefully open the ball and you see Jason’s elegant script adorning the paper and your heart drops into your stomach as you read.

"For you are the other half of me.

The bright light to the darkness of my world.

When I feel lost in an empty sea,

Your smile is a beacon leading me to shore

All-encompassing taste of glee,

Everything I want and truly need.

Pulling the fraying threads of my sanity

To tie them back together, my mind is at ease.”

Whoever this is for is very lucky, you think bitterly. As his friend, you should be happy for him, knowing that he found someone who inspires him to write such beautiful poetry. But as someone who has fallen for him as hard as you have, it kills you. 

You continue to stare at the paper before resolving to return it to him and own up to violating his privacy. Each step you take feels as though your shoes are made of lead as you make your way across town to his apartment. 

By the time you finally make it to his apartment, it’s nearly dark. Your face is stinging from the cold, your eyes burning from unshed tears, and your stomach churning from nerves. You try to take a moment to collect yourself before knocking, trying to stop your hands from shaking and to get a hold on your emotions. You’re so caught up in trying to collect yourself, you don’t even hear the footsteps approaching.

His deep voice breaks your concentration as he calls your name. “The hell are ya doin’ here, dummy?”

You glance up at him, but the second you see his face, the urge to cry slams into you like a wrecking ball. “J-Jay? I came to… I came by to give this to you. I… You dropped it when you were leaving class this afternoon,” you explain, jerking your arms out, the crumpled ball of paper in your open hands. 

You hear the rustling of plastic grocery bags being set on the floor, and feel his warm hand brush against yours as he takes the paper from your hands, uncrumpling it. As you wait for his response, the dam holding back your tears finally breaks, a steady stream pouring down over your cheeks. You’re sure he can’t see the tears, seeing as you can’t bring your face up from where you stare at his feet. 

“Shit. Jus’ don’t tell me ya read it,” he finally speaks, his voice soft. 

“I’m so-sorry,” you reply, your voice cracking. “I was just curious. I didn’t… I didn’t think it was anything so private, Jay.”

“Hey, I’m not mad at ya, dummy,” he assures you, placing a warm hand on your shoulder. “Jus’ feeling stupid. I shoulda paid better attention if I didn’t wanna have it read. I was ‘bout ta make dinner. Wanna join me?”

“I-I don’t know if that is a good idea,” you reply, your stomach still churning, voice still shaking, tears still streaming.

You turn to leave, but his large hand gently grabs your chin, tilting your head so that you have no choice but to look him in the eyes. 

“Ya can’t jus’ expect me to let ya run off on me like this,” he whispers, his turquoise eyes boring into your own. “Come inside, dummy. ‘m not gon’ make ya eat, but at least come in and get warm. It’s fuckin snowing, you’re already shiverin', and ‘m not a fan of sending anyone out into the cold, ‘specially in a state like this. Those eyes of yours are gonna freeze shut.”

He’s careful as he drapes an arm over your shoulder, gently leading you into his place. He helps you out of your coat and boots, before setting them near the heater to dry, and settling you on the couch. By the time he comes back in with the groceries that he’d left in the hall, you haven’t stopped crying, but at least you’ve stopped shaking like a leaf. 

You feel so pathetic. You’d promised yourself that you wouldn’t cry until you were out of his sight, yet here you were, softly sobbing like a heartbroken little kid, curled up on his couch. You can hear him rummaging around in the cabinets, and after a few minutes, you’re out of tears and he’s walking out with a mug of hot chocolate, a heaping pile of whipped cream on top. 

He hands you the mug and you offer him a weak smile in return before he speaks, his voice still gentle. “So, dummy, you gon’ tell me what’s got you cryin’ at my doorstep?”

“It’s nothing, Jay,” you manage to reply, concentrating on making sure that your voice doesn’t shake or crack again. 

You can feel him staring at you as you sip at the sugary concoction he’s given you. When you burn your tongue, you gently place the mug on the coffee table, careful to use the coaster he’s got sitting there.

“I don’t wanna push,” he begins with a sigh. “But it’s clearly not ‘nothing’ if you’re crying. Who the hell do I need to beat up?”

You manage a weak chuckle, shaking your head. “Jay, I swear, it’s nothing. I’m not going to tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Because, it’s stupid.”

He grabs your chin again, making you look at him as he speaks, “It’s not stupid if it’s got you upset, dummy. It’s killing me to see you hurt. You’ve got a big heart, we both know it. But, you don’t go around cryin’ over ‘nothing.’ 

“I’ve seen you cry when we’ve watched Titanic, The Notebook, and Bridge to Terabithia. But in the months we’ve known each other, I’ve never seen ya cry for no reason. If you’re crying, it's because you’re hurtin’ something fierce. Tell me that ya read The Fault in Our Stars again. Tell me ya saw that old commercial with the abused puppies in cages and the Sarah McLachlan song in it. But don’t sit here and tell me that you’re cryin’ over nothing. We both know that isn’t true.”

You can’t say anything. Not when he just, with the softest voice you’ve ever heard him use, read you from memory like he reads Pride and Prejudice. Not when he’s looking at you like that, raw concern in his pretty eyes. Not when he’s holding your jaw like you’re made of glass. How is it, within the span of September to February, he’s managed to memorize you?

You can’t help it. In a surge of emotion, you crash your lips to his. He freezes for a moment, but then his hands move to either side of your face, cradling your face so tenderly in his large, warm hands. He kisses you back with a slow, steady passion that sets your veins alight. 

It isn’t until you brush your tongue against his lips that he pulls away, his face red, hands shaking, and his eyes blown wide with lust. 

“I’m sorry, Jay,” you whisper, feeling ashamed as you turn your focus to your hands. You’re not sorry that you did it. You’re sorry that you didn’t ask for his consent before you did it. It feels like nearly every cell in your body is glowing and vibrating with excitement. Yet, you forced yourself on him.

“Hey, dummy,” he mutters with a small chuckle. “You wanna look at me?”

You do as he says and you see a big, dopey grin on his face. His eyes are filled with hope, light, and warmth, making your heart do a cartwheel. 

“Why are you apologizing,” he asks gently, hesitation obvious.

“I just jumped on you,” you reply honestly, and once you start, you can’t seem to stop. “I mean, you wrote that beautiful poem, Jay. I know that you’re interested in someone else and I just forced myself on you.”

“You… You think that I’m into someone else,” he asks, an eyebrow cocked as he shakes his head.

“I mean, it was so beautiful and you clearly had someone in mind when you wrote it. I didn’t-”

You don’t get to continue your thought as he pulls you back into him, pressing a searing hot kiss to your lips. He places his hands firmly on your hips, slowly lowering you onto the couch. You’re confused, but you can’t bring yourself to argue. This time, it's him that brushes his tongue against your lips. You open your mouth without a moment of hesitation, a low groan escaping his throat as your tongues intertwine. When you part for air, he easily moves his mouth to your neck, placing soft kisses to the flesh there in a way that sends a shudder down your spine. He gently nips at your neck and you find a whimper escaping your mouth. 

He pulls away after a moment of nipping and sucking at your neck, a proud grin covering his face as he examines the already forming marks on your skin.

“I’m. Going. To. Give. You. Three. Guesses. Who? Do. You. Think. That. Poem. Was. For. Now,” he mutters, punctuating each word with a soft kiss to your lips. 

“Me,” you whisper, unmistakable hope thoroughly lacing your voice.

“Damn right. Couldn’t get the balls to tell ya, so I was writing a poem to give ya tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Valentine’s Day, dummy,” he replies, allowing you both to sit back up.

“Oh.”

“If you liked the poem and me, I was going to invite you back here. I got all the stuff to make your favorites,” he offers, rubbing the back of his neck. “When I saw you at my door, I was hoping that you wouldn’t see what was in the bags and spoil the surprise. But clearly, I just spoiled it myself.”

“I thought you were avoiding me because you found out I liked you and you didn’t know how to tell me you weren't interested,” you confessed, feeling bashful. 

“I’ve been flirting with ya since OCTOBER, dummy. But when you hadn’t gotten the hint by Christmas break, I asked my brothers and my grandfather for help… They all said to spit it out and tell ya. But, I got so nervous, I felt like I was gonna hurl every time I tried to tell ya.”

“You’ve been flirting with me since October? The only thing that really changed in October was that you started calling me…”

“Dummy. I started calling you dummy. ’m not the best at this kinda thing, okay? When you held my hand on the way to that coffee shop back in November, I thought my heart was jus’ gonna up and burst. I’ve never… I’ve never liked anyone the way I like you.”

“Guess that neighbor kid was right,” you mutter, picking up your mug again, taking a hearty sip of the now cooled cocoa.

“Huh?” 

“Neighbor kid is about twelve. She said that boys her age start acting the way you did because they like someone. I told her that was silly, because we were adults, not kids.”

“Well, I guess, you make me feel like a child, dummy.”

You find yourself letting out a laugh as he bashfully speaks, “You know, if you'd like, I could read you the rest of that poem?”

“I’d like that, Jay.”

"Since the day I met you, you’ve enchanted me.

An unfamiliar comfort in a life of pain.

I’ve found that you are the other half of me.

The bright light to the darkness of my world.

When I feel lost in an empty sea,

Your smile is a beacon leading me to shore

All-encompassing taste of glee,

Everything I want and truly need.

Pulling the fraying threads of my sanity

To tie them back together, you make it look easy.

You are the lighthouse that leads me to safety

In the best of all of my dreams, it’s you that holds me.”

“Hey Jay,” you whisper as he finishes.

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me again?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” he mutters before crashing his lips back to yours.

Hi! I loved the first part of your Jason story. I noticed in your authors note that you said you might make some mistakes because English isn’t your first language (which always amazes me when people write in their not first language, especially as someone who only speaks English). Anyway I was wondering if you’d want mistakes (which I haven’t noticed any so far, just in the instance that it could happen) pointed out or not? Either way is fine and I’m really hoping not to be offensive or anything in anyway which is why I wanted to ask. 😄

sure as long as its not in a rude way! and its okay, you’re not being offensive, i actually want the what i write to be readable and understandable!

Jealous :J.T. x fem!reader

Summary/idea: by @littleprettykitten:

Suddenly i have an urge to ride Jason Todd, marking his neck with bite marks and scratching his chest, all jealous and possessive because someone was flirting with him. I want that hunk of a man mewling under me, saying my name like a prayer and telling me how much he loves me. I want bruises on my hips because he was clutching them too tightly and his teeth on my breasts and shoulders because that was the only way he could muffle sounds he was making.

So, here it is.....

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI!

***

„You know, usually it’s me who make you jealous like that. ….” She whispered grinding her hips more into him, causing a groan to escape his throat.

“I didn’t….”

“Sh, baby.” She pecked his lips, lightly, teasingly, pressing her body closer to his, nibble fingers running around his abs, chest and shoulders, barely touching, igniting his fire and the need for more “don’t talk….. just feel me….”

Barely a few hours ago they left the house, finally finding some time for the long-overdue date. The plan was simple – movie and dinner. Just spending time together with no rush, no fighting criminals, no patching wounds.

Well, it did not exactly go as it was supposed to.

Sure, they get to the movie theater, but from that, the things started to go downhill, making the date less than romantic.

“Can you go and buy the tickets, Jay? I’ll just take a quick stop by the bathroom.”

“Sure, princess. You go and powder your nose or whatever else you have to do.”

So she went. And when she came back, there was a unfamiliar girl talking to Jason and fucking twirling the strand of the hair on her finger, making doe eye at Y/N’s boyfriend, giggling in a way-too-friendly way.

“Are you here alone?” the girl smiled, putting a hand on his biceps. “It’s such a coincidence I am too. And I could really use some company. “

“I’m not really interested.” He muttered, moving away from her touch. Y/N was the only person in the whole world that were allowed to get this close to him.

“Why not? You seem like you are in need of a girl’s attention. Clearly you are touch starved and I know how to take care of a man.”

“I actually got a girlfriend.” He hissed

“ Really? She’s not doing much of a good job then” the girl laughed “besides, I don’t see her.”

“turn around!” Y/N called from behind, silent fury on her face as the girl spun and looked her up and down “now you see her.”

“I don’t see much.” The girl smirked, but before Y/N could start a fight, Jason stood up from his seat, wrapped an arm around her waist and led her straight toward the screening room, whispering soft, reassuring words in her ear and caressing her skin gently. That did not, however, stop Y/N from turning her head and throwing the daggers at that freak who dared to even come close to her Jason. She just smirked vindictively and both girls knew what that was supposed to mean. 

He’s going to be mine.

Well, over Y/N’s dead body.

Much to Y/N’s displeasure, the girl entered the same room and took a seat right next to  them. Oh, great, now the movie might as well not even exist. The only thing Y/N was able to concentrate on now was the smell of too much used perfume, slight, flirty giggling and annoying whispering.

“You know, I think you could play the main role in that movie” the girl whispered, not even trying to hide what she was saying to Jay “you are so much more handsome than the lead….”

“Could you just stay quiet?” he mumbled

“And so well-build” the girl continued, touching his chest “all muscles, so hot.”

“Will you stop this? I told you I’m not interested.”

“Come on, sunshine. You have a chance to take me home. Aren’t you at least a bit interested how it could be with someone who’s open to some experimentation? Not all vanilla?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Your girl, obviously. I know she can’t satisfy a man like you.”

“What the….”

“Enough!!” finally Y/N snapped and jumped to her feet, getting some shouting and cussing about disturbing the peace. Well she couldn’t care less.

“Y/N, baby, please sit down and try to relax….” Jason tried to calm her down, but she was past that. Her eyes were burning with rage and fury, possessiveness of him finding the way out.

“Relax? She’s trying to seduce you!”    

“And clearly it’s working” the girl laughed.

“Do you want to take this outside you little…..?!” before Y/N could finish that sentence one of the cinema worker appeared behind them and, well, to say the least, kicked them out. Awesome. One hell of  a date.

But frankly, it gave Y/N the opportunity to drag Jason back to their place and that’s how he ended up splayed on the bed with her straddling his lips and riding him like crazy, not allowing him to take any action or even a single breath.

“Baby….. princess…..” he whined grabbing on her hips and trying to force her to move faster. The slow, punishing pace she set was slowly making him crazy.  “please…. Don’t tease me. You know that girl there did not….”

“She was fucking flirting with you!” she hissed, pushing his hands away, pining them by his sides and slowing down even more making him throw head back in frustration “and you’re mine.” Leaning forward she started kissing his exposed neck, licking and biting hard enough to form a hickey. The sign of belonging.  In the most visible place he would never be able to hide. “I want you to remember that.”

“Y/N…..” he panted, once again trying to grab her hips, but being too whiny and putty and weak because of all her actions. He never needed to say a thing, the sounds, the groans and moans he was making telling her how much pleasure she was giving him. But…. She was possessive. She wanted more from him and wasn’t going to let go until he was completely falling apart beneath her. She wanted to make a mess out of him to the point where all he wanted was her , her body, her touches. She wanted to wipe the thought of the rest of the female race off his mind. He was supposed to think only about her.

“Do you want me to bond you?” her right hand started tracing patterns on his chest “cause I know how to do that my pretty boy. Unless you behave….”

“No…. no, please….. Ah, I ….. I want …. Y/N……”

“I love it when you say my name like that, Jaybrid.” She whispered in his ear, picking on the pace, skin slapping on skin, echoing through the empty, dark room.

“Y/N….” he whimpered, wanting more, more, more, but unable to ask her for it, settling on anything she would give him. Consumed by her. By the lust and need. And yet, still holding back. The way his face was twisting in pleasure, his eyes fluttering close, his breath hitching and how he was biting on his lower lip was telling her that he was fighting to conceal all the sounds she needed. Well not a chance.

“What do you want love?” one way or another, she was going to get them out. No matter the cost. And if biting on his earlobe, scratching his chest, grinding and circling the hips to create different angle and pushing past his limits was the way to achieve that she was not opposed to.  

“You…. I want you. Please…. So bad. More. More, please…”

“Tell me you love me.”

“I fucking love you. I love you. I am yours. Please, please…..Y/N. Y/n love, let me touch you. ”

“Jason…..” she whispered seductively, groping his pecks  “Jason…..” she was strong and the jealousy definitely spur on her dominant side, but she was still just a woman. With needs. And with her perfect man whining and begging for her.  And her control was slowly slipping. Slightly. “Yes. Touch me.” suddenly his hands were free, clutching her sides, pressing her closer, faster, further. Going in deeper, hitting that one spot where she needed him most.

“Ah!” it was now her turn to let out a moan. “Jason….”

“Y/N,….. Y/N…..” he chanted like a prayer, propping himself up, arms traveling to her back, trapping her  “I love you, I love you…. you….fuck,  so good.” Their sweaty bodies clung to each other almost like with glue, reaching for any part of each other they could possibly reach.

“Just good, huh?” she smirked, tangling fingers in his hair, pulling gently “just good?” her hot breath fanned over his sweaty, reddened face.

“Fucking perfect” he bit on her shoulder trying to muffle another groan and she shivered in pain and pleasure combined, tightening the grip on him, her hips moving on their own accord in the pace the legs were barely able to withstand. But she was far from giving up. She was going to catch her high.  

“Say my name again.” she commanded, breathily, being so close to the release. So fucking close. “I want to hear you say it.”

“Y/N.” his mouth travelled down her body, kissing her collarbone and sinking teeth in her the soft flesh of her breast, soothing the stinging pain with his tongue.

“Again!” she screamed throwing head back “Again!”

“Y/N. Mine. “

“Yes! Yes!” she screamed, holding him tighter “Jace, baby, god, please!” she was not going to let go before pushing him past his breaking point “Cum with me. Cum with me now! I fucking need you to cum! Inside, please, baby. Fill me!”

“Y/N!” at the end, overwhelmed by the feeling of her pussy clenching around him, his lustful brain finally helped him find enough strength to snap his hips against her, squeezing her hips tight enough to leave purple hand-shaped bruised.  “baby, my baby, my girl, my love.” He pressed his lips against her, kissing her frantically, with urgency and clashing teeth, throwing all his load inside her. So fucking deep, her entire body spasming in his embrace, nails clawing on his back, becoming one, not sure where he ended and she begun or the other way round.

“Y/N….” he panted pulling back and leaning his forehead on hers once his balls were empty and his cum was dripping from her pussy. “Baby….”

“You’re mine.” she managed to say “Mine. You hear me? Mine”

“Were you that jealous?” he raised an eyebrow

“Maybe. Maybe not. but fuck, you are just so hot whining underneath me.”

“I liked you on top.” He whispered leaning his head and pecking her lips gently, still keeping her in his embrace, their breaths slowly coming even.

“Really? Her eyes widened in surprise. “I mean of course you did. I am a fucking goddess.”

“Yes.” His flushed cheeks made this tank of a man look like a little, shy boy and damn, she loved that. She adored being the only one to make him this soft and submissive.

“We gotta do this more often than.”

@jasontoddsthickbabe - please forgive me, but I thought about tagging you.

GOOD hope he has a happy ending🙏

birds of a feather : ground rules

warning/s : suggestive content and smut, minors DNI

OCTOBER 18, 10:32 PM

location— atsumu miya’s car

following the end of your conversation with tobio, you throw your cellphone to the floor, agitated at how it turned out. you don’t know what it is that you were expecting, but definitely not the blatant rejection you faced. if only he would’ve rendered you a chance to explain yourself, maybe you could’ve roped him into hearing an acceptable justification. not that you didn’t try to explain yourself, it seems, you just failed to do a good job at it, or rather, there was no appropriate justification on your end.

the thud resulting from your cellphone hitting the ground makes atsumu turn his neck in the direction of the sound. he notices the cellphone laying on the ground, then turns to look at you and notices the frown stitched into your face.

atsumu puts two and two together and concludes that the conversation between you and tobio didn’t go the way you expected it to. he doesn’t want to implore, but ends up inquiring anyways, “what’s wrong, yn?”

“damn him, that tobio.” you grunt, continuing to complain, “i hate him so much.”

atsumu flicks your forehead, rolling his eyes, “i’m sure you don’t.”

“he’s your best friend, after all.” he stresses on the term as he drags you closer to himself, lifting you to put you on his lap.

he puts his arms around your waist, postulating, “he’ll come around eventually.”

atsumu nuzzles his head between your boobs, and you reflexively begin running your fingers through his hair, grumbling, “he could’ve at least heard me out.”

“some best friend he is.” you hiss, rolling your eyes.

atsumu slaps your back, taunting you, “we could say the same about you.”

“you ditched him for a random guy, after all.” he mentions, raising his head to smirk at you.

you purse your lips, mumbling, “you’re not just some guy, tsumu.” you lift his head to place a quick kiss on his lips. just as you’re about to withdraw, he pulls you in for a second kiss. his brisk hands unzip your dress and lugs away from the kiss, smugly smiling at you as he reaches to remove your hair-clip, allowing your hair to flow down your back.

he runs his hand through your hair, putting his forehead against yours, whispering against your lips, “i really hope i’m not.”

you kiss him on the cheek and descend to leave a trail of your kisses from his cheek right down to his neck. you open up the buttons of his shirt, giving him a hickey underneath his clavicle. you grin at him once you’re done, locking lips with him once again. he pulls away, fingers still meddling with your hair, chuckling, “marking your territory once again, are you?”

he points to the corner of his lip, brandishing the hickey you gave him earlier, before pulling you closer to him. he shifts your hair to the other side, pressing his lips against your neck, leaving a mark, making you groan. he claims, his warm breath condensing against the cold skin of your neck, “you’re mine, kitten.”

“only mine.” he asserts, kissing the blade of your shoulder, leaving another mark against your skin.

you nod, accepting his claim as you pull your body away from his. you rub your thumb against the skin around the corner of his lips, tainted by you, smugly smiling at him as you lock in his gaze, “i thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“i’m just a man.” he shrugs, kissing you on the cheek, then on the neck, followed by your shoulder, confessing, “i’m no fool to deny the touch of a woman like you.”

he drags your sleeves down, pulling the dress off your torso to reveal your brasier. he unlocks the hooks in a moment using a single hand, and rips the garment away from your skin, throwing it on the front seat. it reveals your breast. he slides your dress further down to reveal your abdomen.

he begins by kissing the undersurface of your boobs, then goes on to kiss your nipples, one after the other. the feeling of his soft kisses against your sore spot fires your nerve endings, turning you on, inciting you whimper. he then slides his hand underneath your dress, putting it against the inside of your thigh.

“in the car?” you shoot him a look, wide eyed, “are you insane?”

“shh.” he puts a finger to his lips, demanding no reluctance from your end before he moves his hand upwards along the skin of your thighs, making you ticklish as he approaches the strap of your underwear. he pulls at it, making you flinch when he releases his fingers the elastic recoils against your skin.

he engages his fingers with the strap of your underwear once again, pulling it down to clear his access. he advances his fingers towards your cunt, targeting your clitoris first and foremost. you moan loudly when his fingers run against your sore spot. he repeats the motion of his fingers yet again, demanding you to moan for a second time in row.

atsumu laughs, satisfied as his manoeuvre proves to be fruitful. he inserts his fingers inside your pussy, skilfully moving them around, stimulating you in an attempt to get you to cum. the motion of his fingers inside your cunt irks you to whimper over and over again. you finally cum when he brushes his fingers past your clitoris once again.

he doesn’t stop there. he intends on stimulating you further more. his fingers find themselves hovering around the same spot knowing far to well where your body prefers to be touched by him. he teases you by gently rubbing his fingers against your clit. you whimper, “t-tsumu, more.”

you mumble, huffing as you feel yourself cum and the cum dripping down your legs onto his pants, “p-please, more.”

atsumu laughs, razzing you as he wipes the cum off his pants and paints it on your lower lip, “now lick, kitten.” you don’t follow his order, too stupefied as your hormones are surging and all you want is more of him and the pleasure he has to offer you.

atsumu licks the cum off your lip himself, smirking as he gulps it down, praising you, “my kitten tastes so good.”

he confesses, entwining his fingers with your own, kissing your knuckle, “so glad you’re all mine to take.”

“aren’t you, now?” he drops your hand, questioning as he cups your chin, withholding your gaze, expecting you to answer.

you hum, still dazed, agreeing, “yes, all yours.”

“i’m pleasuring you so well, kitten.” he sneers at you, putting his fingers inside your needy cunt once again, urging you to cum as he glides along your walls and skilfully rolls his fingers inside you.

you cum with his fingers still inside your pussy. your fluid drips down his digits. he pulls his sticky fingers out of your cunt, and then puts them in once again, dictating, “you know you need to pleasure me too.”

“i know i—.” you nod, agreeing with him, but he cuts your words short, taking his fingers out of your pussy and cupping your chin with the same hand that was inside you earlier.

he licks the liquid off his fingers with his hand still on your face, giving you a taste of yourself when he kisses you. the sweet taste of your own mess dissipates on the surface of your tongue. he withdraws, putting his fingers on your clitoris, squeezing the spot, demanding, “kitten, i’m hard now.”

“and you better pleasure me.” he orders, smirking as you whine loudly, cumming once again, dirtying his fingers for a second time.

he withdraws his fingers and forces them in your mouth, letting you have another taste of yourself. you squelch, but you lick the cum off his digits. he stares you in the eyes with a smug look painting his face, while you’re in a complete haze, staring at him blankly as he removes his fingers from your mouth. he kisses you on the lips, appreciating, “you’re a good kitten.”

“now be better and make me cum.” he instructs, squeezing and nibbling at your nipples, coaxing you to whimper in pain and in pleasure.

you nod, accepting his demand of being pleasured by you. he throws you off him and points to his pants gesturing you to unbuckle and take them off. you struggle all over the place trying to unlock his belt and loosen his pants. you final achieve your goal, revealing his large, hard and veiny penis that stares you down, waiting to be put either inside your mouth, or your cunt, whatever seems easier to get into.

atsumu pushes you down, putting pressure on your shoulder as he lays you flat on the car seat. he climbs on top you, ready to insert his dick inside your cunt. he spreads your legs apart, entwines his fingers with your own, and pins your hands on either side of your head, against the car seat. he begins to put his penis inside your vagina, gently sliding it in. you feel his large self scaling your walls as his dick enters your cunt, and you feel it slide outside of you too.

although he’s been inside of you before, but because he’s so big, the feeling of his dick moving inside and outside of you hurts you and pleasures you all the same. he puts his wood inside of your cunt once again, hoping to stimulate your g spot and incite an orgasm on your end.

he continues the motion of his dick, sliding it inside your cunt, then pulling it out of you, and at a certain point, you’re overstimulated, moaning and groaning continuously. while he’s still inside of you, you experience a sexual high, an orgasm incoming, and you cum, tainting his dick. aroused by your neediness, atsumu cums as well, carelessly inside of you.

he takes his dick out of you, leaning in to kiss you on the lips. he gives you a break when he notices his erection is gone and his dick has softened. meanwhile you’re breathless and all over the place, but also overstimulated enough to cum once again. with the liquid dripping down your thighs, he makes an effort to lick it off and clean up for you.

once he’s done, he puts his weight on top of you, resting his head against your breasts squishing them under his weight. he places his hand on your cheek, patting it, praising you, “you were a good girl tonight.”

“i’m hungry.” you mumble as your stomach groans, making atsumu burst out in laughter.

he cracks a joke, “looks like i wasn’t enough for you.”

“clearly not.” you chuckle, joining in his humour, smiling tiredly at his face.

you surmise, gauging the state of the two of you, “we also need a shower.”

“mhm.” atsumu hums, nuzzling his nose between your breasts. he then slides up and kisses you on the lips before getting off you.

he takes a spot at the end of seat, putting on his underwear and his pant. he collects your underwear from the floor of the car and your brasier from the front seat, handing you the pair in order to slide the garments on. you stretch your hand and receive the garments, requesting, “i’m sore, can you pull me up?”

“sure.” he nods as he grabs your hand and drag you off the car seat.

he asks, gesturing at your brasier, remembering you had a hard time putting it on earlier, “need any help?”

you shake your head, signaling that you’d prefer to be aided by him. you turn your back to him, sliding your arms into the straps of your brasier. you collect your hair and tie it into a ponytail, allowing maximum visibility to make the task easier for him. he puts the hooks into their respective eyes, cupping your boobs, kissing your cheek as he teases you, “just making sure they’re secured.”

“you don’t need to.” you take his hands off your breasts, rolling your eyes.

you slide your underwear into position, then pull up your dress into the correct position, turning around once again, requesting, “can you zip it?”

“sure.” atsumu agrees to do it for you, helping you out.

he suggests, nervous hand scratching the back of his neck, unsure if you’ll consent, “you should spend the night at my place.”

“i don’t mean to force you,” he starts blabbering nervously, stuttering around his words, “i mean you can shower then we can have some food and sleep.”

you can’t help but laugh out loud at the nervous mess that he instantly became at the mere thought of inviting you over to his place. you find it ironic because he had no trouble thrusting his dick inside of you not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times so far. but now that he has to invite you to spend the night, he’s getting cold feet. you don’t think it’s embarrassing on his behalf, just comedic.

he isn’t sure what warranted your laugh, but it makes his more nervous, and he continues jabbering, “i don’t have anything fancy at home right now, but we can have some ramen.”

you keep staring at him with an amused expression on your face, letting him prattle and stumble around his multiple suggestions. you’re still in disbelief that this is the same man who has made sexual advances on you on multiple occasions and succeeded in subduing you every single time.

“maybe we watch a movie or two before heading to bed.” he goes on, rephrasing, “no, but a lot warm shower first, of course.”

you kiss him on the lips to shut him up for once and for all. he reciprocates, kissing you back. his hand finds itself dragging your sleeve down once again. but you slap his mischievous arm, halting him, “enough.”

“let’s go to your place already.” you push him off you, leaning toward the back door to open it up so that he can get to the driver’s seat.

“yea, let’s go.” atsumu mutters as jumps out of the back seat. he closes the door behind him, simultaneously opening the door to the front seat. he puts himself into the driver’s position and keys the car in order to get the engine going. he begins driving in the direction of his apartment.

you request, pointing to the stereo, “put on some music. won’t you, tsumu?”

“yes, kitten, whatever you want me to do.” he complies, turning the knob to raise the volume, proceeding to select a radio station at random.

in the backseat, you’re bemused at his choice of music, but before you can retaliate and coerce him to switch stations, your body, extremely sore from all the pleasure seeking tonight, drifts off to sleep almost instantly.

atsumu notices when his terrible choice of music doesn’t incite a response from you and he’s met with dead silence from the back seat. he turns around to check on you, only to find you passed out in your spot, neck hanging in the air without any support.

he pulls his car to the side of the road and gets out of his seat. he opens the back door to position your body such that you lay flat on the backseat in a rather comfortable position, as opposed to your previous one. he jumps back into the driver’s seat and begins driving towards home, reaching out to lower the volume of the stereo, declining the possibility of disturbing you while you’re sleep.

OCTOBER 18, 11:25 PM

location— atsumu’s apartment complex

once you reach atsumu’s apartment complex, he parks the car in his designated spot. he gets off to open the back door and grabs your purse first, sliding it over his arm. he then lifts your body off the seat as subtly as possible, such that you aren’t woken up by his movement. he carries you all the way to his flat, supervising diligently, making sure that any move he makes doesn’t lug you away from your slumber.

standing in front of the door to his apartment, he finds himself in a dilemma, unsure of how to reach for his key in order to open the door. with his hands busy holding you close, the task seems unachievable. left with no option but to disturb you, he whispers into your ear, “you need to wake up, kitten.”

“i’m sorry.” he apologises, kissing your forehead.

when you don’t wake up in the first go, he repeats, whispering into your ear, “come on, kitten.”

“it’s time to wake up.”

you feel his hot breath against your ear drum, forcing you awake. you flutter your eyes open, finding yourself in his arms, quite confused, unsure of the circumstances. after analysing for a moment, you realise you must’ve fallen asleep and he must’ve had to carry you all the way to his apartment.

you mumble, voice sleepy, “i’m sorry.”

“you can let me down now.” you say, yawning, jumping out of his arms, “i’ll be fine.”

you put your head against his shoulder, sleepy eyes on the verge of closure, and he supports you by the waist as he reaches for the key and opens the lock. he pushes the door open, entering himself. then, he take your hand, leading you in. closing the door behind him, he drops down to his knees to free your feet from your footwear.

you step back in hesitance, chirping, “you don’t have to.”

“please, i can do it myself.” you insist, squatting down to release the straps of your shoes, but you’re so sleepy, you lose your balance and fall to the ground.

you squeal, “ah, shit.”

“well that was certainly embarrassing.” you chuckle at yourself, rubbing the nape of your neck nervously. atsumu doesn’t laugh at you, he only makes an effort to help you out. he takes your foot in his hand, unbuckles your ankle strap and takes the heel off. one followed by the other.

he gets off the ground himself, then holds out a hand for you to take. you accept, putting your palm in his. he grips you by the hand and helps you, pulling you up. he instantly lifts you in his arms. you’re taken by surprise in the first few seconds but after a while, you don’t mind in the least. your muscles are far too sore to be put to work and if the cause for the same is aiding you with the commute, you aren’t going to be one to complain against it.

he carries you inside his apartment, leaving the genkan, and takes you straight to his bedroom. he puts your figure on the bed. without saying a word, he walks into his closet.

a muffled voice speaks from the inside, “i know you’re very tired, but i’m going to draw you a bath right now.”

“you should clean up.” he recommends.

he walks out of his closet with a towel, a pair of night suit that belongs to a female and one of his own hoodies. he puts the towel on the chair next to his mater bed, then places the two options on the bed sheet in the space next to you, pointing at the night suit, informing, “that belongs to rin.”

“and that’s mine.” he points to his hoodie.

he offers you a choice, “choose whichever you want.”

he shrugs, explaining himself, “i understand that rin’s clothes may make you uncomfortable, but i only brought them out because you’re the same size as her.”

“it’s okay.” you purse your lips at him, declaring, “i think i’m gonna go with your hoodie.”

he nods, quickly clearing rin’s outfit from the bed, “of course, not a problem.”

“the bathroom is right there.” he points to a door, guiding you to the bathroom.

you drop your back against the bed, babbling as you yawn, closing your eyes, “you go first.”

“i’m going to lie down for a while.” you say, turning on your side, drifting to sleep.

he nods, leaving you on the bed as he walks into the bathroom, “alright, i’ll be right back.”

atsumu takes a shower first, changing into a set of fresh clothes. he comes out of the bathroom to find that you’re still asleep in the same position he left you in. he sits beside you and leans closer to wake you up, when he notices your light snores. he chuckles to himself because he finds it absolutely adorable.

he tickles your feet, whispering in your ear, “it’s your turn now, kitten.”

you’re jolted awake by the ticklish sensation spreading across your foot plantar aspect. you whine, reaching out to slap his hand, “what the hell.”

“stop it.” you grunt, rubbing your eyes open.

he takes you by the waist and drags you out of bed. he picks up the towel from the chair, putting it on your shoulder.

he gives you a light push in the direction of the bathroom, instructing, “go take a shower, i’ll be in the kitchen.”

“okay, i’ll go.” you maffle, yawning as you enter his bathroom.

you close the door behind you, while he walks out of the bedroom and trails towards the kitchen to make preparations for dinner for two.

once you’re done, you put on his hoodie, tie your hair into the towel for the water to be absorbed by the fabric, and walk out of his bedroom. you navigate your path to the kitchen and find atsumu waiting on you, two packets of shin ramyun, a pot to cook it in and cutlery to serve, as well as other necessities arranged on the island.

“i was expecting the food to be ready by the time i made it out of the shower.” you approach him, sighing in disappointment when you find the packets of ramen untouched.

he raises his brow at you, wrapping an arm around your waist, dragging you closer, “is that why you took your sweet time, kitten?”

“precisely.” you nod, adding to his sarcastic remark, walking out of his hold to lift the pot off the marble top.

you take it to the sink to fill it up with water. he follows, turning the tap for you while you hold the pot underneath the stream of water. once it’s filled a little under the brim, he closes the tap and you place to pot on the stove. he turns on the heat, adjusting it to maximum so that the water will come to a boil faster.

“dry my hair, i’ll cook for us.” you instruct, releasing the towel that binds your hair. you hand it to him.

he accepts your request, putting the towel over your head, massaging your hair as he makes sure the remainder of the water is soaked up by the towel that has already done a good enough job. you turn around to grab the packets of ramen from the kitchen island. atsumu follows your lead, focusing on drying your hair while you move back to the stove.

you ask, cutting open the first packet of ramen to retrieve the cake of noodles, “how the hell did you come out of the bathroom with dry hair, anyways?”

“one, mine is short.” he justifies, dropping the towel over your shoulder. he pinches your cheek, mentioning, “two, i used a hairdryer.”

you sigh, slightly disappointed in yourself, “seems i completely missed it.”

“you can use it now if you’d like.” he suggests, picking the towel off your shoulder, putting it on your head once again, continuing to dry your hair.

you decline, insisting, “no, thanks. i should cook the ramen first.” you cut open the second pack to retrieve the second cake of noodles.

once the water comes to a boil, you add the raw noodles to the pot, minimising the heat. you take the tastemakers out of both the packets, putting them to the side. you peek around, looking for the bin.

you ask, holding out the waste in front of his face, “where do i throw this?”

he drops the towel on your head, collecting the waste from your hand and walks over to the bin in the corner of the kitchen to discard it. you continue keeping a watch over the noodles being cooked in the pot. he returns and begins massaging your hair once again.

“you’ve done enough.” you state, turning around to face him. you take the towel off your head and walk to the dining table in order to temporarily place it on a chair for it to dry a little.

you walk back to the stove to check on the ramen. you take a pair of chopsticks and pick a noodle out of the pot. you blow some air over it, then chew on the noodle to confirm that it’s cooked. once you’re sure, you turn off the heat and drain the water, adding the tastemaker to the pot. you mix it around, making sure it spreads evenly, before you serve the noodles in two plates.

you grab the noodles with your pair of chopsticks, and turn around to offer the bite to atsumu, “here, have this.”

atsumu takes up your offer, complimenting your skills, “good job, chef.”

“but nothing tastes as good as you, kitten.” he sneers at you, then closes the distance between the two of you to place a kiss on you lips.

you scrunch your face, disgusted, complaining, “really, tsumu? you had no business saying that right before dinner.”

“my bad, kitten.” he sighs, apologising.

he relieves your hand of the plate and places it next to the other plate that has been served. he wraps his arms around your waist, locking you in his hold. he kisses you, thrusting his tongue inside your mouth, playing around. you pull back instantly, wiping the saliva dripping from the corner of your lips.

“really?” you roll your eyes, whining in disbelief that he still wants more for the night after doing you twice already.

he mumbles, pushing the loose strands of your hair behind your ear, “of course, only if you want to.”

“my body is sore, i can’t.” you decline, pushing him off you. you move on to grab your plate of ramen and start walking towards his couch.

you reason with him, “besides, i need to finish my ramen before it gets cold.”

“of course.” he grieves, his smug smile lowering into a frown as he approaches his own plate of noodles and trails to the couch to join you for dinner.

he puts his plate on the coffee table, putting his arms around your waist, lugging you closer to himself. you’re busy eating your ramen while he kisses your cheek, then your neck, unwilling to let you go, unwilling to touch his share of the food. he isn’t desperate to eat his ramen, he’s only desperate for you. meanwhile you don’t think you can take any more action for the night.

he hugs your tighter, canoodling with you, mumbling, “you’re so cute, kitten.”

he puts his chin on your breasts, mentioning, “so squish, just like obi chan.”

at the mention of her name, obi chan appears, meowing. she jumps on top of the sofa, taking a spot on your lap. atsumu pats her butt, frowning, “obi chan, leave. we’re busy.” the cat gets off, agitated and starts walking in the direction of the bedroom.

“don’t act like a baby.” you warn him, offering a bite out of your own plate, “have the food before it gets cold, will you?”

he takes your plate away, putting it on the coffee table. you lean closer to the table to grab a hold of it, but he stops you and pulls the hoodie off you, revealing that you’re wearing nothing underneath.

“idiot.” you screech, quickly shielding your breasts using your hands.

he apologises, bowing down to you, “i’m sorry i didn’t know you were wearing nothing underneath.”

“i washed my bra and left it to dry.” you explain, vigorously pulling the hoodie out of his grasp to put it on.

he smirks, shrugging, “well nothing i haven’t seen before.” you slap his cheek, albeit not vigorously.

he pretends to be hurt, grunting, “ouch.”

“deserved.” you announce, grabbing your plate of noodles, continuing to dine.

you instruct atsumu, pointing at his untouched plate, “eat.”

he doesn’t bother following your order, instead he nuzzles his nose against your freshly washed hair, speaking in an undertone, “i’ll have it later.”

“right now, i just want you.” he reveals, interrupting the bite of noodles you’re about to gulp down, when he cranes his neck, putting it in the way to kiss you on the lips.

you return his kiss before shoving his face aside. you quake at him, playfully slapping his cheek, then pinching it, “you’re so clingy for someone who doesn’t even want me in his life.”

he wraps his arms around you again, pulling you in closer. you turn your head to kiss his cheek before going back to your dinner. he interjects your next bite, chowing it down himself, laughing at the offensive look that his action put across your face. you roll your eyes, preparing another bite for him, holding it out for him to take.

“i never said i don’t want you.” he confesses, moving your hair out of his way to nibble at your ear, stating, “i just don’t want a girlfriend right now.”

atsumu instantly drops down on one knee. you pay him no heed, knowing all too well that nothing worthwhile is going you drop out of his mouth over the span of the rest of the night. you continue eating the final remnants from your plate of ramen.

still on his knees, he grabs a bite of noodles from his bowl, holding it out to you, proposing, “miss yn, though i cannot make you my girlfriend right now, would you like to be my girlfriend who’s not my girlfriend?”

you know exactly what it means. it doesn’t take you long to figure out that he just wants to keep you around for the sex until further notice. he may proceed to make you his girlfriend or just use and drop you, whatever the future him decides. you want to deny deny deny, but you recall that you had a conversation regarding this issue with him prior this night and still ended up sleeping with him a while later. you’re definitely not god’s strongest soldier when it comes to this man.

“that makes no sense.” you roll your eyes, flicking his forehead, ordering, “get off the damn floor now.”

“fool.” you chastise him.

he stands up, taking his spot next to you, caging you in his embrace once again, nuzzling against you neck, mumbling in a dejected tone, “i’m sad that you rejected me.”

“you just asked me to be your fuck buddy.” you run your fingers through his hair, commenting, “of course i rejected you.”

he looks up at you, smirking at your face, making a claim based on your past experiences, “you and i both know you’ll be weak for me any time i ask you for it.”

“fair enough.” you accept, making no attempt to hide your lack of rigidity when it comes to man clinging onto you.

you give it a thought. you shouldn’t, but you still do. you look at the situation from all angles and you conclude that the worst that can happen is that you end up falling for a man who possibly won’t reciprocate your sentiments. that will probably equal to a few days of crying and whining to shoyou and yachi. but if the tables turn and you successfully make him fall in love with you, you’ll be a winner. the chances of the latter becoming a reality are rare, but you’re willing to take a chance as long as the probably of it isn’t zero.

it sounds stupid, but you can’t deny that you’ll never be able to decline atsumu’s approaches. if you’re to run into him ten thousand more times along the course of your lifetime, you’ll end up in his arms every single time, allowing him to take advantage of you as he pleases. you’re just that weak for some reason, lacking a spine. hence, you choose to no longer see the harm in accepting his shit proposal.

you welcome his offer, muttering, “whatever, i don’t care if we do this.”

“great.” he rejoices, embracing you tighter, kissing your head vigorously multiple times.

you interject his joy, “but i have a few conditions.”

“nevermind.” you drop the idea of mapping any ground rules regarding your arrangement, not that you had planned any to begin with. you didn’t even know you’d end up in an agreement of such nature with him. you were just about to make up some rules at random.

but you still lay down one single rule, “let’s keep our contact to a minimum.”

“we’ll restrict our contact only to our arrangement.” you make a declaration, holding out your hand to sign a treaty with the opposing party, “agreed?”

“agreed.” atsumu grins at you, shaking your hand, utterly satisfied in himself for bagging a girl so effortlessly.

彡 yn said yes to atsumu because of her big fat crush on him, other than the fact that she can’t say no to him.

彡 yn and atsumu ended up watching her favourite movie (how to train a dragon) before they went to bed.

彡 atsumu ended up asking yn if she’d like to spend the day with him and despite her own rule, she ended up saying yes.

彡 yn’s waffles tasted bland because she forgot to add sugar to the batter. so she had to compensate with syrup.

彡 atsumu posted yn on his official account on purpose. he very much intended to do so.

彡 chiyo is extremely happy about atsumu and yn being a thing because she likes tobio.

彡 atsumu picked out the lego set specifically for yn because she’s an artist and he wanted to give her something she would be interested in.

彡 for a change atsumu and yn didn’t end up sleeping together after their date. he just dropped her off at her dorms.

previous : ninth circle of shame

masterlist | next :

🐰 imma take my leave.

taglist— @wolffmaiden @viscoolreal @kafkassexchoe @luna-mothii @bomjug @le000xxgrd @dazqa @ineednanami @iluvaquaphor @debussy42 @choizzn @bunninio @empress-pug-pug @karasunoya @sereniteav @yuminako @reooreo @loveelylacey @nbcvs @whosmarjj @spicana

Hi! I don't know if you are still taking requests, but if it's so, can we please get an Atsumu x reader one shot, specifically, a one shot where Atsumu is scared of commitment, and reader just wants to get married, and due to Atsumu's fear of commitment, she wants to break up. Then he regrets later and tries to win back reader, realising that deep in his heart, he cannot live without her.

I'll leave the ending to you^^!

Hiiii I'm still taking them yes!

Anon? Anon? Did ya get on my brain or something? Hooooly moly this plot is so good let me kiss your mind smooch~

Pairing: Timeskip! Atsumu x Fem reader

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort

Warnings & content: grammar - Atsumu has an avoidant/anxious attachment style lol - overthinker reader- petnames - Reader owns 2 cats - Sometimes it's not about the screams, it's about what your words mean

He used to get into problems because of his "Big mouth" (Osamu's words, not his)

Being harsh on someone from the team "whatever"

Lying on Aran's or Samu's face (usually little things tho, like pudding)

Or right now, when after his girlfriend of 2 years showed him a video of a wedding dance and he dismissed it as:

"A pretentious celebration, don' understan' whats the fret about it"

"Well we are not dancers but still it is fun, don't you think Tsumu?"

"Ah 'm talkin' 'bout the wedding"

A needle falling could be heard after that butch of information

"Uh what?"

He just looked at you with an almost bored expression

"I'm not cut for that pretty, all that married lifestyle an' stuff 's just..... Boring fer me"

Your mood obviously shifted drastically. Of course, you weren't expecting that the man you love with all your heart and soul would overrule something you showed interest in such a cold way

"So what you are saying is..... You don't wanna marry me?"

He shifted his gaze from his phone to your face, cringing a little at your pretty obvious disgruntled expression

"We don't know what will happen tomorrow doll we jus' better enjoy our time now"

The shock travelling through your body made you shiver.

"'m jus' sayin'... Ya kinda lose some freedom when ya get married. It's complicated"

You opened your mouth but there was no sound going out of it. You really really didn't expect the evening to turn like this

Then there was set an uncomfortable silence

"Angel?"

"I'm sleepy Tsumu, goodnight"

The bed felt colder even when an hour later he joined you to bed. His arm circling your waist not representing the same love you thought about

The next morning he left with a kiss onto your forehead, an "I love you" and a promise to come back for dinner

It was a custom at this point in your relationship, but this time it felt fake

Why was he still with you if there was no prospect of the future?

Was wanting a wedding too much? Did he plan on to leave you at some point of your life?

The dampness in the pillow signaled you to get up and get ready for the day

For some people it would be dumb or insignificant. A wedding only being a legal paper, a contract, a figure, something done out of selfishness to secure an income or stuff like that

But for you, it was almost your dream since you were little. Glimpses of white, with little brown and gold details, maybe your pet as the ring bearer, and your future husband in all his glory smiling or even crying at the sight of you, like a princess out of a fairy tale. Vows evoking eternal love, promises of care and devotion. A signal of how much you loved that person.

Now that image was not going to be filled with Atsumu's figure nor your cats.

The pang on your chest made your eyes fill with tears again. You had never thought Atsumu would have such an strong opinion about marriage, to think that you two were not on the same page pained you to the brim to the point you had to sit down

You wanted to be selfless, you did. But what would possibly be holding him back that much? Wouldn't he even agree to a civil wedding?

"(...) all that married lifestyle an' stuff 's just….. Boring fer me"

It wouldn't be a lot more different to what you had now... Did that mean that he was bored now?

"Ya kinda lose some freedom when ya get married"

Were you that type of girlfriend tho? A controlling one? No, you were sure about that, so what type of freedom was he talking about?

Your thoughts weren't taking you anywhere, but you were sure about something

You didn't have a future with Atsumu

Meanwhile, on the MSBY's gym, a very restless Atsumu was trying his best to not let his personal life affect his work

But how could he not? When you, the girl he loved so much it hurt, asked for marriage

It's not like he despised the celebration itself, but to him it meant a big step he wasn't ready to take. No now, probably never

Why would you want to change what you had until now? The fact that you seemed so hopeful about it pulled the strings on his heart.

If he was honest with himself he kind of knew this conversation was to come soon. You were watching even more romantic shows that involved characters with healty depictions of marriage instead of the usual comic gag

Or sometimes caressing his ring finger

Still, he wasn't ready. So he hoped he could work things out, you always found the way to do it and while he was terrified of the long term feeling, he just knew he loved you and that was enough

Or so he said to himself

"I know you have a loud mouth but you could have word it in another way Miya"

"I panicked Omi ok?!"

Of course Sakusa noticed the change on his team mate and Atsumu felt he had to talk about it to someone. The raven haired man being his best option so he let all the story out

Sakusa sighed and finished packing his stuff

"I'm just saying Miya, usually this type of disagreements don't end fine"

"Are ya trying to cheer me up or make me feel like garbage?"

"Your words, not mine"

Atsumu could only look at his friend with a mix of a frown and a pout

"I'm surely not the one to tell you this but.... What are you so afraid of?" And like that, the curly man went out of his sight

Atsumu was left sitting on a bench fiddling with his fingers, wondering and thinking about it

While his parents marriage ended in divorce it didn't end bad, they actually did a good job Co parenting the twins.

His dad had shared that they simply felt out of love after so many years, so there was this lingering fear of "Maybe things aren't meant to be forever even if they are really good" What if that happened to him too?

He was sured he loved you, the butterflies in his tummy and the lovesick glances he pulled everytime you looked at his direction were proof of it.

But, what if?

He wanted to be happy as long as life could let him be

He sighed once again this time against your shared apartment, a weak smile forming into his lips watching the "welcome" cloud shaped rug you had insisted to buy the last trip to the supermarket

His nerves were eating his heart out but he knew it wouldn't be intelligent to run away to Osamu just like he did whe he was little. He wanted to properly apologise and show you clearly his fears (maybe he should start going to that therapy Bokuto was talking the other day)

"Angel I'm home!"

Total silence

Huh? That was weird? You always had music even if you were working in your laptop

Maybe you were taking a nap, sure

"Doll?"

He almost got a heart attack when he opened the door of your bedroom and found you siting on the edge of the bed

"Jesus Christ baby! Ya were as quite as a mouse oh my God"

While he clutched his shirt over his chest he noticed you hadn't answered to him. Worried he looked at you and man, he swore his heart skipped a beat

You were wearing your prettiest clothes, something you only wore in his or your birthdays. Something reserved to memorable occasions

But your composure lacked that welcoming and prideful aura you would carry in that outfit. Your smile was rigid, your posture almost as if you weren't welcomed.

He cringed internally trying to decode your demeanor

"Baby yer scaring me...."

"I wanna go out today if that's OK with you?"

"Eh?"

Your voice, soft and gentle. But not like you talked to a frightened animal, no. It was the tone you used when you don't want to upset a beast

His heart wrenched in his chest. You had never spoke to him like that

"'Course I want ta, W-whats the occasion?"

He didn't like how thick the air was becoming. How it was like all of his senses were prepared for the worst

"Just because" You laughed softly and kinda dry

He tried looking at your eyes, but your glance moved from one thing of the room to another, evading him

"OK, I'll be ready in a minute, wait fer me"

When he cleaned and dressed himself up you went out. He tried holding your hand several times while walking, but you avoided it

His chest felt constricted and he tried and tried until you finally held his pinky with yours. But the touch was barely there and honestly? It was killing him

You dined at you both favourite restaurant. Not too fancy not too "family inn". And it was your place, a fact that was making him feel even worse

And it wasn't better for you, your apettie was in the floor and you ate for the sake of your stomach, not having the energy to eat anything at all through the day.

At the end, he knew something was definitely up when you skipped dessert. Your most favourite one only being made in this place. He had to do something and he had to do it now

He proceed to pay the bill against your wide opened eyes and took you out. This time holding your hand entirely with his, taking you back home

It was at the stairs you halted and he let go of your hand, missing its warm

"What's on yer mind doll, please...."

He looked back at you and his breath hitched when he saw your uncommon impassible face with big tears running down your cheeks

But what made it worse, and what made him dizzy was the sentence that went out of your now wobbling lips

"This is the night I'm letting you free 'Tsumu"

"W-what?" his own voice turning shaky and breathy

"I kinda wanted to be selfish and spend a last night with you"

You had to take a deep breath, hiccups making your speech a tad bit difficult to deliver

"I just wanted to be with you a last time"

Last

Last

"I love you Atsumu, but we don't.... We don't have the same goal, we don't have the same mindset" You smiled weakly at him while he just looked at you in shock

You could almost swear there were a bunch of tears forming on his eyes

"And it's ok really but... B-but" You couldn't help the whine that came out, your pain, sadness, and everything else being put on a silver plate for your lover to see

"I just can't do this if I know you won't love me same as I do"

"I LOVE YOU!"

You gasped and flinched at the sudden raise of his voice. But more than anger there was desperation and grief into it

"I love you so so much its insane and I'm sorry, I-I'm sorry"

He was almost full on wailing like a child, just like when they're taken away form their parents on the first school day

Or how he cried when his dad went out of the door

"I'm terrified ya know? Terrified that all of this we've been living is just meant to end and I just-"

He looked up trying to stop the tears, unsuccessfully

"I don't think weddings are dumb or that I would lose something. But I'm so so afraid of what will happen if we settle down"

You were surprised of yourself when you cradled him into your arms. His own circling your waist immediately and holding you as if you were to disappear at any second

"What if you go away someday? What if I go away? What if this is just some cruel destiny's game?!"

His mind was fuzzy, feeling that your departure was seconds away stirred his fight or flight response

If his time with you was meant to end he didn't want it to be now, the overcrushing feeling of losing you now was greater than his fear of compromise

Right now, he was convinced he needed you more than oxygen, more than the sun, more than his own life

"Tsumu"

"But Please stay, don't leave. I don't ever want to have last things with you. At this point I don't even care"

When he looked at your eyes you could sense all of his renowned devotion

"I hurt ya and you suffered because of that. I swear it won't happen again.... Promise..."

After several minutes you both could only try to control your shaky breaths, dry the remaining tears and hold each other

"Marry me...."

"What?"

He pulled away, giving you just enough space to see directly at him

"Marry me....not right now but I..... I can only think of how miserable our life's are without each other and why would I mess up all we've done, all we've lived over a fear I can work on....."

Your eyes watered once again

"I don't wanna impose-"

"Yer not imposing..... I decide I wanna do this"

The strength of his arms were finally giving you the confort they meant to be

"If yer willing to be with this.... Broken piece of man..... Please stay by ma side"

He held your face with delicacy, as if you were the most delicate gem

And for your delight, you now recognised your beloved stare

"I wanna give myself to ya, make ya happy"

"Cuz you're definitely worth the try"

Not my brain fully functioning to do this instead of my grade paper

Writing angst for Tsumu is soooo satisfying as I said before. This was probably my fav rq until now (prob cuz I'm happy with the result)

Hope you like it! 💙

Natdu

If the batkids had a podcast

Redhood: I was a pretty easy child-

Nightwing: You were.

Redhood: Straight A's and everything. Like, I would be hanging out with Batman- (laugh) I would be- You know right?

Nightwing: Yeah.

Redhood: Just chilling. No patrol day. And he would be like "what do you want to do?" and I would be like- "Read! :D"

Nightwing *chuckles*: "Homework!"

Redhood: "Homework!". And then- And then I fucking died-

Red Robin: WHEZE.

Redhood: I fucking- Don't be a easy child.

Red Robin (chocking): Don't be a good kid.

Redhood: Don't be a good kid. Start- I don't know– Start throwing shit on fire or something.

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sub!tate langdon with mommy!kink, where he humps on her leg like a little needy boy to make it up to her after a fight, cockwarming kinda

Sorry Mommy - Tate Langdon

CW: dry humping, baby subby tate, dom reader, cockwarming, lots of whining

Taglist/ @v-love @evanpetersfav @demxnicprxncess @kitwalkersgfff @quicksilversg1rl @dahmevan @charsdunkie @iruzias @alexxavicry @soaringcloud @laynna-mcknight @slimshadyvol2 @simp4petermaximoff @happyto-die

Word count: 1241

You lay with your back against your mattress, staring up at the ceiling at the fan as it spun in slow circles. You tried to take deep breaths to help distract you from the fiery rage that was building inside you. Your boyfriend Tate had disappeared after your small argument, leaving you to plummet deep into your own thoughts. Your fight spiralled after it started with you telling Tate to stop leaving his dirty clothes all over the floor.

"Do you even care?"

"No, actually, I don't,"

"I swear, you never care about anything!"

"You're not being serious right now, it's literally just fucking clothes,"

"They're all over the floor Tate! Pick them up! I can't stand the sight of our bedroom right now!"

"I'm going, this is fucking ridiculous."

It's been almost half an hour, and your anger has fizzled down to a slight pang in your chest. You spent most of the time glancing over at the door, seeing if he'd appear, with the same puppy dog eyes he always gave you when he was sorry, and he wanted your forgiveness.

You try and stifle the smile that threatened to spread across your face when Tate finally appears in the doorframe, looking down at his shoes, kicking at the floorboards, his shoelaces untied.

He doesn't move until you let out a sigh, and pat the bed beside you, motioning for him to lay down next to you. His eyes lock with yours, and you can see how glassy they are. Your heart hurts seeing him so upset.

"C'mere baby," you coo, as he finally shuffles over to the bed, laying down on his side beside you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. He breathes in your comforting scent, as you lay your hand in his soft blonde curls, combing through them.

“What’s wrong?” You ask softly, as he kicks off his shoes, leaving his feet in mismatched socks.

“I feel bad,” he says quietly, not daring to look at you as he sniffles into your neck.

“You just have to be tidy Tate, that’s all.” you offer the solution, but Tate continues to sulk. He’s never been able to handle your arguments well.

“I don’t like when you’re mad at me,” he grumbles, his arm wrapping around your chest, his hand resting on your opposite shoulder.

“I’m not mad anymore,” you reassure him, tilting your head to kiss his hair.

“Yes you are, I can tell,” you feel the rough fabric of his jeans from around his crotch rub against your bare thigh, “I’m sorry, mommy.”

“It’s okay baby,” you breathe out, his leg resting atop yours to get a better angle of your thigh. With his face still set in the crook of your neck, you notice his breathing picking up pace, as he begins to rock harder into your thigh.

“Is something else wrong?” You ask him, lifting his head so you could see his face. His pupils had drowned out his dark irises, his face blotchy from crying, his lips red and swollen. He looked so defeated, but the bulge building friction against your leg said otherwise.

He just lets out a soft whimper, his hand on your shoulder coming around to creep under your oversized shirt, cupping and kneading at one of your bare breasts.

“Use your words Tate,” you say more firmly, his eyes glued to your parted lips, as he lets out a small cough.

“Yeah,” he answers finally, his lips attaching to your jaw, leaving wet opened mouth kisses. Your eyes close momentarily as you let Tate use you to stimulate himself, his erection only growing bigger with every brush against your thigh.

“Take these off baby,” you reach down to unbutton his jeans, unzipping them and helping him pull them down his legs. Now only in a soft sweater, his boxers and socks, Tate lets out more whiny moans, now only a millimetre of fabric separating his sensitive, leaking cock from your smooth bare skin.

“Momma?” He asks, his lips by your ear as he whispers into it.

“Hm?” You ask him, letting out a soft sigh as he sucks on your earlobe, his fingers pinching around your hard nipple.

“Can I.. go inside? Just a little, I just wanna- I wanna feel you,” he says, blush rising onto his cheeks.

You smile at him, cupping his cheek with your hand and kissing his soft lips. He groans softly into the kiss, as your hand comes down between you to palm him through his boxers. He’s quick to prod at your mouth with his tongue. You open your mouth wider to allow his tongue to fight with yours, your kisses soppy and ringing in your ears.

You pull away, biting your lip as your thumb strokes his defined cheek bone. He looks into your eyes hopeful, and so fucking needy, trying not to furrow his eyebrows from the pleasure your hand is giving him below.

“Okay baby,” you reply, the smile on his face making your decision so much more worth it.

You pull down at his waistband, his erection finally springing free from the confines of his boxers, swollen and seeping pre-cum. The sight alone almost made your drool, before you pull down your own underwear, lifting your shirt so it’s balled around your ribcage.

You turn to your side, your bare ass now up and rubbing against Tate’s throbbing cock, begging to enter you.

“Now mommy?” He asks politely, holding his cock in his hand and stroking it softly. Your hand comes around between your bodies and takes over his, guiding it towards your entrance.

“Just a l-little- please,” Tate begs, as his tip enters between your pulsing folds, your other hand coming down to rub at your clit.

“Ohh fuck mommy,” Tate groans, as he pushes himself further inside you, stretching you out deliciously with his length.

“That’s it baby, you stay there okay?” You tell Tate, as he bottoms out inside you, his toned stomach pressed against your back.

“Feels so good, my god,” Tate whines, kissing your shoulder through your shirt, his fingers digging into the fabric.

Tate can’t help but move his hips, thrusting slowly and only a little bit in and out as small moans leave his lips. You grab his hands, bringing them around to your breasts again for him to knead.

“I’m in heaven,” Tate mumbles, “see I’m so sorry mommy, you make me feel so good, I promise I’ll be tidy.”

“Good baby,” you say, receiving a small kiss on the cheek by Tate, “Mommy’s gonna make herself cum on your cock okay?”

“Okay, please,” Tate replies, as you begin to bounce back against him slowly, feeling his fingers on your bare breast, and your own fingers circling your clit.

His needy whimpers in your ear as you contract around him and his cock twitching inside you drives you crazy, soft moans leaving your own lips as it’s your turn to use Tate for your own pleasure.

It doesn’t take you long to cum. When you did, Tate sucked on the skin of your neck, and suddenly his pace quickened inside you.

“Oh my god- Tate!” You moan, his whimpering turning to grunts as he too finishes, inside you, and refuses to leave once he’s done.

“Feels s’good mommy,” he nuzzles his head back in your neck, wrapping his arms around you, “I never wanna leave.”