#limplettuce

#limplettuce

Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out

Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..

Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend

Bro: touche…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so you like girls?

Me: yep

Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?

Me: maybe

Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO?? 

____________________________________________________________

Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?

Me: sure… $10?

Bro: okay

Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three

Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….

____________________________________________________________

Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU

____________________________________________________________

Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?

Bro: yeah?

Friend: what’s that?

Bro: basically she’ll date anyone

Friend: think she’ll date me?

Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so…how was narnia?

____________________________________________________________

Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too

Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?

Me: ew no

Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS 

____________________________________________________________

Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type

Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type

Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce

____________________________________________________________

Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?

Me: hopefully

Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??

Me: no?

Bro: dammit…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur

Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you

Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!

____________________________________________________________

Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?

Me: what?

Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food

____________________________________________________________

Bro: aw fuck

Me: what?

Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl! 

Me: no thats okay-

Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???

More Posts from Whitewolftattoo and Others

5 years ago

I really wanna watch this movie

Ruby Bridges was the First Black Child To Desegregate The All-white William Frantz Elementary School
Ruby Bridges was the First Black Child To Desegregate The All-white William Frantz Elementary School
Ruby Bridges was the First Black Child To Desegregate The All-white William Frantz Elementary School
Ruby Bridges was the First Black Child To Desegregate The All-white William Frantz Elementary School
Ruby Bridges was the First Black Child To Desegregate The All-white William Frantz Elementary School
Ruby Bridges was the First Black Child To Desegregate The All-white William Frantz Elementary School
Ruby Bridges was the First Black Child To Desegregate The All-white William Frantz Elementary School
Ruby Bridges was the First Black Child To Desegregate The All-white William Frantz Elementary School
Ruby Bridges was the First Black Child To Desegregate The All-white William Frantz Elementary School
Ruby Bridges was the First Black Child To Desegregate The All-white William Frantz Elementary School

Ruby Bridges was the first black child to desegregate the all-white William Frantz Elementary School in Louisiana during the New Orleans school desegregation crisis in 1960.

This movie made me cry, I was so heart broken by how Ruby Bridges was treated! She was only 6, but was so strong. She is a very brave girl and she did not care what the white folks called her.

People are simply disgusting to minimize people by skin color!

Ruby you might not think you’re a hero… But to other people you are! You are A HERO and you are A PERSON WHO MADE AMERICA CHANGE!

8 years ago
Fave Totally Canon bryke-official Posts So Far
Fave Totally Canon bryke-official Posts So Far
Fave Totally Canon bryke-official Posts So Far
Fave Totally Canon bryke-official Posts So Far
Fave Totally Canon bryke-official Posts So Far
Fave Totally Canon bryke-official Posts So Far
Fave Totally Canon bryke-official Posts So Far
Fave Totally Canon bryke-official Posts So Far

fave totally canon bryke-official posts so far

8 years ago

(I could not make this shit up)

My apartment has windows facing the street, meaning I can hear pretty much everything that happens on the sidewalk beneath them. And this morning, just as my side of the street was getting the cars cleared for street cleaning, I heard some dude outside go, “C’mon, I just want your number, is that so much to ask? You’re so pretty, you know?”

Well, in light of recent conversations, I was like RED ALERT, and bustled my nosy butt outside to see what was up. Sure enough, a guy in his mid-to-late thirties had stopped his car, gotten out, and was now following a girl down the street. And when I say a girl, I mean a teenager.

Now, I’m brave and stuff, but this guy had shown himself willing to go so far outside the socially acceptable boundaries of behavior that I was pretty sure if I called him on this he wouldn’t take it well, and I was weighing my options when, like an angel of mercy and goodness, a parking enforcement officer came rolling up and she got out. First she saw me and was like, “Is this your car?”

And I was like, “It belongs to that guy down the street hassling that girl.”

And bless this woman’s heart, she gave this great eyebrow and was like, “EXCUSE ME SIR, UNLESS YOU WANT A $75 TICKET I SUGGEST YOU MOVE.”

I will give him credit for balls of steel, because he actually said, “Hold on one minute, I’m talking to my friend,” which, NOPE.

Fortunately the officer is like, “Sure, I’ll wait a minute, and in the meantime I’ll be writing you this ticket.”

So the dude goes grumbling back to his car, and of course he can’t park it anywhere nearby, so he drives off. In the meantime, I ask the girl if she wants to come inside for a minute to make sure the dude left, which she did, and sure enough DUDE CIRCLED AROUND THE BLOCK LOOKING FOR HER (I watched him while the girl was inside getting acquainted with my dog) before taking off. The girl is 18, she didn’t know the guy, and the whole time I was driving her to her brother’s house she kept trying to figure out what she’d done wrong.

Not all men harass women. But all women - and girls - are harassed by men.

5 years ago

My friend had a tattoo that she thought said "Happiness" in japanese. My old japanese boyfriend looked at it and asked "Why do you have -to have fun- tattooed on you?" Then drew her the proper way.

Fresh Off The Boat, S02e11
Fresh Off The Boat, S02e11
Fresh Off The Boat, S02e11
Fresh Off The Boat, S02e11
Fresh Off The Boat, S02e11

fresh off the boat, s02e11

8 years ago

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

5 years ago

Help, my little brother posted this meme on facebook and my grandma commented. I can't. This is too much 😂😭

Help, My Little Brother Posted This Meme On Facebook And My Grandma Commented. I Can't. This Is Too Much

Tags
7 years ago

This was a post from my old tumblr that I can't get on anymore

So, I work in a bar thats uniform requires the servers to wear short skirts, which is totally fine but I have a tattoo on my thigh. It’s of the Dauntless From Suikoden IV but people instantly look at it and ask, “so where are you from if you have a ship?” And when I tell them its from a video game they get confused when i say which one. But the other day the typical routine started and when i said what its from he got incredibly excited and practically jumped out of his chair. That was probably one of the best moments of my life honestly…. XD

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whitewolftattoo - Videogames And Shit. Tattoos as well
Videogames And Shit. Tattoos as well

tattoo artist from Alberta, reposting random things and sharing my art ❤ bi

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