Last Chapter Of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite Up Today!!!!!!

Last chapter of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite up today!!!!!!

Last Chapter Of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite Up Today!!!!!!

Guys!!!!!! The last chapter of The Great Wish Movie Rewrite is up today!!! Read here: Link

This rewrite was so much fun! It was especially pressing for me since we can all agree Magnifico deserved better! Haha. It's a good thing we can always rewrite these things if we need to, and have a lot of fun doing it, too! Thanks to everyone who read this novelization/rewrite to the end! Link

Excerpt: Chapter Ten: Rosas Restored

Magnifico awoke on top of his tower.

The hopeful hum of the wishes had returned.

He sat up on the stone cold floor, and stared at them floating in the dawn with utter reverence for so long he almost forgot his kingdom was still in ruins.

He reached out to let one land on a finger. “How glorious.” 

The skies above told him two days had passed since he'd entered the black hole. 

He had so much time before him now.

Magnifico got to his feet, and walked out onto the edge of a platform. He looked down upon his kingdom of sticky rubble and wreck. “I have a great deal of amends to make,” he sighed as he bowed his head. "And I do not blame my people if they do not forgive me after this." 

The first thing he did was to snap his dark staff in two, and toss it over the tower's side into the sea. He picked up his old, less potent sceptre and used it to close up his tower again, its spiked platforms folding in from their star shape back into a dome that protected the wishes once more. Then he went down from his tower, out into the streets where he used it to stop the rhinoceros still barreling around. He shrunk the animal down to the size of a mouse, and gave it to a little girl skipping past to keep as a pet, and she was too overjoyed to be scared of him when he handed it to her.

“Why bless my soul! It’s Magnifico,” said a peasant woman when she saw him strolling around the town, putting things back in order. 

“It is I!” he said as he shot down the dragon with a fiery arrow from his scepter, that crashed down into the forest, and he looked so disarmingly cheerful that a grin nearly escaped her as she took in his metamorphosis, and everyone wondered what had come over him a second time.

Magnifico was in such high spirits that if he were wearing a crown and it was knocked off his head by the wind, he'd have been too cheerful to notice and gone right on without it.

Next he sealed up the tears in the earth, then herded the stampede of unicorns into a gated pasture to give to Farmer Finnegan as an apology for destroying his other livelihood, after which he turned to the dark castle he’d grown out of the ground and shrunk it into a merry go round for children to ride in the middle of his courtyard. He found that everything could be reshaped into something joyful.

“Good morning sir!” he said to the baker as he put his bakery back in order with a few zaps. “Such a fine craft you’ve perfected. I have always held it in high regard."

Once all his paradoxes and anomalies had been sorted out with some serious conundrum-solving that left his head in a guddle, and he was sure each of his subjects were as safe as could be, he went down to the edge of the forest where he found Asha and Star Boy bouncing up and down on a discarded trampoline in the shade of the trees, and walked up to them. 

The pale white wand in Asha's hand had been mended, and she held it carelessly above her head as she bounced, a few sparks leaking out its end that she didn't even notice. 

"A fine day to you!" Magnifico called to them, and their mouths fell open at the sight of him. They ceased bouncing. "What have we here, my dears? Let's have a look." He approached them with a smile on his face.

Asha's face scrunched up into the same one she'd made when her Saba's wish had been yanked from her days earlier. “Go away," she told the king. "Everyone was a lot better off without you. Do you think anyone is going to listen to a big stupid-head when they could listen to me? People just have to believe in themselves to make their dreams come true. You just have to follow your heart, and anything is possible. All it takes is a little faith and a wish upon a star.”

“Enough of these idiotic phrases.” Magnifico plucked the mended wand from her hand, and snapped it in two with a satisfying crunch. 

Asha's face went pale, and her jaw nearly hit the ground.

"Asha, it seems you’ve finally earned yourself a proper sentence," he said, and raised his sceptre, but Star Boy was ready, and the fire he shot from his palms collided with Magnifico's spell. 

But this time, the fire was no match for the white light bursting from the king's sceptre, and the star was not prepared to be hurled backward into the trees like a worthless gnat. 

Star Boy emerged from the prickly plants with the look of a crumpled fly, his hair, full of prickers, sticking up as if he'd been electrocuted. He staggered forward, too dizzy to walk straight, and cried, "The earth's a mess, there's no more delight, I'm done with this, time to take flight." He shook his hair back to normal as he leapt into the air, and a suitcase materialised in his hand. "I've had my fill, this game's a bore, I can't take humans anymore. I'm packing my bags, going off with a zoom, no more human games, I'll return to the moon."

"Wait!" called Asha as Star Boy disappeared in a streak of light like a comet, right after which Magnifico sealed up the Eclipse Enclosure behind him with his sceptre, stronger and more secure than ever, ensuring he could never breach the realm again.

Asha's lip trembled as she watched.

Magnifico turned to her. "For your insolence, you will tend the chickens kept by your people day after day, from sunrise to sunset. No magic, no shortcuts. You will protect them and learn to do some good for society." And with a flash, he transported her back to the Hamlet, where she materialised surrounded by chickens inside a run closed off with barbed wire, outside which she could not step foot without getting a zap.

From then on, Asha had no choice but to follow the chickens, feed them, sweep up their dirty hay, and gather their eggs, all to the tune of relentless clucking. With no escape, she slowly, but eventually learned to focus on her tasks until she found a strange rhythm in the routine that wasn't quite pleasure, though she was no longer restless and wishful.

The same night she received her sentence, Magnifico gathered his guards into a search party to find Amaya, who had gone into hiding after his disappearance. 

"I fear she is like a serpent in tall grass, watching and waiting to strike," he told his guards. "She must be found and captured at once."

It was only midnight when his guards returned with his wife, who had been hiding out in a cave in the forest.

"Magnifico, I was possessed," she tried to lie as the guards dragged her off to the dungeons. "I do not know what came over me. It was the dark magic, I swear it was." Her protests faded as she was marched down the dark lower stairwell out of sight. Finish reading: Link

More Posts from Whatiwishfanfiction and Others

10 months ago

Chapter Five is up!

Chapter Five Is Up!
archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Preview:

It’s rare that a fantasy comes true just as you’re fantasizing about it, but that’s just what happened when Once-ler’s wagon rolled over the next hill. Not only did the scene happen to be extraordinary, but it came at such a coincidental time of desperate wishfulness that Once-ler was ripped straight from his daydreams and his eyes filled with tears immediately.

PEACE! FREEDOM! INSPIRATION! it screamed all at once.

Such a heavy feeling of serenity and joy descended upon his soul that he knew immediately he was where he was meant to be. It took less than a second to decide this was home, and he would never change his mind for the rest of his days. A smile spread across his face, the kind that was so big it hurt.

The valley he overlooked was a forest, but not like the forest at home. He’d never dreamed a forest could be so different. Where the one behind his farm was small, dry, and gray, the one below stretched beyond the horizon, filled with the brightest green grass and dark blue water full of lily pads, duckweed, and cattails.

Wispy trees and bushes bloomed with pink, yellow, and orange silken foliage that filled his nose with sugary sweetness. Instead of being empty and boring, as if animals would rather be anywhere less desolate, it buzzed with bees, butterflies, frogs, and fish he could see even from his vantage atop the highest hill. A sense of adventure and endless discovery pierced his heart as Once-ler's wagon rolled deeper down into Heaven.

So this was how forests were supposed to be. Every choice he’d made up to that point had been right after all, if it had led him to this. When the wagon reached the bottom of the hill, the yodels died on his lips, and he threw his guitar in the back. “Come on, Melvin,” he said, leading the mule along. The forest only became more interesting from there.

Ho-li-ah Ho-le-rah-hi-hi-ah Ho-le-rah-cuckoo Fol-de-rol, laddie right Toor-a-lie-addy

“Wait, who’s singing? Oh, wow!” Once-ler stood in awe as he watched a trio of fat yellow and orange fish dancing atop a rock, using their fins as legs. They held hands, spinning with their eyes closed, occasionally kicking out their fins or breaking away to do an Irish jig.

“Bizarre,” he said, checking over his shoulder just in case it was some kind of trick. “Does anyone else even know this exists?”

A yellow butterfly soared past with wings the size of book pages. The dark spots on its wings looked like a cow's. It landed on a flower where a frog strolled by on its hind legs and started milking it into an acorn cap.

"Oh my goodness!" Once-ler hopped up and down. "I think I just stumbled upon a completely undiscovered habitat!" After his life at home, he'd begun to think there was no such thing as anything new or exciting.

"Magnificent," he said, tears filling his eyes as a swarm of orange swans flew over his head under sun-tinted clouds. They soared, then dipped, taking a dive alongside a waterfall that roared ominously.

~*~

Follow me for the rest of the rewrite! (I'm going to post new chapters every week).

I can't wait to get to the part about the Lorax. I'm going to write him so much differently than the movie that made him a useless smart aleck. I always thought he should be more mysterious and fae-like. Gonna try to make it like something Tolkien or Holly Black would write. This story is really fun to write!

8 months ago

Excerpt 2:

Something tall and green swayed under the beating sun. If one looked closely, they might have thought it was a preying mantis or circus performer. Some might have even said it looked like a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole stuffed in greasy green alligator skin.

The truth was that it was an old man who was a particular shade of green standing over a sprout. The only other color he wore was in the form of an extremely fluffy pink scarf. It was a good thing he didn't need food anymore, and when he slept, just sat down on the tree stump behind him. Each morning, he would stand up before the sun, so that when it rose, its light would be filtered through him.

The old man could be observed following this routine for exactly eight months, a young boy bringing him supplies every so often. 

There were moments when the old man feared they were losing the battle. A week of cloudy skies meant no sunlight at all, and the young sprout drooped as if in despair. "Patience," the boy would say, reminding Once-ler of the very lesson he was still learning. "Patience, and we’ll get there."

When a sudden frost threatened to kill the sapling, Once-ler and the boy worked through the night, covering it with their own bodies and whatever scraps they could find. "We’re so close now," the boy whispered, teeth chattering. "It can’t all be for nothing."

The routine of watering the seed with butterfly milk every four hours, even through the night, began to wear on Once-ler’s frail body. His old bones creaked and his muscles burned. But he didn’t stop; he couldn’t stop. Each drop of milk was like a promise—a promise to the Lorax, to himself, and to the valley he’d betrayed.

Things continued this way until the sprout grew into a sapling of three feet. Then the job was complete. Although it wouldn't be a full grown Truffula for at least a hundred years, it was at least likely to survive till then. And if it didn't… Well, a hundred other sprouts had a fighting chance.

Crackling lights filled the sky, akin to a firework show or the northern lights. If one squinted they could see an orange speck growing bigger and bigger in their midst.

Once-ler turned his eyes up, and smiled.

Their presence was subtle at first—a rustle in the underbrush, a distant hum, the flutter of wings in the fading light. Then an array of creatures emerged from the fog, their steps dissolving the smog as they went. 

Birds of vibrant plumage like orange peacocks soared overhead, leaving blue streaks in the gray. Sunlight poured through their trails, anointing the earth in gold where snails crawled on their bellies and toads walked on their hind legs. A butterfly with spots like a cow alighted Once-ler's shoulder, and the old man smiled.

Where ancient trees had once stood tall, the barren landscape was suddenly filled again with life. Colorful rabbits and squirrels scurried through the underbrush, while elk roamed the open field. A reddish bear the size of a child's toy wrapped its arm around Once-ler's leg and purred as the humming-fish sang in a soothing choir.

It would take a long time, longer than Once-ler would live, until the valley was fully back to the way it had once been. But it would be someday. The boy who looked like Once-ler would be able to appreciate it soon enough. He had never asked what his name was…

A throat cleared itself behind him. Once-ler turned around to look at the Lorax whose feet hung over the UNLESS stones where he was seated.

"Thank you for restoring the light. Where once was dark, now all is bright. While time rolled on, seeds were sown. A whisper of hope is being grown. Thank you, my friend, for starting anew. Truth be told, I missed you too."

GUYS, IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
GUYS, IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE WHO READ THIS, LEFT KUDOS, COMMENTS, BOOKMARKS, ETC!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THE GREAT LORAX REWRITE IS FINALLY COMPLETE!

Excerpt:

He spent his days staring at the tally marks he'd scratched into the walls. They sprawled unevenly, some deep gouges, others mere scratches. He counted them again and again, fingers tracing the jagged lines, as he mumbled under his breath. "One... two... three... four..." His voice faltered and he started over. "One… two… thr—no, wait." He could only pray his count remained slightly accurate as the years went by.

Once he saw movement out of the corner of his eye, a flash of green in the broken shard of metal that hung from the wall. He whipped his head around, only to see his own reflection glaring back at him. But it wasn’t him—it was that other him. The green, twisted version, eyes hollow and black like two bottomless pits. 

"What do you want?" he whispered. "Why won’t you just leave me alone?" The reflection only smiled, a slow, creeping grin before crawling slowly away.

At night, the walls breathed. That’s what it sounded like to Once-ler—a long, wheezing inhale, a brittle exhale. The wind rushed through the gaps with ghostly arms that reached for him. He woke up, shivering, convinced he heard humming-fish singing just outside. 

"Hush! Quiet, they’re back!" he whispered to himself. Pressing his ear to the walls, the cold metal bit into his skin. All he heard was the wind. He slumped back down, knees pulled to his chest. "They were here," he murmured, rocking back and forth. "I know they were here…"

Desperate for routine, every morning, Once-ler reached for the rope he’d rigged to a bucket. It wasn’t for food or water—those needs had faded—he pulled it up just to see if the world had sent him something, anything. Most days, it came up empty, swinging in the breeze like a useless pendulum. Once or twice, he found a few broken pieces of old advertisements. He kept them, not because they were useful, but because they were better than nothing.

The gloves fused to his hands were another enemy he could never beat. They itched and burned, the skin underneath painful and raw. He scratched at the seams until his fingers bled, trying to tear them off. However, the fabric wouldn’t budge. "Get it off, get it off!" he screamed. He tore at his flesh until exhaustion took him.

The days twisted and knotted together into an indecipherable net, ensnaring him. Once-ler sat in his corner, and all he could think was, "Willingly. I chose all of it willingly." 

He wondered if the Lerkim would be his tomb. Or if, by some cruel twist of fate, he’d live forever within its rusted walls, alone with the ghosts of choices that could never be unmade.

The only other thing left to do was the thing he did most of all: Contemplate the meaning of the stones. "Unless." Unless what? he wondered.

Unless he changed his ways?

Unless he somehow escaped?

Unless he said he was sorry?

Unless the humming-fish had been trying to warn him?

Unless the Truffula trees were still out there, watching?

Unless the wind has been whispering the answer all along?

Unless his reflection knew the truth and he didn’t?

Unless the rain spoke a language he couldn't hear?

Unless the Lorax never left and was invisible?

Unless everything that was happening was a dream?

"Unless," Once-ler whispered again, as his brain overheated with puzzlement. "Unless... I was never meant to understand."

(Read the rest on ao3).

--------

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS DONE! For over I a decade I would see people complain about this movie and how it could be better. I would see posts about how people were going to rewrite it, but they never really did beyond summaries. Now I've finally finished this, so my life is complete. This is the longest fanfiction that I took the most seriously finishing. Thank you for all the kudos, comments, bookmarks, etc. that I didn't know if it would get.

Me and my coauthor on this account are hoping to create more rewrites after this. Currently, we're almost done with the first draft of a rewrite of Disney's Wish. We're aiming to start releasing it around Christmas, depending on how things go.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READ THIS STORY! Please let me know if you have any feedback about how you liked this rewrite. We'll take it into account for how we handle rewrites in the future.

9 months ago

Chapter Nine is Up (Everybody Needs a Thneed)

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter Nine Is Up (Everybody Needs A Thneed)

Summary:

Once-ler's dreams finally start to come true and his family joins him in the valley. Something bad happens at the end.

EXCERPT:

A short response to his letter came to the post office later that week. It read:

Dear Oncie,

It’s so wonderful to hear from you. We’ve all been doing just fine. Gizette just got an eye exam and discovered she needs glasses, but we don’t have enough money. Would it be possible for you to loan us a few hundred since we’re behind on bills? I’ll probably be able to pay it back this fall or the next. I don't think we can come to visit, the journey is too far. Thanks, love you.

-Ma.

All at once, he remembered why his family was so hard to miss.

Once-ler felt a familiar guilt that rose in his stomach whenever his family asked for help. He could hear his dad’s voice echoing in his ears, saying “We could really use the help, Once-ler, otherwise I’ll have to spend my whole night in the forest again.”

He could hear the insults of his siblings, calling him a failure who didn’t work hard enough. After all, it shouldn’t be difficult for someone who was actually successful to do small favors for their struggling family here and there. "You should have yer life figured out by now. Stop being a loser!"

Once-ler went to his bed to get out the money he hid with his old books under his mattress, and counted out three hundreds. Wait. That was all he had left? He’d been in this valley without selling anything for longer than he’d planned. He paused, running a hand through his hair, and stared at the cover of his battered copy of The Virtue of Selfishness.

Slowly he put the money back between its covers, then went back to his desk. He stared at the letter with a frown. Finally he ripped it in half, and tossed it out the window.

It was high time he started being more selfish. After all, if you didn't take care of yourself first, you'd never be able to take care of anyone else. Right?

"Self care and coffee," was a slogan Aunt Grizelda had embroidered and hung above her door, and Uncle Ubb always got away with saying he had too many health problems from smoking and had to stand up for himself. Why could the rest of his family always get away with this attitude but not him?

READ THE FULL CHAPTER AND STORY ON A03!

So far 9 out of 16 chapters are posted, but there might be a few more by the time it's done.

(Comments and kudos on ao3 are really appreciated)!


Tags
10 months ago
archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I was only going to release one chapter every Wednesday, but felt like posting more for fun. Comments/likes/kudos are REALLY appreciated, so I can get an audience. Please share this novelization with anyone you think would enjoy it.

I've been working on it for an abnormally long time, and got really carried away doing multiple drafts, especially for the later parts. The aim was to make it better than one of those professional Disney movie novelizations. Hopefully it feels like a full satisfying book with a lot of little things that connect and foreshadow.

9 months ago

Chapter 11 is up!

Chapter 11 Is Up!
archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

IF YOU HAVEN'T STARTED READING NOW, IT'S JUST GETTING TO THE FUN PART!

Excerpt:

As the meetings became more frequent, the character he had invented started to take on a life of its own. It was no longer just a way to get through the day. He would slip into his green suit, the color of money, and with it, would transform into someone else entirely. His voice would change—louder, more charismatic, filled with a confidence that didn’t quite belong to him. His handshake would be firmer, his smile broader, his laugh just a bit too loud.

Brett, Chet, and Gizette, who had seen the transformation firsthand, started calling him “Greed-ler” behind his back. They found the whole thing hilarious, completely different from the brother they knew. Gizette doodled pictures of Greed-ler on scraps of paper, turning him into a cartoon character with exaggerated features and dollar signs in each eye.

It wasn’t long before Greed-ler became more than just a private joke. The image of the green-suited CEO with a maniacal grin spread throughout the company, and soon, it wasn’t just his siblings drawing cartoons of him. Employees began to share these drawings, and Greed-ler started popping up in more official places—on company newsletters, posters, even merchandise. What began as a role to get through the day turned into the official mascot of Thneeds Inc.

READ THE FULL CHAPTER ON AO3!

This chapter is a little longer because I want to take my time showing how Once-ler's personality devolves. I've also never seen any writing about what an average day at the company would be like. As I go through the whole movie, I want to thoroughly explore every last thing like this for once. There really is more than a novel's worth of potential in this story, if it's given its due.

Also, instead of always making Once-ler doubtful about his family's selfishness, I wanted it to be clear he was joining in with them and being an equally terrible or worse person. This is key to making the story work and have a more powerful lesson.

10 months ago

Hello, hello

Welcome to our fanfiction blog. We write high quality, wholesome, canon compliant (or canon objectively improved) fanfiction with as few OCs or annoying tropes as possible.

We also like to do interesting writing experiments and make quality novelizations of things. We aim to make everything like a professional book with a lot of depth, no cringe, and an actual full completed story. (Since that can be very rare).


Tags
8 months ago

Chapter 14 is up!

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Super late post today, but here it is! THIS PART IS THE MOST SAD. The movie didn't make enough consequences for his actions.

Chapter 14 Is Up!

Excerpt:

"How've you been, sir? Are you doing well, Mr. Once-ler?" a forlorn voice asked.

Once-ler spun around. "You?!”

The Lorax didn't say anything for a while. The sound of rain over the balcony grew heavier as the storm rumbled behind him.

"Just came to look at the view. You've accomplished a lot, haven’t you?"

Once-ler backed away at the sound of thunder as the Lorax entered the office. The mossy old creature hopped onto his desk to stare at the model city. His torso was matted and streaked with grease. Wiry hairs stuck out from his mustache and eyebrows like bent broom bristles. The fur that had once had an attractive orange sheen was all brown now, caked with dirt, and had a damp, washed-out look. The Lorax might have been a chewed up jelly bean that had been spat back out.

"The Virtue of Selfishness," the Lorax read the title of one of Once-ler's books, stroking his mustache. "Lessons we could all learn from, I'd guess."

"You know what? I don't want to hear from you right now!" Once-ler yelled. "All you do is say everything is bad, and I'm really sick of it." He seized the Lorax and hoisted him under his arm, ignoring the creature's protests.

"It's not just the trees I'm trying to save,” the Lorax’s voice cracked, “but you, from digging your own grave."

Once again, the door wouldn't open when Once-ler tried it, and the alarm wouldn't go off when he pulled it. But he wasn’t going to  be defeated. He carried the Lorax to the balcony and held him at arm's length. The Lorax hovered over dark hills that had been uniformly sheared—bristly white stumps where once had been trees dotted the shaved hills of dead grass. Advanced axe-hackers rolled by like monsters, searching for more wood that they couldn't find, before wheeling away to look deeper into the mist.

"Are you going to kill me?" asked the Lorax.

"I know you're causing the storms," growled Once-ler, shaking him. "The thunder that never stops, the lightning that strikes my tower.  And all the clouds that have that same purple hue as when…" He trailed off, remembering the first tree he'd cut down, when he'd first seen the Lorax come out of the sky. 

If it wasn't for that day, he'd have believed the Lorax was no more than a funny animal like the Barbaloots or humming-fish, with a higher cognitive level and more annoying voice box. But it had been the sight of him that day, coming out of the sky with a terrible look in his eyes, that, as much as he tried to forget, made Once-ler secretly terrified he really was a deity. 

His hands trembled as the Lorax's beetle black eyes bored into his, suddenly looking very old and very powerful. Once-ler wondered if it was even possible for the Lorax to die. “Whatever you're doing, I want you to stop it. Right now," he growled, not recognizing his own voice. With each word, he leaned closer over the edge of the balcony.

"Why?" asked the Lorax. "You don’t seem to care how your own actions are fouling the air."

"Yer rusting up my factory. We got work to do. I’m the one in the legal right here. So make it stop." His face was close enough to feel the Lorax’s mustache.

The Lorax chuckled at this, legs dangling over the parapet. "Laws and codes, written by man. What have they to do with nature's plan? What have they to do with morals or your soul? Are laws the things that define all your goals?" His long, spindly hand slowly reached out and grabbed his tie.

Before Once-ler knew it, they were both falling. Through wind and rain they plummeted as the storm thickened. Soon a churning mist concealed everything around them as they tumbled through a funnel of purple clouds, a passage that went on much longer than Once-ler knew it should have. 

As they spun round and round, reality evaporated. It was as if Once-ler was melting into the Lorax and the Lorax was melting into him, until nothing but a haze of orange and green remained. Then they unconnected, plunging their separate ways.

Once-ler's spine cracked against a pipe, and he bounced onto the black, dry riverbed where water no longer ran. His head spun; reality had not gone quite back to normal. Somehow they had survived the fall as if it had been merely from a playground, rather than half a mile from the tallest building in the city. His back, however, would never be quite the same. Sharp pains when he attempted to straighten himself told him it had been fractured.

The Lorax was standing on a rock, eyes aglow, fixed on his enemy. An army was growing around him of bloodied, skeletal birds missing patches of feathers, a few crinkled fish that had been too weak to leave, and the ghostly Barbaloots that hadn't died yet.

Once-ler choked, and limped behind a rock. "I don't want any trouble," he pleaded. 

The Lorax gave a slight nod to the army behind him, and they marched somberly back into the gray expanse. As they trailed away, single file, Once-ler knew in his heart they were marching to their deaths. At the end of the line he spotted an animal he hadn't thought of in a long time. His old friend, Melvin.

"Hey…!" He crawled up to the trembling old animal that fell to the ground. Melvin put his head in Once-ler's lap. His coat was thin and sooty, breaths slow and tired. The eyes that met his master's were filled with sadness that slowly dimmed into an empty stare as his head slumped to the ground.

READ THE FULL CHAPTER ON AO3~!

10 months ago

Lorax Rewrite Excerpt

Without focusing on Ted, the story can start earlier and show more of Once-ler's background trying to sell his Thneed. What bad influences did he have when it came to running a business? Some of the advice in this chapter are real things I've been told...

Excerpt below:

Lorax Rewrite Excerpt

He pulled the Thneed from his neck, and spread it on the table. "Ah, you know what, let me just show you."

"It's brilliant," said the main representative immediately.

He was the shortest man and wore a sleek white suit. "The audacity is stunning. It's the perfect balance between essential and useless. Whimsical enough to capture the imagination, yet quaint enough to be marketed as a necessity. This is, indeed, something everyone needs. We would just have to make it out of a better material. For the most part, there's not a single thing that could be improved. However…" He looked up from his spinny chair at the long table. "There's one problem."

His colleagues in smaller chairs around him nodded their heads knowingly.

"Whaddya mean?" asked Once-ler.

The salesman pressed his fingers together and leaned forward. "To sell a product, you need to have a certain degree of charisma," he explained. "The creator's image is even more important than the thing itself when it comes to commerce. That is, you can't just come into a company in your dirty lumberjack clothes, dragging a mule, singing out of tune, and expect to be a success."

Once-ler turned red. There were no barns in North Nitch, so he'd been taking Melvin everywhere with him on a leash. The buildings were so big it hadn't occurred to him there was anything wrong with it. Plus Melvin was such a well-behaved mule, or maybe it was just that he hadn't had any human friends in so long, Once-ler had unconsciously started to think of him as a person.

He also resented his spiffy new outfit being called dirty lumberjack clothes. The fashion of his old town must've looked that way to outsiders no matter how new or clean they were. He observed the stiff, sleek blazers the businessmen wore and took note.

"There seem to be two of you here right now, Mr. Ler," the salesman said, and Once-ler got the feeling he wasn't talking about the fact that he'd brought his mule.

"On one hand, I see a powerful inventor with an ingenious work ethic, capable of bringing impressive ideas to life. But you can’t let humility hold you back. My advice to you is to try and think of yourself a little more selfishly, if you know what I mean."

"No, sir… Could you expand on that?"

"I mean stop thinking of yourself as someone small from a lowly background. You have to imagine yourself as bigger than everyone else."

The salesman hopped from his chair and drew his own short body to its full height in front of the towering woodsman.

"It doesn't matter if you're the tallest person in the world, if you never think you can reach anything." The businessman threw a pointed glance at a geeky young intern with glasses and braces. "Isn't that right, Aloysius?"

"I get it, Dad." The teenager rolled his eyes.

The salesman folded up the Thneed, and handed it back to Once-ler. "You have potential, but come back when your marketing strategy has improved. Have you ever read The Virtue of Selfishness? I look forward to hearing back from you. In the meantime, have you considered applying to other job options at one of the O'Hare companies?" He handed Once-ler a pamphlet.

Once-ler walked out of the building buzzing with embarrassment. He'd butchered his delivery on his first try. Why was it so easy to sing about Thneeds at his family's farm, in the forest, or the privacy of his wagon? He hadn't expected to start shaking like a leaf the instant he started playing for other people. He needed to practice.

Full story here:

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
10 months ago

Lorax Rewrite Excerpt

Without focusing on Ted, the story can start earlier and show more of Once-ler's background trying to sell his Thneed. What bad influences did he have when it came to running a business? Some of the advice in this chapter are real things I've been told...

Excerpt below:

Lorax Rewrite Excerpt

He pulled the Thneed from his neck, and spread it on the table. "Ah, you know what, let me just show you."

"It's brilliant," said the main representative immediately.

He was the shortest man and wore a sleek white suit. "The audacity is stunning. It's the perfect balance between essential and useless. Whimsical enough to capture the imagination, yet quaint enough to be marketed as a necessity. This is, indeed, something everyone needs. We would just have to make it out of a better material. For the most part, there's not a single thing that could be improved. However…" He looked up from his spinny chair at the long table. "There's one problem."

His colleagues in smaller chairs around him nodded their heads knowingly.

"Whaddya mean?" asked Once-ler.

The salesman pressed his fingers together and leaned forward. "To sell a product, you need to have a certain degree of charisma," he explained. "The creator's image is even more important than the thing itself when it comes to commerce. That is, you can't just come into a company in your dirty lumberjack clothes, dragging a mule, singing out of tune, and expect to be a success."

Once-ler turned red. There were no barns in North Nitch, so he'd been taking Melvin everywhere with him on a leash. The buildings were so big it hadn't occurred to him there was anything wrong with it. Plus Melvin was such a well-behaved mule, or maybe it was just that he hadn't had any human friends in so long, Once-ler had unconsciously started to think of him as a person.

He also resented his spiffy new outfit being called dirty lumberjack clothes. The fashion of his old town must've looked that way to outsiders no matter how new or clean they were. He observed the stiff, sleek blazers the businessmen wore and took note.

"There seem to be two of you here right now, Mr. Ler," the salesman said, and Once-ler got the feeling he wasn't talking about the fact that he'd brought his mule.

"On one hand, I see a powerful inventor with an ingenious work ethic, capable of bringing impressive ideas to life. But you can’t let humility hold you back. My advice to you is to try and think of yourself a little more selfishly, if you know what I mean."

"No, sir… Could you expand on that?"

"I mean stop thinking of yourself as someone small from a lowly background. You have to imagine yourself as bigger than everyone else."

The salesman hopped from his chair and drew his own short body to its full height in front of the towering woodsman.

"It doesn't matter if you're the tallest person in the world, if you never think you can reach anything." The businessman threw a pointed glance at a geeky young intern with glasses and braces. "Isn't that right, Aloysius?"

"I get it, Dad." The teenager rolled his eyes.

The salesman folded up the Thneed, and handed it back to Once-ler. "You have potential, but come back when your marketing strategy has improved. Have you ever read The Virtue of Selfishness? I look forward to hearing back from you. In the meantime, have you considered applying to other job options at one of the O'Hare companies?" He handed Once-ler a pamphlet.

Once-ler walked out of the building buzzing with embarrassment. He'd butchered his delivery on his first try. Why was it so easy to sing about Thneeds at his family's farm, in the forest, or the privacy of his wagon? He hadn't expected to start shaking like a leaf the instant he started playing for other people. He needed to practice.

Full story here:

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Tags
7 months ago

Well, no surprise with the result. I kind of wanted it to be biased though, to prove a point, since a lot of people outside sites like this don't understand.

Necessity of Creativity

Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • your-friendly-sociopath
    your-friendly-sociopath liked this · 2 months ago
  • skatoonyfan1234
    skatoonyfan1234 reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • eifemo
    eifemo liked this · 3 months ago
  • whatiwishfanfiction
    whatiwishfanfiction reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • whatiwishfanfiction
    whatiwishfanfiction reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • linkadraws
    linkadraws liked this · 3 months ago
  • spideyladman
    spideyladman liked this · 3 months ago
  • whatiwishfanfiction
    whatiwishfanfiction reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • whatiwishfanfiction
    whatiwishfanfiction reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • aleyaprocrastinating
    aleyaprocrastinating liked this · 3 months ago
  • starss-artss
    starss-artss liked this · 3 months ago
  • whatiwishfanfiction
    whatiwishfanfiction reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • inkyrainstorms
    inkyrainstorms reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • inkyrainstorms
    inkyrainstorms liked this · 3 months ago
  • whatiwishfanfiction
    whatiwishfanfiction reblogged this · 3 months ago
whatiwishfanfiction - Quality novelizations of your favorite fandoms
Quality novelizations of your favorite fandoms

Just two writers who like to rewrite stories either to make them better or for an experiment.

127 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags