"Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?" Is Sooo Dazai Coded 💖 🩶 🖤 🤍

*Akutagawa tying Aya's hair*

Aya: Ahhh are you trying to kill me? You can't even make pig tails?

Akutagawa: if you complain too much I'll use rashomon to tie it up

Aya: HEY that's not fair!

*noise and smoke from the kitchen*

Akutagawa, rolling his eyes: jinko I thought you could cook

Atsushi: uh yeah I can cook basic things. Your kitchen is too advanced for me!

Aya: I don't want to eat burned toast again papa

Atsushi: I know honey, I'll make sure it's only slightly burned

Akutagawa: now did you do your homework?

Aya: what homework?

Atsushi: what homework?

*Akutagawa making a science project and Atsushi writing essays*

Aya: are you sure you two can do this? You haven't been to school before

Akutagawa: I am smart enough to do it unlike a certain weretiger---

Atsushi: oh you SHUT UP--

(shhhh BSD is about two rivals raising a little girl together like it's buddy daddies)

Henry: This year, I lost my dear friend Bunny Concoran.

Bunny: stop telling everyone I am dead

Henry: you just wait :)

I want to read a fanfiction about Henry and Richard being an AU version of Sherlock and Watson.

The scene where Richard tells Henry about the moon landing and Sherlock telling Watson he doesn't know the earth revolves around the sun are just......

💫perfection💫

Imagine the shenanigans they will get into. Henry being the smartass who doesn't know how the metro works (or the modern world to an extent) and Richard being his babysitter/oblivious partner (who doesn't know what the fuck is happening) and they are roommates! (Omg, they were roommates)

They even have the same unresolved homoerotic tension like Sherlock and Watson.

Ps: Richard used to study Medicine in the past and Watson is a Doctor....boom

Interviewer: so how do you feel like speaking right now?

INTP: I don't feel anything. I was told I will get 50 bucks for this.

Interviewer: haha really? You gave this interview just for the money?

INTP: of course, I would not talk to you if I wasn't paid for it.

Interviewer:....lets go to the first question. When do you wake up in the morning?

INTP: if I have to go to work 8 am and if I don't then 12 pm

Interviewer: and when do you sleep?

INTP: it depends on my caffeine level and current hobbies. A lot of all nighters if watching a new T.V show.

Interviewer: what's your favourite food?

INTP: anything that can be cooked with minimal cooking skills and effort

Interviewer: favourite season?

INTP: winter or autumn

Interviewer: favourite movie?

INTP: I can't choose one

Interviewer: favourite book?

INTP: don't go there.

Interviewer: what is your biggest dream in life?

INTP: I want to do something for the humanity.

Interviewer: that's nice

INTP: the lack of humanity in today's world baffles me. I thought I was aloof. But if everyone is like the people around me, even I want to help them.

Interviewer: how would you help humanity?

INTP: by destroying the humanity before humans destory each other and let the animals and plants live in peace.

Interviewer:....oh big dreams! Last question, how was your childhood like?

INTP: I grew up being paraded as a gifted child with intellect and curiousity. I didn't have friends and avoided any social situation. As I grew I realised my talents aren't valued by others and my mind was too fast for them. I slowed down and accepted that I am a medicore genius and my parents had lied to me about my abilities. I recently dropped out of college and adopted nihilism to make myself feel better about my failures and disappointments.

Interviewer: that's bad...

INTP: it doesn't matter much to me. My mom always told me I will end up in a jail or asylum. So life's been okay.

Atsushi really said "I can fix him" AND HE DID

sskk makes me ugly cry (both romantic and platonic)

Every time I hear "Do we need more?" I spontaneously combust

Dazai getting out of Chuuya's apartment in the morning: 😶

Atsushi getting out of Akutagawa's apartment in the morning: 😶

Dazai: let's keep this a secret between us and not tell anyone about this in the ADA

Atsushi: deal.

I can't wait to listen to the new Taylor Swift album to adapt a new personality. Till now I have been: a lovesick highschooler, the girl next door, depressed college student, a popstar, a diva, a lovable goof, a snake, again a more mature lovesick highschooler, a storyteller, a dreamer and now..........let's see.

*TSH memes from incorrect quotes generator part 1*

____________________________________

Henry , walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Richard : Hey.

Charles : Hi.

Camilla: Hello.

Francis: Hey!

Henry : I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Bunny: We were out of Doritos.

_________________________________________

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Richard : Thanks fam!

Henry : oh no

Charles : *cries* I love you too

Camilla: Sounds fake but okay

Francis: *A flustered mess*

Bunny: can i get a refund

____________________________________

Henry : Time for plan G.

Richard : Don’t you mean plan B?

Henry : No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Charles : What about plan D?

Henry : Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Camilla: What about plan E?

Henry : I’m hoping not to use it. Bunny dies in plan E.

Francis: I like plan E.

____________________________________

Me: Have care how to speak about them, Akutagawa, Chuuya and Dazai are my children

Someone: They killed 80 people in two days

Me: they're adopted

"That's the real sickness here, your righteousness and hypocrisy. It's the simple fact that you can't live by the rules you set, yet you still pretend. This is your world. You bulit this. If it's too strict, tear it the fuck down. But don't look at me. Don't take your hate out on me, I just got here. And I have no clue where to go, because from the moment I arrived, all I was ever given were orders. 'Smile. Open up. Cross your legs. Speak softer. Scream louder. Be quiet. Be confident. Be an angel. Be a whore. Be a princess. Be anything you want to be'...."

~Assassination nation, 2018.