Transfem Laios. Transmasc Falin. You Agree. Reblog.

Remus: Will you date me? Breathe if yes, recite the Bible in Japanese if no. Virgil: 初めに、神は天と地を創造されました。 Remus: What the…? Virgil: 地球は形もなく虚無であり、暗闇が深海の面を覆いました… Remus: Is that actually the Bible?! Virgil: …そして神の霊が水面の上に浮かんでいました。 Remus: And you stopped breathing, too?! Virgil: そして神は「光あれ」と言われました。 Remus: Christ, it would have been preferable for you to just have beaten me up and called me gay!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Fanfiction consists of an enormous collection of genres, and smut is merely one tiny portion of it. The best fics I've read have little to no sex scenes, but those that do are brilliantly written and actually of high quality. All forms of fanfiction are works of art and judging it solely based on misconceptions and rumors is unacceptable.

That being said- here's two fics (WIPs as of the time I'm writing this) that have delicious (and almost exclusively) kinky times I highly recommend:

Undercover, by @captainblou and @eybefioro. Simply wonderful. Post s2. Pince of Hell Crowley. Supreme Archangel Aziraphale. Elevators. Cosplays. Pencils.

Cranking up the heat, by @vavoom-sorted-art. Ever heard of "a picture equals a thousand words"? Well, there's 22 pictures (again, as of today) AND almost 4k words. Mind blowing stuff. Insatiable Aziraphale. Wow. A lil preview:

hey guys new diagnosis just dropped: EVIL AUTISM

Aziraphale’s phone rings.  He answers, expecting it to be Crowley.  But to his surprise, it’s a demon he’s never met.

“I’m Crowley’s replacement,” the demon says.  “He’s not done anything impressive lately, and Downstairs doesn’t like how ineffective he is at keeping you in line.  So now he’s shuffling paperwork and scooping up hellhound shit while I do his job for him.”

“Ah… I see,”  Aziraphale says icily.  “Well, I most assuredly do not look forward to working with you.”

The demon laughs.  “Feeling’s mutual.”

Twenty-four hours later, the demon is very surprised to find himself discorporated in his sleep.  He can’t explain what happened, he has absolutely no idea.

“Don’t let it happen again,” Beelzebub says, annoyed, and sends the demon back up.

After a mere three days, the demon ends up discorporated again.

A new replacement is sent up.  This one lasts for a week and a day.

A third replacement is sent up.  This one lasts for exactly four hours.

Three demons are sent up next time.  Two manage to stay alive for at least five months.  In that time, they botch four very important temptations, and the citizens of London inexplicably find their daily lives much improved in thousands of little ways.  Traffic and pollution are nonexistent, injury and illness are miraculously avoided.  Church attendance is up five hundred percent, and every politician and CEO is struck by the urge to donate as much money as possible to charity.  There’s a general feeling of contentedness and goodwill in the air that wasn’t there before.  It feels downright heavenly.

Suddenly, Beelzebub is having a very hard time finding anyone to take Crowley’s post.  Bribes and threats make no difference.  The rumors have spread and only grown more disturbing in the telling.  Not one demon is willing to go up there and face the cold, calculated, merciless wrath of the angel known as Aziraphale.

Crowley absolutely loses it when someone gets around to telling him.  “Y’know, I could’ve warned you,” he says gleefully.  “Been working with him for thousands of years.  I know exactly how much of a bastard he can be.”

After running the numbers and seeing how many souls they’ve lost to Heaven in the past year, Beelzebub gives up and concludes that trying to replace Crowley is a massive waste of resources Hell can’t afford.

After one year, Aziraphale receives another phone call.  He answers, with bated breath, and nearly shouts for joy when he hears a familiar voice.

“Hi, angel.  Lunch on me?”

Hot take: Virgil will get along with the orange side and they’ll complain about Janus and Remus together

tag yourself, i’m *daydreaming*

can we please just imagine aziraphale going absolutely feral after they told heaven and hell where to shove it, like-

he is feral, but in his victorian-ghost-in-your-childhood-bedroom feral. he’s not the type to take crowley to bed after 6000 years of pining. he will court him, and i’m talking full wooing manoeuvres like god intended. for years he’s been on the receiving end of all these acts of service, now he’s releasing centuries of pent up romance. 

he’ll get crowley flowers every damn time they go out. he’ll find the nicest restaurants with the best wines, and he’ll pay every single meal. he’ll shower the poor demon in gifts and affection, though he’ll avoid most physical contact driving crowley absolutely crazy. he’ll offer him his arm when walking, and his coat when it rains or when it’s a bit too cold. he’ll be straight out of How To Be The Perfect Gentleman 101.

meanwhile, crowley will discorporate once a week out of frustration or embarrassment. though he complains out loud about having to walk with aziraphale’s jacket, he’ll secretly love it, because that’s just how he is.

i need aziraphale going bonkers with courtship rituals y’all.

Headcanon

Each of the sides takes care of their favorite social media

Virgil: tumblr and my space

Roman: Instagram

Patton: Facebook

Logan: inbox

(And probably the dark sides take care of the one that nobody expects cus' they still have a soft spot for Thomas's followers taking in count that we care about them and don't antagonize them.)

reblog this if you're okay with booping spams please !!