Random Animal Generator - Perchance

Soon!

I only make it halfway through the sandwich (if that) before I’m like “this was a good sandwich. Now show me the ~mayonnaise bread~ and Meat!”

Didn’t know this was a thing other people did!

So yet another weird thing about me is that I like to taste sandwiches both together and in their individual pieces. For about the first 2/3 of a sandwich I eat it normally but in the last third I eat every piece separately.

I did this even as a kid but my dad got annoyed at me “dissecting” my food and kept telling me to stop. So this began a two decade long ruse where I pretended to be very bad at eating sandwiches.

I’m not dissecting my food, father. The sandwich is simply falling apart. Oh no. What a shame. Guess I’ll have to eat these bacon bits and lettuce separately.

I recently told my dad about this because I’m an adult now and can eat how I want and yeah he never caught on. He thought I was just incredibly bad at eating sandwiches this whole time.

The Subcon Lindworm

Once upon a time there was a wooded kingdom known as Subcon. Subcon’s monarchs wanted children, but even after many attempts, they remained childless. One day the king went out into the woods, lamenting his fate, when an odd cat-like creature appeared before him. “What’s wrong sugar?” she asks the king. He replies, telling the being of the kingdom’s woes. The Cat tells him of an ancient ritual they could perform to ensure the queen is with child.

They must place an old well-loved pot in the north-east corner of their garden on the night of a full moon. The next morning there will be two roses under the pot. One rose will be blue, and the other yellow. These roses are to be plucked of petals and made into a tea. If the queen drinks the tea made from the blue flower, she will have a boy, and if she drinks from the yellow flower she will have a girl. She must not drink both teas, or things may go wrong. 

The king follows these directions, giving the queen both teas, and allowing her to choose. After pondering for a time, she drinks the yellow tea, but as it was so delicious, she decides to drink the other one too. All seems well for a time, but after 9 months, it is time for the princelings to be born. As the first child comes into the world, it is immediately obvious that not all is as it should be. In place of a human child, something resembling a purple snake covered in vibrant violet plumage slithers out of the womb. The queen cries in distress, and spooked by the noise, the creature later to become known as the Subcon Snatcher crawls away on a pair of clawed, thin arms out the window and into the forest. His twin, on the other hand, comes into the world a perfect mix of the king and queen.

Years pass. Rumors of a giant purple beast living in the woods spread. The queen and king investigate, searching for their lost child. Snatcher is so hungry. He hunts and he hunts, but he never feels satisfied. One day, he comes upon a pair of people, dressed in fine clothes, with bizarre rings of shiny metal upon their heads. He eats them before they can even scream.

Life goes on. The second child, now named Marcus, becomes king. He falls in love and marries a florist who lives in the village. They are content for a time, but eventually they begin to feel like something is missing. They want a child. Marcus grew up with the story of the kind cat lady in the woods, so he knows where to go when all else fails. Something goes wrong though. Upon hearing his plea, the cat can only respond, “I’m sorry sugar, but last time I tried to help, people started going missing in this here forest.” And that would have been that, if it were not for the fact that on his way back to the castle, Marcus finds a little girl, one with a beautiful bow in her hair, trying to get her cat out of a tree. After helping her, they begin to talk, and the king realizes that this bow child is without parents, without a home, and without food. He visits her from time to time. Their rendezvous become more and more frequent. One fateful day, Marcus asks the child to come home with him, completely unaware of the sun yellow eyes glowing brightly in the bushes.

Well. I’m too tired to continue right now, and I’m aware that this isn’t very good, but it’s something. Background set up! Wooo!

This is just playing Dungeons and Degenerate Gamblers

(Game, can be found on itch.io)

hit me 🃏

consider this… au where Queenie is alive… and the circus is some dumb vrchat thing 💥 🤯 …

;-;

Aaaaaaaa this thought is living in my head rent-free

linda

to find out you're a clone who will never be able to go home to the love of your life. feels bad mate.

No it came from being in the public school system

Obsessed with this. It’s so true

despite what popular opinion may lead you to believe, some rocks actually do have scientifically-proven auras! Unfortunately, those rocks are uranium and the aura is cancer. 

Sooo…. I’ve been thinking on it, and so, in the original fairy tale the lindworm has a twin brother, and that slot could be taken up by moonjumper, who would be wanting to adopt bow (leading snatcher to get jealous and start up the main conflict) the witch who ultimately causes AND helps solve the whole giant dragon worm thing could be several people, but the ones I’ve narrowed it down to is Vanessa, Cooking Cat, or the Florist, but Vanessa could be well suited for one of the people the lindworm eats, cooking cat could very well suit the helpful maid, and the florist could be hat kid’s relative (aunt?) who she lived with before becoming prospective monster chow. Of course, all this is my own opinion, and if you’ve got something else I would be more than willing to listen!

If all of this made no sense to you, the people over at Overly Sarcastic Productions on YouTube did pretty good coverage on the Prince Lindworm myth, and there are also several good interpretations on ao3.

I think that a really cool au idea for a hat in time would be one based on the prince lindworm fairytale. Maybe not romantic, but there’s some dadcher potential… like it’s a story about a worm monster with no back legs who is secretly a prince who becomes human through the power of love/being hit with a really big stick, so I think that would be neat to do something with. I’m nowhere near talented enough to do anything with it though lol