Oh, For Sure - I Got You

Messing with Nifty's cleaning is the easiest way to get on her hit list, and Alastor learns that he isn't exempt from this rule.

OR

Alastor fucks around and finds out.

This is a platonic SFW tickle fic, if that isn't for you, feel free to scroll right on by

I 100% agree. UNLESS He's with people he doesn't know/doesn't trust.

Sentinal is staying with the repair crew for whatever reason and has to sleep in their base? Suddenly Bee isn't getting any sleep bc he keeps getting woken up by the smallest noises. He falls asleep on the couch in the common area and everyone else on team Prime just assumes he's going to sleep like the dead as usual, but they're all scared out of their processors when Optimus barely starts speaking and Bumblebee just wakes up like an explosion had gone off

I'm talking the full nine yards - he THROWS himself off the couch, stingers activated, eyes wide and battle mask on. He is ready to go and face a threat that doesn't exist. Everyone else is immediately concerned and (reasonably) assume he had a nightmare. Ratchet assumes it's PTSD bc "The Horrors" mean that is always Ratchet's first assumption, and he insists on doing a checkup for Bee

He doesn't find anything, and Bee doesn't know why he always wakes up like he's on the verge of death when someone else he doesn't know or like is around, but it's just something he's come to accept about himself. Ratchet is completely right assuming that it's a trauma response, but Bee just tries to keep everyone from mentioning it, not wanting to admit that there are too many options to choose from when trying to figure out what could have caused it

He definitely makes sure to only sleep in his room the rest of the time Sentinal is there

I like to think Bee either sleeps like he’s dead, or is a very light sleeper,

Like if he sleeps like a rock, I like to imagine the first time he was woken up by someone else on his team it went like those cat videos where the person nudges the cat and it slowly goes to them shaking it violently before the cat wakes up like nothing happened

Oh, definitely.

He's much more on the heavy sleeper side although he has a pretty consistent sleep schedule (with few eventual exceptions ofc). While he was a very much "a gust of wind could wake him" as a sparkling kinda guy, he defo got more comfortable sleeping soundly with Team Prime. Also he had to be like that, he was sharing quarters with Bulkhead back in bootcamp and even tho the mech doesn't snore he defo isn't quiet when he's recharging.

So yeah, Bee goes to sleep late, wakes up really early, but in those few hours he's sleeping he's near impossible to wake up (with normal methods at least).

One time he was sleeping in cuz of something dumb and Op was getting annoyed cuz Bee was needed to do something. So he went there and tried to wake him up... except Bee didn't wake up. Not even throwing off the covers did anything, he tried speaking loudly but it didn't do anything. Only when he picked Bee up he got concerned cuz why wasn't he waking up??? He ended up going to medbay with him and only after Op set him down and tried to talk to Ratchet did he wake up all confused. So yeah that's how Optimus had to learn the hard way with a slight panic that Bee is a heavy sleeper.

Tbh Prowl now understands how Bee and Bulk are able to have sleep overs, both of them are heavy sleepers and don't mind one's loud engine or sleep talking.

Hi! so I might do some fanart for your fic "hidden hurts" (it has literally become one of my favourites on Ao3 loll)

the thing is that I was wondering what you had in mind for the general area around the big cypress tree?

First off, I might actually cry, I love you so much right now, we should get married THANK YOU SO MUCH

Secondly, I was thinking that the majority of the bayou has water/mud everywhere (yk....like a bayou) BUT, that there are certain areas that have a little higher elevation meaning that they're completely dry. These areas would be filled with super tall grass (3+ feet) that is either dry and yellow or lush and green depending on the time of year on earth. Places like this exist in actual bayous and swamps too, which I thought was perfect lol. The tree itself has HUGE roots, like, think the trees from the first Avatar movie and you're pretty close, and that's how Alastor's little hollow space is formed/protected. The tree has a natural hollow as well, but the roots make the space larger.

The dry patch is almost like an island, completely surrounded by water. And I just thought of this, but I like to think that Alastor would have a charm in place that once you get on the dry patch or exit the bayou, any mud/water on you is magically removed in order to avoid dirtying his bedding/floor.

Please let me know when you finish, I'd love to see it!!!

I don't know if someone's done this already, but imagine the Justice League is doing some mission or another and Batman gets captured. Maybe it was on purpose, maybe it wasn't but whatever the case, the JL is now Concerned. Their main tactician is gone, and some of the villains are Batman's Rogues, who they admittedly don't know much about

They bust into where ever Batman's being held and only one person is there that they see. They take them out and wander around until they find Batman in a room with Harley Quinn. They go in guns blazing only to stop in pure confusion

Batman is tied rather impressively to a chair while Harley sits opposite of him with a clipboard in hand and glasses perched on her nose. Bruce looks absolutely miserable while Harley turns around with a wide smile as if she hadn't been holding Batman hostage. To be fair to her though, Bruce honestly had figured out how to escape his restraints about 5 minutes after he woke up, but he knows that the Joker doesn't ever listen to Harley and she'd get upset when her "impromptu therapy" sessions would get interrupted when they were in college together. He'd always had kind of a soft spot for Harley so he'd stayed. Not that anyone else needed to know that of course

everyone's interaction goes something like this:

Harley: Oh hi!

Superman who is Terminally Polite: H-hey. How are you?

Harley: Oh, I'm good. Batman and I were talking about his obvious abandonment issues and severe anxiety!

Bruce, mortified and hiding it surprisingly well: No we weren't

Flash: Is this...normal???

Harley: Yeah, just about - any time I get to watch him I usually give him some therapy. He obviously needs it and it's not like I'm doing much with my degree otherwise!

Bruce: First off, rude. Second off, why is everyone just standing around? We've got work to do!

And the entire League jumps guiltily as they realize they were kind of just staring at their captured teammate when there is indeed work to be done about the rest of the group they're facing. Then, Harley drops the bomb that she wasn't even involved???? She just heard that they'd captured Batman and broke in to Therapy at him while he couldn't get away

Ok look, I KNOW that literally no one is happy about this picture, but hear me out:

If you use ✨edible glitter✨ and mix that into your coffee so it looks like those weird fancy wines ex:

I would totally drink that shit. I could wake up every morning and drink my Elixir of Divine Energy and feel like a witch/goddess/etc. I'd drink that in public and just leave everyone confused about wtf is in my cup. Anyways, this is why I think we shouldn't all immediately jump on the bandwagon that the glitter coffee is incurably evil and disgusting

I'M NOT DEAD!!!!!!

I have finally returned and have decided to post my most recent fixation for everyone to see. (I've been through this song and dance before but now everyone gets to see it). Also, it's not angst related?????? Who am I and what have I done with the real Void-

Optimus Prime has to repeatedly be told that he cannot in fact adopt every animal that happens to cross his path, and he has brought back everything from boxes of cats, to a stray dog, to a whole ass mountain lion on one particularly memorable occasion. HOWEVER, there is one animal he absolutely refuses to take home, and even attempts to avoid contact with at all costs. This giant alien robot who has fought in a continuous war for thousands of years will place more trust in Unicron himself (who he has literally almost died fighting) then he will in a goat. Specifically the screaming variety. The humans and most of team Prime had never seen Optimus get truly freaked out by anything - that is until he stepped into the base one day and promptly froze on the spot.

A recent sandstorm had destroyed someone's fence and a few of their goats got out. Bumblebee - taking after his sire obviously - saw the animal wandering around the desert and decided to take it back to base until the kids could find out where it lived. Optimus, who was just returning from his patrol, did not expect to return and find that the literal spawn of satan had invaded his home, and therefore was not ready to confront this secret phobia of his (especially not in front of his friends and family). So,,,, he walks in and just,,, stops. Doesn't even blink. Ratchet hasn't seen his optics this wide since he was Orion Pax. The worst part? This fucking goat is just staring him down. No mercy. Optimus can practically feel the pure malice this thing radiates as he tries to remember how to vent.

No one understands what kind of staring contest Optimus and this goat are having, but you could practically cut the tension between them with a knife. Suddenly, this goat just fucking s c r e a m s and Optimus promptly loses his damn mind. He lets out the highest pitch screech he has made in his centuries-long-life, and trips over himself in his haste to get away from this nightmare spawn standing before him.

Long story short, even after watching it happen, no one knows how Optimus scrambled up into the rafters, but he is now refusing to come down until the goat is gone, and is keeping an arm-cannon aimed at it at all times. Yes, he hears at least half of the bases occupants laughing their asses off at him, and yes, he hears Miko practically crying through her laughter, but Primus damn it he is not coming down until that thing is gone, Bumblebee so help me-

Eventually, the goat is removed from the base, and Optimus finally makes his way back to solid ground. His faceplace is practically glowing blue with his embarrassment, and he won't make eye contact with anyone for at least the next two hours, but now that the goat is gone, he's fine. He has to live with the jokes about it from everyone there for the rest of his life, but no matter how much they pester him about it, he refuses to divulge the story about the origin of his incurable fear of goats. He plans to take that story with him to the all spark (He eventually tells Ratchet and Bumblebee, the former of which promises never to tell another soul, the latter attempts to do the same, but accidentally tells Raf, who accidentally tells Miko, who purposefully ensures that everyone else knows by the end of the week. (Optimus isn't too mad, the story is actually quite funny as long as he is not within 3 miles of a goat at any point in the telling of the story.))

Halt: Will?

Will: Yeah Halt?

Halt: When it's only 7:30 in the morning and I've already heard a question that I know will be one of the top three dumbest questions of the day, it depresses me

Will: Sorry Halt

Have quite a few things in the works, but I figured I should post something to show that I'm not actually dead lol. I just finished the chapter layout for a horror/hurt+comfort multichapter fic for hazbin hotel, and I wanted to put a few sneak peaks for anyone interested. It'll take a while to be posted but I think it'll be worth the wait, especially if you enjoy Alastor whump as much as I do lol

again, this is in layout formatting, so it'll change style once the fic's actually written lol

also, while this isn't a part of the series, the next two installments of the therapy pig series are already in production, so dw, those will happen eventually

At first he thought that maybe it was just a prank or an outing Charlie had forgotten to tell him about, but after he discovers he can't even call Husk or Nifty to his side, that's when he starts panicking because he knows that they're Gone. He practically searches every room, tearing the hotel apart for even the slightest hint of what happened to them, and he just becomes more frantic the longer he goes with no leads until he finally collapses in the lobby on the couch and has a proper panic attack. The others try to calm hims down, especially once he starts pulling at his own hair and gouging his arms with his claws, but - obviously - they can't help very much and just have to watch him fall apart.

There's a brief moment where he wonders of they've all just abandoned him, but he dismisses that thought because he knows Charlie would never leave behind the hotel she worked so hard on (the others are struck with the realization that Alastor truly believes that they would abandon him, and Charlie's love of the hotel - the building is the only thing that would keep them from leaving him behind)

Alastor is absolutely consumed with trying to find them - he doesn't take care of himself regularly, he barely sleeps, barely eats, only visits people or does his radio show if it's to help him look for them. He just can't stand the idea of losing anyone else he's grown to care about, so even if everyone else thinks they're dead, Alastor just refuses to believe it. Part of it is the fear of loss and ending up alone once more, but there's a deeper part too.

He knows exactly what it's like to disappear and either have everyone give up too soon or simply not look for them in the first place (both during his 7 year absence and after the battle with Heaven), and he refuses to do the same. He ends up becoming terrified that his contract holder might have done something to them, and reaches out to them

Ironically enough, this is how the others find out that Alastor doesn't own his soul - he's so desperate to find any lead that he'll confront the one he's most afraid of to do it.

In the end, when they eventually manage to find a way to undo the spell, Alastor tries desperately to act unaffected, but after a few denials that he even noticed they were gone, he bursts into tears because he was so terrified that they might be gone forever

And there's definitely going to be a lot of Talks after everything is over and done with because holy FUCK Alastor actually needs some serious therapy and reassurance that the people around him will actually not leave him for whatever reason he's cooked up in his head, and ALSO what the FUCK what do you MEAN that someone owns your soul and held you captive for 7 years??????? Overall there's just A Lot of things that need to be discussed in the aftermath of this shitshow

Been thinking about a fic idea where Charlie botches a spell during a hotel redemption activity, where Alastor is the only one not present for. Lucifer was trying to coach her through the spell, but got distracted because he noticed there was a fucking drone outside the window pointed directly at them.

As far as the drone picks up, one second all the hotel members are there. The next second, they're gone. Vanished.

To the hotel members, they don't notice anything out of the ordinary at first at all. They're still in the hotel, and they can see each other just fine. It's a bit confusing when the drone just... promptly gives up and flies away. But they all figure Lucifer catching it just scared TV face away. So, no big deal.

Then Alastor comes back. Charlie greets him, but he seemingly ignores her. Lucifer, pissed by this attitude, tries to grab him— only for his hand to go right through Alastor's shoulder.

Realization immediately sets in.

They've become ghosts.

Obviously, ghosts don't exist, but this newly discovered spell (Lucifer is definitely trying to reword the situation to make Charlie feel better here) basically gives the properties of the stereotypical ghost.

They can't be seen. They can't interact with the world around them. The only person of their ragtag group who remained untouched by the spell was the singular person who wasn't there— Alastor.

There's more rules to the spell apparently, which they figure out quickly. For one, they are anchored to the hotel. At first, they thought that they couldn't go through walls when Lucifer tried to walk through one to the outside, but it turns out that they CAN walk through walls. They're just blocked from going out of bounds.

The last thing they figure out about the spell is that there doesn't seem to be a time limit. Which, obviously, is very bad. Usually, temporary spells with similar effects only last a couple of hours, but when everyone wakes up the next morning still incapable of grabbing a simple door handle, it becomes evident that they've gotten into a bigger mess than previously thought.

And then, Alastor realizes that everyone is "missing."

And he freaks the fuck out.

Yelling their names, breaking down doors, having straight up panic attacks. And the hotel inhabitants are watching it all happen, unable to say or do anything while Alastor begins physically harming himself, ripping out his hair and gouging deep marks through his skin with his claws.

They already felt pressured to figure out how to undo the spell, but now the pressure is worse because if they don't figure this shit out soon, Alastor may actually permanently hurt himself at the rate he's going.

(A few individuals, meanwhile, are hit with the realization that Alastor may actually care for them. More than he was ever willing to show.)

Ok, hear me out (angst, bc of course)

I've been having these thoughts bounce around my head for about a week and I finally decided to post them. I don't know who's going to see this, but whoever sees it needed to. I guess this is for an AU rather than a headcanon, but whatever, just hear me out. I was inspired by The Owl House, specifically Hunter, so maybe that will spark some interest. This is about to be a rant, so I'll go ahead and add the read more thing

Okay, now that I have your attention, time for angst.

SO, in The Owl House, we learn in season 2 that (SPOILER ALERT) Hunter is a grimwalker (a clone of someone who died for those of you who don't know), and that before him, there were TONS of other grimwalkers that Belos murdered for "choosing to betray him" AKA realizing that Belos was an evil psychotic bitch. Also, that Hunter looked the most like Caleb (the dead guy he was cloned of) out of all the other grimwalkers, but he didn't KNOW that he was a grimwalker until a very angsty reveal by his abuser (Belos) who then immediately tried to murder his ass.

ANYWAYS, obviously, as the angst-lover I am, I think about this literally all the time. Then. I started thinking. I absolutely love Alastor, he's such a blorbo. And what do I do to my blorbos? I give them immeasurable amounts of trauma, c'mon, keep up.

What do we know about Alastor? Well, someone owns his soul. He disappeared for unknown reasons for seven years. He is INCREDIBLY anxious about whoever owns his soul - or at least the deal itself (as evidenced by his musical breakdown where he literally TEARS HIS OWN HAIR OUT FROM THE STRESS), and that he's probably going to use the deal with Charlie either for nefarious purposes, or to escape his deal.

Which brings us to the point of this post in the first place (kind of???? I might have just been mindlessly rambling there), and the start of my AU. I'm not going to pretend I know who owns Alastor's soul, but I really vibe with the idea of it being either Lilith or Roo, so that's who I'll be thinking of for the majority of this post. What if the person who owns his soul made a deal with him when he first got to hell (or it could be one of those versions where someone sold his soul before he was even born [a sort of "I want your first-born kinda deal] and they let him know when he got to hell which is how he got all his power so quickly), but he managed to either tick them off or get really close to escaping the deal, which lead to them killing Alastor.

Then, the contract-owner realizes, "Oh shit, I kind of need him," and finds out how to make whatever the hell equivalent of a grimwalker is. Thus, Alastor 2.0 is born. However, they can't have him knowing he's a clone - he might find a loophole in the deal that way. So they find a way to control which memories he has. They replace all of the memories the OG Alastor had up until whatever it was he did to get killed in the first place - don't want him getting any ideas after all.

This works fine for the contract-holder for a while, but then Alastor is back on the same shit - trying to find loopholes, backdoors, ticking them off, whatever, and oops, there goes another one. Well shit. Guess it's time to make another clone. So, the process is repeated, and the song and dance continues. However, it always concludes the same way - with Alastor's inevitable "betrayal". Also, none of the clones ever seem to look quite right - sometimes the eye color is wrong, or the height, the cheekbones, or the nose shape - whatever it is, something is always off

So, after many failed attempts, they decide to take a different approach. When they make the new clone, they give them the same memories, everything is the same as the previous attempts, except they don't turn him loose right away. Instead, they keep him under their thumb for seven years - really just until there was something they needed him for. Those seven years were spent conditioning him. They were determined to make him perfect. After all, this clone was the one that looked the most like the original Alastor, there was no way they would let him go like the others.

In his time at their side, Alastor endured unspeakable cruelties - beatings, torture, extreme sensory deprivation, emotional manipulation, sleep deprivation, total isolation - you name it, it was almost certainly done during that time. This is also when his smile was sewn on because the contract holder wanted him to smile more, and used his defense mechanism to torture him (smiled to hide weakness, forced to smile against his will, making the smile itself a constant reminder of how powerless he really is). There was rarely an action Alastor did that provoked his contract holder, but that didn't matter. They convinced him that each "punishment" was earned, that they were simply trying to help him see his own shortcomings and failures, and to make him better. Obviously, this is complete bullshit. However, when you live like that long enough, with no other influences, you become conditioned to believe it.

Eventually, for whatever reason, the contract holder released Alastor on strict orders to go to Charlie's hotel, and Alastor is doing exactly what they told him because he's terrified of the idea of being summoned back to their side. He hates his contract holder, but at the same time craves their approval, because if they're happy with him, then he won't be in pain. However, Alastor has to Alastor, and once he's on his own, he starts looking for ways to escape his deal - but he's sneaky about it. Years of constant conditioning made him cautious. He has no memory of ever searching for loopholes before - a least not successfully (bc the contract holder doesn't let the clones remember those things), so he does the best thing he can think of: he makes a deal with the Princess of Hell herself.

I'm definitely going to make another post about this, probably detailing the reveal. Not right now though because I have homework to do, and this is getting to ungodly lengths

(if you want to see the next part when I post it, keep an eye on the '#grimwalker alastor au' tag. I might just make this a whole thing if anyone is interested. I'll make it a whole thing anyways because I feel like it and deep down I post for myself, but if you're interested, I highly encourage you to ask about it [I don't bite!!])