De: Fernando Sabino

only 20 minutes to sleep, but you dream of some epiphany. just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you’ve seen.

-epiphany, taylor swift (2020)

epiphany definition:

a moment of sudden revelation or insight

she’s saying that these healthcare workers or soldiers only have 20 minutes to sleep cause they are in such difficult positions and when they do sleep they’re trying to escape the harsh things they’ve seen. these epiphany’s they are having are comforting.

ⓘ This user is dangerously close to dropping everything at hand and running into the woods.

life would be so different if i was a bookshop owner in a small village near some forest, who has a secret affair with the local poet

help

like

from the dress i wore at midnight leave it all behind

tis the damn season is so me. like. miss dorothea said "yes i have an on and off situationship with my ex whenever i go back to my hometown and we sleep in half the day and they call me babe for the weekend but when it's time for me to leave i will flee their bed without ever discussing what the fuck just happened because emotional intimacy is fucking hard and yes i would rather slip on a mask of indifference and false happiness than communicate to them that i fucking love them and i want them and i need them. i just can't. fucking. say that. so i'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends who'll write books about me if i ever make it and wonder about the only soul that can tell which smiles i'm faking. and the heart I KNOW I'M BREAKING IS MY OWN !! TO LEAVE THE WARMEST BED I'VE EVER KNOWN !!" and she's so fucking real for that.

You are not your own person , really you are not. You are the laughter of your mother . The anger of your father. You are the warmth of your best friend and the kindness of the last book you read. You are pages of torn history , you are the music you sway to and beauty of stars on a clear night . You are the clouds on a rainy day and you are the clear skies on the sunny day. You are fragments of everything and everyone in your life regardless of where they are now. You are not you own person — but the whole universe.

Any nostalgia I feel is literary. It’s not the stillness of evenings in the country that endears me to the childhood I spent there, it’s the way the table was set for tea, it’s the way the furniture was arranged in the room, it’s the faces and physical gestures of the people. I feel nostalgia for scenes. Thus someone else’s childhood can move me as much as my own; both are purely visual phenomena from a past I’m unable to fathom, and my perception of them is literary. They move me, yes, but because I see them, not because I remember them.

Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

“Quando me perguntarem do que eu mais gostei, vou dizer que foi de você.”

— Cidade dos Anjos.