Victorlima1 - João Victor

i keep thinking about digital ghosts. or maybe digital hauntings would be a better term. the final messages shared between you and someone you no longer speak to, for whatever reason. a webpage, or blog post, or inactive profile on a social media forum that you still return to sometimes, no longer even hoping for something to have changed, just to remember, like returning to a grave year after year. video and audio recordings of people who've left your life that you play back over and over until the tape wears out. in the realm of the more fantastical, maybe a hologram that bears their likeness but only a pale, shallow imitation of their complexity, their personality, or an AI or other imperfect replica built on a lifetime of data collected from them that only reinforces their absence but is all you have left to remember (or replace until you forget the difference) them by. all these records that they existed that will inevitably only last as long as the technology that supports them takes to become obsolete, or the data corrupts and begins to break down, or the archives storing it are no longer hosted anywhere. you haven't cheated death, or the grief that comes with losing someone. you've just prolonged it.

Carlisle cullen and aro volturi appreciation post

Distance on the old countryside. Away from the agony, the dread, and the soul devouring thoughts. Allowing the mind to cling to beautiful sights, crafts older than the world, and the sound of falling leaves.

Things I wanna research more:

When movie musicals became second best to theatre musicals

Time theories

Quantum theories

Astronomy

The seven other units at uni that I can’t do for this degree

Did I say time theories

Quantum physics

Physics in general

Psychology things (mental health, trauma, etc)

like

I’ve been trying to make more room for you inside of myself lately, not because the nights are longer without the comforting rhythm of you breathing next to me, not because I know I can close the gap between who I’m not and who I know I can be with a brush your fingers, but I know one day you’ll wake up and the war inside of your head will be over. I learned how to swallow screams too early in life and now they sit at the back of my throat waiting for a name quieter than winter, but my words have loved you since forever, and every time you touch them I know it's you. I don’t know how to fit all my love for you in to this lifetime, but I’m going to do everything I can to try.

carry me in your heart. I want to be where you need me most when I’m too far for your arms to reach.

I’m having a hard time accepting death as I remain alive. I watch my loved ones go but where does my love for them go? I feel it leaving me trying to nest in undeserving places. These other people don’t know what to do with it. I feel it trying to return back to me but I cannot keep it, it does not belong to me. It belongs with them, the ones who are already gone. So I let it get swallowed up by the earth, bits of me I will never get back. I am only a fraction, I carry a hidden life by the side of my life.

Dara Karadag

“Come one, cheer up, it’s nearly Christmas.”

I just wanted you to know that this is me trying.

folklore- taylor swift （ album moodboard ）

Tea Time Emotiku

Monday, 10/24/2022, Grief

Nothing before God / Grief falls on the weary soul / We grow from this, too. © keefderpoet 2022