“Sorry To Disappoint You, We Don’t Keep Much On Us. To Discourage Thieves Like You.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, we don’t keep much on us. To discourage thieves like you.”

After Hours

Part 15

Previous part here

…………………………………………………………………………….

The smile still hadn’t left her face.

When Y/N had answered the door twenty minutes earlier, the delivery man had barely been able to see over the top of the arrangement as he’d greeted her and then handed her the vase. Her eyes had widened in momentary shock as she saw the flowers, and she kindly thanked the delivery man as he’d handed them off to her.

“Someone thinks you’re pretty special,” he’d said to her with a friendly wink, and Y/N had blushed before thanking him again and then heading back inside her apartment. Setting the vase down on her kitchen counter, she then reached for the accompanying message card and carefully pulled it from its small envelope.

Impatiently waiting for 7 o’clock...

Love, Robert

An enormous smile spread across Y/N’s face and her heart skipped a beat as she looked down at the card and his familiar handwriting. She then looked again at the incredibly beautiful, lavish bouquet of two dozen red roses perfectly arranged in the sparkling glass vase, and as she re-read the note, she smiled once more and bit her lip in giddy anticipation.

Tonight, they were finally going on an official date, and to say Y/N was also impatient for 7 o’clock would be a drastic understatement.

Last night, when they’d finally been reunited at the club, they’d found it incredibly difficult to part ways, but Robert was determined to do things right and wanted to take Y/N on an actual first date. Then, he could treat her like the queen that she was and they wouldn’t have to rush through any of it. They could savor finally being able to be together.

Walking hand in hand to the door of the dressing room, Robert had stopped at the threshold and then turned to Y/N, the two of them lightly pressed together as they’d lingered in the doorframe.

“Promise me you’ll write it in your planner as soon as you get home,” Robert said, referring to their date, and he’d looked at her with a smile. “Then I’ll feel assured that it’s actually going to happen.”

Smiling back up at him, Y/N hummed out a little laugh.

“Believe me, I don’t need the planner,” she’d said softly, shaking her head.

Smiling again, Robert leaned forward and tilted his head, softly kissing her once more before reluctantly pulling away. When he did, he held her eyes.

“Promise?” he’d said to her.

“I promise,” Y/N assured him warmly, and then she’d mirrored his action and leaned forward, placing a final small, reassuring kiss on his lips.

“Goodnight,” Robert said when they parted again.

“Goodnight,” she’d whispered back, and although Robert stepped away then, they didn’t immediately drop hands, Y/N’s palm only slipping from Robert’s after he’d taken a few more steps and they were no longer able to hold on. They looked at each other a final time and shared one last smile before Robert then forced himself to walk through the door in the hallway and back out into the club.

Now, looking at the beautiful flowers again, Y/N smiled and bit her lip once more in giddy happiness. She almost couldn’t believe everything that had transpired between her and Robert over the last several weeks, and it felt surreal that they had actually gotten to this point and finally admitted their feelings to each other. She remembered just weeks ago not knowing that Robert felt the same as she did and thinking nothing could ever happen between them, and then all the emotional torture that had followed until last night. It had been a crazy little ride, but she was unspeakably happy that the truth had finally come out and everything had turned out like it had.

And with that thought, Y/N had a call to make.

Sitting down on the sofa, she grabbed her phone and pressed the contact before hearing two rings and then the call being answered.

“Why are you calling me and not getting ready for your evening with Mr. Fischer?” came Jason’s voice.

Smiling, Y/N replied.

“That’s not for another eight hours.”

“Isn’t that how long you need to get ready?”

Laughing, Y/N shook her head to herself.

“No, I only need five, so it’s a little early,” she replied jokingly.

“And let me guess, you’re hoping I’ll come over and distract you for a few hours?”

“That would be correct,” Y/N smiled and chuckled again.

“I’m on my way,” Jason said.

When he arrived twenty minutes later, Jason’s eyes were immediately drawn to the large bouquet of roses on Y/N’s counter, and when he read the accompanying card, he looked at Y/N and smiled.

“Do you know where he's taking you tonight?” he asked.

"No," Y/N replied with a shake of her head. "He told me that he wants it to be a surprise. But when I asked him if a cocktail dress would be the right kind of thing to wear, he said yes, so..."

"I'm sure he's taking you somewhere unspeakably fancy and expensive," replied Jason.

Y/N shook her head.

"I just can't believe this is even happening," Y/N said as she looked at Jason, the two of them walking into her living room and sitting on the couch.

“I need to thank you,” she continued, speaking again after they sat down. “What you did for me, Jason, is something I don’t think I could repay you for. And I’m not just saying that in regard to how you helped Robert and I clear everything up. I’m saying it also about the fact that you stood up for me the way you did. Because even if nothing had changed with the situation with Robert, the fact that you did what you did is so beyond supportive.”

Jason smiled as Y/N looked at him.

"You've always been just as supportive of me,” he said to her. “When I came out to my family and they wouldn’t talk to me for months. Or when Kevin and I broke up and you let me live with you. When I was depressed and could barely function, and you kept me smiling. You’ve always been there for me when I needed it most. So, consider what I did just paying you back for all that."

Y/N shook her head.

"Payback was never necessary. I hope you know that."

"I do,” Jason smiled. “But also, in this case, I had no choice. You and Robert were both behaving like such idiots that I had to intervene for my own sanity.”

Laughing and smiling back at him, Y/N leaned forward and gave Jason a warm hug.

"Thank you for being the best friend anyone could ever ask for," she said to him.

Hugging Y/N back, Jason replied.

"Ditto," he said.

After releasing each other, Jason looked back over his shoulder at the flowers Robert had sent Y/N, and then he looked to her again.

"You know, when he was leaving the club last night, he said something similar to me.”

“What do you mean?” Y/N asked.

“Before he left the club last night, he stopped to thank me,” explained Jason. “He said that he didn’t know how he could ever repay me for helping you two work things out, and when I jokingly said that a Porsche would be nice, he offered to call the salesman he knows at the Porsche dealership. I mean, he knew I was joking, but he was still seriously prepared to call the guy.”

Laughing again, Y/N shook her head.

“Well, it’s not a Porsche, but I do have something I can offer you as a token of thanks,” she said, getting up from the couch and walking to the kitchen to grab a foil-covered plate from her countertop.

“Will double-fudge brownies suffice?” she asked Jason with a smile as she moved back to the couch and held the plate out to him.

Looking up at Y/N with a smile, Jason replied.

“Lucky for you, I like chocolate better than I like luxury cars.”

•.•.•.•.•

All while she was getting ready that evening, Y/N could not stop smiling to herself. She still could hardly believe she was finally going on a date with Robert, and her heart kept skipping in thrilled nervousness.

It was such a unique situation, because while they both had already expressed that they loved each other, which was absolutely true, this was the first time they’d ever be allowing themselves to behave in a way that reflected that. Up until last night, their interactions had never been romantic, and Y/N was absolutely giddy and almost in disbelief that she and Robert were finally going to be able to be that way with each other.

As the last minutes ticked away before 7:00 p.m., Y/N was nearly done getting ready and went into the bathroom to give herself a final check in the mirror. She’d done her makeup a bit more dramatically than she would do for work, and she’d styled her hair in long, loose curls. She’d chosen a deep teal dress with a floral pattern, the skirt long but ruched on one side, and the straps sitting off the shoulder.

As she looked at herself, she blushed uncontrollably as she remembered that, although she hadn’t known it at the time, Robert had already seen her in much less. She literally winced in embarrassment as she recalled the sultry black lingerie she’d had on when he’d apparently been at the club the very first time.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to see her like that eventually, but it was all still just kind of embarrassing. He’d found out she performed without her knowing, and he’d seen much more of her than he ever would have seen yet under normal circumstances. She knew he hadn’t done it to embarrass her, but she just felt kind of self-conscious about the whole thing. Not because she was ashamed, but it was just a side of her that Robert had seen before she’d been prepared to share it with him, before they’d even confessed their feelings.

Y/N didn’t know how or if they’d address it, but she tried not to think about it too much. What mattered is that they had gotten to this point now.

After applying her lipstick and slipping her feet in her shoes, she had just finished putting on her earrings and fastening her necklace around her neck when her buzzer rang. Her heart pounding, she pressed her intercom to allow Robert into the lobby, telling him she’d be right down.

After hearing Y/N on the intercom and entering the lobby of her building, Robert once again could hardly believe tonight was finally happening. He’d wanted this with Y/N for so long, and he tried to calm his nerves as he stood in the lobby.

Just as he’d written in the note he’d included with her flowers, he'd been impatiently waiting all day for tonight. While it had been an absolutely torturous past two weeks when he had thought he’d ruined his chance with her and that there was no fixing it, it was absolutely worth it for the fact that he and Y/N had finally admitted their feelings for each other and were now at this point. He’d willingly go through it all again if it meant the same outcome.

And now, Robert was nervous yet also indescribably elated that the two of them were finally going to be able to pursue this. While they already confessed that they loved each other, it was almost like everything was happening in reverse order. You were supposed to date first, and then fall in love, but because of their unique situation, he and Y/N had done it backwards. They already knew so much about each other, were already in love, but until now, they'd never been able to express that.

As he waited in the lobby, Robert absentmindedly reached up and fiddled with the knot of his tie. It was the tie he owned that always reminded him of Y/N, as she'd helped him clean a stain out of it one day right before a big meeting they'd had together.

Yet again recalling the situation, Robert smiled to himself as he remembered the way Y/N had hurriedly yanked it out of his hand after he'd removed it and quickly grabbed a small bottle of club soda from the table of refreshments in the meeting room that no one else had occupied yet. After returning from the ladies' room after cleaning the stain and drying the tie under the hand dryer, Y/N had stepped back up to Robert and reached forward to loop it back around his neck. As Robert re-tightened the knot, their eyes had met when Y/N had her hands on his collar, fixing it over the tie for him without even thinking. Suddenly realizing halfway through her actions what she was doing, Y/N had blushed as she'd dropped her hands from his neck and stepped back.

As soon as she'd created space between them, the other meeting attendees began filtering into the room, but Robert had caught Y/N's eyes a final time and thanked her, and she'd given him the sweetest little smile before they were both forced to turn their attention to the meeting. It was a moment between them that Robert would never forget, as he'd felt such intimacy between them which he'd wondered if Y/N had felt, too. Of course, she had, but at that time, neither of them could admit it.

Now, finally, they didn't have to push those feelings down.

Y/N on one side of the elevator doors and Robert on the other, each of them took a final deep breath in an attempt to calm their nerves as the anticipation that had been building since last night would finally be over. And when the elevator slowed to a stop and Y/N's arrival at the lobby was signaled by the ding of the bell, both she and Robert were both still nervous, but also more than ready.

After so long, they were finally going to be able to be together.

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59 notes View Post

vervainandspritz

5 months ago

Hi guys!

Since the thing seems to start raising again, I'm opening my anon asks/normal asks/DMs for questions about the predatory thing that happened at the beginning of 2024. This whole thing was not true, and the two people who began this whole thing (Red and @kittenonpluto) are fully aware of it since April. I've proved myself then, and I'll be happy to do so now.

I feel like there are some people among readers who actually have enough of a decency to see the situation from both sides.

Not a predator, never been, and won't be.

K x

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

~~

Y/N was never a light sleeper, but this particular time waking up felt way more difficult than usual. Her head was hurting from all the crying and the last thing she could remember was Tommy holding her against his chest and the familiar scent of his cologne mixed with his own unique scent before she nodded off, unable to handle the recent events.

“Mrs. Shelby, you're awake” One of the maids spoke up with a gentle smile, putting a steaming tea on the nightstand by her side.

Sitting up, Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“I'm not a Shelby” She responded with more annoyance than she'd like.

“Oh” The older woman said with a hint of shame. “My apologies. Mr. Shelby asked to bring you tea and some pain relief tonic,”

Y/N nodded, thanking her quietly before she rose from the bed, looking around. The room looked familiar in a less than pleasurable way, just like the clothes she was wearing. Sighing deeply she walked out of the room, seeing the dark corridor of the places she once called home.

After getting refreshed and dressed, Y/N walked toward the grand staircase. She stopped cold, feeling goosebumps running through her spine in the worst possible way when she saw the monumental portrait of Thomas and her in the stairwell. One she used to see everyday. The eyes on the portrait looked as lively as ever, mocking the pain she held in her chest every time she saw it. There she was, the former lady of the house, laying claim to her domain even from the grave. The longer she stared at her, the more she felt Grace was taunting her. “You may have been his woman once, but I have his heart and his ring on my finger now.” The words rang in her ears, coming from the depths of her memory, loud as the day she heard them for the first time. Y/N couldn't seem to be able to tear her gaze away, silently battling the ghost that seemed to curse her relationship forever.

She stood there for a long moment, immersed in the painting so much that she didn't realise she was being watched.

Thomas stood in the doorway on the other side of the corridor, watching her silently losing the battle as shame gnawed on his insides. He should have thrown it away long ago, but it was the last thing on his mind as he desperately looked for Y/N everywhere. The dead woman on his wall wasn't a big concern.

“You're awake” He spoke up, unable to handle the silence anymore.

She turned around, almost startled, as he caught her staring at her. The first thing she noticed were the glasses on his nose, and she fought against the little smirk that tried to appear on her lips so badly.

“What am I doing here? Where are the boys?” She asked, straight to the point. Thomas shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, knowing she wouldn't be happy with the news.

“Boys are with Frances upstairs, playing.” He responded, looking her in the eyes. “You're not safe outside of Arrow house. You three need to stay here until the vendetta is over.”

“What if you had more men surrounding my flat instead?” Y/N bargained.

“It’s too dangerous and I need my men concentrated not spread out over cities” he replied, already prepared for the questions he knew she'd ask.

She wanted to argue so badly. Y/N wanted to be free from him and the reminders of the past that this house held. But she knew that receiving a black hand was a serious threat she didn’t have the capacity to handle by herself.

“The only reason I'm not leaving right now is because I need to keep them safe.” She said, stepping closer. “...and if anything happens to us, I want you to know that it's all your fault.”

Despite knowing and seeing the pure hatred in her eyes, Thomas could never fully brace himself for the impact of her words.

“Nothing will happen to any of you. I give you my word” He said, quieter this time.

“Your word means nothing to me, Thomas. Just… just stay away from us as much as possible.” Y/N added, wanting to walk away.

“You can't expect me to stay away. They.. are my kids. My sons.” He said suddenly, and the confidence and fierceness of his voice made her stop in her tracks. “I regret losing you every single day. Every day I grieved the loss of my bloody heart, and then I found out there's three I should have been grieving. But you're here, and so are they. So I won't let yo–them go.” He hissed out, almost frantically and the vulnerability in his eyes made her slightly tremble. It hurt even more, because she waited so long to hear.. anything. Any crumb of reassurance would be enough to keep her here, but he didn't say a fucking word.

Straightening her back, Y/N inhaled a deep breath, looking back at the bloody portrait who was witnessing the whole scene. Seconds later she looked at him again, and the fire in his eyes was more lively, outweighing the dead, judgemental stare.

“They won't call you their father. If you break this rule, you won't see us again.”

***

The next day Y/N woke up, bracing herself for another battle as she walked down the stairs and to her surprise, the portrait was… gone. Her heart thumped wildly at the realisation and she couldn't believe her eyes. Suddenly the tension in the house seemed to have lessened.

Walking to the kitchen, she noticed Thomas sitting by the table with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in his hand, as he read the newspaper. It felt weirdly domesticated and the thought alone made her smirk.

“Did the boys eat?” She asked, not sure what to expect.

“Frances fed them an hour ago. Tommy is napping in the living room, and Nick is picking daisies with Mary in the garden.” He responded in a calm tone, not tearing his gaze away from the newspaper.

Silence hung in the air as they each did their own thing

Finishing up her breakfast, Y/N cleared her throat again as she looked at the wall in front of her.

“The portrait is gone” She pointed out in an emotionless voice, not looking at him. A couple longer moments passed before she heard him exhale a cloud of smoke.

“What portrait? He responded, and Y/N’s lips stretched into a subtle smile before she grabbed her plate and walked away.

A couple days later Y/N still avoided him, occasionally getting to talk to John or Arthur, but both of them were distracted by the giant threat hanging over the family. Polly seemed to keep it together the best, coming over whenever she felt like it for some female company.

Y/N said her goodbyes to Polly, going to put the cups into the sink and cleaning the mess after Nick. She wasn't used to having maids doing everything for her, so it was more comfortable to just clean the mess herself. Nick himself was currently spending time with his uncles by the stables, and Tommy was… who knows where.

After cleaning, Y/N went looking for the other boy, asking Frances who just directed her to the little room where the toys were stored.

She expected everything, but not the view she saw arriving in the doorway. Little Tommy sat back on his legs, watching with wide eyes and furiously colouring the different shapes Thomas drew for him.

“Dat?” Tommy asked suspiciously, pointing towards the crooked flower on the paper and glancing at him with big eyes.

“This?” He asked with a grin, “that's a flower” he explained, to which the boy nodded, narrowing his eyes lightly.

“...and dat?!” He asked suddenly in a squeaky tone, seeing the car Thomas drew for him.

“That's a car. Almost” He chuckled, seeing the crooked shapes as he tried his very best.

Tommy nodded, grinning in the same way as his father before glancing at his mum.

“Hi!” He waved, before pointing to the flower again. “fwowa!” he said proudly, pushing his little chest forward.

Thomas just laughed quietly, putting the pencil down.

“Good job, little man” he said, before slowly rising from the floor with a groan.

“Oh God, I'm too old for this” He whispered with a chuckle, glancing at Y/N who wasn't able to suppress the smile on her face after she heard Tommy talk. “Don't smile like that, now it's your turn.” Thomas added, passing by her in the doorway, his shoulder brushing against hers.

***

The next couple weeks were… rougher. Changretta was relentless in his search, which turned into a couple of seriously dangerous situations where John got shot in the chest barely coming out alive. Polly didn't agree with a lot of Thomas' actions, despite his inability to back off right now. He stood his ground, no matter how difficult it was sometimes to keep Y/N inside Arrow house whenever worse moments would arrive. And they did, fairly frequently.

The pull he felt became stronger and stronger, no matter how many daggers she kept throwing. Spewing the words she held deep inside, reminding him of the monster he used to be… or maybe still was? He couldn't tell. The view in the reflection of his mirror was so blurry, that it didn't matter. As long as she saw him to be fit enough to be around boys.

The house was completely quiet as he made his way through the corridor, lacking the usual sounds of kids playing or Y/N walking from one room to the other. Walking past the library, he caught a glimpse of light coming from the room that made him stop in his tracks.

His hands trembled with anxiety. The fear settled in his ribs over three years ago and hasn't left him once, even though they were here.

Thomas was aware of how powerless he was once the vendetta was over. The thought of them leaving the house and never coming back was making his heart squeeze painfully, reminding him of the privilege he once had, but gave it up willingly. The fear was like a loop, tightening around his throat with each passing day as he grew comfortable coming home and seeing them here.

Walking into the library, Thomas was completely quiet, wanting nothing but to see her if it was all he could count on. He was completely unaware of the fact that she always felt his presence. Sometimes letting him stay, and other times making him leave so desperately that made him wonder whether it was possible to day from a broken heart.

Step after step he tried to control his shallow breathing as he finally saw her. Standing by the big shelf, he traced over the backs of books standing there for so long, it felt like they were always there.

“You wouldn't like that one” He spoke up quietly, noticing how she didn't even budge hearing his voice. It took a longer moment before she replied.

“How so?” Her voice was calm, light-hearted as she found herself lost in the countless stories filling up the wooden shelves. The nagging thoughts in his mind disappeared the second he heard her voice.

“Because you don't like uncertainty. It's filled with unanswered questions and has an open ending.” He thought for a moment before replying, well aware of the content of this book, because he read them all. In the moments of despair, trying to hold onto every scrap of feelings in the house so empty, it felt like nobody lived inside.

Sighing deeply, Y/N put the book back in its place, grabbing another one.

“Nobody likes uncertainty, Thomas. Holding onto the moment, unsure of what's to come.” She sighed, hearing his slow footsteps approaching. “A book is just a book. You can close it, and move onto another one anytime. If only life was just as easy.”

Silence in the room caused the whole scenery to become more intimate, unexpectedly even for him. Stopping mere inches behind her, he watched the back of her head for a moment, remembering the nightmares he had every night. Ones where he couldn't reach her, no matter how he tried.

His breath caught in his throat as he slowly raised his hand, moving it closer and closer towards her shoulder. Inches away, he noticed the goosebumps covering her skin. Without looking he reached out to the shelf, grasping onto the book he knew by heart, while his arm brushed against her own.

He stood close, too close, and Y/N knew it too well, yet she couldn't bring herself to make him leave or pull away. The way he trembled as his chest pressed lightly against her back made her stand still.

“You'd love this one” He whispered, not feeling brave enough to speak loudly. The uncertainty they talked about he knew better than anything else.

Her breathing became heavier, feeling him so close, the tingling on her skin she hadn't felt for so long almost made her flinch. Slowly, she turned around facing him.

This, Thomas didn't expect as she suddenly looked up, their eyes meeting in a gaze long forgotten, yet still alive and lively as when they looked for the first time.

“I don't read anymore” She confessed quietly, and his eyes couldn't help but watch her lips intently. The way they wrapped around the words she spoke.

The urge to grab and hold her closer was strong, almost too strong. Tommy tilted his head to the side, getting a better look at her face in the dim light.

“I can read it to you” He offered quietly, as it was the closest she allowed him to… just be near her.

So he waited, scared of ruining the moment as she moved closer. Their noses brushing against each other.

“I wanted you to speak, not read.” The sound of her voice was like the most beautiful music he ever got to listen to, even though the words were far from it. “...but now it's too late, and you're standing too close.” her breath touched his lips, taunting.

…and then she pulled away, leaving him standing there. Slowly making her way out of the library.

“You're cruel” He said, loud enough for Y/N to hear.

***

Y/N opened her eyes suddenly, sitting up as she took a deep breath, desperately trying to blink away the nightmare she had. The clock showed three AM in the morning, and her heart was pounding from the fear she felt. One she rarely felt anymore, feeling as Thomas was taking it over day by day, despite her unwillingness to share anything. Even the broken, ugly parts he ruined.

His cold eyes kept looking at her in the dream, so unfazed by the idea of her absence. The humiliation turned into physical tears rolling down her cheeks as the memories clouded her reasoning.

Getting up from her bed, she remembered the way he touched her. Avoiding her eyes, throwing his head back. Not bothering to bare himself, so eager to take but never give. Forcing her to pour from a completely empty cup.

Her bare feet were cold against the floor as she quickly made her way through the corridor, knowing where she'd find him. Swiftly opening the door to his office, Y/N didn't bother to say a word or wipe her tears away as she quickly walked up, not looking him in the eyes.

“Y/N?” He asked, taking his glasses off and setting them on his desk while she suddenly pulled him back, creating more space to straddle his lap. Tears kept streaming in a smaller amount, but never ending as she ripped his shirt open, baring his chest.

“What are you–” He tried to speak up, but she didn't let him, as she pressed her lips against his so aggressively his breath caught in his throat.

Pulling on his belt she unbuckled it skillfully, a motion she knew too well from all these years ago. The inner pain burned her chest as she kissed and bit him, while pushing his arms away.

“Shut up” She hissed, as the humiliation from the memories took over her mind. The shame of giving and never asking for more. Of being taken and left without any rest. Pulling his pants open she stroked him impatiently, doing just enough to get him going. It wasn't difficult, as he was the only man she ever slept with, knowing his habits and body more than she'd care to admit.

Her nails raked over his throat and chest, ripping a deep groan from his throat.

He didn't dare to ask, feeling and giving everything she wanted to take. Despite the burning, the physical attraction and need she felt was stronger, her arousal glistening and visible as she lined him up with her entrance, not caring enough to be slow or subtle as she sank down on him fully. A subtle moan pushed past her lips as she squeezed her eyes tightly, doing the same thing he used to.

His eyes were wide open, taking the beautiful sight of her on top of him, but the expression on her face made him hurt so badly, he thought he might not survive. He reached out, wanting her to look at him, but she refused, keeping her eyes squeezed tightly as she moved on top of him frantically chasing her release.

“Y/N” He begged quietly, as her hands wrapped around his throat, squeezing to cause pain.

“I hate you. I hate you so much” She whimpered, as his fingers dug into her thighs.

“Please” He whispered, and she let go of his throat, digging her nails into his shoulders.

Thomas wanted to reach out to wipe her tears away, but he knew she wouldn't let him.

So he leaned forward, his forehead pressing against her collarbone when he let out a shaky breath.

“I love you” He whispered weakly, holding her tightly as she haven't stopped moving even for a second, brimming on the edge.

“I hate you. I fucking hate you” She cried out, opening her eyes as she looked down at him, meeting his gaze. His eyes were half lidded but he didn't give up, staring and repeating like mantra.

“I love you” kept spilling from his lips as she reached her peak, causing him to follow right after as they reached the release.

His head fell forward, tears escaping his tired eyes as she quickly got off of him, leaving him without a word.

***

Y/N was growing increasingly restless inside of the Arrow House. Her days had been filled with reading and finding activities to keep her sons occupied, which took less time than usual, as Thomas took every opportunity to spend time with them. There was one room she had only been in once prior on this visit. She shuddered at the memory of her desperate conflicted intimacy with Thomas. Y/N knew that room would hold a concentrated form of his presence and essence, even more so after that night. She wasn’t sure if she felt strong enough to enter his sanctum again, but while Thomas was away on business and her boys were having their afternoon nap, the curiosity overcame her hesitation as she entered his space.

It was incredibly… him with deep mahogany furnishings and sumptuous emerald accents. During that night, she had paid no attention to the surroundings in the office - only to him and her inner emotions. Slowly she went deeper into his study, turning on a lamp at his desk. She could picture him here with those round glasses on, absorbed in matters of business both legitimate and less so. To the side of his desk was a small curio cabinet filled with antiquities and presumably family mementos. It hardly garnered a second thought from her until she noticed a figurine on the top shelf next to an old photograph of Thomas and his siblings. It was the figurine.

Before the war, before everything changed, she and Thomas would wander around Birmingham together - young and full of optimism. Both their families were poor and doing their best to survive in the cruel world, but they were the dreamers of their respective clans. He and Y/N often visited a certain shop that sold trinkets and collectables. Y/N yearned to be able to spend money on frivolous little objects like these one day. There was a specific figurine that she longed to own: a porcelain ballerina with graceful fingers and a white and pink lace ruffled skirt. She thought ballerinas were the most fairy-like women that walked the Earth. Of course neither of them could afford such a beautifully crafted figurine, but Y/N swore that one day they would walk in that shop and purchase her ballerina without a second thought to the cost.

That never happened, yet here it was, that same figurine she had seen so many years before sitting in Thomas’ curio cabinet in his most sacred space of his home. She didn’t know what it meant, but she felt tears prick her eyes at the reminder of those beautiful days from their youth. If only they could be like that again. If only the war and the turmoil after it hadn’t soured the tender young love they had known.

“I see you found your way back to my study” Thomas’ deep voice called from the doorway. Y/N was startled. She had been so lost in her memories and feelings that she hadn’t noticed his presence. She shifted awkwardly.

“Yeah, it seems like it.” She responded, glancing towards the curio cabinet. He slowly came up closer, a small grin on his face.

“What did you find?” Thomas asked, tilting his head to the side. Of course he knew what she saw, but wanted to hear it.

“I can’t believe you remembered my ballerina” Y/N said, not meeting his gaze.

“I went back to the shop to get it, but old Mr. Jones said he’d sold it years before. It took some hunting, but I eventually found her. I was hoping to someday show it to you, but… seems like you found her instead.”

“Why?” she questioned him in a small voice.

“Because this is how I remember you. You always said the ballerina was like a fairy or goddess come to Earth, but to me… when I saw that ballerina figure, I saw you.” Y/N’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she glanced back towards the cabinet and then back at the man in front of her. Letting out a deep sigh, she wiped her eyes.

“Why now? Why did it take you so long to… to do this? Anything. I waited so long and… and now it's too late, Thomas.” She said, looking at him with an expression that crushed him. Feeling his breath hitch painfully, he felt his throat tightening. He had grieved over losing her and now that Y/N was physically here, she had never felt more far away from him.

After looking into her eyes for a longer moment, Tommy grabbed her hand, slowly straightening it against his palm while the other one reached to his holster, pulling out his gun. Y/N’s eyes widened, but his gaze remained locked on hers, not faltering.

Finally, he didn't feel the fear. Holding the loaded gun, he slowly shoved it into her smaller hand, aiming it forward before he closed his eyes. Pushing his forehead against the muzzle tightly, keeping her wrist upright.

“Then kill me.” He said out loud, the words hanging in the air for a moment. “Because otherwise I will never let you go, no matter how hard you try.”