Okay So I’ve Had The Gwynriel Head Canon For A While And I Need To Share It.

*takes you on a museum date and proceeds to explain the most disgusting and bizarre facts to you with unveiled excitement*

i need help understanding mor and the dynamic between cassian and azriel.

TLDR; i dont get why this dynamic is so important! for mor, its two issues here and they aren’t connected. mor can reject az and keep her true sexuality a secret so why is she so insistent on being shitty to az? azriel getting rejected isn’t going to break his entire heart forever; az is a big boy he will be ok. god i hate this dynamic so much.

ok so this girl doesn’t have the courage to tell azriel that she doesn’t like him that way (or ever).

but its been 500 years of pining; like ?? i think he knows his heart has been broken?? hes a spy master; his entire profession is him seeking secrets and i would even assume knowing how to read people and such. i feel like after 500 years, he can pretty much confirm shes not interested in him. and then using cassian whenever theyre together should also signify something? are we banking on azriel to be a Head Empty dumbo man who doesn’t have an ounce of self awareness and emotional intelligence here?? mor constantly flirts w cassian as a joke. mor needing cassian to be a buffer sounds like she just wants him as the third wheel but nothing else and thats really shitty thing to do. how can she think she can keep it up?? how can she also assume cassian won’t try to find love?? she doesn’t love az why stop him from finding love???

she straight up only likes females no? she’s already sleeping with other people. thats a known fact. azriel has also slept w other people. they dont sleep together but they do just hang out–like buddies?? they go to ritas, they hang out in the houses at valeris, they do night court jobs together-ish but thats it? that sounds like what friends do. so if she rejects azriel, the worst that seems to happen is that they won’t hang out like they used to.

i flipped through ACOWAR to make sure im not missing anything and this is part of what she says:

“I’m not sure I can give my entire heart to him in that way. And…and I love him enough to want him to find someone who can truly love him like he deserves. And I love myself….I love myself enough to not want to settle until I find that person, too” (ACOWAR, 592)

“I should tell him. I need to tell him. Mother above, after last night, I should. But…It’s gone on for so long. So long. I’m petrified to face him–to tell him he’s spent five hundred years of pining for someone and something that won’t ever exist. The potential fallout…I like things the way they are.”  (ACOWAR, 593)

she says this shit!! two contradictory paragraphs!!! how are you gonna be like let az find love/i want to find love and then backtrack and be like wait i like this dynamic??? what??????? in between those two line she says this:

“It’s stupid, I know. It’s so stupid and cruel that I do this, but…I slept with Helion just to remind Azriel…Gods, I can’t even say it. It sounds even worse saying it.”

“To remind him that you’re not interested.” (ACOWAR, 593)

what is this?? literally what the fuck?? this line right here makes mor sound like such a dick. this is literally cruel; she knows hes got intense feelings for her but she does this still?? is this some kind of power trip she likes???

yes it can be heart breaking to lose a friend but at the same time stringing them along and being so elusive is worse is it not?? yes it will probably hurt az a lot especially if his feelings are super intense but i think they as characters are capable of going past this. it might not be like before, but they will still be supportive of one another.

but also consider this: what would be the consequence of rejecting azriel? will he go on a rampage? will he shut out the IC forever? will he abandon them? is there a darkness to him that makes mor afraid to speak her actual feelings? cuz i feel like at worst it would be a few awkward moments here and there but ultimately it would just be over with and they will be friends again. does she really believe that az would continue to be a hopeless puppy following her around in the hope of her loving him forever or does she think he’ll reject love forever if she rejects him? she hasn’t given him actual romantic love back so he might not be missing much. and even her words about fucken helion just to remind az she’s not interested is treating him shity enough (which also leads me to why does he love mor? did he know her before rhys brought her to the illyrian camp all those years ago when she and cassian did it?) i know she wants to keep liking females a secret, but rejecting az won’t make people automatically assume she isn’t straight.

i can’t help but think literally all of mor’s reasoning for not telling az and keeping the dynamic going is garbage. the stakes aren’t that high! shes being a bad friend and stifling both cassian and azriel! idk how az’s heart isn’t already breaking?? im really mad SJM is trying to play this up as a big thing and making this dynamic seem so important to these characters but for mor, its two issues here and they aren’t connected. mor can reject az and keep her true sexuality a secret. azriel getting rejected isn’t going to break his entire heart forever; az is a big boy he will be ok. god i hate this dynamic so much.

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I am awaiting the Tech and Phee reunion which will I hope happen in front of Crosshair and when she grabs Tech and kisses him Cross is going to be like

You know what? I want Valkyrie shenanigans. Give me Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn debating if - no, not it - how long it would take to suffocate a man with their legs. Straight up, manslaughter by the power of thighs, and spite alone. 

Nesta is out of the running because Cassian distracts her too much. Emerie obviously would rather do something else with someone else. Gwyn is too competitive to let this go and she is a woman of science - she needs to know. 

Cassian snorts and tells her “good luck” - not quite picking up the chaotic determination she has. Enter Azriel, who agrees to be her sparing partner, and when she asks if she can try a new move, for curiosity sake, he allows it. He does not know what he is signing up for and his shadow didn’t snitch on their favorite girl. 

She’s pulling some Natasha Romanoff shit. 

Em and Nes find them in a very suggestive position but Gwyn is gleeful to have Azriel’s head locked between her legs, and she’s so close to literally sitting on is face, and she’s squealing. “ONE MINUTE AND THIRTY-SIX SECONDS! THIRTY-SEVEN! THIRTY-EIGHT…” 

He’s NOT tapping out - he’s not going to admit defeat - but he’s turning blue and he’s slapping her knee as he’s biting back whatever he wants to say. 

Cassian is standing behind them, shell shocked. Of ways to go, Azriel, is this really it, you kinky son-of-a-bitch?! Gwyn is so delighted to have this man on the brink of death - and Azriel is too stubborn to admit it. 

He’s literally flapping around like a fish out of water. He’s struggling and she’s not letting up. At this point, Emerie and Nes are blockading Cassian who’s pretty sure Azriel is too dumb to admit he’s out breath. The Valkyries want to see this through. 

Gwyn’s weakness? Tickling - and she’s screaming as he found her weak spot. She tumbling off him, crying in laughter, and he gasping for air, blue in the face. He’s glaring at the audience and basically same energy as this. 

I think about him a normal amount

daily reminder that azriel SMILES!! when he met feyre he smiled! when he gave nesta her gift, he smiled! he laughs!! u think he survived hell just to never smile or be happy?? sure he might play it coy sometimes, usually to rile cassian and rhys up, but he laughs into his tea and bites his lip to keep from smiling and openly grins!! and that’s canon! LET THIS MAN BE HAPPY IN PEACE I BEG OF U.

THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL THE LAST DOMINO WILL NOT FALL

jedi council disciplinary conference

tags @sleepdeprivedstuff @vanilla-chip-101 @penguinkiwi

Cassian: boob is too funny......tit is too aggressive.....breast is too formal.....

Azriel: it’s seven in the morning

Rhys: “So let’s see if I’ve got this; you have immense shadow power, incredible combat skills, height, tattoos, secrets, dead parents, a thirst for vengeance, the weight of the world on your shoulders, a rebellion to lead, and a dragon?”

Xaden: “Yeah? I mean, there’s also my girlfriend who I’m completely in love with and 107 people under my protection but-”

Rhys: *frantically flipping through papers* “this is the hyper-intelligent girlfriend with unprecedented lightning powers? The one you speak to with your mind and call a nickname permanently?”

Xaden: “I do only have the one girlfriend. Kinda offended you’d think otherwise.”

Rhys: *signs a paper* “Adopted. The rebellion thing is handled. Me and your aunts and uncles have got this. Your new mom is going to need some time to add you and your mate to the family portrait gallery. Your bedroom is upstairs, knives are in the training ring, family dinner is every Thursday, your allowance is infinity and your curfew is never.”

Xaden: “I am…. Older than your wife?”

Rhys: “Did I fucking stutter?”