This Reminds Me Of The Old Batman And Robin Show Re-runs When I Was Kid. The Catchphrase "Holy (Insert

Cryptid Bruce

Martha and Thomas Wayne struggled to have a child for years and Thomas meets a shady man who tells him that a child will come to them soon

Thomas just ‘??? okaaaaaay’s him but in a week, Martha bursts into his office looking frazzled

“We’re being haunted.”

“….”

“Don’t give me that look, Thomas Wayne. The Manor. It’s haunted. Alfred! Tell him we’re being haunted!”

And Alfred comes in, also looking frazzled but to a lesser degree.

The two explain that things are moving around the Manor without any kind of explanation, but Thomas doesn’t believe them. Until he notices things in his office also being moved. The weirdest event is when they start hearing a child’s giggles. No explanation. None.

Not until Thomas, sleep deprived after going over paperwork for one too many hours, pops into the kitchen and…there is a child. Sitting on the kitchen counter.

The child, a boy, turns. Grins. Waves.

“Hi, daddy.”

—

Bruce, they name him, can melt into shadows. He finds it hilarious. Martha thinks she’s going to go grey at her young age. She adores him. Thomas adores him. He’s their son now.

The Waynes have a mysterious child, but they keep their private lives very private, so maybe they just successfully hid a pregnancy? And then a child. For…three years. They think Bruce is three, at least.

Despite how odd of a child Bruce is, they love him dearly. He’s some kind of miracle. A…very weird, possibly magical(?) miracle.

—

Dick thinks his adoptive father is strange. Extremely strange. Bruce makes absolutely no noise when he moves. He doesn’t cast shadows but he seemingly is able to *blend into them*. His smile, whilst genuine, seems a little too sharp.

He thinks he’s a vampire.

Bruce laughs so hard, he doubles over.

“No, but I am the Batman, so I guess you’re not far off.”

“…is this a joke?”

“Nope.”

“A dream?”

Bruce pinches him and Dick yelps.

Bruce doesn’t explain to Dick what he is, because he doesn’t have a clue himself. He just…is.

—

But when Jason comes along, he has a million and one questions. Bruce blinks at him.

“How did you do that? You literally *melted* into the shadows!”

Bruce shrugs.

“No. *No*. Explain.”

“I…can’t.”

“You said no secrets, B!”

Bruce puts his hands up defensively. “It’s not a secret! I really don’t know! It just…kind of happens.”

Jason stares at him. Bruce stands there. He seems to flicker? The edges of his body go a bit transparent and Dick knows he only does that when he’s stressed.

“Leave him alone, Jay. He’s telling the truth. He’s just…like that. But he’s still Bruce.”

It takes Jason two months to accept it. By then, his questions are more from genuine intrigue and wonder. He hides under Batman’s cape and somehow it’s spacious? It can even fit Dick at the same time. No one (but Bruce) can even hear them when they’re under there.

And then one day, when he goes to take a nap under Bruce’s cape, someone else is there.

“….B?”

“…”

“You know what I’m going to ask.”

“…”

“*Bruce*.”

“No real names, Robin.”

“No one can hear me!”

“…I didn’t kidnap him.”

“What his name?”

“Timothy Drake.”

“FROM DRAKE INDUSTRIES?”

And Tim wakes up, rubbing his eyes. He looks exhausted and way too skinny, and all of a sudden, Jason understands why Dick has cooed at him the first night Bruce brought him home.

“Um…hi.”

“B, we’re keeping him.”

Jason doesn’t need to see Bruce’s face to know he’s smiling.

—

Damian just…appears. Bruce suddenly understands his parents’ reactions to his first appearance because nearly the same exact thing happens. Bruce wakes up from a nap. He doesn’t need to sleep very often, something Tim finds incredibly annoying, declaring it to be *unfair*. He wakes up, and curled against his chest is…a boy. Who looks a *lot* like him.

“Uh.”

The child wakes up, blinks at him w striking green eyes.

“Hello Father.”

What the fuck.

Dick slams his way into Bruce’s office, followed by Jason and Tim, who are bickering with each other.

“DAAAAAAAD, THEY WON’T SHU- oh. Steal another kid?”

“…he just appeared.”

“That’s the excuse you used for Jason.”

“No. Literally. I fell asleep. No kid. Woke up. Kid.”

“My name is Damian.”

“That’s no fair. You came pre-named?”

Damian is as odd as Bruce. Actually, he’s weirder. And stabby. Bruce finds him *delightful*. He adores him.

—

Dick is Nightwing, Jason is Red Hood (no death, he just thought it was a cool name), Tim is Red Robin, and Damian’s Robin.

Bruce is Batman. Despite being in his late 30s, he still looks like he’s in his mid 20s.

—

Batman stands in front of a bank robber who’s going on about their evil bank robbing plans. Nightwing pops his head out from beneath Batman’s cape.

“Can you get to the point?”

Red Hood pops out next.

“I’m getting bored.”

Red Robin follows.

“This is sad.”

Damian.

“Scum.”

Batman sighs.

“Why are all of you here?”

“Missed you.”

They all chime in.

The robber.

“How…how the *fuck-?*”

“Language. There are kids around.”

“B, I’m 23.”

“Says the boy taking a nap in my cape. And I was talking about Red Robin and Robin.”

“…’s comfy.”

“I’m eighteen???”

“F- Batman! I am not a child!”

There’s some shuffling sounds, no doubt Red Hood moving over to ruffle Robin’s hair.

“Whatever you say, Tiny Demon.”

And then Red Hood shrieks.

“No stabbing your brothers, Robin.”

“He called me small!”

“…you are.”

“This is insulting, F- Batman. I will grow to be as big as you. No. *Bigger*.”

The robber watches in confusion, mild amusement, and horror.

Batman sighs.

“We’ll talk about this later. Now, you were saying? Blowing up the bank, terrorizing the people.” Batman yawns. “Anything else?”

“Just take me to Arkham. I think I’m insane.”

Short DPXDC Prompts #748

Hanahaki AU, Jason’s flowers are Blood Blossoms. No one knows why his affliction hurts him more than the average diseased person.

a lot of females always say they hate her because jane reminds them of themselves: don’t hate yourself for these traits! they’re perfectly okay, and things are hard sometimes. it’s hard to be in love with someone who barely notices you, or it’s hard to have your family manipulate you. but these things are okay to have experienced and tried to ignore to protect yourself—just like janey did!

these things don’t make jane weak! she’s still a strong person who is funny, hot-tempered and starting to refuse to take any more bullshit. she’s just a human: with a rad taste in television!

collection of posts for a very specific dynamic

this reminded me of Hot Fuzz but Gotham Version.

At least Jim Gordon and Bruce Wayne won't let him be reassigned again. If Bats looked into him, they'd probably get a whiplash. This is perhaps a more successful Dick Grayson. Feral but had quips and jokes,check. Kid hero, check. Police work, check. Actually cleaned up the police force.... Dick probably could just show up and burst through the door and just hug Danny. Practically begging as he asks how, to teach him or something how to clean up Bludhaven police force... He tried but can't.

I'd assume his main nemesis in this case is the Court of Owls. I imagine, rather than being docile in his presence, Talons go feral, rabin and cannibalistic. Like, they never had enough ectoplasm and there's a walking pure source right there. Danny also has a team to protect and can't be too reckless fighting Talons, he has to defend them as well.

GOTHAM'S SWAT TEAM

Inspired by this post

For the longest time, the kids of Amity Park always thought that the police is a fictional job. Like, sure. They have a sheriff but it's like saying because there are knights there must also be wizards.

Well, there were real wizards. Danny accidentally encounters some of them while going around the Ghost Zone. Not like Freakshow type of wizard. A real wizard. The type that spends their day in their room reading and experimenting.

So that beg the question, is the police real? And Danny goes out on a hunt for a police ghost. And it isn't even that hard. Asking around the ghosts that are once human, Danny easily finds legit police officers and asks them questions.

That discovery blows his mind. Collecting enough evidence, Danny shares his finding with his friends. Everyone brushes him off saying he is faking it and is just trying to gain attention, even Wes doesn't believe him and he is supposed to be the crazy one.

It is until Mr. Lancer himself confirms that police officers are real that they realize Danny wasn't lying. After that, his focus immediately changed. From becoming an astronaut to becoming a police officer. And surprisingly, it is a lot easier to be a police officer than to be an astronaut.

Him being a "meta" also doesn't pose any problem as a new program from being pushed by the FBI. Danny is pretty sure the police and FBI don't get along that well but it's not his problem.

Danny is very good at his job. Almost all of his cases get solved or at least reached a very reasonable conclusion. No matter what job he gets assigned to, he easily solves them. Investigation, car chase, emergency. Literally anything.

But there is one single flaw about Danny. He hates politics. Like he would rather spend his summer with Vlad than take or give bribes. That makes it hard for him to rise in ranks and gain a higher position. Not like Danny is really gunning for it anyway.

But that also doesn't last long, Danny finds out about corruption in his police department and reports it immediately. Surprisingly, the head department himself is involved in the corruption. The head department tries to send people to assassinate him but Danny is Danny. He takes down all the assassins and manages to make them confess to their crime.

With them being caught, the head department also gets captured. But still, it is politics, so Danny is transferred away in the name of promotion.

And that is how he officially gets the position as the captain of the Swat team at Gotham. The first time he gets deployed is to stop a gang fight between someone named Two face and Black Mask.

That night, the Gothamites swear that the one in the SWAT suit is not a human. He rushes through the gun fires and avoids each bullet like they are some snowballs someone throws. 15 minutes. That is what some of the goons say. That is the amount of time for the SWAT team to take them down.

Their efficiency rivals even the bats. Except for the death that is caused by the earlier shootout, no one dies after the SWAT team arrives. Black Mask and Two Face are captured that night and for the first time, the police captures the rogues without any of the bats help.

The news goes around fast and soon almost everyone knows that there is a new SWAT team captain. For the first time, the reputation of the police department rose. But for GCPD, it is the busiest and most scary month for them.

All the police officers at GCPD agreed to one thing. If you catch the attention of the SWAT team, get ready to go to jail. So far, no one has managed to escape his sight except those that are truly clean. One after another, police officers get captured and replaced. At some point, there are even some rich people that are captured.

Commissioner Gordon stares at the list of police officers at GCPD. He is stunned since he doesn't even know how the captain of the SWAT team does it. Almost all the police here are the clean ones, while the rest are people with non major problems like lazy or incompetent. Gordon looks at the name of the SWAT team and stares at the name of the Captain.

Daniel James Fenton

A normal name for an extraordinary young man. Looking at his past records shows a young man with excellent work ethics with impressive capabilities. If Gordon is to retire one day, he hopes that Danny will take his place.

Suddenly, an alarm goes off. There is a breakout at Arkham. Just as he is about to order his team to move, the SWAT team van rushes out of the building with an impressive feat.

Danny is really having the time of his life. His core that is screaming for him to protect people has been nourishing in Gotham. From him removing the corrupt police officers, all the way to him taking down gangs. All of it is helping him. It does really help that he can speak to ghosts and be ghosts himself.

As Danny prepares himself for the imminent chase that is about to happen, a ring sounds from his phone. Picking up the call, a loud noise goes out.

Ellie: Daddy, the news says that there is a breakout at Arkham. Is it true?

Danny: Yes, honey. That's why I need you to stay home okay. You remember what you need to do if you are in danger right?

Ellie: Yes! Push the big red button. And the green one if super dangerous.

Danny: Good. Stay home until I finish my job okay?

Ellie: Okay!

Putting down his phone, Danny checks his gear one more time.

Jamal: Your daughter, cap?

Danny: Yeah. She has been trying to get me to bring him to work. You know the GCPD isn't a place I should bring a child to.

Jamal: Oh, for sure. If I had a child, I wouldn't even let them near there.

George: Pft, you don't even have a girlfriend. How can you have a child?

Jamal: Oi! Don't underestimate me. I can easily have a girlfriend if I want to.

Jennifer: Yeah, right. I'd give you 100 bucks if you can have a girlfriend by the end of the year.

Jamal: Aight, bet.

Hans: Cap, I get a report that Joker is nearby. Do we go after him?

Danny: Why do you even need to ask? Let's go bust some clown's ass.

Hans: Roger that.

Hans that is driving, makes a wild turn to the left into a smaller road. Hans is their best driver and knows Gotham roads like the back of his palm. Danny finds him when he busts out a robbery group and had a chase scene with him.

If not for the fact that Danny can fly faster than a car, he wouldn't have been able to catch Hans that night. After pulling some strings, Danny manages to convince Hans to join his SWAT team as the driver.

As the van flies through the road of Gotham, they finally see a white car with a green wig and red nose on the front.

Hans: Cap, we got Joker in our view.

Danny: Release a warning.

Hans taps a few buttons and a microphone falls down from the van ceiling.

Hans: To the car in front. You are ordered to stop right this instant.

Hans put away the microphone fully expecting the car not stopping. And true to his expectation, all he receives is loud laughter and a few gunshots.

Danny: Jamal, shoot them.

Jamal: Roger that.

Kicking open the backdoor, Jamal releases his drones into the sky. The drones fly and turn and suddenly, a barrel comes out of each drone.

Jamal: I got the visual. Firing in 3..2...1.

Ratatatatatatatata

Bullets fly through the sky towards Joker's car as the driver tries to avoid the bullets. Unfortunately, this is not a movie and soon the car crashes to the side as all four of its tires have exploded.

Hans stops the car by the side of the car crash and Danny and his team rushes out. Taking the Joker and his gang out of the smoking car, Danny makes a few calls and a few police cars arrive at the scene.

Danny strips all of Joker's and the gang's equipment down to their underpants and sends them away. Getting back inside the van, Hans continues driving towards the next rouge that has been sighted.

Danny: Strap up boys. It will be a long night.

Prompt 215

Danny has found himself as a cat. And there’s good news and bad news about it. The good news is that he’s a magical cat or something similar, seeing as he has two tails and can go Very Big if he wants to. Bad news? He’s pretty sure they’re in a different dimension now. 

Cute news, both Ellie and Jordan are itty bitty kittens and utterly adorable, he would murder for them. They’re so tiny! Like, yeah they got physically de-aged before all this so they could properly pass as his kids- along with part of Dan’s parole- but this? He could hold them in his hands if he still had them! 

Alright! First things first, find a shelter and avoid the destroyed buildings along with whatever destroyed them in the first place. Then he could figure out if this is an accident or some sort of forced vacation. But shelter first. 

DP x DC Prompt.

Deadserious

.

>Danny had a problem. He thought he handled it well. He couldn't tell his civillian boyfriend of his half-dead status.

He definitely couldn't let him find out by being summoned by some culty wannabes who wanted to rule the world.

Easy solution: Volunteer to be the sacrifice, turn his eyes green, and act like a Royal prick and powerful being. Get rescued by one of Gothams 50 vigilantes. And claim no memory.

Boom, secret identity underwraps.

He didn't expect everyone to treat him so fragile after.

>

Damian also had a problem. That problem, being his civilian boyfriend, was obviously possessed by a spirit of the ghastly ghost king and was utterly clueless about it.

And it was all his fault.

Danny Fenton was the next June Moore/ Enchantress. Except he was hosting one of the most powerful beings in the universe.

And that lovable idiot had no damn idea about it.

And we are circulating this.

Everywhere.

Now.

Two year later and this fic still has me by the balls 😔 and two years later Bats is still fucking with the JL

Here's the series by i_go_by_faith / @pinkhamsterarts

Baby Clark and Baby Bruce fic

Part 1

Part 2: hatchlings

Part 3: Let Bats fuck up Hal

Danny’s ghost form was harder to hold together the farther away he was from the ghost portal. A solution found by Danny & Tucker was to create a robot body that Danny could possess that stabilized his form. The ectoplasm molding itself into the machine and possession causing Danny to become one with the tech, letting him not only use his ghost powers but also unique weaponry and gadgets built into his robot body.

An added bonus is that no one thinks he’s a ghost or even a human.