Out Of Touch

shoutout to soldier tf2

I just think he’s neat :)

"A while ago, the headmage warned me not to keep too many gargoyles because the floors might cave in... But in my opinion, the actual problem here is the durability of the floors. I hardly think I deserve to be reproached."

"There were a lot of gargoyles around the campus that needed repairing. It was a lot of work to carry each of those back to my (club?)room to do repair work on them but... He told me he didn't even ask me to do that. What a rude man."

????????? 😭😭😭 Even with such a bratty nonsense attitude he's so cute?! And isn't their interaction kinda like a dad telling off his son?!

So I've had this random idea in my head for a few days

The Prefect gets asked online what it's like being friends with Malleus, and they're like "he's not really all that intimidating once you get to know him, he just wants to be invited to stuff"

Someone else, seeing this post, makes a separate post saying "man i cant wait to invite briar valley prince malleus draconia to my 5 year old nieces birthday party" as a joke

And then Malleus himself replies "That sounds delightful! Please direct message me the details of this party so I may plan accordingly :)" and they're like "HELLO????"

And you bet your ass Malleus actually shows up to the party because are you really gonna uninvite Malleus fucking Draconia. The niece probably doesn't even know who he is, she just thinks "woagh cool tall man!!"

So anyways please imagine Malleus just vibing at a 5 year old's birthday party thank you goodbye

not funny didnt laugh

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

Isn't it nice being able to relate to your friends?

The thing is, Pavitr is in the Spider Society, he knows about canon events. And still when he's on that bridge and watching the rubble fall, he says "I can do both," and he tries to save Inspector Singh, even knowing he's Supposed to die. Because that's what being Spider-Man is about, trying to save everyone, even when when it seems impossible

it’s not fucking tinnitus idiot that’s my guardian angel speaking to me

Theory: Papyrus's battle body

So, everyone should know about 'Papyrus's battle body', it's something I've been pointing aggressively at for years to point out that his brother is a liar-

Contradicting what he says, during the hang out, Papyrus specifies that he wears his special clothes underneath his 'REGULAR CLOTHES'.

Then the interview came out and it turns out I was wrong.. Papyrus's battle body is indeed....

...

....HANG ON A SECOND.

What the interview confirms is that Papyrus does indeed have a battle body, but what's also been confirmed is that it's not his clothes. But there's also an important question to factor in: Does what his brother say, have any merit? Was this 'battle body' made a few weeks ago for a party?

I've mentioned this before but it's very important for this theory, there's a post on the Undertale tumblr that relates to this:

"not everyone is as tough as my brother." - immediately starts talking about Shyren for some reason. "they say those without blame should cast the first stone." (Is this implying something happened to Papyrus that someone could be blamed for?)

Anyway, Shyren's form in battle is made of 2 different monsters, the body is 'Shyren's agent'.

Papyrus loses his head when killed, and his body dusts, then his head. They both have different dust patterns.

"Papyrus's body and head have different dust patterns because it's his battle body but not his battle head" - @fluo-skeletons

If I can make an assumption from the Undertale changelog, dust patterns are changed for each individual monster. There was some extensive research done before I found this, including checking dust pattern related to monster size, HP, EXP, G, and none of them seemed to line up.. Was this patch note intentional for these connections to be made?

(Image cropped and modified for ease of reading, this is on the fandom wiki)

What I'm saying is that Papyrus's entire body was made, and he didn't always look how we see him in the game. But this leads to one of the biggest mysteries of Papyrus, what or who is he?

There's not a character that's canonically been shattered to pieces that speaks just like he does, there is never any implication he can read wingdings either so ignore that

He can walk/run through the air, he acknowledges things that implies he knows he's in a game, and how games themselves function. He's implied the ability to use a save file, he can use blasters, his bedroom is silent. It's implied he's been inside the true lab, or at least Alphys's lab. He's implied that he can see from your perspective (NOT FRISK'S, YOURS.), the annoying dog annoys him the most, he can change game UI and take over the whole screen.

Who else has done that?