Uniquepeachpersonashoe - Pine

people these days are too busying being employed or going to school to prioritize what really matters in life: watching a goth girl repeatedly electrocute cole sprouse with a tanning bed

i am staring respectfully…

spencer reid who still reads the morning paper. spencer reid who asks you to move in since you’ve practically already stolen half his closet, fridge, and bed. spencer reid who reads to you while you lay your head in his lap. spencer reid who brings you flowers or other goodies any time he comes home late from a case. spencer reid who learns how to make your favorite morning drink despite only drinking black coffee himself. spencer reid who buys fridge magnets from all the big cities he visits on the job. spencer reid who bottles up his emotions after hard cases, only to come home and unravel in your arms. spencer reid who spends all day in bed with you after hard cases, just ordering takeout and binging nonsense television. spencer reid who gives the best hugs, all soft and warm like the three cardigans you stole from him.

Satan probably:

*clicks pen*

You get flies

You get an ugly face because I don’t like you

You get a rotten face because you’re a prick and if you kept your mouth shut in Heaven I wouldn’t now have to do big baddie paperwork and instead I’d still be creating cute ass stars, fucking hell

Eh who’s next

Oh

Ohhh

You get a cute lil snake on your face and you can move it wherever you want my little pretty starmaker…

*God calls*: Satan, are you taking the piss?

Satan: What?

God: You can’t make everyone ugly and give him a cute tattoo like he’s your favourite!

Satan: But he is my favourite :)

God: You’re suppose to be evil!!!

Satan: What if I give him snake eyes. See. Scary.

God: Are you going to blind him from seeing the stars?

Satan: Woah! Dude, you want my job?

God: *ends the conversation*

Satan: *adds a note: and perfect vision*

MY WIFE 💍 and i mean it wholeheartedly

they’re ✨ sorry ✨

i think if lisa asked the creature if he’d still love her if she was a worm he’d do that cat hacking up a hairball move again and give her an actual worm and she’d think it was the most romantic thing ever

slut