Slowly Approaching Bear

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

No-! Please continue I am listening

In the 2016 Disney animated movie Zootopia, fictional pop star Gazelle (voiced by Shakira) sings the song Try Everything. In this song, Gazelle speaks a few phrases of Spanish. This means that different languages, such as Spanish, exist within the Zootopia universe, meaning that at some point, there must have been a Mexican War for Independence.

Furthermore, the character, Finnick the fox listens to French rap while in the van. This means that France also exists within the Zootopia universe. So therefore, there must have been a Zootopian French Revolution, June Rebellion, etc, and if such a thing exists, so does the classic book and hit musical, Les Miserables, meaning there must be a Zootopian Broadway and therefore a Zootopian New York City. Also meaning there has to have been a Zootopian American Revolution and so on, in this essay, I will-

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry

Happy 22nd Birthday, Zendaya Coleman! 

September 1st, 1996

55 Badass Quotes Challenge

These are some of the most memorable, badass quotes ever said (or at least they sound very cool and amusing depending on the situation), either from books, movies, TV shows and whatnot. 1. “At my signal, unleash hell!” – Maximus, Gladiator 2. “Time to nut up, or shut up.” – Tallahassee, Zombieland 3. “Remember when I said I would kill you last? …I lied.” – Matrix, Commando 4. “Never take your eyes off of your opponent…even when you bow.” – Bruce Lee, Enter the Dragon 5. “I’ll kill you with my teacup.” – Riddick, The Chronicles of Riddick 6. “Shut up, fool!” – Mr. T, World of Warcraft Advert 7. “What do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little hell?” – Dean Winchester, Supernatural 8. “You seem somewhat familiar; have I threatened you before?” – Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean  9. “Word of advice? Next time, take the trigger finger.” – Simon, Flash Forward 10. “You’re making me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.” – Hulk, Incredible Hulk 11. “Why so serious?” – The Joker, The Dark Knight 12. “That’s classified. If I tell you I’ll have to kill you.” – Lieutenant Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, Top Gun 13. “If it bleeds, we can kill it.” – Dutch, Predator 14. “Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you’ve lost. They belong to me now.” – The Bride, Kill Bill: Vol. 1 15. “I took the liberty of bullshitting you.” – Elwood Blues, The Blues Brothers 16. “This…is…Sparta!” – King Leonidas, 300 17. “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” – Michael Corleone, The Godfather: Part III 18. “I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory.” – Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore, Apocalypse Now 19. “Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can’t savor all the… little emotions. In… you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?“ – The Joker, The Dark Knight 20. ”Off with your head!“ – Alice, Alice In Wonderland 21. ”Death is only the beginning.“ – Imhotep, The Mummy 22. ”We all go a little mad sometimes.“ – Norman Bates, Psycho 23. ”Go ahead make my day.“ – Harry Callahan, Sudden Impact 24. ”May the force be with you.“ – Hans Solo, Star Wars 25. “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.” – Michael Corleone, The Godfather 26. ”The night is darkest before the dawn, and trust me, the dawn is coming.“ – Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight 27. ”You shall not pass!“ – Gandalf the Grey, The Lord of the Rings 28. “I’m from the United States of Kiss My Ass.” – Mike, House of Games 29. ”Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You’re a plague and we are the cure.“ – Agent Smith, The Matrix 30. ”You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.“ – Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight 31. "I know what you’re thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?“ – Harry Callahan, Dirty Harry 32. “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.” – Margo Channing, All About Eve 33. ”I pity the fool.“ – Mr. T, Rocky III 35. ”Back off, man. I’m a scientist.” – Peter Venkmen, Ghostbusters 36. “Shaken, not stirred.” – James Bond, Goldfinger 37. “Don’t you threaten me with a dead fish!”– Withnail, Withnail and I 38. “I’m coming to get you!” – Rambo, Rambo: Fist Blood Part II 39. “I shall call him Squishy. And he shall be mine. And he shall be MY Squishy.” – Dory, Finding Nemo 40. “We’ll tear your soul apart!” – Pinhead, Hellraiser 41. “You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.” – Mr. White, Reservoir Dogs 42. “Swallow this!” – Ash, Evil Dead 2 43. “They will say that I have shed innocent blood. What’s blood for, if not for shedding?” – Candyman, Candyman 44. “What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn’t Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?” – Drill Sergeant Hartman, Full Metal Jacket 45. “What’s my name?!” – John Shaft, Shaft 46. “Why would I try and cheat you out of anything, now? I need you to get the piece so I can steal it from you later.” – Lara Croft, Tomb Raider 47. ”I hate pathetic people. I’ll have to kill you.“ – Sanjuro Kuwabatake, Yojimbo 48. ”None of you understand. I’m not locked up in here with you. You’re locked up in here with me.“ – Rorschach, Watchmen 49. ”I’ll be back.“ – Terminator, The Terminator 50. ”Simon says, Die.“ – Simon Phoenix, Demolition Man 51. ”If you come back in here, I am gonna hit you with so many rights you are going to beg for a left.“ – Matt Hunter, Invasion U.S.A. 52. “I don’t know. I’m making this up as I go.” – Indiana Jones, "Indiana Jones” 53. “Be afraid…be very afraid.” – Ronnie, The Fly 54. “Congratulations. You are still alive. Most people are so ungrateful to be alive. But not you. Not anymore.” – John, Saw 55. “Give my regards to your boss. Tell him he’s next.” – Spawn, Spawn You have free reign with this! You can make it a drabble (100-500 words) booklet, a ficlet (500-1000 words) or even a one-shot (1000 words or more) and have any character saying it. Be it a OC (Original Character), Reader-insert, Self-insert or even canon characters. 

This can be any genre you want and you don’t need to stick with one fandom either. You also don’t need to follow the order this is in.

Note: Be sure to mention in the summary or author’s note that you’ve accepted Ghostflowerdream’s 55 Badass Quotes Challenge. If you like this writing challenge, you may also like the 100 Quotes Writing Challenge.

My family is not very religious most of the time.  We pray at Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving dinners, and my mom’s entire side of the family excluding her parents and siblings is hardcore religious so whenever we do anything with them it’s kind of religious.

But the point is, most of the time we aren’t, but every year at Christmas time, a church in the next town over puts on a Bethlehem and it’s kind of a tradition to go.  They go all out.  The building is massive, and they’ve got it all decked out.  There’s animals and stalls and everyone is in costume and in character.  When you get there, they give you some pennies and you can go and barter for cool little trinkets, and there’s other more expensive things you can buy with your own money.  And they have the best apple cider.  All in all, it’s pretty cool.

But anyway.  We go every year, bundled up in hats and scarves and mittens, and have a good time.  We’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember, and my mom talks about going when she was a kid.

I’m going to mention again that everyone is massively in character, especially the really super hardcore religious adults.  Because this is an important fact.

Every year since I was about thirteen or so, there’s been this one lady who worked at a stall selling ponchos (I have, like, three.  They’re really cool).  She was probably there before that, but I was thirteen when she started trying to barter for me to marry her son, who was also about thirteen.

“What a pretty little thing.  I think you’d make a very good wife for my son.  These are your parents?  I’ll give you six goats for your daughter’s marriage to my son.”

Her son, meanwhile, is in the “shop” behind her looking absolutely mortified and like he’d rather be anywhere else than there, and I’m pretty sure I probably looked just as embarrassed.

My parents gave her some sort of excuse, like it wasn’t enough goats or they weren’t ready to marry me off yet or something, and we moved on.

The next year we’re back again, and come up near to the same stall.

“Ah!  You’re back again!  Have you married your daughter off yet?  I can up my offer to nine goats and three chickens for your daughter to marry my son.”

Somehow she remembered the exact people she’d tried to buy their daughter off of for an entire year?  So my parents are refusing her offers again and me and the son are trading embarrassed looks and we go on our way.

And then it happens again.  And again.  And again.  Each and every one of the last six years this lady has tried to buy me in goats to be her son’s wife. 

 A couple years ago when we were waiting in line to get inside my mom jokingly said that they should accept this year and see what she’d do and I completely refused because it was mortifying enough as it was.

One year we brought my friend with us and we’re waiting outside and my sister was like “Are you gonna sell Kee this year?” and my dad was like “Maybe if there’s enough goats” and my friend was confused as heck and I was like “This lady tries to buy me to marry her son every year.  I told you that” and she’s like “Yeah but I didn’t think this was a thing that actually happened” and she was still skeptical and by the time my parents had finished refusing the lady’s offer, she’s killing herself laughing and then spent the next few months telling me I couldn’t look at guys because I already had a fiancée.

Anyway, it happened again this Christmas and the son has somehow gotten almost ridiculously attractive since last year.  The speech this year had something to do with how I was far too old to not have a husband yet, and the son and I just rolled our eyes at each other as his mom tried to barter with my parents for me.

This year’s offer was twenty six goats and nine chickens.  My sister looked up how much goats are worth, and was mad our parents didn’t sell me so she could have sold the goats and gotten $2000-$8000 for them.  My dad says they’re waiting out on an offer of a camel.  My brother thinks they should have it more than once a year so he can get more apple cider.

Now I’m back at uni, and in my first psych class of the semester the guy sitting beside me looked really familiar.  

As in his-mom-tries-to-buy-me-with-goats-every-Christmas familiar.

That kind of familiar.

We introduced ourselves before class started and I sat there for a couple minutes readying to make a total fool of myself in case I was wrong before turning to him again.

“This is going to sound really weird if you aren’t who I think you are, but by any chance does your mom try to buy you a wife with goats every Christmas?”

His friend gives me a weird look as he walks past me to sit on the other side of him, but he’s definitely putting the pieces together.

“That’s you?  Bethlehem in [city name], right?  God, my mom is so mortifying.”

And we both kinda laugh and meanwhile his friend is giving us both weird looks now because apparently he didn’t know that his friend’s mom was trying to buy him a wife using livestock.

So he turns to his friend and is like

“Oh, I forgot to introduce you.  Danny, this is my fiancée, Kee.”

And I kinda rolled my eyes and was like

“I’m not actually your fiancée.  Your mom hasn’t offered my parents enough goats yet.  But apparently my dad will sell me for a camel.”

And he laughed and shook his head like

“I am not telling my mom that.  I don’t want to see what she has planned for if your parents ever accept.”

So yeah.  His friend was really confused by that point and we explained it to him and it turns out he’s pretty cool and we’re Facebook friends now and hang out in psych classes.  Apparently his mom only ever tries to buy me for him and she and my mom had gone to the same church growing up which is why she can always pick us out.

So yeah.  That’s the story of how some lady tries to use goats to buy me to be her ridiculously attractive son’s wife every Christmas, and how he’s in my class and we’re friends now.

Agatha asking all the questions I have been asking since Age of Ultron.

Jim: You can’t expect me to stab somebody on an empty stomach.

Mycroft: I’d prefer you didn’t stab anyone at all.

gen z vernacular really is just a mashup of john mulaney quotes vines and gay jokes

Whoever reblogs this will get a drawing based on their icon

I’ve hit an art block I need inspiration