For My Friend ❤️ You’ve Written Such A Beautiful Story.

In another life

(Closeups under the cut)

Say it, loser

I've read/listened to CO more times than I can count, and I think why I have (when I typically don't ever consume one type of media like this) is because I always come out knowing/understanding something new.

Obviously, I'm here for Baz and Simon and the rest of the gang. But I remember my second time reading, I grasped more the actual tragedy of the story. Particularly with the adults story. They aren't the main focus, but there's so much there that you can infer. I think what really hit me was the lost friendship between Lucy and Penny's mom. The scene were they last saw each other doesn't seem that important, but personally I see it as a prime example of how a manipulative partner can influence your other relationships and consequently add distance to them. Lucy had people who truly cares for her. And though maybe the Mage cared for her in his own way, he used her. I couldn't help but morn the life her and Simon could have had. And writing about it now, I believe the second time reading I truly morned for the characters. For Lucy, for Simon, for Ebb, for Baz, etc—they have been and go through so much but you wish they don't because they deserve so much more. But that's life. Tragedy where it's not fair and in the end you just have to carry on.

And now more recently I got in the mood to relisten to the audiobook. This time around, having read WS and many tumblr treads about the series, I noticed more about Simon. How the Mage treated him, how uncomfortable he is with physical contact, how he thinks people view him. But honestly I think this time around, I just realized how sad Simon is. He doesn't really act it, seeing how that's how he lives life. He doesn't think about the past or the future—he more or less always lives in the current. But we know he dreamed of having parents. The best he had was the Mage and Ebb. Physical contact isn't his thing because he never had it. Only kissed on the lips, never a parental or familiar kiss on the forehead or whatnot as a way to show a sign of care and affection. Always sent off to care homes in the summer. A place he never felt safe in where he always had to have his guard up. And the only time he was wanted somewhere was to fulfill a position in their society. It's no wonder Simon is at a loss in his life, let alone his relationship. I know it's been said, but he's no longer the choose one, and the closest thing he had to a father (is his father but he doesn't know that) told him that was his worth. And URG, there's just so much to say about him. Like how he had trouble speaking as a child and he himself recognized "it was easier to take than to ask." (Which is, admittedly, not a good quote, Simon.) He never learned to communicate, so his actions are the closest to speaking his truth. But now he doesn't know how to communicate what he feels and probably doesn't realize how good it can be to figure stuff out together rather than always be in your head. And don't get me started with WS and the ending. I'm glad he's starting to make goals and try to get in a better place, but he's still has a ways to go. So in conclusion: Simon needs a fucking hug, a therapist, and I need to cry.

But the real conclusion is that Carry On has so much to give. I didn't even scratch the surface. But it's what makes it one of my favourite book and how I'm literally dying for the third book.

Now if you'll excuse me, I will be in a 7 monthish comma until AWTWB is out.

Evil creature Ianthe Tridentarius 🤲

lol guess who's having a hot girl summer

Brb, I need to reread about a chaotically mouthy runaway with the survival instincts of a literal goldfish that finds his high-key disfunctional, yet loyal and trusting, family through a sport he has more love and dedication for than, like, his own life.

Did I just listen to Kaleidotrope for the first time yesterday?

Yes.

And am I now entirely invested in this world and these dorks so much so I’m quite literally on my third listen?

Admittedly, yes.

(anyway, bless them and the podcast. I can only hope we get a season 2 one day, or get more projects from the creators.)

whoa look who just appeared in my hades 2 playthrough... crazy

consequences of tlt rereading