I Love The Size Of Birds

"titties" -someone wise

so my boss’s wife always makes way to much food for him for dinner to where he can’t always eat his lunch the next day at work. as a consequence, he gives me and my other coworker the peeled, and cut up apples she prepares for him.

he’s been lying to her for two years about eating the apples. we have to always return the containers the same day to keep up the lie. we’ve received hundreds of dollars worth of apples and labor.

detroit become human endings bro.

i’m a completionist and this game is going to destroy me it’s going to take me FOREVER to 100%.

also i fucked up and connor died. oops.

girls.

Red Bed

never beating these caretaker allegations

the person i married is the same person i met when i was 5 years old in kindergarten.

btw dating sucks as a concept.

it’s for the drip its for the drip it’s for the-

HAND TATTOO OUCHIE OUCH.

i think it’s good to have a friend who gets mad at you and takes you aside to call you out when you do something harmful.

psa

the car horn is to attract somebody's attention to make them aware of the road, or to alert of an emergency. it is not to vent out your frustration to the car in front of you for 30 seconds at 3 am on the road in my neighborhood