Clocked

the way jordie haunts the narrative truly haunts me. the way he carried kaz to shore, the way he demands to be remembered. the way he drives kaz's plans and schemes and has woven his way into the platform that kaz brekker has built for himself.

the way jordie has kept kaz afloat for years. but the way he's also kept kaz in the water for years. the way kaz has been kicking and kicking toward the moment of recompense and revenge, his hands never leaving jordie. his kickboard, his lighthouse, the thing keeping him alive and the thing keeping him half in the grave, dragging him down as much as he's guiding him.

the way jordie was once a light for kaz, the way kaz has found light in inej. the way inej is the reason kaz didn't drown in fjerda, the reason to keep swimming, the reason to live. the way jordie was once a brother for kaz, the way kaz has found a brother in jesper. the way jesper is someone for kaz to protect and to forgive, and the way he's more capable of doing so now.

the way jordie is avenged by kaz, but the way that isn't where the story ends. kaz destroying pekka isn't it. it doesn't have to be it anymore. because everything that jordie was to kaz, everything he's clung to, he's found elsewhere. and yes, he still has to learn to take his hands off his brother, but there are reasons to now, there are reasons to climb out of that water. to forgive, to move on, to learn to forget in moments when remembering does nothing but drag him down.

the way jordie is, in so many ways, what holds this story together. the way kaz no longer needing him or his ghost is what sets the story free. is what sets jordie free.

Happy 1 year anniversary to the best show, I miss you every day

You can be talking to someone and she'll be like, "Oh I made a silly mistake. Women don't deserve voting rights teehee." And you'll be like, "What." And she'll be like, "Oh I'm sorry! That must sound so bad out of context. No it's this Tiktok meme where, if you're a girl and you do something dumb, you say 'Women don't deserve voting rights teehee.'"

And you'll be like, "That sounds bad." And she'll be like, "No no. It's totally not that bad. It's just a meme. Men say it too. Like if a man does something silly he'll be like, 'I am like those women who do not deserve to vote.'" And you'll be like, "Does that make it better?" And she'll be like, "Well there was one guy who tried to make 'Men shouldn't vote' a popular meme. But it never caught on and also he got yelled at a lot."

And then you drop it there because like, you're harshing the vibe.

the inherent homoeroticism of "no one gets to kill you but me"

Every single time I think of Edwin’s confession at the top of the staircase, I get so emotional because of the way Edwin sounds. I’ve never heard a line delivered as perfectly as his “Charles I’m in love with you.” It makes me ache and I feel violently ill every single time I hear it. For so many reasons. He sounds afraid, ashamed, heartbroken, and at the same time it sounds like it’s something that he’s always known despite just realizing it. It breaks my heart and makes me cry. I love Edwin.

“what if kids identify with something and it ends up just being a phase-?” good. stop teaching and expecting kids (and adults honestly) to formulate permanent traits and ideas of themselves. everything in life is a phase. that doesn’t make it any less legitimate while you experience it. let people explore themselves and know it’s okay if what you think about yourself changes.

Words cannot express how excited we are to finally bring you, The Case of What Came After: A DBDA Zine!

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for your continued support and encouragement. We hope that you love this project just as much as we loved making it!

Here's our zine! Enjoy!🔍💖

(You can find the link to download in our bio as well!)

Happy 1 year anniversary!

crowley in a skirt

I guess its technically a dress, but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 🤫

yep I'm gonna start crying now

Dear Niko,

Are you doing well? Have you gotten used to life at school? How is the food in America? (I’ve heard it’s not very tasty.) Right now I was thinking  “It’d be so nice if I received a reply from Niko…” so I decided to write this letter. The person who always loves you deeply is not just some person, but me, your mother. Though I think that you can’t imagine that anymore.

Over here, the cherry blossoms are starting to fall from their trees. When I see this, I think about how the dry and chilly season is here again and get sad. You already know this, but - - -