Neil “i’m Fine” Josten Telling Wymack After Coming Back From Evermore That No, No, He’s Not

i just finished reading ‘scared to live (but I’m scared to die)’ by Major_816, so now I’ve got raven Neil ticking at the back of my brain 24/7

you said i could send more asks (and i just thought of this so) what do you think of the extra content? ive seen a lot of mixed views but everyone mostly disregards it so i was just wondering what parts you liked and what parts you didnt

sorry for two asks in a row but xfjrsfbjgrukgv i’m curious

 yeah, seriously send them whenever! they always make me happy :)

as a general rule, i accept the things that are set pre-canon and most canon-timeline stuff (why andrew’s afraid of heights, that kevin noticed andreil first, renee’s past, etc). the stuff that i don’t love (mostly post-canon), i tend to view as headcanons rather than stuff that would happen in the canon universe. like the no renison, no jerejean, twinyards growing apart - i don’t vibe with those, but i respect that other people might

some of the post-canon stuff that i do like is the cats, robin, how andreil navigates intimacy (besides the no hugging), and andrew sleeping w his back to the wall, among others. i also don’t actually mind the no marriage thing for them, and i’m passive about the no “i love you”s

idk! i’m pretty indifferent about most of it. i was just excited to have more content from the author! i pick and choose what i want to consider canon, and i just disregard the rest :) 

I love imagining Neil and Andrew like 10 years into their relationship. Like when the ‘nothing’ gets real and they deal with what comes after the honeymoon stage. They’re 30 something and like:

Neil: *suggestively stretching in front of andrew* wanna rinse of with me? I’m a little sweaty after my run…

Andrew: *spoon deep into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s*. Give me a minute

Neil: the ice cream will still be there later….

Andrew: so will you…

Neil: are you fucking serious ?

Andrew: *keeps looking between Neil and his pint* I’m thinking!

no but did you notice how easily neil started thinking dan instead of danielle and nicky instead of nicholas when they told him their preferred names,, like say what you will, but i just know for a fact he would absolutely use everyone’s correct pronouns and names with absolutely zero hesitation or issue idc

andrew never liked snow days, because staying home meant he couldn’t escape the house that day. they didn’t happen often, ofc, w him being in cali, but that didn’t make them any less dreaded

when he wakes up one day and sees snow out of his window at palmetto, andrew tenses. classes and practice are cancelled, because it’s south carolina and snow cancels everything. andrew stays in bed that day, back against the wall, body tense, eyes alert

neil doesn’t mind. he makes some hot chocolate for andrew and places it within his reach without getting too close. he grabs warm clothes for andrew to change into, and when the offer goes ignored, neil grabs blankets from the living room and tosses them to andrew, who stares at neil for a moment before bundling them around his slightly shivering body

neil offers andrew memories. watching movies with his mom in front of the fire. snowmen and steaming showers when the cold soaked into his bones. thick socks and long scarves. warm mittens and chai tea with a cinnamon stick, his favourite winter treat growing up

andrew listens. the tension in his body slowly eases throughout the day, but his back never leaves the wall and his eyes remain wary. he doesn’t tell neil why he hates the snow, and neil doesn’t ask for that truth. neil just stays in the room, watching games with headphones or doing homework or taking a nap

andrew doesn’t say anything. it doesn’t bother neil

the next day is the weekend, and most of the snow has melted. when neil enters the dorm kitchen in the morning, andrew is already there

and waiting for neil on the counter is a mug of hot chai tea with a cinnamon stick

neil josten’s favourite place to sit is the floor. i will die on this hill

Tag game

tagged by: allfortheandreil

rules: tag 9 people you’d like to catch up with or know more about

Favourite colour: pale purple

Currently reading: unravel the dusk

Last song: Like the Dawn - The Oh Hellos

Last movie: Twilight (don’t @ me that movie is a vibe)

Last series completed (book): A Darker Shade of Magic by V. E. Schwab :)

Tea or coffee: tea 100%

Currently working on: uhh well i should be working on my jerejean fic bc i haven’t updated in ages HAHAH but currently i’m doing absolutely nothing

Tagging: @unholy-goddess @allforthegayys @cowpants147 @karmiky @levi-ackerham @play-exy-be-sexy @studiesshow-hoesmad @thisisnotourlasthunt @verdiris (if you lovelies want to) and anyone else that wants to!

Tag game

rules: tag nine people you’d like to catch up with or get to know better

Keep reading

you know what’s painful? before the final match against the ravens when neil says that he can see how much matt loves his mom and that “sometimes he was still surprised at how blatantly that love was returned” 

like?? 

mary did her best to keep neil alive and they had a complicated relationship but, ultimately, neil loved her

this quote hurts though, because neil obviously didn’t really get that love reciprocated - yes, in her own way, mary loved him and tried to keep him safe and as happy as possible given the circumstances, but overall his life on the run was full of pain and fear and his mom added to that

so of course it’s weird for him to see randy love matt so fiercely and so openly, but my heart still aches for him

neil canonically doesn’t like being on higher floors because it makes it hard to escape. neil also canonically spends his nights hanging out on a roof with the boy that everyone calls a monster. this speaks VOLUMES for how much he trusts andrew and how much he’s grown as a person

andrew definitely sets alarms for like 6:13 and 8:19 and it makes kevin So Mad