Trying-to-study07 - Trying-to-study

can’t believe my studygram is gaining friends again after months of inactivity. we’re currently on 2.8k??? that IS HUGE i dont think i’ll ever regret joining this community, this safe space.

instagram: @jowsdesk

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

urban plants

FROM ROOF TO TABLE - ROB STEPHENSON

A photo essay documenting New York City’s Urban Agriculture movement. This project was made possible thanks to the Design Trust for Public Space and their Photo Urbanism Fellowship

cd | What do you do to reset your week? ⬇️

Since I switched to paper planning I basically transfer the weekly sched I made for the class to my planner (I print it since there’s ALOT) and then add personal things I want to do that week.

Other than planning, I clean the apartment to prep for the week bec who knows what storm might come and when I’ll be able to clean again 😭 I also re-stock my fridge (one of my fave things!). Simple chores ground me, keeps me sane and make me feel like my life has some semblance to normalcy. I also spend time with my dog and journal when I could for some weekly reflection.

Of course, these are the things that take little time — things that took years to hone with time management. Most of my “reset” day as a med student are still spent prepping for Monday’s exam, which is pathology. 🥲

We do what we can, right? 😂

I lost my best friend 3 years ago- not lost as in dead but lost as in we only text each other on our birthdays now. Movies and books don't tell you that a friendship dying is like the sinking of a ship, you try to get higher and higher and hold onto the rails and unanswered texts, the captain tries to steer it to safety and salvage pieces of two broken hearts until you're left with memories of what once was. We were friends for a decade and knew each other's diaries by heart, I still remember her phone number and the way she took her coffee. Seeing her in streets is like breathing in a scent you forgot you knew but it immediately takes you back to a summer in '07.

Movies and books also don't tell you that friendships don't just end after one fight or incident, it's like the rusting of a bridge, the slow decay of flesh and bones and secrets. It took weeks, months- until one day I woke up and I realized I hadn't thought of her in a while. And I wrote a poem that day and I titled it 'The dying of a best friend' and I put all my love for her in a tiny box with my half of the matching pendant of a dolphin we had and stored them in a corner of my heart under the heading Grief. Where else can one hide unspent love?

It's been 3 years since I lost my best friend, lost as in I still carry our secrets in a tiny box but we only text each other on our birthdays.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

10.10.2021

instead of studying for my chem midterm, my friend and i went to an exhibition on indigenous arts. on the first floor there was also this cute lil cafe named ‘katita’ where we just had some cookies n tea

[050222] studying under this heartwarming sunlight, what more could someone ask for?

something about the arrangement of these spines is really doing it for me <3

frohe mitternacht (ish) btw! 🌙

there will never be anything that compares to finding new pieces of yourself you didn’t even know you would discover. i think that’s a big part of life i’ve overlooked. not only will i grow up more and more but i will also meet more of myself. that’s terrifying but exciting and something to look forward to. maybe at 25 i’ll realize i love a certain food or at 30 i’ll want to learn to play piano or at 50 i’ll take an interest in scuba diving. i don’t know yet all of who i am but i really want to know more.