Black Pete: GOD You're So Clingy.

Black Pete, standing on the dinner table: This place has gone to HELL!

Stede, to Ed: He does this once a week.

Stede: It's like the bad guys always know where we are!

Lucius: Stede, did you remember to set your Twitter location to private?

Stede:

Lucius: You set it to private, right?

Stede:

Lucius: stede

[Izzy and Lucius reaching for a burger at the same time, their hands touch, their eyes meet]

Lucius: Hey, this is kinda gay-

Izzy: Get the fuck off my McDonald's.

Jim: [sneaking around, trips and falls]

Spanish Jackie: Who's there?!

Jim: Nobody, fuck off!

Izzy, plotting revenge step by step:

1. ?

2. ?

3. ?

4. ?

5. And then they'll all be sorry.

Stede: Oh, the sweet irony of his death. He was designed for this life- yet never meant to endure it.

Ed: What happened?

Stede: i dropped a goldfish cracker in the bathtub

Blackbeard: Hey, Stede-

Stede: [crying softly in front of the TV]

Blackbeard: Oh, did the documentary mention another bird that mates for life?

Stede: [nods]

Roach: That's one of my biggest fears.

Lucius: What is?

Roach: If I ever, like, woke up as a donut...

Lucius: You'd eat yourself?

Roach: i wouldn't even question it

Wee John: Roach just said 'I have an appetite for destruction' then leaned down and untied my shoe.

Stede: What are you doing?

Frenchie, taking a Buzzfeed quiz to see what kind of Poptart he is: work