[as Ghost Hunters]

Jim: [sneaking around, trips and falls]

Spanish Jackie: Who's there?!

Jim: Nobody, fuck off!

Oluwande: Almost hit Buttons with my car today. I was pulling up to the house and apparently he didn't see me. So this guy darts out in front of me and I hit the brakes-

Oluwande: And he fucking dabs.

Oluwande: His automatic reaction to almost getting hit by a car was to just fucking dab. His LAST MOMENTS would have been a sick ass dab.

Oluwande: i'm worried about him

Izzy, Fang, and Ivan: [arguing]

Blackbeard: [slaps arm on the table] WE ARE IN A GODDAMN IHOP. ACT LIKE IT.

Stede: It's like the bad guys always know where we are!

Lucius: Stede, did you remember to set your Twitter location to private?

Stede:

Lucius: You set it to private, right?

Stede:

Lucius: stede

Stede: Is he always like this?

Blackbeard: Oh, yeah, you shoulda seen The Great Jenga Tantrum of 1710.

Izzy: IVAN BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT.

[playing Among Us]

Frenchie, the Imposter: It's Pete!

Pete: What?! I was with Lucius the whole time!

Lucius: It's Pete.

Lucius, holding the door open: After you.

Izzy: Nah. I never let anyone walk behind me. 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear.

Lucius: Okay, but that still leaves a 30% chance I'll attack you from the front.

Izzy: Yeah, but it'd be easier to stop. Or I could counter it-

Lucius: [slaps him]

Roach: That's one of my biggest fears.

Lucius: What is?

Roach: If I ever, like, woke up as a donut...

Lucius: You'd eat yourself?

Roach: i wouldn't even question it

[at the store]

Ed, getting ready to pay: Is it a swipey swipe?

Stede: No, it's a chippy chip.

Izzy, behind them: UGH

Blackbeard: Hey, Stede-

Stede: [crying softly in front of the TV]

Blackbeard: Oh, did the documentary mention another bird that mates for life?

Stede: [nods]