Self Care Is Watching This With Sound

#relatable

Scenario: a sample of your DNA was taken, popped into a cell, and cloned into a baby, gestated in a sci-fi artificial womb vat. The first time you or anyone in your family meets this baby is after it has already been born out of said vat. You can hold the newborn if you want, it's up to you, but it is a living breathing baby that was cloned from your DNA and is genetically identical to you.

I love clone philosophy. Give me all your philosophy of clones

You know, it’s possible that Danny has more Right to the Throne than just having beaten Pariah Dark.

In episode 13 on Halloween, Danny took the Sword of Pariah Dark’s right hand servant and Knight Fright Knight. Danny’s “I’ll have it back by Midnight.” Could be easily be taken as a challenge. That Danny intends to put Fright Knight back into stasis before midnight Unless Fright Knight can reclaim his sword and defeat him before that time.

Doesn’t matter what Danny’s actual intentions were for the Sword. He freed Fright Knight. stated his terms and left with it.

Fright Knight manages to retrieve Soul Shredder but the fight isn’t over. There’s still time to Midnight which means the Challenge is still in place. They fight, Danny successfully defeats Fright Knight in a battle not just of strength but Will. His aura flairs while they struggle against each other for control of Soul Shredder.

Danny wins and speaks the verse “To cease the storm, To end the fear, The sword must sheathe, In pumpkin near!” Before sheathing Soul Shredder in a ‘pumpkin’ and stating, “Told ya I’d have it back by midnight.” Claiming his victory against The Spirit of Halloween ON the Day/Evening where he’s likely more powerful than usual.

Danny Fenton challenges The Ghost King’s Right Hand, before Vlad makes a move to get the Key. Danny Phantom successfully defeats Fright Knight in 1v1 combat.

Danny Fenton-Phantom threw down his right to duel Pariah with his full self, both as Living and Dead. Without even realizing that’s what was happening bc he’s 14 and well, there’s no one around teaching him that there are rules and a formal process to things.

The Infinite Realms won’t care that Danny came and ‘stole/borrowed’ Soul Shredder’ for some Living Bet, (of which he immediately showed his code of honor in admitting to cheating and accepting the consequence of losing the Bet.) maybe unless an adult intervened but its funnier if he does eat the underwear but unintentionally and on instinct does that intangible trick that happened with that Spork in Public Enemy.

THEN when Dark is released Danny is the one who pulls out the Sword (initially to fight Vlad but ultimately ends up denying surrender thus kickstarting the challenge) and Danny is the one who goes to the castle/keep alone and begins the fight. It took a TEAM of Ancients to put Pariah away the first time. Yet the Ghosts who come to help not only give him a pep talk but refuse to go with him to help in the Duel.

And I think it’s because they either Knew this was a Challenge for the Throne or sensed it Had to be Danny first and Had to be Danny only who fought.

If anything Vlad would be considered his second. Or at most the first choice for a temporary monarch until Danny comes of age to be Crowned. After all Vlad didn’t fight ANYONE at any point in acquiring what was needed to free Pariah. The Behemoth was made to retreat from pursuing Vlad who used Trickery to get the key like a thief, he fled from Pariah Dark rather than face him in anyway and convinced Fright Knight to “work for him” rather than fight him either.

Sure that might seem like a good idea and maybe if Vlad had actually managed to Overthrow Pariah with an uprising he would have some footing to make a claim but he doesn’t have any backing in using Right of Conquest for such a claim.

The Right of Conquest is a right of ownership to land after immediate possession via force of arms. A Force of Arms is defined as “by using Weapons” or “by military action.” The ghosts fighting the army of Skeletons would count as military action and the Exosuit would be considered a Weapon.

By taking this into consideration Vladimir Masters-Plasmius (who by all accounts classifies as a Spy) has no Right to the Throne of The Infinite Realms, and also did everything via his ghost self.

Where Danny Fenton-Phantom was victorious in Two 1v1 Duels against both The Royal Knight and The High King himself. AND is active within the ghostly community with both his Living and Unliving sides. Has shown commitment to the well being and safety of both The Realms and The Living Realms on countless occasions.

So under these observations I have decided Vlad has no substantial claim to the Title or Position of King. Especially after that fucking mess in Kindred Spirits where Danny gave him a fucking beat down.

Anyway those are my thoughts on how Danny actually pulled a fast one on Vlad (unintentionally) who figured it out and instead of trying to defeat or challenge Danny for the Throne actually intended to replace him with a clone that would obey him and Rule or become Ruler that way. Aside from just being a terrible person and ‘Father’ that would likely be a primary factor in his rejection of Elle.

Thank you for coming to my PhanTalk. I will be accepting questions but also vanishing from the net to play Don’t Starve and House Flipper.

story prompt: children of villains au

Jack and Maddie Fenton, after college and prior to having their first child, were highly-effective super villains. Mad scientists the likes of which Luthor could only dream of achieving.

They were so fucking frightening that this is what drove Vlad away. He wasn't biding his time, he was goddamn hiding from his ex-best friends so that they wouldn't dissect him.

Shit man, they'd nearly done it to him when he'd been fully human. If they found out he'd become part of their obsession?

So yeah Vlad went to ground.

No financial backing, no morals, only science. Everything was a science experiment, full stop.

Then they had a daughter, and like...huh. This. This wasn't an experiment. This was perfection? A mix of both Jack and Maddie, in one tiny perfect body. She was adorable.

And the government, knowing that if these crackpots were dangerous before, holy fuck they'd be unstoppable now cuz protective parent mode go, offers them a deal.

Stop attacking people, stop experimenting on people, stop being villains, make weapons for the government. Do this, and the government will set them up in a house, let them continue experiments that do not infringe on human rights, and the kid gets a full ride scholarship to whatever college she wants, however many times she wants to go.

The Fentons took it; shit man a free scholarship is nothing to laugh at, they'd been to college. That debt was the driving force to them turning to villainy in the first place.

By the time they had Danny they'd fully acclimatized to being strange, ghost-obsessed parents.

The accident happens, Jack and Maddie don't know, shit goes down, and the GIW find out before they do. Then Danny goes missing, after his last known location was being shot down by the GIW.

Now Jack and Maddie, their kids are perfect. Small, cute perfect little kids. Theirs and theirs alone. If one of them managed to become half of the thing they were obsessing over, then they would learn to live with that, because he was their son.

The GIW had hurt their son.

So they made sure Jazzy-pants was secure, protected, and safe; and then proceeded to get all of their old super-villain gear back, decimate the GIW, and commit multiple war crimes.

The government, thinking that they've gone back for no reason, freaks and calls the Justice League. The Justice League who had never had to fight the Fentons, as they'd retired just before the League formation. The older heroes that had fought them are either dead or in retirement.

They know Superman's weakness, they know how to deal with Flash, they can even handle Wonder Woman. Whatever hero the Justice League throws at them, they know exactly what to do.

They are Batman levels of insanely prepared, but with the insanity to be just unpredictable enough that Batman can't tell his friends how to work around the Fenton's plans.

Meanwhile, Jack and Maddie have managed to find out that their baby boy is not being held by the GIW. In fact, it looks like he's gone to ground, smart boy that he is.

They track him to his last known location.

Gotham.

In Gotham, Jason snaps at the street kid he'd taken in to hold the fuck still, since stitches were hard. Danny tries, but stitches feel weird and he's ticklish.

In Wayne Manor, Jazz stares down Bruce Wayne; conclusive evidence in front of her to prove he is Batman. She demands he finds her brother before her parents tear the world apart.

In the Bat Cave, Sam stares down Damian, and Tucker gets stared down by Alfred. They just wanted to find their friend, and what better way than a tracker on the BatMobile?

I just got described as an "ad hating commie" by someone because I said a minute of youtube ads is unpleasant. fully spent 5 minutes arguing and defending youtube ads. insane stuff

Damian and Jason are the only family members who can speak and understand Arabic perfectly

Damain's favorite activity has become speaking in Arabic what he likes about his brothers (he's trying to get better), and Jason has made it worse

Damian, in Arabic: my grandfather is right you are one of the smartest human beings of this century

Tim: ....?????

Jason: he's cursed you to the fifth generation

This has become Jason and Damian's favorite activity together

Alternatively, because they're siblings:

Damian: I hope you sit on a freshly painted bench

Jason: He says he loves you <3

dfo theory is so funny to me especially when it’s combined with InkoMight au cuz just imagine inko having dated only two men in her life and it’s the world’s greatest hero and the world’s most powerful villain

mitsuki: Why did it take you so long to find a new man?

inko: I have sort of high standards.

mitsuki: Oh? How high?

inko: Well, you see…

It would be hilarious if villains loved Nightwing and were terrified of Officer Dick Grayson.

Dick Grayson- who is used to open spaces and adrenaline- being stuck in a boring bleak office, surviving on shots of coffee and red bull with caffeine that would make Tim concerned.

The thugs soon realised that unlike most of the other cops - Dick was from Gotham.

No one fucks with Gothamites.

Villain *shooting at Dick with machine guns*

Dick *appearing from the shadows behind him*: Boo.

Villain: THIS IS A FIVE STOREY BUILDING HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE

Or

Thief *throwing a counting down bomb at Dick*

Dick: *catching and tossing the bomb at a safe distance before turning round and shooting it so it explodes mid air while running after thief*

Thief: .. what the actual fuck

Dick: Gee look at all that time you had! Shame you threw it away :D

Thief:

Dick: I’m from Gotham

Thief *realising they fucked up* : Please don’t steal my bones

OR

Shooter: *sets elaborate booby traps throughout the houses in an active hostage situation*

Dick *using his training as robin and inhuman flexibility to surpass them with ease*: Ah been a while since I got to have a nice stretch thank you.

Shooter:

Dick:

Shooter:

Dick: .. Hi :)

Shooter: Are you Satan?

AND

In interrogation room

Murderer: I think I’ll take your eyes and add them to my collection

Dick *running on spite and caffeine that could give Superman a sugar rush* : Funny.. I was going to say the same thing to you

Murderer: .. what

Dick: I wouldn’t take your eyes though.. they look like the inspiration behind the whole Medusa’s “look at it and you turn to stone” thing-

Murderer: Hey! Take that back before I gut you

Dick *smile stretching wider without blinking* : oh? Or what? I know everything about you. Who says I can’t kill you and walk out with everyone being none the wiser? I know how to kill someone too..you aren’t special.

Murderer:

Murderer: I’m scared for my safety.

Because the thing is, Nightwing is who Dick really is. It’s who he can be free as, be himself as without red tapes and regulations. Where he can give as good as he gets, and he’s kind and empathetic. He gets to help the downtrodden and goes easy on most of them if they give up right away, not to mention the fact that he never causes permanent damage.

But officer Dick Grayson is a different story. He runs on sleepless nights and no self preservation. Seeing an officer with an uncanny skill set they’re scarily good at, not to mention the cheery attitude he always has scares the shit out of criminals. Cuz no way in hell is a smiling Gothamite not a deranged one. He chases crimes like a bloodhound, and isn’t afraid to make good on threats he makes to ensure they never hurt anyone again.

Bonus if the batfam doesn’t know about this.

Red hood: Shit I can’t believe we ended up in Bludhaven

Red Robin *tying up the corrupt politican* : Since this is a sensitive case, we need someone we can trust to make sure it is seen through.

Red hood: .. So we paying a visit to Officer Grayson?

Politician *screeching* : NO NO NO NO! PLEASE NOT HIM!! JUST KILL ME INSTEAD AND TAKE ALL MY MONEY I CANT DEAL WITH HIM!

Red hood: .. is he fucking serious?

Henchmen: Sir he is. And we agree. Please take our bones and kill us but don’t take us to Officer Grayson.

Red Robin: Wait what did he do?

Henchman 1: He asked boss if the hat was sentient.. and said that if it was would it make that hat the top and boss the bottom.

Henchman 2: Last time we met I tried to shoot him but suddenly my gun was blank and he raised his hand and let the ammo drop

Red Hood: Well even I could do that-

Henchman 2: They were my bullets. I had selected the colour personally.

Red robin *growing concerned*

Henchman 3: He sang a lullaby to a child when we were holding the station hostage, and replaced the people with my family members. He even sang their social security numbers!

Henchman 4: He’s the most dangerous of them all. I ain’t shitting ya when I say he’s as scary as the bat from Gotham.

*all nodding in agreement*

Red hood:

Red Robin:

Red hood: Nah that doesn’t sound like Dick

Red Robin: Agreed. Let’s go there Hood.

*villains’ sobbing intensifies*

Get up girls we have another day of obsessing over fictional characters to cope with reality ahead of us

God and Dog (?)