Not Very Subtle Of The Almighty, Though. Fruit Tree In The Middle Of A Garden, With A ‘don’t Touch’

yet another sketch dump LOL

aziraphale + text posts bonus:

This one is a bit lazy

Day 4? Oh wow - weapon (list by @ Vanillacreame153, (alternating between two list don’t mind me))

Hot take that I don’t actually really believe in but I just started to think about it and I cannot stop thinking about it:

Aziraphale is kind of an asshole to Crowley:

He is so on and off: one day he brings out candles and wine and the other he tells Crowley that they are not even friends.

In 1945 aziraphale goes on (what seems to be) a date with Crowley and then in 1967 he drops the “you go too fast” speech.

I just imagine Crowley having to endure everything, never really knowing if aziraphale got his back or not, never knowing if he will be rejected or loved everytime he sees him.

I love ineffable husbands but damn Crowley is getting a lot of hurt for 6000+ years because of aziraphale.

I think I need to rewatch good omens for the 15th time to prove myself wrong and get rid of those unholy thoughts……. I haven’t watch GO in quite a long time and maybe the angsty part of fanon is slowly getting to me lmao

I also think I may be currently possessed with micheal or beezlebub trying to get me to hate the husbands because it’s part of their ineffable plan or something

i’m so totally normal about the fact that aziraphale’s last (known) deliberate foray into the queer community was when he learned the gavotte at the fictionalized hundred guineas club (!!!) in the 1800s and now in the 2020s he’s like “grindr? what’s that?”

many are talking about his repression which is very valid… and yet the thing to me that stands out about aziraphale is that he’s actually… incredibly stable in his identity and that identity IS incredibly queer. queer by the standards of heaven AND by human standards as well

metatron describes his “de facto partnership” with crowley as “irregular.” and in fact aziraphale in his entirety is irregular. he likes and makes it his business not only to understand but to be a connoisseur of all manner of things angels aren’t supposed to even remotely care about. food. music. books. theatre. sleight of hand. and more.

it’s the sort of behavior that would’ve gotten him othered, treated as a bit odd, in heaven even if he hadn’t chosen to consort all across the earth with a literal demon. and it IS treated that way - the fact is aziraphale even as an angel has got proclivities that set him apart from the rest of the host (even after offering him the highest position in heaven, metatron still acts deeply dismissive of him… like aziraphale’s bookshop is merely a quaint little hobby of his that can be easily transferred to another custodian, and not a literal extension of who aziraphale has become, full of his tartan and unique bibles and special vintages of wine and the books arranged in a very specific way)

so. aziraphale is a queer angel but of course he’s also queer to other humans. but in such a way that… he had his realization a LONG time ago, and put the matter very much to rest after that. aziraphale is perpetually something like several centuries behind schedule. he owns an ancient computer that probably continues to run windows 98 simply because aziraphale’s decided it should. he wears the same waistcoat and coat for generations because he simply likes them precisely the way they are and sees no reason to change them. but the idea that he doesn’t know how he comes across to others - of course he does. he knows he looks like your prim and proper grandfather and he prefers it that way

aziraphale looked around at humans in the 1880s and said: ah yes. this is where i fit. and promptly ensconced himself in that queer subculture. learned the gavotte. read his austen. loved crowley from afar. aziraphale is fiercely and vibrantly queer. just with the sort of assurance of someone who lives with his lover in a commonlaw marriage for decades and then shows up at city hall for the certificate once society decides it’s ‘allowed.’ like… he hasn’t had any need to know what grindr is because aziraphale’s ‘scene’ was a century and a half ago and it defined romance for him too.

but my favorite thing about aziraphale is how much of him is about appearances versus the truth. he can lie straight to angels’ faces and sleep at night. he knows he comes off soft but he once wielded a flaming sword. he dissembles helplessness but he’s far from it and he knows precisely how it makes others treat him. and at the core of aziraphale is rigidity, inflexibility of ideas… his sense of self is stable where crowley’s is malleable, and so on, and so on

and the fact that he’s continuously fixated on trying to misguidedly do the right thing, the fact that he seeks heavenly approval and wants to fit the world into his schema of good vs evil… in no way do i think that means he isn’t one hundred percent aware of how he feels about crowley or what it means about him by angelic or human standards. i’ve seen some folks saying that aziraphale doesn’t want to like kissing crowley and like… as much as i love me some brideshead revisited/atonement flavored angst; i put forth that it’s not internalized homophobia or queer panic but simply: “i’m trying to do the right thing for both of us and you won’t let me.” and “i wanted our first kiss to be different.” he was envisioning an entirely different flavor of romance than what he got but he emma woodhoused too close to the sun

like, y’all. aziraphale in all likelihood has a glorious collection of historical queer erotica. he just has a feathery diva coat hanging in his closet, and for what. “oh, good lord” he says at crowley’s revolutionary outfit in the bastille, while eyeing him up like an entire meal. he’s so good at affected propriety, at carefully constructed stuffiness, but between the two of them aziraphale’s got to be the one who has experience

aziraphale had been physically throwing himself at crowley the entire season. he orchestrated an entire regency ball so they could touch hand to hand. he spends the entire season (well, and season 1) looking at crowley like he’s particularly coveted. he looked at crowley before the fall like he was glorious and beautiful. aziraphale’s queer and he knows it and i think that isn’t his problem, it’s the fact that he wants to build a different sort of future for the two of them but crowley’s gone and thrown a wrench in it by reminding him of everything he can finally have. like. that’s the heartbreak. it’s how dare you make this ugly? i forgive you for our first kiss being all pain and salt. it’s my dearest, i wanted to make heaven as beautiful as you deserve. as sacred and safe for us as our bookshop. and i can do that for us, because once i held a flaming sword and i still remember how the hilt felt in my hands. and now the taste of you is in my mouth.

catch me monching on @chernozemm's cottage wives like an everlasting gobstopper

On an other note, for everyone being very hurt after s2, I’ll say something I usually say to myself when something like this happens;

Those are fictional characters, they don’t exist, which means that if you want you can ignore the last 10 minutes of s2 and replace it with a happy ending! Writers do this just like that 1/ sequel 2/ good plot 3/ getting emotions out of the viewers, dont be too sad, im sure season 3 will end well (RIGHT NEIL? Because if it doesn’t fucking end well I will be personally coming for you), their stories aren’t done just yet.

anyway I will be in a corner crying all the tears a human is physically able to make. I did not appreciate this cliffhanger, sorry.

Hey fellow good omens s2 watcher, how we doing?

Because I am not feeling fucking good

@neil-gaiman what the fuck

I don’t see anyone talk about this,

As we saw, Crowley created the universe, AND created all the laws of physics (or at least put them into motion)

And then, what does he say to Gabriel Jim when he asks about why the book goes down?? He mumbles vaguely that it is gravity and that small objects go around a bigger mass but when asked for the specifics he just say “uh I don’t know”, this man created the universe, put into motion the Big Bang (,met his soulmate at the event btw),and he doesn’t know the explanation behind gravity??

Ladies, gentlemen, and non binary folks, let’s all reflect on this, that’s all I wanted to say, thank you.

“is Crowley gay coded?” fuck no, there's a huge difference

Aziraphale is gay as in so homo he makes Ancient Greeks look straight, gay as in sees angelhood like it's the only gender worth being and loving, gay as in this fucker has probably made out with Oscar Wilde at some point and inspired that bloody nightingale story when they broke up, gay as in the gay that binary cisgender people whinge about aspiring to be whenever they're annoyed with the other gender, it's right there in the book

Crowley is queer as in trans, genderfluid, non-binary, lovequeer, genderqueer, doesn't belong anywhere, queer as in fuck you, so queer he probably encouraged humans to invent neopronouns for kicks, so queer it makes Aziraphale look straight, queer as in great mangled pustulent bollocks to the essentialists, queer as in shapeshifting into literally any form he likes even if it's a ball of energy or a winged snake with the head of a pissed off piranha or a ginger David Tennant with a drunken supermodel walk