Hiiiiiiiyaaaaa While Awkwardly Waving Like I Didn’t Vanish Off The Face Of The Earth

random ninjago incorrect quotes because i got bored, have fun reading them

nya: preheat the apartment for me before i get home

kai: what’re you, banana bread?

nya: choose your next words VERY carefully.

jay: if yo leg get cut off, would it hurt?

kai: DUH

jay: how though?

cole: cus your leg got cut off!

jay: how’re you gonna feel the pain?

kai: in your leg… *trailing off*

jay: EXACTLY bruh. how’re you gonna feel the pain—

all three idiots: —IF YOUR LEG IS GONE?!

zane, at the side:

lloyd: wtf people actually tell their crushes they like them???

jay: what the hell do YOU do?

lloyd: i die? lmao what kinda question…

random person: i need boy advice help!

nya: kill him

lloyd: so apparently the “bad vibes” i’ve been feeling are actually “severe psychological distress”

garmadon: LISTEN I ONLY DO UNETHICAL MAGIC IF IT’S FUNNY

lloyd: hey brad, wanna see something funny?

brad: uh, okay.

lloyd: shout.

brad: *shouts*

*nothing happens*

lloyd: *looks at brad with That Damn Smirk* *screams like a girl*

the rest of the ninja: *scrambling and stumbling over each other running to lloyd* LLOYD WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU OKAY ARE YOU INJURED DID GARMADON COME BACK

brad:

garmadon: stop accusing me of hedonism and moral decadence i am not even having a good time

lloyd: i can fix her *drilling, screaming and chainsaw sounds*

cole: *to zane* we need to distract those guys.

zane: *to cole* leave it to me.

zane: *to the villain lackeys* centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. discuss.

villain lackeys: *immediately begin arguing*

lloyd: you guys are the best team i could ask for, i’d do anything for all of you!

zane: i would like you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

lloyd: absolutely not!

mailman: *hits the bong and immediately brcomes aware of the narrative*

mailman: *hits the bong again and looks directly at the camera knowingly*

nya: i want to buy some new engine parts, but it costs like a thousand dollars!

lloyd: where’re you gonna get that money?

cole: you could just sell jay

kai: where’s she gonna get the other $999?

Bruce trying to shove talk his in law

Bruce: *opens his mouth*

Wally: *zooms away*

———————

Bruce: *long spiel*

Bruce: ...And that's why if either of you hurt him, I'll make sure you stay dead this time.

Roy: *takes out one earbud*

Roy, to Artemis: Did you hear something?

Artemis, watching TV: *shrugs*

———————

Kory: I've come to seek your blessing to ask Barbara out.

Bruce: Sure.

Kory: That's it? Isn't there a ritual bat-talk you undergo with all of your children's lovers?

Bruce: Barbara can handle it herself.

———————

Bruce: If any of you make Tim sad for even a SECOND, I will take everything you have.

Bernard, a college student: *hands him a dollar*

Kon, a farmer: *empties a pocket of dirt*

Bart, a Bart: *spits out a pizza crust*

———————

Steph and Cass: *enter holding hands*

Bruce: It's too early for this.

Steph: It's three PM.

———————

Bruce: Thank you for the intel, Detective Montoya. Now about you and my cousin—

Renee: Hold on, I'm getting a call.

Renee: *answers the phone and walks away*

———————

Bruce: You must be Duke's girlfriend.

Izzy: Yeah, I am. Got a problem with that, nepo baby?

Bruce: ...You may proceed.

———————

Jon: Hiya, Mr. Wayne! I'm here for me and Dami's playdate.

Bruce: Did you say playDATE?

———————

Bruce: He may seem tough, but on the inside he's a little boy who's been hurt too many times.

Selina: Is this really necessary?

Bruce: Promise me you'll take care of that little boy!

Selina: Okay, okay, yeesh.

———————

Bruce: YOU BREAK HIS HEART AND YOU'LL REGRET IT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

Alfred: Master Bruce, I think you misinterpreted what I meant by I love scones.

It's me, i'm girls

villain: this is photographic evidence of your children committing war crimes

bruce: it’s ai generated

villain: this is a video of red robin literally admitting to blowing up multiple league of assassin bases with with little warning, potentially killing hundreds

bruce: he’s such an entrepreneur, funny thing how words can be twisted in media

villain: these are multiple videos of black bat killing people in costume

bruce: are you saying women can’t defend themselves in this day in age? my mr villain i expected better from you than misogyny

villain: red hood is literally pumping lead into a goon in front of you

bruce: those are rubber bullets silly

the real reason john winchester didn't trust or interact with other hunters is because sam and dean looked like this around the time sam left for stanford

john's ass was wearing one of those "yes I do have a beautiful daughter I also have a gun, a shovel, and an alibi" shirts you buy at the boardwalk

jensen ackles as young alfred is sth i never know i need

Weather forecast predicts absolute foolery

It’s crazy how all of the Kents have the same type which is badass people with dark and with tough but also caring personalities

Johnny, leaning on the counter: Hey beautiful, come here often?

Peter: Is this the part where I remind you we've been married for four years or do I play along?

Johnny: Play along!

Peter: Alright. Sorry, I'm not interested, I'm married

need a woman like her fr

Talia flirting with Bruce after acting motherly towards the other batkids that aren't Damian