There comes a time when the criminals prefer being taken in by Batman, because his kids go a little overboard:
Goon: "You won't kill me."
Cass: "You ready to bet your life on that?"
Duke: *tosses her the gun they took off the guy* "I would do what she says."
---------
Random thug: "Hey Batman doesn't kill--"
Damian: "Not like he's here. You're certainly not going to be able to tell him."
---------
Tim: "Well, accidents do happen. Shame." *starts to let go of the rope*
Guy dangling off the building: "No, no okay, okay, I'll tell you!"
---------
Steph: *clears throat*
Gang members: "We surrender!" *multiple guns fall to the ground*
Steph: "I see my reputation precedes me, wise choice."
---------
*Bruce gets chewed out by Gordon by the Batsignal because the rumours have spread so much, it kind of sounds like Batman's kids have been going around murdering people*
Bruce: "In my defense, it's only one of them."
Gordon: "What."
Bruce: *realizes he never filled Gordon in on Red Hood*
KEEP UP WITH THE WAYNES
Damn, the never-ending tags plis send help
Yaoiful yuri
He/they for nya btw
Percy: so let me just get this clear, Leo speaks three languages, he's super tech savvy, and he's in AP math classes.
Leo: pretty much, yeah.
Percy: and Solace over here is like number one professional doctor with years of training and actual practice.
Will: I'm kinda cheating with the magic, but I read the books to make sure.
Percy: meanwhile Reyna, Jason, Hazel and Frank were/are a teenage war general. That must had required something.
Reyna, jason, Hazel and Frank: way too much leadership skills.
Percy: Calipso can make clothes from scratch, and how to grow her own food.
Calipso: I do.
Percy: Nico knows like six languages. And had years of playing video games.
Nico: I know Italian, Latin, Greek, English, and a little bit of French, so like, four and a half.
Percy: Annabeth gained architectural experience when she designed the fucking Olympus.
Annabeth: that was awesome.
Percy: Piper have a famous father, and she speaks French.
Piper: I don't like to talk about it.
Percy: all of you people are actually useful in the mortal world. I am wanted for arson.
Jay: If the multiverse theory is true, then there's a universe where it isn't.
Nya: The multiverse theory doesn't cover paradoxical situations.
Jay: Except in the universe where it does.
Kai: I'm having an aneurysm.
Tim's Red Robin run is just him becoming like Bruce right after Jason's death.
Like Tim is more aggressive, and he's taking fights that he knows he most likely won't win, and he's practically suicidal. Tim lost himself to the same grief Bruce did.
Out of all the Batkids, Tim is the most likely Bruce. However, because he saw Bruce, he was able to set himself up with an actual support system.
But straight up, Tim didn't expect to survive any of it. His one job was to find Bruce and maybe die when Ra's shoves him out the window or when he protected Tam or when the Widower stabbed him.
Tim doesn't know, but he wasn't trying to live. He wasn't trying to die either. If he did, just blame it on circumstance. If he didn't, he didn't.
Tim was passively suicidal. He wasn't trying to die, but he wasn't not trying either.
Bruce being poly and bisexual would fix me
HI HIIII I’M BACK WITH MEMES…!! I don’t know if someone did this already cause my brain is telling me that there was but!!!! I made some to test out my art style !! I think it turned out lovely!
one of my favorite memes ever JKDSJFKSDJKDS also first time drawing Skylor woo!!! (*°▽°*)
bonus greeenflower hehehehe o(≧▽≦)o
the bats being asked how they would feel if they became their moms:
Bruce: sobbing
Dick: I'd be okay with that, she was truly a great mom... before she and my father were tragically murdered....
Tim: yea, I think I'm good. I loved her and all but I'd prefer not
Duke: maybe, you know, before she was jokerized and trying to kill me
Steph: fuck no
Damian: ....
Cass, after being reminded that her mother exists, silently stands and leaves to go and fight Lady Shiva again
Jason: look me in the eyes and ask that question again
-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-
Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?
Damian: *looks up* yes
Bruce: what do you think of her...?
Dick: *tries not to laugh*
Tim: *fails not to laugh*
Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*
Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?
Tim: He's trying to set you up!
Batkids -Damian: *laughs*
Damian: *stares blankly*
Bruce: of course, you don't hav-
Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?
Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*
Steph: *chokes on her drink*
Cass: *smiles*
Batkids: WHAT?!
Bruce: ... I-....
Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!
Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!
Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?
Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon
Damian: I was.
Dick: but you just-
Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*
Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*
Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!
-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-
Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep
Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner
Jon: hehe... fuck
random ninjago incorrect quotes because i got bored, have fun reading them
nya: preheat the apartment for me before i get home
kai: what’re you, banana bread?
nya: choose your next words VERY carefully.
jay: if yo leg get cut off, would it hurt?
kai: DUH
jay: how though?
cole: cus your leg got cut off!
jay: how’re you gonna feel the pain?
kai: in your leg… *trailing off*
jay: EXACTLY bruh. how’re you gonna feel the pain—
all three idiots: —IF YOUR LEG IS GONE?!
zane, at the side:
lloyd: wtf people actually tell their crushes they like them???
jay: what the hell do YOU do?
lloyd: i die? lmao what kinda question…
random person: i need boy advice help!
nya: kill him
lloyd: so apparently the “bad vibes” i’ve been feeling are actually “severe psychological distress”
garmadon: LISTEN I ONLY DO UNETHICAL MAGIC IF IT’S FUNNY
lloyd: hey brad, wanna see something funny?
brad: uh, okay.
lloyd: shout.
brad: *shouts*
*nothing happens*
lloyd: *looks at brad with That Damn Smirk* *screams like a girl*
the rest of the ninja: *scrambling and stumbling over each other running to lloyd* LLOYD WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU OKAY ARE YOU INJURED DID GARMADON COME BACK
brad:
garmadon: stop accusing me of hedonism and moral decadence i am not even having a good time
lloyd: i can fix her *drilling, screaming and chainsaw sounds*
cole: *to zane* we need to distract those guys.
zane: *to cole* leave it to me.
zane: *to the villain lackeys* centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. discuss.
villain lackeys: *immediately begin arguing*
lloyd: you guys are the best team i could ask for, i’d do anything for all of you!
zane: i would like you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
lloyd: absolutely not!
mailman: *hits the bong and immediately brcomes aware of the narrative*
mailman: *hits the bong again and looks directly at the camera knowingly*
nya: i want to buy some new engine parts, but it costs like a thousand dollars!
lloyd: where’re you gonna get that money?
cole: you could just sell jay
kai: where’s she gonna get the other $999?