So True (I Just Became An Adult I Dont Want To Be In Jail)

Veterans

*Evil guy undercover at a Wayne gala and the kids forget they’re in their civilian clothes*

Tim(to Jason): You chloroformed the janitor?!

Dick: We’re in trouble. We have to do something.

Tim: I don’t know what to do. My whole brain is crying.

Jason: Guys, guys, guys. Hey, hey. I have an idea. Okay, it may sound a little weird, but trust me.

*Evil guy starts to wake up and groans*

*Dick, Jason, and Tim pretend to wake up*

Evil guy: What’s happening?

Dick: Oh, we ALL got chloroformed!

Tim: Somebody chloroformed all of us.

Jason: And now we’re regaining consciousness together!

My Top 10 KPOP Songs of 2023

(not in any particular order)

(I know 2023 is not even over but shh)

ETA ~ NewJeans

Back for More ~ TXT

Chasing that feeling ~ TXT

Queencard ~ (G)I-DLE

Super Shy ~ NewJeans

3D ~ Jungkook

Sugar Rush Ride ~ TXT

I Am ~ IVE

OMG ~ NewJeans

Get A Guitar ~ RIIZE

there is no universe where megumi has parents who act normal

Things I'm certain have happened during patrol in Gotham City...

Tim forgetting to mute his commlink while swinging through a Starbucks drive thru.

Bruce brooding on a gargoyle while Jason and Dick start loudly sing 'Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better' across the rooftops behind him.

The neverending game of Rooftop Tag that Dick started when he was 10 and has continued since.

All the batkids getting distracted by the K9 units at crime scenes.

Jason screaming "Yeet!" while throwing Tim or Damian off a rooftop. Dick has tried yelling at him that that is not how we treat little brothers.

One of the batkids will start singing 🎶 Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious, no don't be suspicious 🎶 to see how many will join in. It's usually two or more.

Bruce hearing an explosion and automatically assuming it was Jason and Jay yelling over the comms, "I'm not even on that side of town!"

Damian getting distracted by a litter of alley cats and demanding Bruce help him take them to Selina before they return home.

It's not uncommon to hear "Do it for the vine!" yelled from Gotham's skyline. After so many times, Bruce had to ask Tim what Vine was.

Duke thinking this Bat gig was going to be super serious only to end up really confused when he hears Dick and Jason arguing over the comms whether or not tacos are better than chimichangas, both yelling at him when he gets too scared to weigh in on the opinion.

During a stakeout: Bruce always demands silence over the comms but it's been a long night and they're all hungry and tired. Steph asking, "Anyone up for pancakes after this, raise your hand." And after a few seconds, "Okay, Oracle, how many of us want pancakes?" And Oracle quietly says, "Everyone except Bruce. He wants omelets."

The neverending game of tag having to be given extra rules after Damian found out Dick was getting help from Oracle and called him out, "Extra eyes is cheating, Grayson!"

Jason handing out lollipops to the street kids down on Crime Alley.

Bruce threatening to bench Dick after Jason dared him to do a backflip off the top of Wayne Tower even though "I could have totally landed that, B!"

All the batkids racing across the rooftops screaming "Parkour!" to see who could do the most outrageous stunt. So far Cass has remained the winner each time.

Hide and Seek where Bruce is unknowingly the seeker. First one spotted has to buy breakfast.

Tim and Jason keeping a running score of who takes out the most baddies and arguing over who won because, "It doesn't count if they faint in fear, Red!"

Bruce sighing and wondering why he ever thought it was a good idea to become a parent.

So I ran out of room

shit i’ve heard chemistry majors say, pt... 3?

- you! you and whatever it is you’re holding are staying on THAT side of the room where there’s no one you can kill

- Tasting the analyte is strictly forbidden as it may contain toxic components. - line from laboratory manual

- professor, with an ominous tone: your graduate thesis committee will consist of five people, and not all of them are… good people

- *to lab instructor* so hypothetically, if someone were to spill a large amount of iodine onto… something, and this is hypothetical, then how would you hypothetically remove it? this is, of course, hypothetical

- my most effective method of qualitative analysis is called Guessing

- student: this isn’t dissolving, i think i’m going to try aqua regia   three separate people simultaneously, from different parts of the room: NO!!!!!!

- i think the person who wrote down the colors of these solutions was colorblind

- lab technician: how are you using up so much ethanol, it’s like you’re drinking it or something   students: *nervous glances*

- you’re sharing your workspace with him? …do you have life insurance?

- student: so how close do you think Professor […] is to reporting us to a psych evaluation team?

- professor: so let’s say you want to make a thermonuclear bomb. no, nuclear bombs are for idiots. now, thermonuclear bombs…

This is what misinformation + selective outrage + indifference looks like

Me: Gotdammit

Hot dog car

shit i’ve heard chemistry majors say, part 2

(since y’all liked the first one so much)

- professor: if you eat with a beryllium spoon you will, unfortunately, die

- same professor, later: and if you can’t tell these two compounds apart on the final, i will personally offer you a beryllium spoon with your next meal

- professor: this compound is highly toxic and explosive, so you will not be working with it in your first two years of education.   student: so we’re cool to die after sophomore year?

- professor: sodium nitrite is highly toxic   professor: it’s most widely used as a food additive

- political science professor: but has any one of you ever seen an atom?

- professor: the topic of today’s lecture is the concentration of water in water.

- *announcing participation grades, out of 10*   professor: you did very well this semester, your grade is 6

- sex is cool but have you been to Professor […]’s lectures?

- *professor walks back inside the room where students are taking a test, hears students frantically trying to hide their phones and notebooks*    professor: oh well, you’ll get better at cheating eventually…

- it went well and by that i mean it didn’t explode

- I GOT 6/10 ON THE CALCULUS TEST THIS IS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TODAY