Look Up For The Stars

[Fic] So let’s try this again:

- See I wanted to make this a comic but then I felt it would lack a certain nuance and complexity of character povs that I wanted to to delve into. Cuz man there is just so much to say about these two and their dynamic, Soo Fic it is! Pls go easy on me, guys I’m not much of a writer and these guys are hard to write for me 🥲

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“Wow, guess Donald was right.” Came a chuckle, “You are like a little shadow.”

And Casey freezes, hands barely hovering over Leo’s arms. Suddenly he’s seven years old again, caught red handed peeking through a little crack into meeting room.

A crooked grin, spreads itself across the slider’s face. “Hey shadow” His voice lilts playfully. So much younger and so much lighter yet still so achingly familiar, that if Casey hadn’t already spent 10 days into past? the present? being punched with that oh so wonderful cocktail of grief-nostalgia-fondness, he would have burst into tears already.

Instead, Casey smiles wryly. Awkwardly shuffling away from the bedside. “Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you. I just wanted to check on your injuries”. He raises a brow “I can go if you want..?”

“Nah it’s cool. I’ve been sleeping lots anyways.”

“You were in a coma” The human deadpans.

“Eh.. same thing.” Sensei-no just Leo now,shrugs.

“It’s really not.” Casey snorts. A beat. A pause. And then because he’s been holding onto this for too long and his mom didn’t raise no coward. And Uncle Mi didn’t teach him to be the kind of person who doesn’t apologise. Because Leo’s been awake for two days now, cmon Casey you can’t hold onto this forever-

“I’m sorry.”

“Whaat? I’m sorry? Sorry for what?” The slider laughs, tilting his head to the side. “Did you ruin my very rare first edition Jupiter Jim saves a cat comic?”

“Well..no.”

“Then you got nothing to be sorry for” Leo smiles, a clear attempt at lightening the mood.

But Casey won’t let him. This needs to be said. Nervous, the teen wrings his hands together. “I meant what I said in the tunnels.”

“Ah. That.” The blue toned slider falters ever so slightly. “It’s fine!” He grins brightly, casually waving Casey away. Too casual. Because of course he is. They are different. But Sensei and Leo shared a past together once. And it shows.

“You were right,” Leo continues, “I was being arrogant and I wasn’t listening to my team itz all good.”

“Well yeh, I wasn’t wrong there.” Frustrated, Casey yanks a hand through his hair. “But I was being too harsh. I was expecting you to be like Sensei when I shouldn’t have. It’s not fair.”

“Yeh… You shouldn’t have.” Leo agrees, looking away. Uncharacteristically quiet from what Casey has seen of him over his two day (and currently halfway through his third) long coherency.

Oh Shell, He’s just made this worse didn’t he?

“That’s not what I meant” Casey’s hands ball into fists. Should he hug Leo? Would that be too weird? Hugs were for family, he was only a stranger. “I- I’m not good with words.” The ravenette groans, wringing his hands together again.

“It’s not about you. But it’s not not about you, you know?” He gestures to the bed ridden turtle emphatically. “It’s about all of you guys. Your family loves you. Their Leo, not Master Leonardo. You don’t need to be anything else. You’re enough just the way you are. Michelangelo wouldn’t have opened that portal otherwise. They need you, just as much as you need them.”

An indiscernible flash flickers across the other’s face. But he quickly relaxes back into a smile. “Hmm.. If you say so” Leo drawls, perfect mask. Perfect play. But something in his shoulders ease ever so slightly. So Casey has hope that there is something that sticks.

A silence then descends upon the Med Bay. It drags on and lingers. Both parties not knowing what else to say. Casey’s about to go excuse himself, when Leo opens his mouth. “You know we’re your family too right?”

The younger teen blinks. “Huh?”

“We’re your family too.” The turtle repeats. Narrowing his eyes firmly. “Look, I dunno what’s been going on this past week. but knowing the others, they’re probably just trying to figure out how to broach that ‘ole subject with you without making you uncomfortable”

Wisely Cj only hums and says nothing. Knowing whatever he says would sound about as unconvinced as he feels. Tell that to my Ninpo he wants to say bitterly. Tell that to every conversation he’s turned stilted and cold, because he’s slipped up and believed for a second that things were one and the same.

(When mom died, April it was you brushed my hair. And taught me how to tie my hair.

Michelangelo you always encouraged me to draw on our walls till the last of our chalk was gone.

Donatello you let me sleep in your lab even on the days you banned even Sensei from coming in.

And Leo- .. Leonardo you were everything. You who used to tie my shoelaces and the first to come running when I cried.

I can recite the lines from so many different Lou Jitsu movies I never got to see.)

He must not hide it as well he thinks. Because Leo shoots him the most exasperated -are you serious look-.

“Dude, Dad and Raph found a subway car for you. April snuck you a discount at her new workplace. And shell-!” Leo throws his hands up, “Donnie let you fix our cameras, and don’t even get me started on how Mikey lets you help him in his kitchen even though I’m his favourite brother and I’m banned.” Leo grumbles, crossing his arms together.

“I- I guess you do have a point .” Despite his best efforts, Casey ducks his head down and his eyes begin to burn. Boy, Casey is really starting to hate how much sense Leo is making. For all the differences between Sensei and Leonardo, why did the universe have to give them the one similarity that lets them talk their way into whatever they want and making Casey agree with them? Perhaps.. perhaps what Casey had Misconstrued as polite obligation was maybe something deeper after all.. ?

“Course, I do. I’m awesome.” Leo smirks, flicking his mask tails with a flourish that has Casey resisting the urge to groan and roll his eyes.

“I know it won’t be the same. But you are family Case. I promise you. All of this means something. We won’t let you be alone” His eyes soften, “You’re my family.” And it’s true, Leo does not know Casey. In his eyes, it’s been a little under 72 hours since he’s met Casey. And only 48 hours since all hell broke loose. But hell could have been so much worse and he can see everything.

The expertly wrapped bandages around Mikey arms and Donnie’s shell, the carefully filled resin over the hole, they had so graciously given his biggest brother’s shell, with such precision his beloved purple twin couldn’t hope (nor want) to achieve. Corners of the med bay that had been gathering dust now suspiciously clean. Faithfully ushering their sister to and fro the lair. Heck even the way the oily haired teen (which ew gross, someone really had to go teach that kid how to wash his hair) was hovering over him now, taking shifts so his father and brothers and sister could rest.

Casey didn’t have to do those things. He owed them nothing. They weren’t the people who raised him. He could have just up and left once the initial invasion was over, he didn’t have to try so hard. Once it became clear that Leo, and by extension the others, were nothing like the people Casey grew up with. But he didn’t, he stayed. He cares. He cares so much.

And Shell, if that didn’t make Casey family, Leo didn’t know what will. If he could tolerate Baron ‘you threw me of a roof’ Draxum into his family he can definitely accept Casey.

A strangled noise breaks him from his thoughts, Leo comes back to himself to see a sniffing, now crying Junior.

“Ok bring it in, little brother” Leo grins smirking fondly, spreading his arms wide (because yes, of course one of the first things Leo asked, once he established Raph, Donnie, Mikey, April and dad were ok. Was what was Casey’s age. He needed to know if he could rub his age into Casey’s face. He needed his shit-eating grin older brother rights damn it!). Immediately, Casey rushes forward sobbing, wrapping his arms around the turtle as tightly as he can without further aggravating the other boy’s injuries.

“I’m so glad you’re here Leo.” He chokes out wetly, the tears he had been holding back for this entire interaction now freely flowing because truly, this was all he really wanted. He could never and would never ask the present Hamato family to be crushed under the same weight his guardians had been. All he asked was to be loved, and not alone. And sure he still had a lot of doubts but maybe, just maybe, Leo was right and he wasn’t as alone or unloved as he thought.

(He is future boy, freshly uprooted and fumbling blindly but maybe, just maybe not nearly the lone orphan without a home)

“I couldn’t have lost you twice” Casey shudders, burying his head deeper into Leo’s shoulder.

“And now you won’t. It’s all thanks to you.” Leo replies determinedly, tightening his grip around the other boy. And then in a much quieter, more vulnerable voice, he adds,

“I’m so glad I’m here too.” Because he was, Leo most truly and definitely was.

(And somewhere, deep down subdued, not so isolated teal begins to tentatively reach towards waiting blueredpurpleorangegreenwhitepink maroon and pulse a little less weakly again)

Behold a compilation of some badly drawn Mad Burnish with crazy shenanigans cuz I said so. 😂

Dynamics: Part 1, <Next!>

(Warning for word vomit ahead!)

I did say I have more storyish/lore stuff planned XD

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So in this Au, F!Raph died when Cj was 5. So there’s not much to say future wise. Cuz Cj rmbs zilch

Present wise: there was inital awkwardness for Cj meeting someone he’s only ever heard stories off plus that awkwardness of meeting someone new. But it was a breath of fresh air for Case, cuz surrounded by these reminders and unfamiliarity, Raph hurts the least. In the first few days post invasion, Cj hung out a lot with Raph cuz everyone was kinda down for the count. April couldn’t be around 24/7 cuz she had to check in with her human family, Mikey was spending the first 3-5 days sleeping alot cuz mystic exhaustion plus his hands. Donnie was in his lab a lot trying to process all the events, plus fix everything the Krang broke and Leo was in his week long coma. And Splints who decided to get off the couch for once was stretched thin trying to look out for everyone and so as a result the two were kinda just smushed tgt allowing them to bond.

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Overall I picture their dynamic as the most laidback (drama free). Largely in part cuz; A)Cj has less emotional hang ups cuz he doesn’t have to expand mental energy to manage his expectations or manage * cough push down cough * any crushing grief/feelings of abandonment/anger cuz said feelings of abandonment cuz he doesn’t rmb F!Raph to have an attachment, tho he does occasionally feel a bit guilty sometimes for hanging out with Raph but that’s a comic for another time.

B) while Cj is a menace. He’s also a sensible and kind (everyone say thank you F!Mikey) menace who sees how stressed Raph gets trying to wrangle all 3 brothers and feels bad about adding more to his plate. And plus is also very much aware of his mortality and others mortality cuz apocalypse. So the menace only comes out during chill time. Not on missions. Misson wise he’s just like he is in the movie trying to get everyone to stay on track. Which Raph rlly appreciates. But even during chill time Cj is arguably the “calmer” one cuz that’s just how he is as a person. Tho that calmer is debatable cuz it’s by Raph’s skewed standards of his other siblings not normal ppl standards to normal ppl Case still looks unhinged lmao.

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but generally if they’re hanging out 1 on 1 (in a group setting it’s a whole diff story) Cj tries his best to not stress Raph too much. Unless the menace/cain instinct is hitting hard that day. Cuz he’s a sweet boy liek that. 😂. so they’re usually doing typical chill friend things, watching movies, sparring, sharing bout their day, . causally wandering around topside/Hidden city. With the undercurrent of Raph trade mark mother-henning and Cj depending on the circumstances either goes along with it or tries to get Raph to back off cuz it worries/irritates Cj. All in all they’re just your typical very wholesome older- younger brother dynamic

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Side note: Raph and Cj are honestly lowkey relieved their hangouts/dynamic are so chill. They love their family but man do they both need a break sometimes XD. For Junior it’s cuz seeing the dead not dead version of family plus struggle of grief/ juggling his expectations for said family is exhausting and having someone whose removed from that whole situation is like phew thank god. For Raph he’s just so glad he has a little brother/sibling/friend who doesn’t have a 95% chance of turning anything (even fricking ice) into a grease fire when left unsupervised unintentionally or not. Tho tbh causal theft, looser morals and gratuitous use of blackmail and occasional pranks may not be much better. Cj is truly his fathers son 😂

Snippet/Fic: The broken off branch

• some rambling rambles I can came up with thinking bout F!Mikey and P!Mikey from Cj’s pov. I didn’t rlly have a thing in mind for this, so my bad if it’s a little all over the place 😂😅 Just figured I might as well put this out there seeing as I ended up writing quite a bit for this anyways 😂

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Life always seemed to find a way to pull the ground out beneath him. Although in hindsight, Cj really should have known better. Logically speaking he knows the apocalypse had left a heavy toll on his family, changed them in ways that would not otherwise have naturally occured. He could see it in the free unrestrained way the youngers would clamber on top of each other, laughing, shouting, shoving, sometimes shaking. But nothing, could quite prepare him for the shift that was Michelangelo.

Master Michelangelo or Uncle Mi, sometimes dad, was the light, the warmth of the resistance, always there to lend a helping hand or be a shoulder to cry on. Able to calm anyone down no matter the heated the argument. Unwavering in his hope and optimism. “Tomorrow can always be a better day” he had said, calm, unhurried as ever, never one to raise his voice (unless you were a certain pair of disaster twins) and always taking great joy to speak in swirling riddles with a wink and a tired but twinkling smile. Privately Cj always thought Uncle Mi just enjoyed watching the confusion on people’s face rather than the riddles itself.

Casey thought he knew him. Thought he would be able to see strands of his Uncle in Mikey. Seeds of behaviour that under certain circumstances Cj could logically see how it blossom into the man he grew up under.

And the ravenette did, edges of the Doctor Feelings that sounded just a little too much like when Uncle Mi had to play mediator between pent up resistance members or stressed out siblings. The unwavering belief that tomorrow could always be a better day. It was all there but it came out wrong. Instead of a clear path he could see, from point a to point b, it was all warped, broken. As if someone had broken their bone and clumsily tried to splint it back togather. Once straight bones now crooked in alignment, it fit, but the roots was now broken and disjointed held together by broken joints where once strong, healthy and naturally branching roots should have been.

The sparking relentless energy Mikey carried as he bounced from one project to another, frantic hand gesturing and all about the murals he couldn’t wait to draw, the food he wanted to make, it all ran completely and utterly contrary to the calm and subtle mischief of his uncle. It seemed that out of everyone, the apocalypse had changed Michelangelo the most. Hacked away a core fundamental part of his being and beat into him a calmness and quietness what was once loud, vivid and booming.

And.. and it broke his heart. Left Cj feeling wrong footed and empty. How could he ever call himself Uncle Mi’s nephew, (much less his son ohgodpushitdown.) if he knew so so little of the man?

Even Leo for all his showboating had a sharp wit, protectiveness and sense of humour that run identical to his sensei. Donnie kept his stiff dramatic abeit much more prideful attitude than his Uncle tello but nevertheless just as loving and April remained a fiercely tenacious, resourceful and steadfast pillar. Frankly, it was more uncanny how little she changed. Even Cassandra, for little as he remembered his mother had remained a relentless, barreling force. Albeit more subdued. And Drax was as no nonsense and reluctantly affectionate as ever, though he was a tad bit better at showing he cares in Cj’s time than the present.

What happened to you? Is this what the Apocalypse would have done to you? Is this what having to raise me had done to you?

(“But you promised you’d come hang out with me today! You promised!”

The greying turtle stares down at the faded ball beside his feet and then to the pile of well-read magazines to the corner. A cloud passes across his face. Dark, considering. He wants, Ancestors, does Mikey want. But his brain feels like mush and his limbs heavy like lead. “I’m so sorry big man.” He smiles quietly at the disappointed 8 year old. His facial muscles already aching from that small exertion alone. “Maybe next time k’ay? Uncle Mi is feeling real tired today.”

The cloud does not dissipate.)

Can you mourn for a version of someone who never existed, has never existed and now will never exist again?

A smaller, much scalier hand reaches out from the corner of his eyes.

“Cj, Ceej? You good? I’ve been calling for you for the past 5 minutes.”

He was? Shit. Jerking upwards, the ravenette tears his eyes away from a wall he didn’t know he was staring at and angles his face towards the turtle hovering by the subway car entrance. Was the-his room (and wasn’t that’s a concept that still took getting used to?) always so dark? Man was he really just sitting in the dark staring off into space for who knows how long until Michelangelo-Mikey found him? Jeezus Talk about embarrassing.

“I’m good. I’m good. I Promise.” Casey nods quickly. “Sorry for spacing out.”

“Are you sure..?” The box turtles eyes dart nervously back and forth from Cj to the floor then to the Cj again. “Can I.. come in?”

Ok, he takes it back. There is one thing Uncle Mi and Mikey were identical in. They both treated him so carefully sometimes. Actually, now that he thinks about it, the whole gang, save Draxum and Cassandra, treats him so carefully sometimes it made him want to scream.

“Ye-es. Mikey.” Casey rolls his eyes annoyed, but still making sure to smile to let the fellow fifteen year old know it was all in good fun.

“Oh. Well Oki-doki then~!” Mikey beams, skipping into the train car. Immediately plopping himself beside the empty space next to Cj and leaning against him. Casey grins in response, welcoming the contact.

“Wait..” The orange turtle’s eyes narrow suspiciously at a corner just a little to the boy’s right. “ARE THOSE MY STICKERS ?!”

A light bubbling sensation tickles his chest. Foreign but not unwelcome. “Are they? I don’t know what you’re talking about ” The teen smirks.

“Case! You can’t keep stealing mine!”

He blows a raspberry.

Mikey lunges forward.

Laughing, Casey dances out the way. “You can’t be mad at me! I’m from the apocalypse!” The human singsongs as he makes a beeline for the exit.

“You can’t keep using that card forever!”

“I can! And I will !”

Maybe it was all wrong. Maybe the war and the apocalypse had dug its fangs into his beloved Uncle and he came out a little more distorted than he would have liked. But here in this space, under the safety of the earth that should have long collapsed before Cj was even born, he watches his uncle sometimes-teacher-sometimes-father, now turned brother chase him through the lair. And thinks maybe just maybe, his uncle would have thought this hacking away worth it, if the world and by extension, Casey himself could continue to have moments like this too.

The kids ref:

P.S: training started as early as five (if the kid made it that long) this is cuz, even if they never made it to the frontlines ( if they got older they were allowed to specialised elsewhere like mechanic work, physical trauma care, full on wilderness training to be a scout etc etc. not everyone was a soldier ) first aid, wilderness, combat skills were essential for obvious reasons.

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Of course it first started out as very kid friendly games like ninja hide and seek and what not. Basically, think of their training as their version of our education. Also I didn’t include this but all the kids were taught to read and write as part of that training. Literacy is importance guys!

Some miscellaneous doodles for the soul cuz life is kinda lifeing rn 😅

Also possible vigilante oc oh??👀👀

Inexperienced.

Sneak peak 2-!

Behold the scenes that kept playing in my brain that made want to do this entire thing in the first place 😂 it’s not done obvi but these are the main bits lol

I’m really proud of myself it turned out way better than I thought haha.

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for some context have this:

Growing pains:

Tis the aftermath of the incident | Next >

Oiling gears and Changing shifts: Part 2,<Next!>

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Oo looks like things are heating up👀

Also rip my ability to draw Donnie he’s so hard to draw for me 😭