If He Loved Me, Then Why Would He Give Me This Life?! Like, I Was Fine When I Was Non-sentient, Dude,

Sisters, our husband is back from the war, alive and whole!!!

"And now it's time to pay the price..."

An archaeologist stumbles into a forgotten ruin. After reading the gliphs on the wall, a bright light fills the room. A voice says “I was beginning to wonder if your kind had forgotten the safe word! Time to refresh and relax” and instantly the world begins to get better.

Relatability level:- new high score unlocked

Do you also feel like you always make a complete fool of yourself causing everyone who knows you to hate you or are you normal?

Please help me find this snippet I came across a few years ago:

A young knight finds an eldritch being sitting on a throne in a palace in ruins

He makes a deal with it

Several years later, he goes back to it to pay the price

The price turns out to be that he should take its place, or something like that. But he doesn't know that because it's cryptically phrased

Then he turns into an eldritch being and he feels tired to his bones

It turns out that he was the being all along and now he is somehow stuck in a time loop

The story ends with him making a deal with his younger self

call him jesus the way i make him bred and whine

HELP

He's back!

And my dad and granny too

very suspicious how I will say “why can’t they be friends” but ONLY when it’s a straight ship.

very suspicious how a large sum of people will say “why can’t they be friends” but ONLY when it’s a queer ship.

Boop meeeee!!!!!