Idk What Was In That Sleep But Im FUCKED UP Rn (i'm Heavily Dissociated)

i failed my math final because i:

1. didn't understand half the material in the class and none of the material on the test (i have asked for help in the past but the teacher didn't offer anything that ended up working)

2. lost track of time and started panicking about how much time i had left

3. none of the words or equations were processing correctly and i kept mixing up formulas and problems

just to add: the same dog tried to run away yesterday as well when we were taking in groceries so obviously shes on a rebellious streak but noooo its my fault for being upset about being right

me: if you let the dogs go in without their leashes, they're gonna run away

my mom: no they won't

a dog: *tries to run away*

my mom: i cant believe this happened

i have absolutely top notch physical and mental health, don't worry about me *kicks away insomnia and depressive episodes as well as a recent hearing problems* i'm feeling perfectly fine

okay so i bombed the algebra test(s) and probably failed the class but Spanish went well :D

i have two tests that i am undoubtedly going to bomb tomorrow and i had to plan my outfit around not having to say a color in Spanish and so that it's less visible when i'm sobbing over my math test :)

the gifted kid aspect of the american school system has ruined me because now i hold all my self worth to my grades and when i don't understand something in a class the missing assignments pile up because it's so much easier to take a zero from missing assignments than it is to take a zero for not understanding when your whole life and self worth is built on you understanding everything

live laugh love ao3, just muted someone for having the worst take on a character i've ever seen ❤️❤️❤️

i made a new character and some devious little part of my brain went "you know what would be fun? killing one of her sons :)" and im not gonna lie its really tempting

so if i wrote a mha world heroes mission rewrite with slight rodydeku and a language barrier, would anyone read that? or just me? i mean i'm doing it regardless, i just want to know if there's an audience.

i had a dream that i went to dinner with my girlfriend and her family and they didn't like me but i also vividly remember not understanding their social queues whatsoever so i couldn't tell that they didn't like me until they started talking shit about me to my face

also this one guy that's kinda just been following me around in my dreams was there and offered me a seat at his table

hey did you know in the spectacular spider-man show, peter and mary jane have a 'open relationship' and both go on dates with other people and in one instance mary jane actually encourages gwen stacy to go on a date with peter

i just think it's neat :)