Juliet: If You Love Something, Set It Free

I know Lassiter would like to think he’s reasonable, serious, and normal but his life to anyone else’s ears sounds so wacky and full of hijinks

We can bring up the small things like the fact he reenacts war battles, has mommy and daddy issues, or had a fling with a colleague, but there is also the facts that he works with a psychic, has so many guns in his house the police couldn’t find them all, had gotten in a relationship with a woman who is in jail after her brother tried to steal his blood, tap dances to relax and solve murders, set up a bomb on a car as a distraction for the mentioned psychic, has a murder- I mean suspect board in his own home, would plant evidence on his ex-wife’s new boyfriend, is pansexual, has encouraged his colleague to breakup with the twice previously mentioned psychic, has offered to set up that colleague with another woman in prison, refused to tell anyone about extreme amounts of blood loss, went fishing with Henry Spencer, has shot at a donut mascot after being drugged, gave colleague and psychic knives (not of the kitchen variety) as a housewarming gift, threw himself a party (banner included) for solving a case, cut the umbilical cord off of his boss’s baby, has chased previously mentioned psychic’s best friend through his apartment building with a sword after once again being drugged, immediately assumed he slept with the coroner, psychic, and psychic’s best friend after waking up from a night of drinking spooning the coroner, has gotten the nickname detective dipstick, is definitely a conspiracy theorist in a government cover up and apocalyptic kind of way, has the most glorious chest hair (not really relevant but I just want to bring it up), and is weird about his car.

here are my favorite real things that happen on person of interest

the ai is lesbian coded

the main guy reese is widely known as "the kneecap guy" because he shoots people's kneecaps out

the other main guy finch lives in a library. reese at one point gives him a dog. the dog eats books. reese is aware of this when he gifts the dog

they kidnap a baby and then have to raise it for an episode

reese gets two cops who are partners to do things for him but refuses to tell each one about the other person, so joss (played by taraji p henson) and fusco (this is actually his name) spend an entire season going "john I think they're onto me. I think they suspect i'm working for you." and he just goes "don't worry about it". he does this entirely to fuck with them

the show's evil hot lesbian villain root threatens to torture the show's bisexual sociopath shaw with an iron. it is their meetcute

at one point the dog in question is being used to threaten reese’s life. so they adopt it. fusco has a ball gag on during this scene

the dog eats a first edition isaac asimov

the cia and the fbi have a turf war

the cia and fbi both completely fail to capture this one dude, whose name and face they know, for two years

some fucking guy spends an entire season trying to take down the mafia while fucking with the duo and then when he goes to jail one of them just straight up plays chess with him weekly

the aforementioned evil hot lesbian root tries to kidnap and almost kills finch in the first episode they meet. she becomes a main character

shaw and root steal reese's grenade launcher

reese's backstory is that he straight up killed a man for domestically abusing his ex

one of them gets drugged on ecstacy and dances to a microwave about to explode

they live in a subway basement for a year

the creator of the lesbian coded ai has entirely bird aliases

Flight Attendant: Please make sure all small items are secure!

Hardison: *grabs Eliot next to him and holds him tightly against his chest*

Hardison: Do you feel secure?

Eliot: I will hit you.

Forgot the word "apostrophe," could only remember the Psych joke, and straight-up googled the phrase "God's comma" to jog my memory.

The horses in his brain are not ok

I want to implant Shawn and Gus into every media I watch they just have that immense power to seamlessly fit in and inevitably elevate whatever is going on. it literally wouldn't matter it could be a post-apocalyptic wasteland and Shawn would still show up at the survivor camp wearing shades drinking from a pineapple like "wow this place is sadder than Gus's dating life in high school" and Gus would be all "the water here isn't even being boiled properly Shawn. I'm not staying at this camp I will not be getting dysentery I'm already fighting my sciatica flare-up" and all the people at the camp would be like "what the actual fuck" as Shawn and Gus walk off bickering into the distance and disappear

There’s a fun game that team red like to play called suit roulette were they each traded suits for a week and have to fight the others villains.

Spider-Man’s villains are all highly concerned and keep asking if he’s ok cause Matt just isn’t talking at all and they are used to banter

Peter has managed to make friends with a bunch of Deadpool’s villains after chatting with them and promising not to kill them if they stopped being ‘bad guys’ because it’s ‘just not cool anymore’

And Daredevils villains are just all ducking confused at why the hell he’s not even fighting back (Wade is literally just standing there letting them stab and shoot him whilst chatting about his life- he’s using them as free therapy)

Everyday I think about how easy it would have been for Stargate SG1 to make a cheap drama grab love triangle between Sam, Jack, and Daniel and everyday I am so very fucking grateful that they didn't

OMG IT'S BOB