My September

i think my key issue with the sanitization of death eater characters is that it feels like people do not see their stories as tragic or empathize with the characters until we have a hc that's like "actually they were morally good the whole time!"

regulus black and severus snape are tragic characters and child soldiers no matter what side they were "really" on. even barty crouch jr, who may not have been groomed into being a death eater, is tragic when you spend a second to consider his relationship with his father. there are plenty of death eaters who we know are taking after their fathers in joining the cult. lucius malfoy, who was a prefect when the marauders enter hogwarts, most likely spread the death eater ideology, since the ideology is just a more extreme version/logical endpoint of what already existed in the wizarding world.

to me, these ideas are not headcanons, because they are heavily implied by the text. when jkr mentions malfoy in the deathly hallows that is not for no reason.

mallfoy's acceptance of snape and position of power are both highlighted in this sentence. we can infer that snape felt a sense of community for the first time in Slytherin. with malfoy as a prefect we can infer that the culture of Slytherin house lifted up bigots and those with an important family name.

this is a culture that breeds more bigotry. we know that Dumbledore did not step in to stop this cultural development in the 90s, after already seeing what it could do!!! so we can infer that he did not in the 70s. so a bunch of children were left alone in an echo chamber of hate. of course some of them became fanatics!!!

this doesn't mean they shouldn't be held accountable. but we cannot expect children to overcome cultural and political hegemony all alone. like.... that's just not how the world works. and it's tragic that children are fodder for fascist's wars, especially when the fact that the children were abused or neglected makes them more vulnerable to be fodder.

regulus and severus weren't treated as people, their humanity was denied by the fascist they served, bc that's how fascism works. exploring their characters as they are in canon, with full humanity, without needing to change their stories to see that humanity, is much more interesting to me. it is much more in the spirit of redemption and restoration.

something endearing about Snape

Something i’ve been kind of mulling over and thinking about in regards to Snape– and which I find frustrating, but endearing– is how… he is continually disadvantaged and disregarded by systems of power and persons of authority… but he chooses to work within their framework, anyways. 

Snape is Lawful-neutral, to his own detriment. Hear me out.

Like, as a student, he gets bullied. It’s 4 against 1, and he’d have a hard time picking them off if he wanted to go a more aggressive or lethal route. In any case, he tends to be reactionary, rather than necessarily going out of his way to find and attack them… So, he tries to get them expelled, because that would be a way to remove all 4 of his threats at once, and it’s not as if they don’t consistently break the rules… Shouldn’t people who break the rules and mistreat others be punished? So when he’s almost lead to his death at the Shrieking Shack, he appeals to the system of authority (of whom Dumbledore is the purveyor, in this case) with what he feels is a pretty airtight case against his bullies… 

…and he gets written off, and blackmailed into keeping his mouth shut.

If it were me, that kind of slap in the face would ensure i never respected another authority figure again in my life tbh. The Law and the gods that govern it would be dead to me. Anyways…

Being a werewolf does not inherently make Lupin a bad person. But being a good person does not make Lupin inherently safe. The point is: when you transform into a werewolf, you lose control of yourself, and that can result in you killing, maiming, or infecting other people. Lupin knows this. He’s known it for over 20 years,

As of 1993, there was this great new discovery: the Wolfsbane Potion, which helps to curb the effects of lycanthropy, right? It’s super expensive and super hard to make, but it’s an effective way to mitigate the more vicious effects of a transformation– it turns the drinker into a harmless wolf, rather than a werewolf, at the time of the full moon. A wolf, who is easier to control or subdue if one is confronted with it, and who seems to retain some semblence of control during the transformation (Lupin having described himself as curling up in his office during his transformations).

You may be thinking that wolfsbane potion is the closest thing to a preventative  that the Wizarding World has circa 1993, and you’d be right. It’s not a cure, and people who drink it can still infect others, but damn, it makes it way more manageable.

We know that Severus, on more than one occasion, goes out of his way to give Lupin his potion (whether Lupin continually forgets to take it, or purposefully “forgets” to take it as a small power play/intimidation game against Snape is up for interpretation). Either way, we know that Lupin regularly forgets to take the life-changing potion unless prompted, which kind of makes him out as reckless. A timebomb. 

Severus, who is not only a virtuoso on the Dark Arts and all that it entails (and thus, academically, very informed on the dangers that (non-medicated) Werewolves pose), is also intimately and personally aware of the threat Lupin poses to a school full of children as well as the staff, because of his experience in the 70s. Snape brings all of this up to Dumbledore… 

…who repeatedly dismisses his well-founded and logical fears. 

Snape is still beholden to Dumbledore’s insistance that he keep his mouth shut. Which he does for most of the year. The very explicit parameters of the system are: do not tell anyone that Lupin is a werewolf. 

So, being the logical thinker that Snape is, he looks for (and finds) a way to achieve his desired outcome (informing people that Lupin is a werewolf) in a way that does work within those parameters. He can’t tell anyone outright that Lupin is a werewolf, but like… what if someone figured it out on their own?

Then we have Snape in the Shrieking Shack with the kids, Sirius, and Lupin. 

Harry, in the moment after Black disarmed them all, straight-up wanted to kill Sirius. He gets his wand back, and he is about to fucking murder this guy, until crookshanks sits over his heart.

Snape comes up the stairs to the 2nd floor of the shack, right? He’s wearing the Invisibility cloak. No one knows he’s there or hears him coming. He could have killed Sirius in an instant, without anyone knowing. He could kill Sirius AND Lupin if he wanted to, and dump the corpses on the ministry steps, and convince the minister that he had deduced that they were working together months ago. 

He could easily explain to the minister that he knew they were childhood friends, that Lupin started working at Hogwarts at the exact same time Black “wanted to infiltrate” Hogwarts, and that his speculations were dismissed. He could say all of this with the kids and Dumbledore to corroborate his story (since he arrives at the Shrieking Shack BEFORE the kids get the low-down on Pettigrew) and he would STILL get his order of Merlin (maybe 2?) But instead of killing them… 

…he disarms and restrains them. 

He’s like “Yeah, I’m handing you off to the Dementors, dickhead” but it’s important to remember… he disarms them, restrains them, and is willing to turn them over to the “authorities.” Even though, at this point, he whole-heartedly believes that 1. Black is a murderer, who killed like 23 people, and who broke out of wizard prison and 2. Lupin, a werewolf who has consistently not taken his potion and whom Snape believes has conspired to kill him in the past, is aiding and abetting said murderer… Severus Snape does not take the law into his own hands. He’s not about Vigilante Justice.

And… he gets disarmed, thrown against a wall, and almost ends up attacked by a werewolf for it later. heh

This is just up to the first 3 books, because i just finished re-reading them, but i’m certain there are more examples of these types of exchange in subsequent books. In any case, I love how the books have this consistent theme of “Harry distrusts authority, disrespects it, and challenges the system,” that’s all very good. 

But i also love that Severus Snape, the dude that everyone argues is super unfair, petty, spiteful, etc… attempts to use strategic thinking to operate within the paramaters of these systems, and tries to maintain respect for these systems, and consistently gets his ass handed to him for it. I love you, you lawful-neutral dumbass. 

SK8 NEWS?????? WE FINALLY GOT A RELEASE DATE!!!

SK8 COMMUNITY WAKE UP NOT A DRILL

Capcom try not to make every single one of their couples incredibly tragic challenge (impossible)

day 6: it still bleeds ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

they go to the gym together idfk

Everyone Dreams of Going to Hogwarts

Every fan of Harry Potter has indulged in the fantasy of waiting for an Owl to deliver the fateful letter that will declare your future as a witch or wizard at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. Every one of us old or young had dreamed of riding the train at Kings Cross Station, taking the boats across the black lake and seeing the castle for the first time, of having dinner in the great hall, of finally figuring out where you belong in the world and it just feeling right. They fantasize about seeing their common room for the first time finally feeling that warm sense of belonging and meeting the friends that you will keep for the rest of your life. Every single one of us had fantasized about meeting our professors, exploring the grounds and discovering our latent potential. It’s a comfort for many of us and happy place to go in our minds to escape reality.

For the witches and wizards of the Wizarding World that childhood fantasy is their reality. They too wait with bated breath for their letters. They too fantasize about finally feeling that “at home” feeling, the feeling that you finally belong to something bigger and more wonderful than their wildest dreams. The chance to prove themselves. The chance to start over for many, the chance to leave their sometimes abusive homes for a place that finally actually feels like home to them. Harry was one of those people. Dumbledore was one of those people. Hermione, Ron and even Neville all find this sense of belonging sooner or later. They all find their forever home at Hogwarts the way we all dream.

Now imagine being Seveurs Snape.

You live in a house with a father that doesn’t understand you and screams and yells at you and your mother on a daily basis and you feel so alone in the world. You have one peer who appreciates in you the magic that allows you to rise above the squaller and cruelty in which you live. You have one friend who sees you for who you are and appreciates that about you truly, while being forced to inhabit a world that not only doesn’t understand you but is actually often openly hostile to you. Hogwarts, you beleive, will be your escape from this hell, and best of all you get to take this wonderful friend with you. You are being whisked away to a fairy tale castle where dreams come true and you will finally feel safe and finally feel a real sense of home. You stay up all night all week waiting by the door in the early morning for the letter that is finally going to change your life. You pour over it with your best friend, going over every aspect of this incredible opportunity in your mind over and over. You’re planning how you’ll make the most of it. You finally let yourself look forward to something, to open your heart to something, to dream of something. Your greatest hearts desire to this moment is finally coming true.

Then you get on the train.

And the hell begins before the first day has ever even started. Your friend is angry at you for something entirely out of your control, and even though you make up destiny has deigned that on this day you will meet the person that will destroy any hope you ever entertained of Hogwarts being a home at all. His name is James Potter. His partners in the crimes which will forever change your life are Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black. From the moment you meet you are ridiculed by them, physically abused by them, and the worst part is from this day forward it is never going to end.

Your best friend is put not just in a different house but in the house that hates your house the most, and from this day forward you will forever have a strain on the only true friendship you’ve ever had. From this day forward you will have to meet them either in secret or at least in private to avoid angering both your houses at best and facing ridicule at worst. The moments you stole with this friend in the muggle hell will ironically be the only moments of peace you’ll truly have with them. Not only that, but they are sorted into the same house that 4 of your worst tormentors reside in.

But it’s even worse. Because although at home you can escape form your father and potential school bullies by hiding yourself away in some nook or cranny, making yourself scarce, staying out late at night in the woods or just being as quiet as possible; you will never be able to escape the torment that now awaits every day. You have classes with them, you run into them, you see them trying to take away the only friend you have every day. And it doesn’t even end there, now they have a tracking device that you don’t know about, but somehow they manage to find you no matter where you hide. No matter where you go they are somehow always there. No matter who you talk to, they all act like you’re crazy. Because none of the other professors or students know about the marauders map they find you strange for jumping at every blow of the wind. Because they don’t know about the map they don’t believe you at all when you try to explain that somehow James Potter and his gang seem to pop up conveniently every single place you go to hide and they even blame you for trying to figure out how to protect yourself. They tell you you’re bringing it on yourself for being too weird or too jumpy or too nosy. Even your best friend in the world is starting to doubt you. You feel like you’re going insane.

So you try to have your tormentors expelled. You try so hard to figure out something, anything that will end the days on end of suffering and abuse. But you’re the weird kid. You’re the ugly kid. You’re the emo goth kid. Nobody gives a shit about you and you know it. You know you’re on your own. You’re a half blood, so the the people in your house who were supposed to have your back ignore you at best and tease you about it at worst for letting Gryffindor students get the best of you. Any hope you had of Hogwarts being your home has been destroyed.

So you try to follow James and The Gang around. Yes everyone sees you as creepy for this, becusse you don’t have a map that magically tells you where they will be at all times. You have to go about it the old fashioned way. You hide behind bushes, you peak around corners. Yes everyone finds you creepy now on top of everything else, but it’ll be worth it if you can finally enjoy what was promised to you at age 11, a home. You’ll finally be able to breathe.

But no. Instead what happens is your tormentors figure out that you know that they are putting the lives of students in danger by wandering the grounds with a werewolf against the wishes of the headmaster. You know that if you can just prove it that the torment will be over, but what you don’t know is that they are one step ahead of you, and for the unimaginable crime of trying to thwart them; they are going to plan to inflict a dangerous illness of lycanthropy on you at best, maul you to death at worst. You are close to both your proof and your death when one of them gets cold feet at the last minute and decides he doesn’t in fact want to go to prison.

You think “maybe it’s finally over now”, “maybe everyone will see now that they are cruel, that this is what they’re really like”, “maybe I’ll finally get a moment of peace, maybe Dumbledore and Lily will finally beleive me”. But no. Of course not. Because remember, you’re the weird emo Slytherin kid and your life is secondary. It always has been. Dumbledore swears you to secrecy to protect one of your tormentors, so you get no justice for the attempt on your life. Because Dumbledore had forbidden you to speak about your traumatic experience of almost being murdered, your best friend doesn’t beleive you at all and instead blames you for sneaking around. They don’t even give you the chance to defend or explain yourself. Instead you’re made out to be the creepy bad guy who wants to destroy the Potter Gang out of jealously.

Worst of all you secretly suspect that your best friend has a thing for the person who makes your life a living hell every single day. You see the stolen glances and the way they look at each other, the way she is never totally on your side. You tell yourself that this is all in your head, that Lily would never betray you that way. That all the hours you spent dreaming of Hogwarts together will mean more than a crush. But oh, sadly you are very wrong there too.

Not even a few months after attempting to take your life your abusers are back at again. Remorseless as ever they hunt you down like dogs and follow your every footstep. You haven’t a moment of peace even to do your normal school work. The only place you are safe is your common room, and even then you can’t let your guard down.

Then one day it happens.

The little pieces of happiness that you’ve managed to tuck away from yourself are cruelly ripped away. They manage to find you again. The torment us as usual. They all gang up on you, each taking a go for their own amusement. They fling you on your back, force you to vomit, force you to listen to their emotional abuse while they make a go at hitting on your best friend, and the torment does not end there. Now they are picking you up off the ground and taking off your clothes. Now on top of every other humiliation they have amused themselves by sexually humiliating you in front of everyone in your class including your closest ally. Every part of you is on fire inside and out and the depth of horror and hurt inside you is so big you don’t know what to do with the feeling. Then your friend finally steps in. But now you’re so hurt and angry that it’s bursting out of you in the worst possible ways.

Now the worst thing finally happens.

You call your best friend a slur; something you know will hurt them more than any other thing, because you’re destroyed, because you’re angry at them for letting it get this far, because you’re humiliated and because you’re tired of not being held in a higher regard than the person who has ruined your life; because you’re sick of their moralizing and their pitty.

Now you’ve lost the only person you’ve ever really felt close to. Now you’ve lost any human sympathy forever.

And it’s not over yet. Now you’re upside down again. And this time they aren’t content with exposing the rest of your body for the world to see. Now they are out for blood, and the revenge they have settled on is Sexual Assault. They remove your underwear to expose your most private parts to the world and there is nothing you can do about it. Nowhere you can go. No one who cares. No one who will come to your rescue.

Snape must have felt so hopeless it’s a wonder he didn’t try to end his life. People have done so over much less.

Hogwarts was never truly a home for Severus Snape. Even in adulthood he works in the place that was the site of innumerable traumas and heartaches. Everyday he faces trigger after trigger of the worst day of his life, while protecting the progeny of the only person he ever felt close to and the person who cruelly ripped away any chance he had at normal life. This is why I feel for Severus Snape so much in every scene. He is confronted every day with the worst memories a person can endure yet he chooses to be brave anyway. He chooses to do the right thing anyway. He puts other people’s well-being first anyway. He chooses the side of the light beyond all that had conspired to make a sociopath out of him. He holds a place in his heart for love and he protects that love with his entire being. Platonic love is just as powerful as romantic love and Severus Snape is the perfect example of this. A person even in the worst circumstances can still make the most difference in the world, can still choose to be their own person and make their own choices. Even when the world is wholly against him, Severus Snape is the pinnacle of integrity.

This is why he’s my favorite character. He’s the bravest character in the narrative, but he’s also the character with the most integrity.

cooking is always better with a friend

Comfort

aand thats it! might do another batch of these another time but heres all i got of this for now, hope yall liked it lol

day 18: once upon a time ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

Danganronpa x Ace Attorney crossover