How Is 'The Last Of The Wine' Going?

honestly the word "paris" now wounds me, i cannot handle this 😭

The heather in bloom

Get to know me meme

tagged by @rottenlaertes! thank you!

do you make your bed? sometimes yes, sometimes no

what’s your favourite number? Four!

what is your job? I graduated college and don’t have one yet

if you could go back to school would you? yes, i really liked school and i kinda miss the routine and structure of it

can you parallel park? no, i can’t at all

a job you had that would surprise people? all of my old jobs were terribly predictable actually so i can’t answer this

do you think aliens are real? yes, i think it’s very improbable that we’re the only ones in the entire universe but i don’t think our conception of them might be very accurate what with the green skin and huge eyes etc

can you drive a manual car? no, i can't

what’s your guilty pleasure? i can’t think of one because if i ever feel this way, i try to ignore it until it goes away bc it kinda makes me feel bad to feel this way about other people's work

tattoos? no, but I’d like to get some! I bounce around between ideas but whatever i think of is always small and has some religious value.

favourite colour? I really like green and red (specifically 'wine-dark’)

favourite type of music? I don’t have one but I think I listen to pop music mostly

do you like puzzles? I haven’t done a puzzle in years, so the answer here will also be I don’t know, sorry lol

any phobias? bugs and heights

favourite childhood sport? i liked playing badminton growing up

do you talk to yourself? i do, i like to read out loud and reiterate the ideas behind what i’ve read so through hearing i can understand more, especially with texts that are really convoluted. and this might be a little weird but if i get really excited about a book i start talking to it like the character can hear me (when i was reading the charioteer, i actually audibly said: ‘laurie we are not going to do this please stop’ during the adrian scene and ‘wait, what happened, tell me what happened’ when i realised the ellipses were concealing something in chapter two lol)

what movie(s) do you adore? I’m not a big movie person, but fellowship of the ring is the perfect nostalgic summer afternoon movie for me

coffee or tea? coffee!

first thing you wanted to be growing up? I’ve always wanted to be a writer!

I have no idea who to tag! but if you guys would like @nurseadriansbrother, @argyleheir I'd love to read your responses (and i'm sorry if you've already been tagged in this and i'm bothering you with it again) and ofc anyone else who wants to!

“Oh Rascal Children of Gaza,” by Palestinian poet, Khaled Juma, 2014

The Water-Lily Pond by Claude Monet (1899)

The TE Lawrence quote ‘Sacrifice uplifts the redeemer and casts down the bought’ – you mentioned that it might be a clue to how Alec/Ralph’s relationship ended.  I wondered what your thoughts are on this?  I can never work out if it is that Alec wants to ‘look after Ralph’ or doesn’t want Ralph to ‘look after him’.  I mean, a bit of both I’m sure, but I still wonder what it looks like? And also, how was it reading that cliffhanger ending for the first time?

So, my whole idea comes from the fact that Alec and Ralph seem somewhat similar in personality to me. I got the impression that both wanted to take some responsibility; Ralph in literally everything, and Alec in a relationship...about the T.E. Lawrence quote: full disclaimer, I haven’t read the book it's from. I'm probably way off base, but just on its own, the quote to me came across as: complex men understand that sacrifice uplifts the one who partakes in it, and casts down the one for whom it is done. The first redeems the second, but the second will always be beneath the first; he is ‘bought’ (i.e. indebted) and also ‘cast down.’ When it’s mentioned by Alec, I assumed he was referring both to himself and Ralph as being those ‘complex men’ who also 'sacrifice.’ There was also a direct mention of Sandy prior to it being brought up, so I linked the whole thing both to Alec’s relationship (and impression) of Ralph (who he says is ‘complex’ but remains innocent about it), along with his relationship to Sandy (who I assume is the one ‘bought’).

So, the way I read it was: Alec identifies himself as a ‘complex man' who understands the implication of being the one to sacrifice for another person; he identifies Ralph as such a complex man too, but seems annoyed that Ralph doesn't understand that the people for whom he sacrifices are inevitably 'cast down' and 'bought.' He maintains an innocence about things in general and this bothers Alec. Later on, Alec obviously says that Ralph never let him do anything in their relationship, so I made a leap and connected this comment to the quote and came away with a vague idea that in their relationship Ralph probably would’ve been the one who 'sacrificed’ and Alec would’ve been the one who was ‘cast down,’ i.e. Alec was expected to depend on Ralph, who took all responsibility while Alec was never allowed to fulfil any similar role; Ralph never let himself depend on Alec, or let him help in any way. This would’ve been an inherently unequal relationship and I don't think Alec would've liked it (because again, I see him as similar to Ralph in the sense he wants responsibility; he himself also says most of their arguments resulted from Ralph's inability to just let him help or do anything).

Re the cliffhanger: the first time I read it, it did a number on me…I didn’t much understand it, because I was rushing to get through and see what happened with Ralph. When I finally got to the end, and read ‘I should’ve had to come back,’ I was honestly...flabbergasted, I think is the correct word? I didn’t realise that Laurie was lying, so it seemed the sweetest thing in the world. I remember the whole day after I finished the book, I kept thinking about those words and wondering what happened! The last paragraph seemed to indicate a happy ending (I read it like three times over lol), but I hated how abrupt it all was. It wasn't until some time had passed that I actually started to liked the abruptness. Also, it really made me want to read the Phaedrus!

Psyche entering Cupid’s Garden, 1903, John William Waterhouse

Medium: oil,canvas

“I drink dew for wine, and hearken to The voices of the birds, and dance To the rhythmic swaying of the grass.

I am the lover’s gift; I am the wedding wreath; I am the memory of a moment of happiness; I am the last gift of the living to the dead; I am a part of joy and a part of sorrow.

But I look up high to see only the light, And never look down to see my shadow. This is wisdom which man must learn.”

- Song of the Flower by Khalil Gibran

it’s wilfred owen’s 131st birthday today and idk about you but it’s really important to me in particular

have you ever thought about how any normal person being introduced to the shadow world would probably rather be a vampire or werewolf than a shadowhunter? it's a little funny considering they all think they're better than downworlders but "I'll be young and beautiful forever without hunting things that'll kill me" is just objectively a better job description lol