Why Couldn't It Just Be That Jem Saw Jessie Get Belial's Marks Stripped Off Of Him And That's What He

Soooo.....The Charioteer? What did you think of it?

I thought it was great! I loved the use of subtext and the non-straightforward way it was written. I know from other Renault books I’ve read that she has a kind of writing style that isn’t always simple or easy, but I don’t ever remember it being this tricky. I had to go back and reread so many scenes in this one but it never bothered me. I thought it was so cool, especially the second chapter!

In terms of the characters, I loved Laurie although I didn't quite understand his relationship with his mother. But I did understand his love for both Ralph and Andrew, because I loved them both too. I think showcasing Andrew’s morals and also his moral-rigidity was an interesting angle and I really saw in him what Laurie did: a sweet young man whose whole life was devoted to notions of love, kindness and sacrifice. I understand why hitting Bunny would’ve driven him to London: he spent his whole life adhering to a very specific code of conduct, which is based on certain principles, and in a moment he betrayed them all. And through that betrayal, he discovered something about himself which drove him further away still... I don’t think Andrew will have a very easy road ahead for the foreseeable future, even if he outlives the war. I’m really happy Laurie gave him the Phaedrus and I can’t get the quote 'even the most exalted paganism is paganism nonetheless’ out of my head. I didn't dislike Dave at all, but now that I think about some of the conversation he had with Laurie and his own history, it makes me more worried about Andrew :( I loved Ralph! — he was someone Laurie could be open with completely, with whom he never had to hide. He was also just generally more suited to him. I remember when Charlot was dying, and Laurie thought ‘Ralph would understand’ after Andrew refuses to impersonate a priest: because he would! Ralph doesn’t see the world like Andrew does, he doesn’t think there is only ever wrong or right and nothing else whatever. He was a soldier, like Laurie and understands necessity. It’s true, he can be a little unkind in some places (like his annoyance with Sandy when he’s hurt himself) and also very snappish, but I think Laurie balances him out well by the end of the book. I think it's easier for him to be more vulnerable and openly kind when he's around Laurie. It was very sweet of him to come to the wedding, simply because Laurie mentioned being uncomfortable at giving his mother away. All in all, I can honestly say I was heartbroken when Laurie rejected Ralph and just as heartbroken when he accepts he will never see Andrew again. The ending made me happy though, and even though I know there’s still some years of the war left and some wrinkles in their dynamic, I envision an ultimate happy ending for Ralph and Laurie.

I'm sorry if this is a lot more than what you were asking for, but I'm so excited about this book and haven't stopped thinking about it! Honestly, I think I need to read it again to better take it in and understand it! There are lots of other elements and themes I want to revisit so I can more clearly get a grasp on their place in the story. But anyway, thanks for the question!

we never actually got to see Alastair and Elias interact on their own... why

'Norah' by Sir Samuel Luke Fildes (british, 1844-1927)

mary oliver, i wake close to morning

So I wanted to ask you a bit more about Bunny and Ralph and their ‘domestic ménage’!  I find it weird too.  It’s never really clear, they seem to speak in code, then there is the separate kettles thing, that freaked me out when I noticed it, and that weird ‘Bunny’s gone’ except that he hasn’t, and then Ralph ‘Do you feel like believing that?’  What do you think is going on there…….

Honestly, I have no idea! I was very meh the first time I read about their relationship (before the car scene, of course) because I was convinced that Laurie was just blowing it all out of proportion. It seemed to me to be a casual relationship: stuff like the separate kettles, Ralph having his own apartment (even though Bunny lives downstairs), etc. all formed this idea in my mind that they were just messing around and weren't anything really serious. Now, I don’t think that’s true anymore but I’m no more clear on the intricacies of their relationship than I was before. Ralph certainly doesn’t seem to respect Bunny and Alec seems to agree that he’s not suited to him (which Laurie reiterates through his constant questioning of how Ralph can stand him). But other than that, I’ve no idea what is going on.

I think a major reason I thought their relationship was weird is because of the fact that all the information we get of it comes from Laurie, who himself feels that way but doesn’t know enough about the situation to provide an answer as to why Ralph would be in it in the first place; he doesn’t know most of the story, is only there at the end, adores one-half of the equation while despising the other…and he’s the only one we can follow along with! It doesn’t help that most of his observations only serve to reintroduce/reinforce the same two questions constantly in his mind: 'why is Ralph with someone like this?' and ‘how can Ralph stand him?’ And that's all we get as readers! It's just Bunny being odd or painfully tone-deaf (the comments about Bim) or actually evil (the car scene+what he does to Andrew) and Laurie looking at Ralph, who he adores and has been dreaming about for years, going: 'but why though?’

I don’t have many other thoughts but I would love to hear more (real, unlike mine) theories! I’m really in the dark about Bunny generally; I feel there’s lots of stuff I didn’t pick up on regarding his character because I was too busy focusing on Laurie and Ralph. Oh, and as far as the ‘can you really believe that?’ comment, I assume it’s just that Ralph is used to such things being disbelieved. Laurie himself has a moment where he thinks they might get back together so long as no one intervenes to keep them away from one another in 48 hours (I think so anyway, I might be misremembering what he said). But anyway, thank you for the ask! I'm sorry I don't have much more to say!

Shâh-mât

The King is down

Scene from Chain of Iron by @cassandraclare

i read CS Lewis’ A Grief Observed one time years ago and i’m still not recovered from it

“I drink dew for wine, and hearken to The voices of the birds, and dance To the rhythmic swaying of the grass.

I am the lover’s gift; I am the wedding wreath; I am the memory of a moment of happiness; I am the last gift of the living to the dead; I am a part of joy and a part of sorrow.

But I look up high to see only the light, And never look down to see my shadow. This is wisdom which man must learn.”

- Song of the Flower by Khalil Gibran

I wondered about the cancelled party thing too! I thought it was plausible at least because Bunny does say something about Ralph keeping Laurie a little hidden and (I think, I don't really remember) seems annoyed by this. It's not a stretch to think he'd lie about being out for the night, only to show up when he knows Laurie is there.

That said, Laurie also thinks later that Bunny isn't so much a planner as he is someone who just takes chances when they come to him. Alec hints at this too. So, I don't really know if I'm right: the level of foresight/planning that my idea of Bunny would suggest doesn't line up with the common perception of him given by at least 2 characters...honestly, Bunny (and his relationship with Ralph) always seemed odd to me. I was half-convinced the first time I read the book that Laurie was simply misjudging the situation and they weren't as serious as he imagined. I mean, Ralph never shows any real affection for Bunny in any of their scenes together! And Bunny is very weird! Their whole relationship was so weird to me lol

That Bunny car scene

Hi there @telltaleangelina I just wanted to think a bit more about the scene with Bunny and Laurie in the car scene on the back of your ask/answer.

I think you really got to the heart of it with that line ‘the practiced inflection’.  Laurie uses his intuition a lot (sometimes without even being sure what he is picking up) and it’s just such a creepy line, indicating how Bunny seamlessly adopts that tone.  Although I suppose there is an analogue with Ralph giving Bunny ‘the straight look’ for the first time back at the flat.

It suddenly occurred to me that cars are so symbolic of male power at that time, and it evokes that horrible trope of men taking women out and expecting some kind of ‘payment’.  I wonder if Bunny is just so cynical that he assumes Laurie is paying Ralph back in kind for the lift, and decides he wants a piece of the action.  Or he thinks Ralph is being ridiculously gentlemanly about Laurie and wants to bring him down to his level.

I realised the scene provides a contrast to the earlier car scene with Ralph.  I know we love the little knee touch in the 1953 version when they are parked up at the scenic spot, but to me, she took that out for a reason in the 1959.  It shows the high level of tension (not just sexual!) between them and the way both of them are being hyper-vigilant – Ralph trying very hard to judge the moment with Laurie, and Laurie trying very hard to be respectful of the fact that Ralph has a boyfriend.  And also, Laurie sits in silence to avoid attracting Ralph’s anger when he hits the traffic.  And he is so uncomfortable with being dependent on Ralph – the number of times he tries to leave the party to get the bus, and he tries it again at Bunny’s.

I also realised that it almost doesn’t matter whether Bunny would have followed through with his threat or not.  It just conjures up the horrible thought that he is used to getting what he wants, and most of the time, people don’t stand up to him.  So perhaps this is a neat way to show Laurie’s strength of character in a crisis.

The other thing that is quite disturbing, if not surprising, though, is that Laurie then plays it down with Ralph.  Partly because he fears not being believed (a bit like Alec silently taking the blame for Bunny’s gossip for a quiet life), and partly to spare Ralph’s feelings.  I realised he would be very influenced as well by the ‘no snitch’ rule in school, where telling on another boy would be considered worse than the original offence.  But it is cowardly too.  I wonder if his anger on the staircase is partly fueled by his frustration at being put in that situation, the suggestion that Ralph is so inured to that kind of behaviour that he doesn’t even notice any more.  And in a way Ralph is responsible, because even if Bunny spiked his drink, he still chose alcohol over tea.  But Laurie is also too passive.  In the end Ralph ends it with Bunny without knowing for sure what he did.  Unless he knows because Bunny has form.  In which case why is he with someone like that?  Either way, Laurie’s horrible accusations on the staircase have the ring of truth.

And finally I can’t go without mentioning that other linked car scene – Ralph kissing Laurie on the first night at the party (very heavy hint anyway) when he is dreaming about his mother kissing him!!  And Ralph sitting there having a cigarette while he waits for Laurie to wake up is so sweet.

9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

Thank you @rottenlaertes for tagging me!

3 Ships You Like:

Laurie Odell/Ralph Lanyon (The Charioteer)

Laurie Odell/Andrew Raynes (also The Charioteer)

I cannot think of a third tbh, maybe Ralph Lanyon/Alec Deacon? (Also the Charioteer -- can you tell I've read it recently?)

First Ship Ever: I don’t really remember. I know it's locked in my memory somewhere, but I probably haven't thought about wherever it's from in forever, so it's not coming to me now

Last Song You Heard: Sang-Hyun’s Prayer by Jo Yeong-wook, from the movie ‘Thirst'

Favorite Children Book: The Giver by Lois Lowry!

Currently Reading: The Phaedrus, so I can reread the Charioteer right after lol

Currently Watching: The Legend of Korra!

Currently Consuming: I’m having tea!

Currently Craving: Coffee!

honestly, all the people I would want to tag in this have already done it so anyone else who wants to can!