Was The Inquisitor Corresponding With Tatiana Lightwood? Is That Why He Would Want To Burn A Random Letter

mary oliver, i wake close to morning

i have returned to the emptiness which inevitably follows reading a very very good book and having nothing to read afterwards because i can't think of anything that would be as good...(this is my not so subtle way of asking if anyone knows books similar to the charioteer and can recommend them 😭)

"I would whisper to some shadow made of moonlight, "Am I beautiful? It is for you alone. Say that you love me, for without you I cannot live." It was true, at least, that youth cannot live without hope."

-- The Persian Boy, Mary Renault

it goes against so much of what i stand for to share "palestinians are humans, they have hobbies, they have pets, they laugh and cry" kind of posts because i've spent so much of my life and career completely rejecting the notion that we should humanize ourselves, that we should ever be defensive, that we should entertain this racism at all

but it breaks my heart when i have to share them from people in gaza, who are using their five minutes of internet connection, their 25% of battery charge collected from a macguyvered car battery, emotionally exhausted, thirsty and hungry, sleeping in schools that have turned into refugee shelters and still making the time to say "please, i am human too, i am still alive, please fight for me" in english to appeal to the only people who have the power to help

i shared a tweet from a jjk artist in gaza i follow about a bts photocard being found in the middle of the rubble. even the love of anime and kpop and sports is no longer just a hobby, but an appeal to humanity. what was once a source of joy is now proof of life.

the worst part is that you won't find this content in arabic. palestinians don't post like this in arabic. but when they translate themselves, they recognize that they must humanize themselves first. it's an unspoken understanding of dehumanization, one that has dictated a whole region's understanding of the value of human life. in arabic they speak with dignity, with anger, with sorrow. in english, they appeal for their existence.

i share these posts not just because we have to reach everyone we can, because im being asked to and i will not refuse. but i also share them because they're evidence of how deep the racism has run. at what dehumanization leads to. of war crime after war crime. this too i will not forget.

cordelia carstairs to james at the herondale ball:

BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER (1999) dir. JAMIE BABBIT

I may be reading too much into this passage, or maybe someone's mentioned it before but I think it's so funny; it seems to me he's just describing Ralph and Andrew when talking about Hamlet and Brutus (and how he dislikes them 😭), and it seems to say a lot about how different Laurie is when we see him after Dunkirk.

Adding ‘lol’ to the end of a sentence is the laugh track of the written word.

I hope you'll be able to post! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Re the Alec line - - I'm taking it in the sense that Alec finally gets to do what Ralph never allowed him to do in their relationship: help him. And it's kind of sweet to see all the effort he had to go to in order to make sure Laurie straightens everything out.

A little random blurb but: I really liked Alec and Ralph's friendship. When I was reading, I got the impression they were somewhat similar in character and this was their issue before when they were together. But maybe I'm wrong here; Alec does say Ralph's capacity to shoulder responsibility is singular and he doesn't share it. I can't think of much beyond these small thoughts but seeing it all laid out made me wonder about it more.

At the end of The Charioteer, Laurie lies to Ralph but feels the lie as if it's true. There's something that must be done, and only he can do it. He accepts this, even if he lies in order to achieve it.

Before, Ralph told Laurie he hates to stand by watching while there's pain or the possibility of it, and do nothing. It's not the way he's made, he says. This is a direct contrast to Andrew, who we see literally standing, watching and doing nothing when caring for Charlot. This is not because Andrew is unkind, it is because there is right and wrong and nothing whatever in between. Ralph is not like this: people need someone, he takes on that responsibility, even if it isn't his to shoulder. He acts like God, they say. He's the opposite of Andrew in this regard. Maybe the point is that Laurie isn't like Andrew either, although he loves him. It's also not in his nature to stand and watch people suffer; this is why he felt something ought to be done in school when Ralph was being kicked out, and why he feels it at the end of the book when he realizes what Ralph is planning to do. It's why he feels the pressing demand to deceive Charlot even as he knows that, in his right mind, the man would never want it. I got the sense the first time I read the book and now the second, that Laurie is much more generally suited to Ralph, and this is why.

I don't know if this makes sense, I've not gotten much sleep. Any thoughts? Do you think this is right, wrong? Am I overthinking it?