Dear Past Me,

I want Toriel to be my mom she's so good, and nice, and fluffy, I miss when my mom was nice and fluffy!

It's okay babyfish, I'm here for you

nobody calls me babygirl on here it's always 'fish'

Do you ever feel like a starving carnivore?

What do you mean?

Well, sometimes, very rarely mind you, but once in a blue moon I get into this mood where I like, feel like I wanna eat organs or some shit. Not a random person though, I'm not Jeffery Dahmer! It's like I wanna eat myself? Like I get a rage and my head gets filled with violent gore and screaming and I wanna tear flesh from bone like I'm a wild animal or a monster or something, but in a weird way at the same time I always wanna be torn apart myself, feel the pain, I desire it. I tend to eat gas station meats when I feel like that, viciously rip it with my teeth, sometimes I get cheetos or takis too and it's like I'm breaking through bones, and in a weird way, I'm not me anymore. I'm a monster tearing myself apart. I'm a ravenous creature feasting on fresh meat and chewing through bones and drinking in the viscous blood. I'm me and I'm the monster I run from, I'm the monster and the meat.

When it ends it helps, I feel better, I'm not mad anymore, the monster is fed and it can go back to it's cage for a long time before it inevitably begins to starve again.

I don't know how to get rid of the monster that desires so desperately sometimes to eat me and begs for a visceral mess of carnage. I don't think I could deny it forever no matter how hard I tried. I can delay it, I don't open that cage until I am home, but the monster won't let me rest if I don't feed it eventually, fake meat, fake blood, fake bones, for the imaginary monster. I don't know how to get rid of the desire to be torn apart by it.

Like I said, it doesn't happen often, and I never hurt anyone in reality, I don't even hurt anyone in my head, the monster eats me, I am the monster, I only eat myself. I don't know what that means though.

The best way I can describe it is feeling like a starving carnivore.

God, shit, sorry I forgot who you were for a minute, everyone's wearing glasses, are you glasses boy 53 or 47?

I'm a girlfriend erather guyth

Jutht thayin keheheh

the generational gap between me and the people my age who use chat gpt

As a cosplayer I have huffed so munch spray pant and super gloo

And I am losing brian cells at a ranpit ratee

Its is very anuisance

Trans problems: having the unfortunate ability to get both titty cancer and ball cancer in your lifetime

I hate high school, and you should too! They don't care about the students safety or mental health enough to even let us piss in peace. School sucks.

*points to cat* psychopath,

*points to dog* monster,

*gestures to myself* disaster gay,

Its bound to be a mess.