Roasted Chicken, Ginger, Daikon, Shiitake Mushroom Soup With Lime, Cilantro, Broccoli Sprouts, And Rice

Calculus is ruining my fucking life. Every time I see a thing inside another thing, I can't help but wonder how to apply the chain rule. It started with abstract things like syntax trees, but I got jumpscared by a banner ad showing penis-in-vagina sex and all I could think about was derivatives. v'(p(x)) * p'(x), where v(x) is vagina and p(x) is penis. Now, how to find v'(x) and p'(x). . . ?

Everything is secretly about sex, except sex, which is secretly about calculus.

my mom is buying me a dutch oven for my birthday :3

I think tumblr should be able to show you how many people have blocked you. Like not names or anything, just a rough number showing how many people have you on their blocklist. I want to know my hater stats.

so i just learned something really fucked up about US coinage...

a quarter weighs EXACTLY 2.5 times as much as a dime.

as a consequence, quarters and dimes have the same value-to-mass ratio.

and this ratio? $20/lb.

this means that a pound of any mix of quarters and dimes is worth exactly $20.

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”

me whenever i see /pos and /hj: why are you calling me a piece of shit and what do handjobs have to do with any of this :/