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I got the feeling I was about to hit a brick wall in the near future, so, with a little encouragement from my Discord friends, I went grocery shopping for easy-prep meals for the next week or so. Here’s some tips on doing the thing!
Note: not all of these tips are the most 100% budget friendly. I am in a situation where I can afford to weight easy-to-prepare over buying in bulk and making things myself so they cost less. The balance may lie in a different place for you and your budget, and all I encourage you to do is your best.
No one cares what you’re wearing in a grocery store.
This one’s from personal experience, having worked grocery. If you show up in a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt, that’s not going to throw anyone off. If you’re literally wearing a hoody and shorts, no one’s going to raise a fuss. Just put some clothes on and go.
Stop at the deli for ready-to-eat.
In my case, this was potato salad and cabbage rolls (and ambrosia salad), but there were plenty of options for ‘nuke it and call it a meal’ dinners, as well as soups. Your friendly deli person can take ‘I’m looking for something pre-made for dinner this week’ and guide you toward what’s fresh and what’s good.
Do buy larger sizes if you don’t know when the next time you’ll have energy to grocery is.
The particular item that this applied most to for me was honey: I opted for a larger size than I usually do, because I know that depression and cool weather both lead me toward tea-drinking, and I don’t know when shopping will happen.
Buying in bulk can also cost less, if that’s something you’re taking into consideration.
Do buy the ‘fun’ varieties.
For example, one of me depression meals tends to be oatmeal, because it’s quick and doesn’t require actual cooking. Today I bought the dino egg oatmeal for kids, because I thought it’d make me smile. I also got a slightly fancier brand of ramen than usual, because I thought it’d be more likely to get me to eat when all I can manage is a ramen.
Do buy a post-grocery treat for yourself.
You deserve it for making it through the trip. A box or two of Botan rice candy, or a candy bar at the check out is not a bad thing.
The simpler the prep, the better.
Minute rice cups that you can nuke and be done with? Great! Uncle Ben’s rice packets? Superb! Tuna fish pre-flavored packets? Amazing! Uncrustables? Dandy!
Do try and manage a smile for your cashier.
Again, from my personal experience in this position. We can tell you want to be done and out of here as fast as possible. We can tell if you’re frustrated with how slow you’re going. Cashiers are underpaid and stressed and have been on their feet for hours. Give them civility, if not outright pleasantness.
So I wasn’t really taught to brush my teeth every day as a kid. So I didn’t. I got to be an adult and realized “hmm teeth are expensive I need to start brushing them” and brushing my teeth twice a day has been on my actual to do list every single day of my college career. It’s a habit I needed to build.
Have I successfully done it? Absolutely not. I’m pretty good about doing it at least once a day, but some days it just doesn’t happen. It’s not that I forget usually, I just had some aversion I couldn’t figure out, until last week.
I’m at the grocery store, in the toothpaste aisle with my roommate, and I complain about how much I hate mint. I FUCKING HATE THE TASTE OF MINT. The taste and the smell, any kind of minty thing in any form, I HATE IT. But literally every “adult” toothpaste in the aisle was some type of minty disgusting nonsense. And my roommate was like “you know you could like get kids’ toothpaste? You like bubblegum right?”
And y’all, it was like the clouds parted. I got some strawberry bubblegum kids’ toothpaste. I brushed my teeth with it and it was a whole new experience. I have successfully brushed twice a day every day since, because the mental block I had towards it is gone!
I thought my lack of brushing was just a moral failing on my part; I was too lazy, too undisciplined, to build a good habit. But really? I just hate the taste of mint so much I didn’t want to brush my teeth.
This made me realize that when presented with a change you want to make, a habit you want to build, if you’re encountering resistance in yourself, you should lean into that resistance and really investigate what’s causing it, then work on accommodating that.
Say you hate washing dishes so they pile up and then you’re overwhelmed by how many you have to do. Why do you hate it? Deep down, what about it do you dislike? Is touching wet food super gross for you? Try thick rubber gloves while you’re washing. Does the sound of dishing clanking together grate your nerves? Do them with headphones in and turned up loud. Do you hate the smell? Light some candles, spray some air freshener.
Do these things instead of gritting your teeth and forcing yourself, then ultimately failing and getting discouraged by your “lack of self-discipline”
TL;DR: When a task is consistently hard for you, relying on self-discipline, forcing yourself, and gritting through doesn’t always work. Lean in and listen to your discomfort, and find what makes the task hard, then try to accommodate that. Also, mint toothpaste is gross.
I have chronic depression and executive dysfunction. I’ve also been working from home for a good few years now. I’ve learned a lot, so I think I have some advice to help all of the people that are now stuck at home for long periods of time.
1. Shower, change your clothes, brush your hair, brush your teeth, shave. Anything that you would normally do first thing in the morning to prep for school/work, you still need to do it. Our minds crave the routine, and your body doesn’t suddenly stop needing to be clean because no one is seeing it dirty.
2. Do everything in your mortal power to keep the same sleep schedule you had before. For the absolute love of god. Set an alarm and stick to it as if your life depended on it. Fucking with your circadian rhythm is the #1 to make you feel like dog shit.
3. Keep a journal or at least a calendar. It helps the days matter. If you don’t have something concrete to look at each morning or night to remember the day and the date, everything starts to meld together. It fucks with your soul. And besides, you’re living through a historical event. If any time was the time to start documenting your life, it’s now.
4. Stay in touch with your friends. It doesn’t matter how, as long as you do. Discord is a go-to. Even Facebook works. There’s also Watch2Gether, where you can watch videos online with friends.
5. If you’re religious, continue practicing your faith within the comfort of your home. Your God doesn’t care where you pray. They get it. It’s cool. This is especially important if religious gatherings were a part of your normal life. Right now, everything is scary. Find comfort where you can.
6. Pets are important. Take care of them well if you have them. Walk them or let them get exercise. Play with them. Cuddle them. You both are made healthier with the contact.
7. Pick up a hobby you’ve always wanted to but never had the time or energy. It’ll let you feel productive and give you the feeling of accomplishment that school and work might. And it’ll keep your mind engaged.
8. It’s tempting, but don’t binge watch or play. Don’t watch the entire SVU franchise back to back, or spend 12 hours playing Morrowind. You shouldn’t do anything for such a prolonged period of time. It turns something that should be a reward into the emotional and mental equivalent to junk food. If you have to, at lest cycle what you’re watching/playing.
9. Work out. You’re going to gain weight, that’s normal. It’s a drastic change to… well, everything, but especially your body. This is twice as likely if you eat when you’re emotional/bored.
10. Fuck me, stop watching the damn news so much. Social media counts, too. Maybe check once a day, once every other day. You’re freaking yourself out for no good reason. The numbers aren’t so important that you need to know it every hour of the day. You don’t need to see what stupid things someone said or did. Our brains weren’t meant for this.
11. If you have the luxury, go outside. This is maybe one of the most important ones. If you live far enough from others, take a walk. Maybe bike. If you can’t, go in your yard and relax. If all else fails, open every window in the house. Homes can constrict you if you stay there for to long. It starts to feel like a prison, and you go stir crazy. No home should feel like a prison.
12. If you have one, your therapist very likely offers online visits. Most state insurances that cover therapy/counseling also include online visits as an accessibility feature. Even if you don’t normally attend therapy, you may need it to combat situational anxiety and depression, which is just as important as their chronic cousins.
Uh. Hope I helped. I’ve always sucked at concluding statements.