#GrowingUpUgly When Guys In Middle School Would Get Dared By Their Friends To Ask You Out And See If

dont underestimate the power of kindness. strength is not being cold hearted and aloof, it’s being amicable in the face of bitterness or gentle with those who need to be loved. so please, if nothing else, be kind.

pride parade in san francisco june 2017 // ig. @isisilvach 

What to do if you meet a toxic “professional”

I met a shit doctor today. They shamed me and blamed me for my illness, treated me like a drug addict for needing anti depressants, refused to give me enough to last til next appointment… Made us cry, gave me a panic attack and shamed me for being an adult with special needs and dependent on my parents. Aggressively gave bad information. I will be reporting them to the psychiatry board, but in the meantime, I want to tell people what I learned.

If someone makes you uncomfortable, professional or not, tell them and if they continue just leave! You can walk away!

You don’t owe anyone apologies for who you are or for having an illness

Read online reviews before seeing someone, check for red flags. I wish I had! They had similar experiences! Almost exactly the same.

If someone constantly interrupts you when it’s your turn to talk, they are out of line.

I’m a trauma survivor. It’s hard for me to say no. You can say no. You don’t have to sign things against your will.

Take a friend or family member who will have your back.

Please don’t give up hope on finding treatment from a bad experience, try again when you are ready.

Prepare some phrases if you need help to walk away. “I don’t think we are a good match, I will be leaving now.” Is more than acceptable.

In hindsight, I could have called the police or someone, don’t be afraid to step out and do that. Especially if they hurt you physically, that’s assault!

I hope this helps someone.

How to stay sane during quarantine

I have chronic depression and executive dysfunction. I’ve also been working from home for a good few years now. I’ve learned a lot, so I think I have some advice to help all of the people that are now stuck at home for long periods of time.

1. Shower, change your clothes, brush your hair, brush your teeth, shave. Anything that you would normally do first thing in the morning to prep for school/work, you still need to do it. Our minds crave the routine, and your body doesn’t suddenly stop needing to be clean because no one is seeing it dirty. 

2. Do everything in your mortal power to keep the same sleep schedule you had before. For the absolute love of god. Set an alarm and stick to it as if your life depended on it. Fucking with your circadian rhythm is the #1 to make you feel like dog shit.

3. Keep a journal or at least a calendar. It helps the days matter. If you don’t have something concrete to look at each morning or night to remember the day and the date, everything starts to meld together. It fucks with your soul. And besides, you’re living through a historical event. If any time was the time to start documenting your life, it’s now.

4. Stay in touch with your friends. It doesn’t matter how, as long as you do. Discord is a go-to. Even Facebook works. There’s also Watch2Gether, where you can watch videos online with friends. 

5. If you’re religious, continue practicing your faith within the comfort of your home. Your God doesn’t care where you pray. They get it. It’s cool. This is especially important if religious gatherings were a part of your normal life. Right now, everything is scary. Find comfort where you can.

6. Pets are important. Take care of them well if you have them. Walk them or let them get exercise. Play with them. Cuddle them. You both are made healthier with the contact. 

7. Pick up a hobby you’ve always wanted to but never had the time or energy. It’ll let you feel productive and give you the feeling of accomplishment that school and work might.  And it’ll keep your mind engaged.

8. It’s tempting, but don’t binge watch or play. Don’t watch the entire SVU franchise back to back, or spend 12 hours playing Morrowind. You shouldn’t do anything for such a prolonged period of time. It turns something that should be a reward into the emotional and mental equivalent to junk food. If you have to, at lest cycle what you’re watching/playing.

9. Work out. You’re going to gain weight, that’s normal. It’s a drastic change to… well, everything, but especially your body. This is twice as likely if you eat when you’re emotional/bored. 

10. Fuck me, stop watching the damn news so much. Social media counts, too. Maybe check once a day, once every other day. You’re freaking yourself out for no good reason. The numbers aren’t so important that you need to know it every hour of the day. You don’t need to see what stupid things someone said or did. Our brains weren’t meant for this.

11. If you have the luxury, go outside. This is maybe one of the most important ones. If you live far enough from others, take a walk. Maybe bike. If you can’t, go in your yard and relax. If all else fails, open every window in the house. Homes can constrict you if you stay there for to long. It starts to feel like a prison, and you go stir crazy. No home should feel like a prison. 

12. If you have one, your therapist very likely offers online visits. Most state insurances that cover therapy/counseling also include online visits as an accessibility feature. Even if you don’t normally attend therapy, you may need it to combat situational anxiety and depression, which is just as important as their chronic cousins. 

Uh. Hope I helped. I’ve always sucked at concluding statements.