Xo

you are not an exception. you deserve the same happiness you wish on everyone else. you are just as worthy as them. please never forget that.

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“Part of maintaining your energy is limiting other people’s access to it” - carajojo // isuperbloom.com

"notes in my lunches, winter 2022" a collection compiled by my finacée <3

reminder that the school system is just one way out of many to measure intelligence. it is also a flawed system that sometimes benefits some students over others. so please don't depend your worth on it. you are worthy even if you fail. you are worthy as you are

some people were asking for a actual and i can never pass up an opportunity to procrastinate so here’s just a couple of things i always need to remind myself of…now back to my paper :(

Grocery Shopping Tips for Pre-Depression

I got the feeling I was about to hit a brick wall in the near future, so, with a little encouragement from my Discord friends, I went grocery shopping for easy-prep meals for the next week or so. Here’s some tips on doing the thing!

Note: not all of these tips are the most 100% budget friendly. I am in a situation where I can afford to weight easy-to-prepare over buying in bulk and making things myself so they cost less. The balance may lie in a different place for you and your budget, and all I encourage you to do is your best.

No one cares what you’re wearing in a grocery store.

This one’s from personal experience, having worked grocery. If you show up in a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt, that’s not going to throw anyone off. If you’re literally wearing a hoody and shorts, no one’s going to raise a fuss. Just put some clothes on and go.

Stop at the deli for ready-to-eat.

In my case, this was potato salad and cabbage rolls (and ambrosia salad), but there were plenty of options for ‘nuke it and call it a meal’ dinners, as well as soups. Your friendly deli person can take ‘I’m looking for something pre-made for dinner this week’ and guide you toward what’s fresh and what’s good.

Do buy larger sizes if you don’t know when the next time you’ll have energy to grocery is.

The particular item that this applied most to for me was honey: I opted for a larger size than I usually do, because I know that depression and cool weather both lead me toward tea-drinking, and I don’t know when shopping will happen.

Buying in bulk can also cost less, if that’s something you’re taking into consideration.

Do buy the ‘fun’ varieties.

For example, one of me depression meals tends to be oatmeal, because it’s quick and doesn’t require actual cooking. Today I bought the dino egg oatmeal for kids, because I thought it’d make me smile. I also got a slightly fancier brand of ramen than usual, because I thought it’d be more likely to get me to eat when all I can manage is a ramen.

Do buy a post-grocery treat for yourself.

You deserve it for making it through the trip. A box or two of Botan rice candy, or a candy bar at the check out is not a bad thing.

The simpler the prep, the better.

Minute rice cups that you can nuke and be done with? Great! Uncle Ben’s rice packets? Superb! Tuna fish pre-flavored packets? Amazing! Uncrustables? Dandy!

Do try and manage a smile for your cashier.

Again, from my personal experience in this position. We can tell you want to be done and out of here as fast as possible. We can tell if you’re frustrated with how slow you’re going. Cashiers are underpaid and stressed and have been on their feet for hours. Give them civility, if not outright pleasantness.

Self-Discipline Isn’t Always the Answer

So I wasn’t really taught to brush my teeth every day as a kid. So I didn’t. I got to be an adult and realized “hmm teeth are expensive I need to start brushing them” and brushing my teeth twice a day has been on my actual to do list every single day of my college career. It’s a habit I needed to build.

Have I successfully done it? Absolutely not. I’m pretty good about doing it at least once a day, but some days it just doesn’t happen. It’s not that I forget usually, I just had some aversion I couldn’t figure out, until last week.

I’m at the grocery store, in the toothpaste aisle with my roommate, and I complain about how much I hate mint. I FUCKING HATE THE TASTE OF MINT. The taste and the smell, any kind of minty thing in any form, I HATE IT. But literally every “adult” toothpaste in the aisle was some type of minty disgusting nonsense. And my roommate was like “you know you could like get kids’ toothpaste? You like bubblegum right?”

And y’all, it was like the clouds parted. I got some strawberry bubblegum kids’ toothpaste. I brushed my teeth with it and it was a whole new experience. I have successfully brushed twice a day every day since, because the mental block I had towards it is gone! 

I thought my lack of brushing was just a moral failing on my part; I was too lazy, too undisciplined, to build a good habit. But really? I just hate the taste of mint so much I didn’t want to brush my teeth.

This made me realize that when presented with a change you want to make, a habit you want to build, if you’re encountering resistance in yourself, you should lean into that resistance and really investigate what’s causing it, then work on accommodating that. 

Say you hate washing dishes so they pile up and then you’re overwhelmed by how many you have to do. Why do you hate it? Deep down, what about it do you dislike? Is touching wet food super gross for you? Try thick rubber gloves while you’re washing. Does the sound of dishing clanking together grate your nerves? Do them with headphones in and turned up loud. Do you hate the smell? Light some candles, spray some air freshener. 

Do these things instead of gritting your teeth and forcing yourself, then ultimately failing and getting discouraged by your “lack of self-discipline”

TL;DR: When a task is consistently hard for you, relying on self-discipline, forcing yourself, and gritting through doesn’t always work. Lean in and listen to your discomfort, and find what makes the task hard, then try to accommodate that. Also, mint toothpaste is gross.